Chapter 41. Just Because It Was Raining
2023.10.11.
"This concludes today's meeting."
The State Council meeting ended.
Herdin leisurely rose from his seat and left the conference room with Ruth. The first thing that caught his eye upon exiting was the corridor window.
The sky was overcast. Judging by the ominous dark clouds, it looked like rain would fall soon.
Ruth, noticing his gaze, spoke up.
"Just when I thought the weather was clearing up, it seems spring rain is coming."
Herdin looked out the window at the full view of the Imperial Palace. Though hidden by trees, the Empress Palace would be beyond there. And Blair would likely be there right now.
'Someone came from the Loreline Count's family, and yesterday someone from the Imperial Palace visited the Count's family. And today, Her Majesty the Grand Empress summoned the lady.'
Until he married, he had thought Katrina cherished her daughter dearly.
Her daughter was always dressed in expensive clothes, wearing costly jewelry, and smiling brightly among people who praised her.
He hadn't known then that what is visible isn't everything.
At the first banquet after his marriage with Ivan, the appearance of Blair he saw, and the behaviors shown at Katrina's birthday banquet.
The reality of the mother-daughter relationship seen up close was different from what he had thought.
Only then did he realize that Katrina's attitude toward her daughter was strange. Blair's attitude toward her as well.
He couldn't judge everything based on those brief, fragmented moments, but he could tell their relationship was not that of an ordinary mother and daughter.
Suddenly, Blair's appearance at the banquet came to mind.
The way she had trembling hands fidgeting under the table, yet still spoke her mind calmly.
"……."
Herdin, walking down the corridor lost in thought, stopped in his tracks when he discovered something.
It had started raining at some point.
* * *
After finishing her conversation with Katrina and leaving the Empress Palace, Blair encountered an unexpected variable.
Spring rain.
Blair came to a halt before the sudden rain. A maid from the Empress Palace who spotted her immediately ran through the rain to fetch a carriage.
Since she had left in such a hurry after finishing her conversation with Katrina, there hadn't been time to have a carriage waiting, so Blair had to stand stiffly at the entrance waiting for one.
A maid from the Empress Palace who was watching Blair carefully spoke up.
"Madam, the temperature is still cold. Please wait inside."
"It's fine. It will be here soon anyway. The air is fresh, so I'll stay like this."
Blair declined the maid's suggestion and waited for the carriage, staring blankly at the drizzling rain.
'What would change by digging into it now? Would that dead woman come back to life?'
Katrina was not just refusing to approach the truth of that incident from ten years ago—she was afraid of it.
If what she said was the truth of that incident, she would have nothing to fear.
The moment she saw her, she finally faced properly the possibility she had been avoiding for ten years.
Perhaps my mother used me.
The accident that day, and perhaps even my life.
At the same time, the face of the mother who undeniably resembled her became chilling.
How could she do that.
How could my mother do that to me?
Of course, this was merely a possibility. It might not be the truth. It might be nothing more than her own suspicion.
But this too might be her rationalization, not wanting to be abandoned by her mother.
She had thought that having Asiel was enough for her. And that thought remained unchanged even now.
But what was this hollow feeling in her heart?
This feeling of being left alone in the world.
'……Asiel.'
Blair recalled the face of the child who had laughed brightly at her and stroked her empty stomach.
My baby.
Since there were no traces of that child anywhere in this world she had returned to, she at least touched the womb that had held that child.
But the slender stomach where nothing could be felt beyond her own body only deepened the emptiness.
When she met Asiel again, when she held that child—her only blood family—in her arms again... she felt like this overwhelming emptiness that threatened to swallow her would disappear. She felt like the emotions of this moment would become nothing.
Because when she saw that child who breathed and smiled brightly relying only on her, she felt she could overcome anything.
So, she couldn't help but be affected now, without that child.
The moment the rain-filled landscape filled Blair's hollow purple eyes, a carriage stopped in front of the Empress Palace.
A family crest depicting the wings of a divine beast.
It was the same Delmark Duchy crest as the one on the carriage Blair had arrived in, but it wasn't the carriage she had come in.
The carriage door opened and a familiar face stepped out.
Herdin, holding an umbrella, strode toward Blair. Blair stared blankly at him as he approached her.
She had fought with him.
He suspected her. Because she was Katrina's daughter.
He was probably suspecting her even at this very moment. What they might have talked about, whether she had been swayed by her mother.
And perhaps he had killed her in her previous life.
