Episode 19.
‘Well. He is cute.’
It was quite cute how they erected a barrier around themselves just for the two of them, exchanging lovey-dovey words. Perhaps that was why Dowun from his childhood came to mind. The Dowun of those days had no side effects from guiding yet, so he was very cute. The child gradually recovering his energy and smiling brightly had been truly lovely.
Though he had gradually lost his smile due to the side effects that appeared as he grew older. So she had no idea how many years it had been since seeing such a happy expression on his face.
“Guide Seoyul is truly amazing.”
The youngest researcher nodded in admiration.
“Yul made a person.”
To think things would resolve this quickly. Given Dowun’s personality, she had worried he might not realize his own feelings and kick up a huge fuss, but it had been a needless worry. To think he would change into a toothless tiger this quickly.
She didn’t know what Seoyul thought of Dowun, but the fact that they would grow closer was certain. Then the guiding efficiency would gradually increase as well, and things would return to a normal trajectory.
‘What a relief.’
Seonjeong smiled, thinking that their hard work until now had been worthwhile.
However, Dowun’s condition wasn’t entirely good. To Seoyul he was a soft persimmon, but to others, he had become an even fiercer lynx.
“You… you could kill a person with your eyes alone.”
“…What about me.”
He seemed to be aware of it himself. Judging by how belatedly the words came out.
“Huh? Really?”
“I told you, didn’t I? That’s why I’m saying…”
Before his eyes, Seoyul was chatting pleasantly with one terribly oblivious researcher. It was the result of gradually building a rapport while helping with work. Now Seoyul could always converse pleasantly with the researchers. That was a small happiness for him, and anyone who saw him could feel it.
The fact that he liked people so much.
“If you keep your eyes open like that, Yul will run away.”
“….”
Only then did Dowun cover his fiercely glaring eyes with his hand, pressing down firmly.
“Ah… why am I so annoyed.”
…Let me correct that. It seemed he was unaware after all. The reason he couldn’t act on his annoyance.
“Hmm.”
“…Say it if you have something to say.”
Dowun spoke bluntly. Even so, his gaze remained fixed on Seoyul.
“No. It’s just fascinating.”
“What’s fascinating?”
Dowun knew nothing good would come out of her mouth. Wasn’t she always thinking about how to tease him more? The kindness that came from Seonjeong was all Seoyul’s, and everything else was his own. Yet the reason he asked was because she, of all people, would tell him accurately with the most objective gaze. She never conveyed falsehoods in any situation. Call it something like her conviction?
So Dowun wanted to ask. Why the emotion that had been soaring with happiness when he saw Seoyul these past few days had plunged to the bottom in an instant.
“Do you know what jealousy is?”
“….”
“You’re jealous.”
“….”
“Are you listening? Hey.”
Seonjeong waved her hand before Dowun’s blank eyes without a word. But his focus didn’t return at all.
Well, no wonder…
‘Jeal… ousy? Me, jealous?!’
Dowun knew. How petty and pathetic an Esper consumed by jealousy looked. The sight of being unable to judge situations properly and getting angry at the Guide, forcing things while prioritizing only their own emotions, obsessing over trivial matters and eventually begging pathetically. Eventually, when those things piled up and up, the Guide would say to the Esper:
‘I’m sick of it, so let’s stop.’
‘Gasp.’
Dowun ended up imagining Seoyul saying those words to him. Just imagining it made his vision spin and go dark. It was an emotion that must never be found out. Moreover, that scene was a sight that was awkward to even complain about. Seoyul was simply conversing with a colleague he had grown close to. Dowun couldn’t understand why it was so fun, but happy energy radiated off him in waves.
‘So that’s why I’m acting like this…’
Dowun realized his own state. He was jealous. Of everything approaching Seoyul. He wanted to monopolize him, wanted to make him look only at him. But it was only a thought. Because…
‘Because Seoyul wants that.’
That’s right. Seoyul wanted it. Dowun didn’t like it, but Seoyul wanted it. So no matter how much he disliked it, no matter how annoyed he got, he didn’t say a word and just curled up in a corner.
‘Wow. A person…’
Can a person change this much?
He thought it was too drastic a change even by his own assessment. Until now, he had lived speaking out whenever he was annoyed or angry. But to change so drastically in an instant.
“Do you get it now?”
Seonjeong was sneering mockingly beside him. Then again, veins popped on his head.
“Shut up.”
But his kindness was limited solely to Seoyul. He didn’t care what others thought.
‘Right. I just need Seoyul to think that.’
How to handle this petty and dangerous emotion going forward, Dowun’s head began to spin busily.
