Episode 3
Looking at the face of my detestable half-sister, Biat, brought back the memory of attending a ball with her.
It had been the day I revealed my existence to the world for the first time after my power manifested.
I had been afraid of how people would receive my title as an illegitimate child, but it was also a day when I held hope that I could finally leave the shadows and step into the light.
How excited I had been when I wore a dress made to fit my body and my face for the first time, and had my hair adorned.
Clutching my chest, which felt as if it might burst from the mixture of fear and anticipation, I had taken my first step into a place called a ball.
And after that day, I never attended any event again.
I still remembered how Biat had introduced me to the people who approached.
“I’m sure you know even without my telling you. This is my half-sister, Herna. I thought it was about time we found her a suitable match, so I brought her along.”
Without even realizing the mockery and contempt hidden in her words, I had simply stood beside her, smiling brightly.
Because I wanted to make a good impression on people.
I smiled so hard that the corners of my mouth trembled, but all that returned to me were whispers like daggers.
“Oh my, just as Lady Croizen said, she must have come to seduce men. Look at how wantonly she’s smiling.”
“Blood will tell, won’t it? I heard her mother was quite the beauty. They say Marquis Croizen was so infatuated with her that he lost his senses.”
“I heard he searched for that woman until the day he died. Seeing the daughter, I can understand why.”
No matter where I went, all they spoke of was my half-tainted blood.
People only spoke to my sister; they did not speak to me. There were also many young ladies who openly cast contemptuous and mocking gazes at me.
In the end, I fled from the whispers and hid away in a corner of the ballroom.
Thinking about it now, it had been a truly exquisite introduction for shoving me into the mud.
She had emphasized that I was her half-sister, making everyone aware that I was illegitimate, and by saying she had brought me to find a match, she made them think I had come to bewitch men.
Ignorant Herna, foolish Herna, stupid Herna.
As the image of my past self came to mind—the girl who had not even known she was being played by her half-sister’s schemes, and had only resented her own lot of being born a bastard—I quickly lowered my head.
It was to hide the expression that was surely tinged with self-mockery. I could not be found out before I had even begun my revenge.
Thinking that I would have to manage my expressions better from now on, I remained quietly with my head lowered, and at last, the marchioness’s voice rang out.
“You’re right, Bia. That child will understand what reality is like once she goes out alone. If you wish, go on out. I’ll tell the butler.”
As though she were bestowing an enormous favor, the marchioness granted me permission for my first outing.
They probably could not even imagine what consequences this small permission would bring them.
Hiding my sneer, I thanked her again and again before leaving the drawing room.
As I listened to the voices of the mother and daughter talking about me as if chewing over some savory snack through the closing door, I twisted my lips.
If you are like this even now, how much must you have wanted to tear me apart during the two years you had to spend with me? You must have sharpened your claws again and again so you could cut off my breath in a single strike.
And in the end, they had succeeded.
But that was a matter of the past. I had not the slightest intention of letting it happen again.
After returning to my room, I hurried to prepare for my outing. If I wanted to return before nightfall, I had to move diligently.
First, I opened the wardrobe and pushed my hand deep into the bottom of it.
If my memory was correct, there should be a set of clothes I had kept from a servant who had caused trouble and been driven out of the mansion early last year.
My fumbling hand found a neatly folded set of clothes and a hat.
A pure white shirt, black trousers, and a neat brown hat. They had belonged to that servant.
As I spread out the clothes and looked down at them, I suddenly recalled the sight of the servant being driven out.
It was not that I had meant to watch.
When I looked out the window at the commotion, I had simply seen the servant being dragged away by knights.
Even from afar, I could tell who he was.
Because there was only one servant in the mansion with hair like shining gold.
He was an extremely handsome young man, and also a servant my sister had been quite fond of.
I had been curious as to why someone like him was being driven out, but there was no one I could ask.
I could only guess, from the fact that all of his belongings were headed for the incineration grounds, that he had been driven out without being allowed to take anything with him.
Was it truly a coincidence that the servant’s belongings, piled in one corner of the incineration grounds to be burned, caught my eye during my walk that evening?
Perhaps it had been inevitable, for this very moment today.
Otherwise, there was no way I would have coveted a man’s clothes and hat, things I would normally never have paid any attention to.
As if possessed by something, I had taken one of the cleanest sets of clothes and one hat for no reason at all and hidden them in my room.
“Inevitable, is it… Then I should make use of it.”
Murmuring softly, I threw off the cumbersome dress I was wearing and picked up the men’s clothes.
I slipped both legs into the trousers and pulled them up, then put on the shirt.
Perhaps because it was my first time wearing such clothes, even fastening the buttons of the trousers and the shirt felt awkward.
Once I had put them on, the biggest problem was that the clothes were far too large for me.
I had thought the servant was not particularly tall, but what one saw with the eyes and what was real were certainly different. The trousers, in particular, kept slipping down even after I buttoned them.
After wondering what to do, I stuffed the loose shirt into the trousers.
