Smooth Sailing After Divorce: Episode 3
Episode 3: The Truth Behind the Regression (2)
“Bongjin, you’d better brace yourself.”
Dongho clenches a cigarette between his teeth and glances sideways. He’s as relaxed as ever, but the guy seems somewhat deflated.
It must be because he hadn’t expected the aftermath of that day to be this severe.
He can’t bring himself to say it, but the attitude that used to be consistently teasing had done a complete one-eighty long ago.
“I’m the same as ever. Anyway, thanks, Dongho.”
“What’s there to thank? I feel like I’m sitting on a bed of nails because I pushed you into this.”
“You pulled me out of the abyss. And lent me your place.”
“No, well, it’s just that no one lives at my house… More importantly, your heart…”
“I’m fine.”
Dongho’s disgruntled expression flashes past. The cigarette smoke rushing into my nostrils emits a foul stench.
“Yeah, well, that’s a relief then.”
Even after stubbing out his cigarette, Dongho remained here for a while.
I suppose both Dongho and I feel the same suffocation in our chests. With me inside the house, and also me outside. He must be feeling annoyed yet worried.
It is bitter, but it can’t be helped. Letting out a long sigh, I gaze at the distant sky.
However, contrary to his worries, I’m truly fine. To a surprising degree.
Anger, sadness, shock. I don’t feel any emotion. If this is a problem, then it is a problem. In my empty heart, the desire to quit everything was overwhelming. A daily life where I go to work just to survive, without any motivation or feeling.
If there is one thing that has improved, it’s that I don’t have to see my wife and the cuckoo anymore since that day.
The reason I moved into Dongho’s house was because of my great mistake.
The greatest mistake of Kim Bongjin, you dumbass sucker’s life—no, the second greatest mistake. Of course, the first was marriage.
“Sigh… If only it wasn’t under joint ownership, I would’ve told her to get out.”
“You would have.”
That damned joint ownership.
It was an apartment worth seven hundred million won with ten years of installments remaining. Debt that would be hard to handle even on a major corporation’s salary.
That damned debt was also the cause of our discord. Because paying off the loan meant our disposable income would inevitably shrink.
Because of my wife, who insisted on an owned apartment, I had gotten a small apartment in Dongtan. If not for her job, she would have insisted on Seoul, of course.
Since our savings were insufficient, we took out a loan, and Mother sold her house too.
For the time being, I had no face to show my mother, but the one and only comfort I could take was the child born less than a year after marriage.
The fact that he didn’t look much like me… of course, it was a bit unsettling. But the self-suggestion that he was my bloodline gave me inexhaustible strength.
Mother also changed her mind upon seeing the grandson she had dreamed of.
Thanks to that, my wife—no, Go Minju—who hadn’t contributed a single penny, acted with her nose in the air, completely full of herself.
As if giving birth to the baby she had wanted so badly made her the master of the household.
Thinking back now, it is an absurd situation. A hollow laugh slips out.
* * *
The divorce proceedings flowed smoothly. I submitted the paternity test results, evidence of asset formation, and finished giving my face-to-face statement.
Property division was an issue, but either way, not having to bear child support payments made things considerably better. Now all that remained was the deliberation period.
The end of the terrible three years was in sight.
I had blocked her number from the start, so there was no chance of contact.
My empty heart remained the same; I didn’t feel like meeting anyone. The extent of my socializing was the occasional drinking session with Dongho.
[Ding-dong.]
“Who is it? I’m sure Dongho said he was going to his mom’s house.”
A foreboding premonition surges.
“It’s me.”
Foreboding premonitions always come true. How did she know this place? Before my eyes stands Go Minju, looking haggard.
“Could we talk… just for a moment?”
It was a situation that was ending anyway. There was no intention to turn back now, nor any lawsuit to overturn.
Minju and I, who had been keeping silent, avert our gazes without any particular reason.
We sit on the swings in a quiet playground and look in different directions for a long time.
“A breakup trip?”
“Yeah, I would never say… to turn back or think again. Since we’ll be over once the deliberation period passes anyway. So…”
“But.”
“I won’t force you. If you change your mind, tell me. Sorry… for taking your time… I just really wanted to tell you this. Since I can’t call or message…”
Minju trails off. She has already gotten up from the swing. And before long, she leaves without even giving me a chance to respond. As if she isn’t even expecting anything.
At first, I had cynical thoughts. I wondered if she couldn’t kick her habit of vanity and was harping on about a trip until the end.