* * *
‘Hmm. Why is the Esper acting like this all of a sudden?’
The suggestion to work together with Dowun had been successful. But perhaps it had been too successful.
“Where are you going?”
“Huh? Ah. To Team 3. I need to deliver this.”
“Really? Then I’ll go with you.”
“Huh? Together?”
“Why? Can’t I?”
“Ah. It’s not that you can’t…”
Do you have to…?
Team 3’s lab wasn’t far, and the item wasn’t very heavy. But Dowun always tagged along whenever Seoyul went somewhere. He had carried half of the documents that weren’t even heavy, and clung to him offering help whenever he was doing something.
That wasn’t all. Instances of asking for help claiming he didn’t understand had increased. At first he hadn’t felt anything strange, but through the repeated behavior, Seoyul realized Dowun was doing it on purpose.
“Seoyul. I don’t get this. Tell me.”
“Huh? I explained this a short while ago.”
“…I forgot. Do it again.”
Perhaps Dowun was embarrassed too, as his answer came a bit late. Seoyul smiled at the awkward lie and explained again. But Dowun said shamelessly with a face that didn’t understand again:
“I don’t really get it. Can’t we do it together?”
Claiming he didn’t understand—saying that he couldn’t stick a post-it was strange. So Seoyul couldn help but notice. The fact that his interest wasn’t in the work but in Seoyul himself.
‘Is it that being close makes energy absorption work a little better?’
Seoyul guessed the most convincing reason he could think of and smiled. Because otherwise there was no explaining this behavior… And because that sight looked quite cute.
Dowun sometimes stared blankly into space, but whenever their eyes met, he would startle and fluster about. Seoyul knew the reason was his guiding. Unlike C-grade energy, S-grade energy didn’t settle well, so his expression often relaxed.
‘If that’s the case, I should stay by his side.’
Working with him was fun, and if being together helped, Seoyul was willing to stay by his side as much as needed. That was why he didn’t notice. The fact that there was one more reason for Dowun’s behavior.
“How many minutes did I talk to Guide Seo?”
“Three minutes.”
“…Am I going to die now?”
The youngest researcher approached Seonjeong with a whining voice. Seonjeong let out a snicker at that sight. And no wonder—Dowun’s behavior had changed noticeably lately. He didn’t interfere when Seoyul talked about work, but the moment personal talk lengthened even slightly, he would steal Seoyul away like a blade. And he threw terrifying gazes at the other party, telling them not to approach his Guide anymore.
How menacing that sight was.
Those who had known Dowun for a long time just laughed it off, but the youngest researcher still seemed scared.
“I end up talking to Guide Seo often; am I going to get taken out like this?”
“Surely not. Still, it would be best to be careful.”
“Ah, Chief-nim…”
The youngest clung to her, whining and asking her to do something. But that wasn’t something she could fix. An Esper’s unique obsession with their Guide. If it crossed the line, she would have stopped him first. But Dowun kept that line with uncanny precision.
‘Is it Esper instinct?’
How sensitive he was to his Guide’s emotions. Dowun acted while judging with uncanny precision what was acceptable and what wasn’t. Cha Dowun observing one person’s emotions so minutely. Seonjeong giggled, saying she had seen all sorts of sights lately.
“Guide Seo. Let’s have lunch togeth— eek!”
Of course, there were still clueless people, so he seemed to be suffering a bit.
* * *
“…Is it okay to have lunch with just me?”
Dowun asked slightly anxiously. Thanks to having been on guard until now, the lab people had been considerably driven off. Driven off… the wording sounded a bit strange. It was closer to saying they were understanding of him. He knew that too, but he was fine with it because it was all the better. But there was one person who completely failed to notice and kept trying to show excessive kindness, which grated on him.
‘Because of that guy, I’m going to get found out.’
Seoyul was already scared of rough words and actions. He couldn’t completely suppress his personality, so he was moderating himself. But because of that guy, there had been more than one or two close calls of being found out. This time had been close too. Lunch with someone other than Seonjeong. Wasn’t that a topic that would pique Seoyul’s interest, since he liked people?
“I’d like to eat with others if possible, but right now I like eating with the Esper more.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Us eating together helps more with guiding, after all.”
“….”
It wasn’t a wholly satisfying answer, but he thought he should be satisfied with this much for now. He felt he had become a somewhat selfish bastard, but he didn’t want to share the time he spent with Seoyul right now.
‘We only have two hours together as it is.’
Since Seoyul spent the rest of his time either at the lab or the dorms, the time they could spend together was too little. So he wanted them to spend lunchtime together at least.
But it seemed heaven had no intention of granting Dowun’s wish.