Chapter 152. What It Means to Become Husband and Wife
There was no Delmark villa in this village.
Strictly speaking, it was a small village near Ikar, so the noble who ruled the territory also lived in Ikar.
Therefore, the only place Herdin could go after leaving Blair's house was the inn at the village entrance where he had tied his horse.
Having come up to the inn room, Herdin collapsed onto the bed as he was.
Blair had threatened that she would never let him into the house again, but her safety was more important to him.
He hadn't done a single thing properly for her throughout her entire pregnancy; he couldn't possibly give her a cold on top of that.
'It'll be fine once I sleep it off.'
He let out a hot breath and closed his eyes.
His fever rose, and he drifted in and out of shallow sleep several times. Suddenly, he felt a cool sensation brush against his face and opened his eyes. Beyond his blurry vision, he saw a familiar figure.
"……Blair?"
The hand that had been wiping his face with a wet towel paused. At the same time, the eyes that met his also trembled slightly.
Herdin raised his heavy body. His brow furrowed as he looked at her swollen belly.
"Why did you come. I told you, you might catch my cold."
Seeing him try to push her away the moment he saw her, Blair's expression twisted with resentment.
"You said you came because you missed me."
"That's―"
"You said to give you a chance."
"……."
"Are you going to push me away again under the pretext of protecting me, just like you did in the past?"
Seeing him push her away overlapped with how he had been in her past life, and anger suddenly flared up. Unlike yesterday, when she could speak calmly, her emotions overwhelmed her.
Sensing that, Herdin paused. Blair steadied her choking voice and continued.
"You're always like this. You act unilaterally under the excuse that it's for my sake."
"……."
"You don't even explain things properly, and I always find out the reason only long after. And then you make me, who resented you for making those choices for my sake, into the only bad person."
She had thought that his love and her love were simply different.
That his love, though it hurt her, wasn't wrong. Just different. He clearly loved her, and that feeling alone was genuine.
So she had chosen to part ways with him.
Because it wasn't wrong but merely different, she shouldn't condemn him as a bad person.
That somewhere in this world, there would be someone who could be happy with his love……
But he had returned to her. And seeing him return and repeat the same actions, she realized.
His unilateral love was wrong.
She finally realized that she, who had loved him so deeply, had merely packaged his love as 'different.'
The truth was that she had left his side not for his sake, but because she lacked the courage to be loved and hurt again, running away.
"Do you know how much…… that side of you makes me lonely and miserable?"
The tears she had desperately held back, the bitterness burst forth.
At Blair's tears, Herdin, who had paused for a moment, reached out his arms as if to embrace her, then lowered them again. Instead, his hand touched her wet cheek.
"I'm sorry. I…… I was wrong about everything."
"……."
"I'll fix it all. I'll listen to you. So please don't cry."
The fingertips of Herdin wiping away her tears, the eyes gazing at Blair, were trembling faintly.
Seeing him like that made Blair cry even more.
The man who feared nothing in this world, feared everything before her.
In his fingertips, in his voice, in his eyes…… the emotion felt from everything he directed toward her was clearly love.
Having barely gathered her emotions, Blair grasped his hand.
Blair looked into his eyes and spoke.
"Herdin. I don't want you to unconditionally listen to everything I say."
"……Then?"
"What I want is for us to face any problem as equals and work through it together. Talk together, worry together, solve it together."
"……."
"Because that's what being husband and wife means."
Herdin stared blankly at Blair as she said that for a moment.
Husband and wife.
The word that bound her and him together was more absolute to him than anything else.
"Yes, I will. I'll definitely do that."
Herdin readily answered, clasping her hand with his fever-hot hand. His hand, which no longer pulled away, held sincerity.
Feeling that, Blair slowly stopped crying. Embarrassed by her tears belatedly, she pulled her captured hand free and said.
"……Get some more sleep. Your fever hasn't gone down yet."
But Herdin didn't lie down right away and kept staring at her. He looked like he had something to say.