But Minju’s eyes, so haggard—perhaps even emptier than mine—move my heart.
Like a fool, I unblock her, and we meet again. At some valley in northern Gyeonggi-do.
Looking back, it had really been a long time since our last trip. A real couple’s trip, different from the countless overseas trips we had taken since before marriage. The warm Minju I had only felt in the early days of dating.
Minju had changed, as if she were someone preparing for the very end. She silently sits beside me, peels fruit, cooks, and washes dishes.
“I’ll pay.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll pay. I really want to pay. Let me do this.”
“…Okay.”
I watch blankly as Minju pays. The sight of her calmly taking out her wallet and meticulously counting out bills one by one with her small fingers to hand to the baeksuk restaurant owner.
How long has it been? Minju doing something for me.
It would be natural for lovers, but in our inherently unequal relationship, it had been impossible.
If my heart softened over just this much, it would be even more laughable, but it is certainly new.
Had Minju ever had such a side? Had there ever been a moment she showed me such warmth?
“To someone, she was free. The woman you won by devoting your youth and effort.”
Dongho suddenly comes to mind. That twisted bastard.
But had his words ever been wrong? They might be wrong to someone.
The problem is that the object of that negative prediction is me.
A sigh escapes at the bitterness.
Having leisurely finished our meal, we move upstream where the water volume is plentiful. According to Minju, it is a nature reserve, so there are no stalls, making it better.
We had only gone a little further up, but truly, as the saying goes, people become sparse. Was it because there are multiple paths? In any case, from the standpoint of playing around, it isn’t bad.
“It’s only three o’clock.”
The sun is still high in the sky. Though we had avoided peak season, the August summer sun is scorching.
We play excitedly for the first time in a while. As if nothing had ever happened. I wear a life jacket, and Minju holds onto a tube.
There is still little talk, but it isn’t awkward. We just naturally splash around. A few times, our bodies subtly touch and part.
How nice would it have been if we had always lived like this.
Memories of feeling as comfortable with Minju as I do now… sadly, I can’t recall any now.
After splashing around for about an hour, we finally climb onto a large rock right beside us.
Minju lays out a mat and takes out fruits to peel. An unmistakable date—no, a married couple’s picnic. The problem is that it’s a last picnic.
“Oppa.”
It is Minju who breaks the silence. When I turn my head, a beautifully sliced apple is already sitting on a paper plate.
“…What?”
“I’ll be blunt. The apartment. Transfer it to me.”
“What?”
For a moment, I wonder if my ears are failing me. No, not my ears—this scene, this moment.
“I’m asking for the apartment. I quit my job because of you and sacrificed three years. If I don’t even get that apartment, I really can’t live. Even though he’s not your child, think of the bond from raising him and concede. I’m begging you.”
“How… how can you say that.”
My mind seems to stop at this utterly unexpected logic.
There is much I want to say, but my dazed mind keeps them swirling inside my mouth. Minju doesn’t miss the opening and presses on.
“Think about it logically. If not for you, there were plenty of men who could have just given me a house. But I compromised because I saw your character. Now, with the divorce and my age, how am I supposed to live? Do you know how selfish you’re being?”
Me… selfish?
“Let’s stop this.”
“Stop what? Since I’m here, I’ll say everything. You know what? I was sick and tired of you too because of you. The boyfriends I had before were all better-looking, richer, and more capable than you. Do you know how many times I felt self-loathing for meeting a man with a pot belly, ugly face, and no ability like you, wondering why my life fell so low? My friends Minji and Juhee. They all married doctors, businessmen…”
I feel like I’ll lose my mind if I hear more. But Minju doesn’t stop.
The more my expression hardens, the more it seems like blood will pour from my ears, and the more excited Minju seems to get. As if she had built up to this very moment.
“To speak frankly, what did your family even do for our wedding?”
“My mother sold her house because of the apartment, and you’re saying that…”
“That measly 20-pyeong apartment? Ha… truly a grand gesture. I wasn’t going to say this, but do you know how much my family opposed us at first? They said you were from a single-parent family, how much of a thug could a man raised without a father be!”
“Hey, Go Minju! How can you talk like that? You… don’t you know my mother fell ill because of you? She wasn’t well to begin with, and after moving, she suffered from being separated from her hometown friends and elders. How… how can you…”
“My goodness, why are you telling me that?”
“What?”
“She’s your mother, not mine.”
