Episode 4
My heart pounded violently for a moment, as if startled. The unexpected encounter with Rakein was enough to throw me into confusion.
‘Why is he here now?’
It was not yet time to meet him.
In the past, I had first met him quite some time after my ability manifested.
When he, who bore the epithet the Sword of Keuroijen, became my escort knight instead of my older half-sister’s, how my heart had fluttered.
I had even shed tears of emotion, as though I had finally been recognized as the family’s successor.
Thinking back now, those had been terribly regrettable tears.
He had been a tool to watch me, and powerful shackles placed to bind me lest I try to escape.
I learned the truth a little over half a year after he became my escort knight.
While taking a walk through the garden, I happened to overhear a conversation between him and my older half-sister.
He had been reporting everything to her—where I had gone, who I had met, what words we had exchanged.
Foolish as I was then, I had thought it was my older half-sister’s consideration for me, who knew nothing. I convinced myself that she had done so to protect me if I made a mistake.
As if, otherwise, the happiness that had come to me like good fortune would all disappear.
Even so, I had bared my teeth at Rakein.
It was likely because of the sense of betrayal that the person I had first believed to be mine was, in truth, my older half-sister’s man.
From then on, I began keeping my distance from him.
I spared my words and was careful in my conduct before him. I tried as much as possible to keep him from knowing my thoughts or my heart.
I do not know whether he noticed that change in me. He was not a man who showed his emotions.
He spoke only when absolutely necessary, and even then with terrible brevity, so reading his thoughts had been impossible.
If I had not seen the deep emotion swimming in his red eyes that night as he gripped my arm, I might have continued to think him a man devoid of feeling.
I could not tell what kind of emotion it was, but I could at least feel that hot blood flowed through his body.
And…
When memories of sinking into the abyss came to mind, I bit my lower lip without realizing it.
[Who will you use this on?]
When I heard that question, why had Rakein’s image come to mind?
If it had not been so, there would have been no reason for me to be shaken like this now. I could have faced him with a heart grown cold.
Meeting the only person capable of drawing a reaction from me, my remaining emotions wavered like waves, if only slightly.
But the Rakein standing before me now was not the Rakein who had tried to save me. He was the one who took my sister’s orders and watched me.
Recalling that fact, my wavering emotions instantly chilled and sank deep into my chest.
“I am out with the Countess’s permission. Is there a problem, Sir Knight?”
Pretending not to know him, the voice that left my lips was terribly stiff even to my own ears. I suspected my expression was likely the same.
But it did not matter. There was no need to leave a good impression on the man of the woman who was my enemy and my nemesis, was there?
At my frosty reply, Rakein stared at me quietly.
For an instant, a pained look seemed to rise in his red eyes, but I thought it a delusion.
Because when I blinked in surprise, his gaze was as devoid of feeling as ever.
“I asked only because it seemed dangerous for a young lady to go out alone. I apologize if I gave offense.”
Listening to his words, a sudden question occurred to me.
How does he know me?
The first time he met me was supposed to be the day he was appointed as my escort knight.
Of course, he might have known my name. Anyone employed by House Keuroijen could hardly be unaware.
But there was no way he could have seen me, having spent most of my time indoors and only going to deserted places even when I went out for walks.
Besides, I was dressed as a boy right now.
“But how do you know me, Sir Knight? Have we met before?”
The question flew straight to him.
While waiting for an answer, I scrutinized his eyes and expression carefully, wondering if perhaps he was hiding something.
But I could find nothing in him as he replied.
“I merely heard you speaking to Count Tepeuran earlier. And….”
Suddenly, Rakein strode up to me.
Gazing down at me, my body stiffening slightly with tension, he lifted my right hand. It was an exceedingly careful gesture, as though touching fragile porcelain.
“W-what are you—?!”
Soaked in bewilderment, I had opened my mouth urgently, only to freeze like stone.
His head bowed, and his lips descended upon the back of my hand.
“My greeting is late. I am Rakein Hekeuseu.”
Finishing the kiss, he raised his head and met my eyes, pronouncing his own name syllable by syllable with force.
It was an act as though trying to etch his name into my mind.
I bit my lower lip slightly without realizing it.
The back of my hand where his lips had touched felt burning hot, as if scorched by fire.
I quickly withdrew my hand from his and stepped back, but the emotions I had kept suppressed were already trembling.
This is not good….
I judged it so. I had to get away from this place, away from him, and quickly.