Yet the moment he appeared before her eyes, her world finally became just the two of them.
Herdin, who had walked with a pace that was neither leisurely nor hurried, stopped in front of Blair.
Blair looked up at him with disbelieving eyes. Beneath the umbrella, eyes so blue they were cold quietly gazed at her.
After studying her for a moment, he extended his hand.
"Let us go."
Blair alternated between looking at the large hand extended to her and him, then placed her hand on top of his.
Then the large hand enveloped hers and gently pulled her under the umbrella. At the same time, the umbrella tilted toward her.
Blair boarded the carriage with him. Ruth moved to the carriage Blair had arrived in. Soon, the carriage departed.
Only silence filled the carriage.
Blair glanced at Herdin from the corner of her eye. He only stared at the window where raindrops were streaming down, saying nothing.
'I thought he would naturally ask about the conversation with my mother.'
She would have answered casually if he had. Blair found this silence uncomfortable. She worried he was secretly nurturing his suspicions.
Eventually, Blair spoke first.
"It seems my mother planted someone at the mansion. She knew I was consulting with Lady Loreline."
Only then did Herdin's gaze, which had been directed out the window, turn to Blair. There was no look of surprise on his face. It seemed he had already anticipated it.
"And..."
Blair, who had been answering an unasked question, closed her mouth as she was about to say the next words.
If she told him that Katrina had told her to stop searching for her memories, it would amount to telling Herdin that she might have been involved in Esmeralda's death in some way.
What reaction would he show upon recalling that possibility?
He too would already be suspecting the Grand Empress, but a simple hunch turning into near-certain suspicion was an entirely different matter.
Nevertheless, Blair continued speaking.
"...And, she told me to stop searching for my memories."
Because she had resolved to find the truth no matter what, and he was the partner who would help find that truth.
"Of course, regardless of my mother's wishes, I will definitely find my memories—"
"I know."
A calm, mid-low voice cut off Blair's words. The look in his eyes that met hers also didn't suspect or interrogate her like before.
"You don't need to explain further to me."
Blair looked at him with eyes that didn't understand.
"Then why..."
It was an unfinished question—why did he come to pick her up if that wasn't what he was curious about.
Instead of answering, Herdin quietly looked down at Blair's pale face and discovered a small raindrop clinging to her hair.
Seeing his hand approach, Blair reflexively closed her eyes.
He brushed away the raindrop clinging near her temple with his index finger. His gaze, which had been directed at the raindrop, immediately returned to Blair, and their eyes met.
Only then did Herdin answer in a dry voice.
"Just because it was raining."
* * *
"Did you call for me, Your Grace."
That night, Herdin summoned Kaligo to his office.
"Kaligo, track the Grand Empress's movements for the time being."
The day of the accident.
Blair had gone to the Empress Palace secretly without telling Katrina, but Katrina said she heard from a maid she had planted in the Princess Palace that Blair had gone to the Empress Palace. The maid testified the same.
Katrina used that fact to dismiss the suspicion directed at her.
If she had truly tried to kill Esmeralda, would she have attempted such a thing on that very day, knowing full well that her daughter was at the Empress Palace?
She had even gone to the temple that night to save Blair, who was seriously injured.
But until now, Herdin had never doubted that Katrina was the culprit. He thought the maid's testimony was false, and that Blair was also pretending to have lost her memories to comfortably cover up her mother's crime.
However, there was one more possibility that everyone had missed, unable to go against the bonds of family.
'The possibility that woman used even her daughter's life.'
Blair probably felt the same way.
She wouldn't have thought that her mother would use her life.
'No, she probably didn't want to think about it.'
Because she couldn't be confident she could accept it if it were the truth.
After recalling that possibility, he hesitated. About making her recover her memories.
Still, he had no intention of stopping here.
Whatever the truth, he would definitely find out. Why his aunt had to die. Why Delmark had to bear such a stigma.
Even if Blair got hurt in the process, it was a truth she must accept.
'Either way, I can't rely only on her memories.'
Having reached that conclusion, Herdin continued speaking.
"I've thoroughly stirred up that woman's temper. If she's the culprit, she'll check once more. Out of anxiety, wondering if I missed anything."
"……"
"Keep watch on all the witnesses involved at that time, and report if you find anything suspicious."
Kaligo's eyes, having received Herdin's command, shone more sharply than usual.
With a grave expression, he bowed his head.
"I shall follow your command."