I can’t listen anymore. I spring up from my seat. Because if I don’t leave right away, I feel like I’ll do something terrible.
“Oppa, I’ll ask you one last time.”
“Forget it. I have nothing to say to you.”
“You’re really not giving me the apartment?”
“That’s right, you fucking bitch.”
“Tch… You’re so fucking stubborn. Worthless bastard.”
“I’m leaving.”
“Yeah, go well. To hell.”
I turn and leave. She is all talk, a woman who can’t do anything alone. I leave without looking back. No, to be exact, I try to leave.
“Wow, you’re a bit rough with your words, mister.”
“Who are you?”
A robust physique and a manly, sunburned face. And a somewhat familiar appearance.
“Mr. Yang Geumtae?”
“Oh, you remember me? Wow, it’s truly a shame, isn’t it? Meeting in a place like this.”
I remember. He was an instructor at the swimming pool Minju went to. I had happened to see them together when picking her up.
My wife said there was nothing between them, but I had felt somewhat uneasy. But then, there were many men like that.
“Sorry, but I have no intention of talking with you. I’ll be going.”
“Come on, you were spouting all sorts of nonsense with my name at court. It hurts to see you act like this now.”
Yang Geumtae. That’s right. I wouldn’t have run into him at court. He was someone I only encountered as a defendant on the alimony claim lawsuit list. But if that guy had gone out of his way to show up here…
“See, you should have listened to me? I didn’t want to go this far. Why do you have to make me the bad guy, you selfish bastard. Sorry, but I’ll put your life insurance to good use. If you had given me the apartment, I wouldn’t have touched that, but you brought this all on yourself, you retard.”
I want to hurl ridicule at my own stupid self. Why didn’t I think of this, why. And life insurance? How did they?
While my focus is scattered by rage, Yang Geumtae rushes in and a brief scuffle ensues. I resist with all my might, but overpowered in strength, I am gradually pushed back.
Had he said he was with the maritime rescue team? Meanwhile, I am an office worker who doesn’t even have time to exercise. It is a match that couldn’t be fought from the start. Moreover, there are two of them, and one of me.
I struggle desperately, but it is no use. The bastard skillfully grabs both my arms and shoves my abdomen with his shoulder.
Pushed and pushed back, the moment I finally reach the cliff.
[Splash.]
I desperately grab hold of him.
Even falling upside down, even suffocating, my passion to survive remains. But the guy seems determined from the start. I thrash with all my might. On the contrary, he is calm.
Could it be… is he deliberately holding his breath? Until I lose strength?
If he is good at swimming, it is a possible scenario. He could hold it for at least a minute. I am someone who can’t even swim properly.
Disgusting, but it seems these bastards’ strategy has hit its mark.
My mind gradually grows hazy. At the same time, strength begins to leave my arms holding him. It feels like not even a minute has passed.
Now he moves. Shaking me off with great force, he pushes off my chest with both feet, using me as a foothold, and surges upward.
Pushed by the reaction, I gradually fall downward. I seem to have already swallowed too much water.
So I can open my eyes underwater. Because of the pointlessly clear water, I seem to see the figures above the surface too.
It feels like I am going crazy from agony, but I can see clearly. Yang Geumtae heading to the stream. A blurry figure looking down at me from atop the rock. Go Minju, that bitch.
[Gurgle.]
Unable to even curse properly, I fall. My consciousness falls too.
* * *
“Kihkihkihk. Retard, idiot, moron, loser, pushover, imbecile.”
What is this? Could it have been a dream?
“Loser~ loser~ A dream? You and your delusions. An incompetent bastard who bites and dies even when it’s dangled right in front of him. A retard whose head is just decoration, missing opportunities even when he has them. A bastard better off dead. Loser.”
Whatever it is, it is an unpleasant sound. Judging by the voice, it seems like a child.
“Loser retard. A scaredy-cat coward pretending not to hear because you’re scared, loser.”
“Hey, are you talking to me right n… huh?!”
“Kihkih, you’re finally awake. Anyway, a loser, retard, pathetic worm who sleeps sprawled out without even knowing his life is over.”
I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know what’s going on, but I am fairly certain of one thing now.
This voice is definitely cursing at me. This girl right in front of me.
Wait, a girl?
“Huh… who…”
A young girl full of contempt. Has she even graduated elementary school? Though young, the aura emanating from her fierce, spiteful expression is hardly that of a child. A girl with red hair spouting rude words.
And this after dying? Just what kind of situation is this.