Episode 104
The service continued for about another hour after that, and Isaac and Sasha exchanged enough written notes to fill half the paper. They did not manage to carry on until the end. Between the bishop’s drowsy recitation of his sermon, Caroline found the scratch of their pen strangely suspicious and whipped her head around to look at them.
When Sasha’s eyes met Caroline’s, she smiled with a suitably sheepish expression, while Isaac, looking sour, swiftly lowered the hand that had been holding the pen above the desk.
“You’re not children. How could you fail to concentrate for even that short a time…”
After the service ended and people began rising from their seats one by one, Caroline opened her mouth to speak. Only the Count, unaware of what had happened behind him, raised his brows and looked back and forth between Isaac and Sasha as though asking for an explanation. Of course, instead of graciously clearing up the Count’s curiosity, they kept their mouths shut.
Though she looked somewhat dumbfounded, Caroline did not seem genuinely disappointed in them. In fact, she seemed quite the opposite, so Sasha quietly shook her head at Isaac, who looked ready to bristle and retort without reading the room.
Unlike when they had arrived, Sasha walked ahead with her arm linked through Caroline’s. Isaac naturally ended up walking a little behind with his father.
Of course, it was terribly awkward. It was his father who broke the silence between them.
“When did you say you were leaving?”
“Within three days. We’ve already been delayed long enough, so we may leave within two.”
“Because of the wedding? I’m sorry about that.”
The Count apologized, perfectly aware of the reason and with a face that did not look sorry in the slightest.
But Isaac no longer showed his displeasure. He knew why the Count had forced matters to such an extent.
Thanks to that unreasonable wedding, Isaac had, for the time being, succeeded in clearly imprinting his place once more upon the people of his hometown. And not only that. He had imprinted it upon the relatives who had grown so comfortable with him that they had become rude. That, too, had likely been part of the Count’s intention.
The Count valued a harmonious family spirit above all else, even shielding Elizabeth’s relatives. Had he followed his original temperament, he would never have looked the other way while Sasha behaved rudely toward them.
Isaac did not accept the Count’s belated apology. But he decided to pretend not to know and accept the arrangements the Count had belatedly made for his sake.
“Things are busy here, so I don’t think I’ll be able to attend the wedding in the capital. Your mother will go in my stead.”
“I understand. You’ve always been too busy to even breathe at this time of year.”
And yet, despite it being such a season, he had summoned Isaac and Sasha, and as if that were not enough, insisted on holding a wedding.
Isaac almost answered before stopping himself. Something heavy, as if lodged inside him, pressed down upon his chest. It was an emotion he could never bring himself to voice, one he could not permit himself. Grievance, disappointment, and all the childish longing he had never even dared to take out and lay bare had condensed and pooled in his chest.
It would probably last a lifetime. Isaac could guess that without difficulty.
With an expressionless face, Isaac looked at the Count’s profile. He looked at his father, who had grown thinner and far more lined in the time they had not seen each other.
‘I suppose it’s the same for him. Just like me, probably until the day he dies.’
“You may learn the work slowly, Isaac.”
At the voice breaking through his thoughts, Isaac turned to look beside him again. When he stared as if to ask what he meant, the Count spoke with a face that seemed perfectly calm.
“I mean you don’t need to rush back here the moment the succession ceremony is over. Isaac. Your wife is from the capital, so she must have plenty to do over there as well.”
“…You were the one who made me sign a written pledge saying I mustn’t be away for more than a few months.”
When Isaac replied as if he found it absurd, the Count smiled faintly.
His second son was, now as ever, a little slow on the uptake, and innocent.
“You will still be newlyweds. It happens only once in a lifetime, so I’m saying you may take your time and enjoy yourselves for a year or so.”
Isaac could not answer.
Whether he did or not, the Count walked past Isaac and went on ahead.
“The sun feels unusually harsh today.”
“It will likely rain tomorrow. It is always like this before it rains, is it not?”
“Isn’t that something I used to tell you when you were little?”
“It is, Mother.”
The Count, with practiced ease, took the parasol from Caroline and opened it. Isaac, who had been standing blankly and had fallen quite a way behind, belatedly caught up with them. As soon as he turned the corner leading to the garden, the only people he saw were the Count and Caroline. While he looked around in confusion, Caroline pointed to one side with the hand holding her fan.
“If it’s Sasha you’re looking for, she’s over there, Isaac.”
“Thank you.”
Isaac answered as if he had been waiting for that and disappeared in the direction her fan indicated. Caroline gave a light snort and said to the Count,
“He doesn’t even pretend otherwise anymore. Does he?”
＊＊＊
The summer garden was filled entirely with green. Here and there were bushes blooming with white flowers, and Diane had especially loved those blossoms.
Isaac’s swing had been placed near those white-flowered bushes. Whenever Diane tended the flowers she treasured most, Isaac would climb onto that swing and, instead of swinging vigorously back and forth, would spin in place to relieve his boredom.
The swing that had, when he last saw it, clearly had one rope snapped, had been neatly repaired. No, it had been made anew altogether.
Isaac stared a little blankly at the new swing, larger and sturdier to match its owner’s growth, and at Sasha sitting on it.
“I think the ropes are too long.”
Sasha said it the moment she saw Isaac.
