64.
“Look outside the window, My Lady!”
A servant made a fuss, hoping to lift the spirits of her master, who had been in exceedingly low spirits of late.
“Oh my, he’s still there, truly!”
“Exactly…… The weather has been so sweltering these days……”
The two servants’ gazes turned toward Mariana, who was embroidering inside the room.
Mariana was not looking back at them.
But it was not difficult to notice that she wanted the servants to keep chattering.
“…….”
Because no harsh command to be silent had come flying her way.
The two servants, now confident that this was the right response, quietly exchanged glances.
Due to the unpleasant commotion at the previous ball, the long-time lovers were experiencing a cold war for the first time.
Outside the window stood the Count.
In front of My Lady’s door, gifts sent by the Duke were piled up like a mountain, enough to block the way.
Even so, Mariana could not quell her anger.
The servants thought to themselves.
Perhaps Mariana was overly concerned with “showing” others.
As if afraid her dignity would be damaged if she forgave and accepted Count Carnesion too easily.
From what the servants had heard, it was merely that “Count Carnesion had been dancing and lost track of the timing to switch partners, perhaps because he was thinking of something else,” and yet.
Of course, that was merely a rumor spread in a seemingly moderate direction to spare Mariana’s dignity,
but underneath the surface, probably…….
Mariana’s hand, gripping the embroidery hoop, trembled faintly.
“It seems he truly won’t leave until My Lady forgives him……”
“…….”
The two servants who had been chattering excitedly all shut their mouths as one.
And at the gazes turning back toward her furtively, as if gauging her mood, Mariana had a premonition.
‘Rohinasse has gone back.’
Mariana closed her eyes.
Rohinasse was a perfect man.
As a lover, he was incomparably perfect.
But……
The gifts that were merely things bought by having others purchase them,
the act of standing guard in front of the mansion for about half a day as if to appease her anger,
were far from what Mariana truly wanted.
It was not just today.
Whenever something he absolutely had to do came up, he would turn around without hesitation.
Just as he had not spared a single glance even when Mariana appeared wearing the necklace she had gifted him.
“…….”
A clamorous anxiety burrowed into her heart.
No matter how hard she tried, a sharp needle still pricked her throat.
Though it was the two of them dating, it always felt like three were together.
‘He wasn’t like this with that woman.’
Because of that thought that surged up abruptly.
She could not stop it at all.
‘He was more affectionate with that woman.’
‘He was stubborn with that woman.’
‘He got angry at that woman.’
‘Why me?’
‘Why is he different with me? How come? Why?’
He had no complaints about Mariana.
He did not try to cling to her while saying it was a shame, nor did he endeavor to stay by her side while making absurd excuses.
Neatly and gently, like a man who always did everything for Mariana alone.
He turned around and distanced himself.
In truth, that was not what she wanted.
Even when she told him to get lost, she wanted him to cling to her.
At some point, Mariana realized that Rohinasse had discovered that desire of hers.
Because from that point on, Rohinasse would stand in front of the mansion like that and wait until Mariana’s temper cooled.
Still, she could endure because she had an unwavering belief.
‘Rohinasse chose me, not that woman.’
The times he had loved that woman were all fake.
The man who kept saying he loved her was the “real” one.
……That premise had begun to shake quite recently.
Everything was because of that woman.
With that humiliation and contempt, she had thought that woman would never appear before her eyes again.
Yet she brazenly appeared before people again and showed that shameless face.
‘Like a beast that knows no shame or disgrace.’
Merely insulting her was not enough.
Because she was such a shameless woman.
Then, rather……
Mariana let her thoughts flow unimpeded.
A smile curved her lips.
* * *
“I was beginning to think you had forgotten your promise to me.”
Margaret spoke without looking back at me as I entered the tent.
By now, something like that did not even make me flinch.
Still looking haggard from a hangover that had yet to fade, I pressed my temples and went over to the sofa, plopping down heavily.
“I’ve been busy with one thing or another.”
While I coughed and waved my hand at the dust, Margaret, having finished her work, turned away from the boiling pot.
“It would seem so.”
Removing her thick leather gloves and placing them on the shelf,
she sat on a low single-person sofa and picked up her knitting.
“So, what brings you here?”
I leaned my head back against the sofa and massaged the nape of my neck.