Remembering that men wore belts with trousers, I found a dress with a cord at the waist among my dresses and tied the trousers with that cord.
After rolling up the cuffs and hems, I twisted my tied-up hair into the hat, pushed it inside, and pressed the hat down. It did not greatly hinder my movements.
“All done.”
Just in case, I turned my body this way and that and even hopped in place. After confirming that the clothes did not slip down, I stood before the mirror.
The figure reflected between the shards of the broken mirror looked like a village boy who ran errands for noble lords and earned a few coins for it.
As I smiled in satisfaction at the appearance, my eyes caught the glint of a platinum chain at my neck.
When I pulled on the chain, a small, beautiful purple gemstone in the shape of a water droplet appeared, fashioned as a pendant.
According to my father, it was the only item my mother had left me.
A necklace left by my mother…
As I raised my hand and touched the necklace, irritation surged within me.
How dare she leave behind something like a necklace after abandoning her child and leaving?
In the past, I had always worn the necklace around my neck, wondering if perhaps my mother might come looking for me, but now I knew very well that all of it had been useless.
So now, I intended to cast aside any lingering attachment and put it to valuable use.
I tucked the necklace back inside my shirt and quickly left the room.
After walking for quite some time through the vast garden and approaching the main gate, two uniformed knights standing guard blocked my way. They were knights of the family.
The knights looked at me and tilted their heads.
It was only natural. There was no boy dressed like me among the employees of the marquisate.
So I decided to spare them their confusion.
When I took off the hat I was wearing, I felt my tied-up hair fall down with a soft swish.
Seeing my face fully revealed, the knights were startled. I spoke to them quietly.
“I am Herna Croizen. I have received the marchioness’s permission to go out.”
“……!”
The sight of their bewilderment was so amusing. It seemed they were quite flustered to see with their own eyes, right before them, the illegitimate child they had only heard about.
Still, as expected of the marquisate’s knights, they soon regained their composure.
“Please wait a moment. We will open the gate for you at once.”
Perhaps embarrassed, a young knight with brown hair cleared his throat and quickly ran to the main gate to unfasten the locked handle. The other knight helped him as well.
While they opened the gate, I raised my head and looked up at the delicate and splendid main gate made in the form of rose vines.
Others might marvel at its grand and beautiful appearance, but to my eyes, the main gate looked like nothing more than iron bars meant to imprison me.
The moment I thought that, I suddenly felt as if I could not breathe.
“You may leave now.”
My hand, which had been rising to clutch my throat, stopped at the words of the brown-haired knight. Seeing the open gate, the breath that had been blocked in my chest began to flow again.
“Thank you.”
“Um, my lady?”
As I pressed my hat back down and tried to leave through the gate, the brown-haired knight hesitantly called out to me.
Why was he calling me? Was he perhaps trying to stop me from leaving?
When I looked at him tensely, the young knight scratched his head and said,
“Are you sure you do not need me to call a carriage for you?”
“……”
I saw the other knight lightly jab him in the side, but the brown-haired knight paid it no mind and continued to look at me with eyes that genuinely asked if I would be all right.
“……What is your name, Sir Knight?”
Instead of telling him that it was all right, the question that slipped from my mouth surprised even me.
Perhaps it was because no one had ever worried about me without any selfish motive.
The brown-haired knight seemed slightly surprised, but soon answered politely.
“I am Morris Tephran.”
“Sir Tephran, did the butler tell you to call a carriage for me?”
At my question, Sir Tephran’s expression turned troubled.
Of course it would.
The instruction he had received from the butler was surely not to call a carriage for me.
Suddenly, I remembered the maid who had been driven out after nursing me when I was sick.
I did not want something like that to happen again, so I gently advised him.
It was the most I could do for him, who had tried to show me kindness.
“Clumsy sympathy is something that ruins you. Do not do what you cannot bear the consequences of, Sir Tephran.”
“……”
Seeing him struck speechless, I smiled faintly without realizing it.
“Still, I will gratefully accept your intentions, Sir Tephran. Thank you for trying to help me.”
After leaving him with quiet words of thanks, I turned around without waiting for an answer.
I thought I heard Sir Tephran’s voice calling me from behind, but I ignored it. I did not want him to suffer harm because of me.
Because I, as I was now, did not have the strength to protect others—let alone the strength to protect myself.
Once I passed through the main gate, confusion struck me for a moment as to where I should go.
I had thought I would be able to find my way easily because I had looked at the roads while riding in carriages, but it seemed I had overestimated myself.
The scenery around me was more similar than I had expected.
Since I had ignored Sir Tephran’s call and come out, it was awkward to go back, but there seemed to be no other way than to ask for directions.
Letting out a sigh, I turned around, only to freeze in place as if I had turned to stone.
Silver hair that looked as though moonlight from the night sky had been laid upon it, and emotionless red eyes filled my vision.
“Pardon my impertinence, but may I ask where you are going?”
At the quiet, low voice that had, at some point over those two years, become familiar to me, my body flinched.
Rakein Hekheus, called the Sword of Croizen.
He was standing right in front of me.