When Blair looked at him with curiosity, Herdin opened his mouth.
"If I fall asleep, will you leave?"
At that question, Blair blinked.
He used to push her away, telling her to leave. He used to try to escape from her however he could. Now he seemed anxious that she might leave.
"Would you like it if I didn't?"
Herdin, who seemed to ponder for a moment, answered.
"For now, let you go back, and let me come find you. ……Of course, not right now."
Then she remembered threatening that she would never let him into the house again.
Herdin pressed for her answer.
"Will you allow me?"
She had loved him, and still loved him.
And just as much, she had hated him for making her lonely in her past life.
She remembered the despair of her only person to lean on, the world she trusted crumbling.
But seeing him stubbornly suffer alone in an empty inn for fear of giving her a cold, he overlapped with his past self, and a thought suddenly occurred to her.
'You must have hurt as much as I did in your past life.'
In places I didn't know, hurting me under the pretext of doing it for me…… you must have struggled too.
Confronting his true feelings of wanting to be with her even as he pushed her away, the sorrow he must have endured alone freshly resonated with her.
Before his sincerity, all resentment became futile.
Because you love me, and I love you too.
Everything that had driven them apart in the past had been resolved, and only the matter of loving each other remained. So she decided to let go of the feelings of the past.
Having carefully sorted through her emotions, Blair looked into his eyes, then slowly opened her mouth.
"When you quietly get examined and get better."
Blair stayed by his side for quite a while after that. Until the doctor came and examined him, until he took his medicine and fell asleep.
* * *
"Mmm……"
The next day, Rina woke to a pleasant morning, just like any other day. That is, until she remembered the snow that had fallen through the night.
When she was young, she simply loved the snow, but now that she was the one who had to clear it…… well. Just the thought made her arms ache dully from yesterday's hard work shoveling snow.
"……I'll eat breakfast first, then clear it."
Because their precious Madam and Baby couldn't get hurt.
Thinking that, Rina was about to open the window to air out the room when she paused.
"Huh?"
Someone had already taken care of it; the snow was piled up on one side of the yard.
She suspected Melly since the bed next to hers was empty, but Melly was too small and weak to have cleared all that snow. Nilda was strong, but it would have been difficult for her to clear it all alone too.
'Well, who cares who cleared it.'
The important thing is that I don't have to do it!
Yawning widely, she came down to the first floor and saw Nilda and Melly preparing breakfast as they always did in the morning.
And in front of the fireplace sat Blair, dressed in her going-out clothes.
"Madam, good mor―"
Rina, who had been about to casually greet Blair, swallowed her words at the sound of Herdin's voice coming from beside her.
The culprit who had made Blair worry by disappearing with a sick body after arriving late the night before last was now tying the laces of her shoes, swollen from her pregnancy.
They said he was very sick, but he looked perfectly fine after just one night. It almost seemed like it was all a scheme to stay by Blair's side.
"There, all done."
Herdin stood up and helped Blair to her feet. Blair, leaning on him to support her heavy body as she rose, looked back at Rina.
"We're going out for a bit."
Rina nodded without thinking.
Herdin supported Blair, almost holding her up entirely, as they stepped out the front door.
Through the closing door, Blair's soft voice and Herdin's low laughter could be heard.
Rina quietly watched the two of them through the window.
Herdin never strayed from Blair's side, as if afraid she might fall, and Blair walked leaning completely against him. Talking, and occasionally meeting each other's eyes.
Melly, who had come up beside Rina as she watched the two, handed her a warm cup of tea and spoke up.
"Madam seems happy now, doesn't she?"
Blair had managed well on her own even without Herdin, but as Melly said, she finally looked at peace with him beside her.
Seeing that, Rina smiled as if conceding defeat.
"Yeah, she does."
She still disliked the man who had made Blair sad, but she thought that if Blair was happy, that was enough.
Rina and Melly warmed themselves with the hot tea, watching Blair and Herdin grow farther away.
A happy premonition came to them—that the remaining days ahead would be filled with similar scenes.