“It’s about the contract-breaking materials.”
“But before that, shouldn’t you first show me your sincerity?”
“……The condition where you asked me to tell you trivial stories, you mean?”
I ran my fingers across my brow and eyebrows and raised my head.
Then, lowering my hand, I asked with my arms loosely crossed.
A sigh escaped me.
“What is it you want to hear from me?”
“What you say is entirely up to you, Baron. I’m sure I told you I would merely listen.”
“…….”
It was an obvious ploy, but……
As it happened, I had something on my mind with nowhere else to unload it.
I hesitated for a moment.
‘Is this really okay?’
There would be nothing more foolish than completely trusting a mage belonging to House Carnesion.
I narrowed my eyes and swept my gaze over Margaret.
Without slowing her knitting, Margaret raised her brows slightly and spoke.
“Wouldn’t I feel rather uncomfortable if you looked an old woman over like that?”
“……My apologies.”
I once again ruffled my disheveled hair and straightened my posture.
“You asked me before, right?”
“Exactly which question are you referring to?”
“……You asked if I was cold-hearted enough to stick with that choice until the end.”
“I did.”
Only then did Margaret turn her head to look at me.
“Have you changed your mind since then?”
“No.”
I lowered my gaze.
“That’s not it, but……”
“Since you’ve started to get it off your chest, you might as well speak freely.”
Margaret resumed her knitting.
Her nonchalant attitude rather made me relax.
“It’s definitely not a big deal. It’s not a big deal, but…… Back then, there was just one person.”
I thought I saw one corner of Margaret’s mouth rise faintly, but I pretended not to notice.
“This time, there are three, so……”
“Is it a headache?”
“Yeah, it’s a headache.”
In the end, I failed to choose my words carefully before speaking.
When I sighed, Margaret summed it up for me.
“Those three have finally noticed one another’s existence, it seems.”
“Probably.”
“Hmm. And so?”
“……And so?”
What I had wanted to say was……
“I’d rather those three not end up gathered in one place.”
As if she had caught on to something, the corners of Margaret’s eyes twitched.
“You believe that will be impossible, Baron?”
“……Yes. I have a feeling. A feeling that things are going to become even more…… even more…… troublesome.”
It had been the same during that heresy incident, but I felt it even more clearly at this party.
An intuition that the things which had remained hidden beneath the surface until now were slowly beginning to reveal themselves, like the tide going out.
Or perhaps, a sense of crisis.
In any case, those people had only been unintentionally swept up in my affairs,
so a certain portion of it was my responsibility as well, and it wasn’t as if I simply hated it or found it unpleasant.
Only.
“When I actually found myself in that situation, I had no idea how to handle it. It was awkward, I suppose…… To be honest, I wish they’d cut me some slack and not do that in front of me.”
“……”
“Haa…… And lately Rohwinas has suddenly been acting strange too. Did he eat something he shouldn’t have? Anyway, I’ve been worrying about all sorts of……”
Margaret let out a brief chuckle.
At that laugh, I stopped the words that had been pouring out.
Our eyes met just like that.
In the end, Margaret put it into words.
“This is…… romantic advice, then.”
“……”
My face burned, but I couldn’t bring myself to deny it.
“To think you would confide such concerns not in a friend your own age, nor in an old servant like family…… but in this old woman.”
“……”
“I am honored, Baron.”
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Oh my, how could I dare?”
Margaret gave a shrug.
“……”
To be honest, it did feel relieving to have told someone, anyone.
I had been anxious all along that my desire not to make even the slightest mistake might actually be making the situation worse.
I also had the goal of deceiving the pervert’s eyes, and at first, I had thought lightly of them as people who would only stay for a while before leaving anyway.
So when I understood their situation, I thought it would be enough to simply accommodate them in moderation until I could make them take the antidote.
But as time passed.
I began to wonder.
No matter how false an affection it was, bound by a set deadline……
the fact that they were spending their time and attention on me every single day was real.
So what if, before drinking the antidote, they ended up doing something irreversible?
From the day they became aware of one another’s existence, once I realized that it was affecting them in some way, I……
“Baron, are you searching for a path where no one gets hurt?”
“It’s not like that.”
“There is no such path. Though I’m sure you already know that very well.”
I did not answer.
I knew it too. There would be no second mistake in my life.
There had to be none.