“Even when I sit on it, my feet touch the ground. If you sit, they’ll have far too much slack.”
“It’s a swing I don’t even ride anymore anyway. Do you think I’d play on a swing at my age?”
At Isaac’s sulky-sounding reply, Sasha lifted her head. Then, seeing him standing there with a face that, contrary to his words, looked as if he might cry, she beckoned to him.
“Come over here. There isn’t any shade there.”
Even after hearing her, Isaac stood without moving, then slowly approached her. Sasha pulled herself back, pushed off with her feet, and then lifted both feet into the air. Whether Isaac came right up beside her or not, Sasha focused on riding the swing that was far too large for her.
“You’re not very good at using your body.”
“Sharp of you. That’s right. I was born uncoordinated. I was originally much worse at dancing than you.”
“Still, you have perseverance and you’re rather clever, so I think you’ll improve quickly. Your shooting has improved quite a bit in just a few days, hasn’t it?”
At Isaac’s praise, Sasha glanced up at him.
“That’s a little embarrassing. Why are you suddenly saying that?”
Like Isaac, Sasha was weak to praise. She had heard plenty of sugary flattery, but she could count on one hand the number of times she had received sincere praise like this. Looking at Sasha’s awkward face, Isaac said calmly,
“You were already busy enough, so why did you waste time on this swing?”
“Just because it didn’t look good left abandoned.”
“Then couldn’t you have just had it disposed of?”
“How could I? It was yours.”
Even if it seemed as though I’d spent this whole week recklessly tearing up and fixing parts of the mansion, I did put thought into everything I did. Sasha spoke as if defending herself.
Isaac looked into the distance for a moment. He hesitated as though thinking it over, then soon turned toward her as if he had made up his mind.
“…Yes. I know. It was all for me, wasn’t it? What I mean is… why did you push yourself so hard? A little more than necessary… you did. As though you were someone with little time left.”
“…”
“As though you were someone who would never come here again.”
Instead of answering, Sasha once again pulled herself back with all her strength. Harder than before.
There was a sound of cutting through the air, and her body surged forward. From the rebound, one shoe she had been wearing loosely flew off and lodged in a bush in the distance.
Without hesitation, Isaac walked toward the bush and thrust his arm inside it. Soon, one black shoe emerged in his hand.
Swaying limply on the seat, Sasha watched him approach and called, “Isaac.”
“You need to feel what it’s like to accept someone’s kindness without suspicion.”
“…”
“Often, from now on.”
Isaac did not reply to Sasha’s words. He caught the rope of the swaying swing to stop it, then, without hesitation, knelt on one knee and lifted one of her feet.
“Miss Grayson.”
“Yes.”
“I know this is an impertinent question.”
Isaac cupped her small foot and put the shoe on for her, asking the rest.
“…When the contract ends, where will you go?”
This time as well, instead of answering right away, Sasha tightened her grip on the swing rope and drew her body slightly back. But because Isaac was holding one rope firmly, only the side where she held the other rope twisted and swayed weakly.
Her balance broke, and her body tipped backward. Before she could fall, Isaac’s other hand reached out and wrapped around her waist. Holding her there, he gripped her as if fixing her in place so she had to look straight at him.
“Why do you ask all of a sudden?”
Instead of answering honestly, Sasha smiled slyly and asked him.
“…I was just curious. Even after the contract ends, we…”
At Isaac’s following words, the formal smile that had filled her face faded.
Sasha soon laughed like a sigh, as if she were dumbfounded. Then she said,
“…Why are you making that face?”
Before Isaac could answer, Sasha took a handkerchief from her breast and wiped away the beads of sweat gathered around his forehead. For no particular reason, she also rubbed once at the space around his brows, which were furrowed tight with tension.
“I haven’t given you any answer yet.”
Why did he already look so hurt?
Sasha’s words could not continue. Over her small hand holding the handkerchief, Isaac placed his large hand and clasped it as though covering hers.
Creak. As Isaac leaned toward her, the rope hanging from the thick tree branch made a precarious sound. Isaac did not even glance at it and looked only at Sasha. Not even realizing that he had drawn almost oppressively close to her, he was simply busy gazing at her face right before his eyes.
Sasha blinked quietly at the familiar sensation. As if someone had stuffed water-soaked cotton into her ears, she could not hear a thing. The sound of the insects that had been noisily chirping nearby.
Not at all.
“…Because.”
…Not at all.
His blue eyes were right before her. Their noses touched before their foreheads could.
Isaac tilted his head slightly, as if to say that now, having experienced it once, he knew.
“…Because.”
With their lips touching, Isaac murmured softly.
Isaac’s words, too, could not continue.
Their lips met and pressed softly together.
Once more, this time he pushed his lips out slightly and kissed her again, as though stamping a seal upon her lips.
“…”
“…”
His other hand, which had been holding the swing rope, lowered and cupped her cheek. Isaac looked at her face, which no longer wore any kind of smile.
He looked at her face, which somehow seemed as though it might cry.
…Did I look like that, too?
Who knew. Right now, more than that.
Sasha, who had been looking at him with a face that seemed filled with an inexplicable sorrow, soon closed her eyes.
With a trembling hand, Isaac cupped her cheek and well around to the back of her neck. Isaac tilted his head again and kissed her more deeply than before.