“…I am Hereuna Keuroijen. Then farewell, Sir Hekeuseu.”
Suppressing my emotions as much as possible, I replied curtly and turned my body in the opposite direction from where he stood.
Whether that path led to the village or not was of no importance now. It was more urgent to seize and suppress the emotions I had let slip.
Walking quickly, I kept my senses keen behind me lest he follow.
Fortunately, he did not seem to be coming after me.
“Haah….”
My tensed body relaxed, and my steps slowed.
As my emotions settled, I felt foolish. Why had I run away as if fleeing from him?
Seeing the long road stretching ahead, another sigh escaped me.
How foolish, not even knowing where I was going…. I should have at least asked which way the village was….
My dragging steps finally stopped.
As I looked around to see if there was a passerby, I heard the sound of horse hooves from behind.
Delighted that I had found someone to ask for directions, I turned with a bright smile without realizing it. But the moment I saw the person approaching on horseback, the smile vanished from my face as if washed away.
It was Rakein, driving his horse toward me.
‘Why has he appeared before me again? Did the Countess or my older half-sister already order him to watch me?’
Unable to fathom his intentions, my head grew muddled with various thoughts.
In that time, he rode straight up, reined in his horse, and lightly dismounted. Then he extended his hand to me.
“I shall escort you to your destination.”
“….”
Seeing the hand he offered, I recalled his hand that had gripped my arm so tightly it hurt that night.
If only this hand were that hand from then….
I might have taken it then. But not now.
“It seems Sir Hekeuseu did not hear the Countess’s orders.”
I deliberately twisted my lips and spoke as sarcastically as possible.
Perhaps his mood soured at my attitude; I felt his gaze dim, but I ignored it and continued.
“The Countess ordered a carriage for me….”
“She ordered not to provide a carriage. But I have never heard an order regarding a horse, my lady.”
“….”
His gentle voice cutting into my words left me speechless.
He was not wrong. The Countess had only mentioned the carriage, not the horse.
But that did not mean I had the slightest intention of riding with him.
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I must decline, Sir Hekeuseu. Just tell me the direction to the village.”
I turned away from his offered hand and spat out the words coldly.
I felt him look down at his empty hand for a moment before withdrawing it.
Though I thought it natural he would feel displeased after being rejected by a mere bastard child, my chest ached strangely, and I clenched both fists.
‘He will leave now.’
As I turned away from him, wishing he would quickly pass by.
His voice rang out quietly above my head. It carried something I had never expected.
“I do not know which direction the village is either. But my horse might. I have been there a few times, after all.”
“Pardon?”
I doubted my ears.
He was talking in circles, saying that I had to ride the horse for him to tell me the direction to the village.
A sudden question arose: had he always been this tenacious?
The man I remembered had been indifferent to everything but the sword. My older half-sister had always said he treated money, power, and women no differently than lumps of rock.
‘What is this? Are there things that have changed since I returned to the past?’
Anxiety surged up suddenly along with worry.
What if the past I know is different? What if it becomes impossible to prepare in advance?
At the same time, another thought occurred to me.
Perhaps this situation had been created because I was moving differently from the past.
Resolving to watch a little longer, I tried to calm my chaotic mind, but it did not settle completely.
As I worried over what to do, nibbling my lower lip, my gaze turned to Rakein, who was waiting for an answer.
Why? Why had I suddenly wanted to test him?
I had grown curious whether the hand he offered now was born of pure goodwill or my older half-sister’s orders.
The method to find out was simple.
“If the horse knows the way, I have no choice. Will you give me a ride?”
I, who had refused his hand, extended mine first this time. Then I saw Rakein’s lips soften gently.
Only then did I realize he had been just as nervous as I was.
At the same time, doubt surged once more.
Why? What had he been nervous about?
Lost in thought, I did not notice his two hands grip my waist.
By the time I realized, my body had already been lifted high into the air.
“Excuse me for a moment.”
To lift someone up and then ask for pardon….
So absurd was it that I could only open and close my mouth wordlessly, and in that time, my body had already been set upon the horse.
I felt him climb up behind me, a slight distance away.
“….”
It being my first time on a horse, I did not know where to hold.
Grabbing the mane seemed like it would hurt the horse, and holding the reins felt like something I should not do.
As I looked around, thinking I needed to steady myself somehow, his voice rang low by my ear.
“We depart.”
As he set the horse in motion, my worries vanished in an instant.
For two hands reaching from behind seized the reins, and my body was trapped within his solid arms.