63.
It had been raining since dawn that day.
Perhaps because she had been ill for so long, the woman always had trouble opening her eyes in the morning.
All the more so on mornings when dark clouds blocked out the sunlight.
So he walked over without worry and sat down at the edge of the woman’s bed.
In the room, where the scent of rain had settled, drowsy breathing drifted slowly through the air.
As if listening to sweet music, he lowered his head and savored that breathing.
The face of his lover, still drunk on sleep, unaware that someone was looking down at her...
It was a kind of mystery.
Perhaps life was this radiant.
He realized it as he looked at the woman.
He was certain he would never tire of gazing at her all day long.
“Asha.”
He stroked the back of the still-sleeping woman’s head, then brushed his fingers over her slender nape and rounded ear.
At last, after his fingertips had idly wandered here and there, they lifted the woman’s chin.
He bent his head with practiced ease and kissed her.
Only then did the woman wake, faintly furrowing her brows.
The instant the crease between her brows melted away upon finding him and changed into a smiling face,
he leisurely admired it.
It belonged solely to him.
Something he could not exchange for anything.
Only after filling his eyes with that sight to his heart’s content did he straighten his upper body.
The woman rubbed her eyes.
“...Mm, you’re dressed to go out. Are you going somewhere?”
“Yes. I was summoned by the family.”
“Ah... I see.”
Worry quickly filled the woman’s eyes.
He found that supremely satisfying.
In truth, he thought it would be nice if the woman trembled with a little more unease.
If she did, he would be able to hold her and whisper words of comfort all night long.
He would be able to soothe her weakened heart and enjoy that love to his heart’s content.
“I’ll probably be rather late. Don’t wait for me. Go to sleep first.”
So he said it on purpose.
“That late?”
He saw that the sleepiness had now completely left the woman’s eyes.
The woman reached out and caressed his chilled cheek.
“Nothing’s happened, has it? Should I go with you?”
“...No.”
Yet in the end, he found himself speaking honestly.
“I won’t ever have to go back again. I’ll settle everything... and come back.”
“...”
“This is the last time.”
He liked the smile that softened upon the woman’s cheeks.
A little relief, pure trust, expectation, and that love glittering over it all like embroidered starlight—it was sweet.
And so he...
“I’ll be waiting.”
Accepted those words with thoughtless joy.
“...All right. Wait for me.”
A series of small kisses.
As he embraced her warm body with his whole self, Rohwinas lamented softly.
If only he could, he wanted to cram the woman inside himself.
He wanted to empty himself out again and again, and fill that space completely with her.
Then he thought he would be happy.
But.
“Returning home after half a year—are you truly my child?”
His father stood before the staircase railing.
“...To threaten me by using Roxan as an excuse and summon me here—your methods seem to grow more vulgar by the day, Father.”
Beside him stood Meriana Peregrine with a tense expression, and,
“That isn’t it. We had something urgent to tell you, so we asked His Grace to summon you, Count.”
Rogiche Peregrine stood alongside them with a blank expression.
“...”
It was an exceedingly strange combination.
A sight far beyond his expectations, something that appeared to have been “prepared.”
At that moment, a streak of ill omen had crossed his chest.
If he had turned back then,
if he had trusted his instinctive sense and stormed out of that place...
Could something have changed?
“It concerns Anastasia Roxan. Will you still leave?”
“If it turns out to be nothing but nonsense... you will have to take responsibility for calling me all the way here, my lady.”
Meriana frowned around the eyes as if her pride had been wounded, but soon replied with a composed expression.
“...Fine. I understand, so listen first and think after. Your mind will change then.”
In the end, in the duke’s presence, they moved to another room.
What Meriana Peregrine presented before him was a strange glass bottle rippling with golden light.
“Count, listen without being shocked.”
“...”
“You do not truly love Anastasia Roxan.”
For all the grave atmosphere they had created, what she actually confessed was foolish nonsense of the highest order.
“What’s inside this is your blood.”
“For something as paltry as this—”
But he suddenly stopped speaking at a sense of wrongness.
Then he lowered his gaze to the teacup he was holding.
It was the tea he had always drunk on rainy mornings when he stayed at the duke’s residence.
So naturally, he had taken a few sips...
The hand gripping the teacup trembled finely.
“What, right now, did you...”
He dimly heard the sound of the teacup rolling away and shattering into pieces.
He collapsed, his head striking the carpet spread over the floor.
His consciousness rapidly fading.
His vision flickering.
In the darkness, the woman’s voice rang out.
‘I’ll be waiting.’
No.
I have to go.
I...
This can’t happen.
She’ll be waiting.
Please,
for me...
Wait for me, Asha.
Fear choked his breath.
It felt as if his soul were being torn to shreds.
Please,
I’ll beg like this.
Asha.
“Ah...”
But leaving behind only a single syllable, his consciousness blinked out.
Please, me...
The sound of raindrops striking the window was the last thing he heard.
It was darkness.
* * *
He came to his senses.
Outside the window, the rain was still drizzling down.
I told her to wait...
He thought blankly.
Then slowly sat up.
It was a familiar bedroom.
It was the room he had used until he ran away from the duke’s residence.
His mind was hazy, as though he were wandering through a dream.
‘Why did I leave the family?’
Belated realization washed over him.
Along with disordered memories.
‘...What is this?’
He swept his hair back from his face.
He lowered his legs from the bed. The sound of the window rattling in the draft came to him very faintly.
Outside, it was already dark.
Before he knew it, his heart dropped with a thud.
But soon, he furrowed his brows.
‘Someone put something in the tea……’
Just then, the door opened, and Meriana entered the room with the servants.
“You’re awake?”
“…….”
“It’s already dawn.”
When he silently rose from the bed, Meriana gently made him sit back down.
“Your head will still be foggy.”
“…….”
“There’s no need to thank me. I simply couldn’t pretend not to know after happening upon such an immoral crime.”
I have to go.
He turned his head toward the window.
But where?
“Count.”
Meriana held out a glass of water, warmed to a suitable temperature.
He took a sip.
He sensed Meriana watching him with interest.
“……It’s late. Have you not returned yet?”
“The duke was considerate. He allowed me to stay the night.”
“…….”
“And we’ll have to discuss what to do from now on……”
The servants moved busily, beginning to tidy the room that had not been used in a long time.
Candles were lit in the candlesticks placed here and there, and the faint rattling of the windows could no longer be heard.
“I’ve called a physician, but I think it would be best for you to rest a little more before being examined.”
“…….”
“You mustn’t make a slip of the tongue, after all. The family’s dignity is at stake as well.”
Meriana sat in the chair a servant had brought beside the bed.
“There will be aftereffects.”
“…….”
“Since you were suppressed by the potion for such a long time, they said there may be emotional remnants—in other words, things like déjà vu or hallucinations—so you should be careful.”
He stared fixedly at Meriana.
Surrounded by the yellow candlelight, Meriana felt different from usual.
“You’ve always ignored me. Why are you showing me so much concern now?”
And so he asked.
Perhaps she had not expected him to ask so bluntly; Meriana bit her lip slightly, then whipped her head away.
“Because……”
“…….”
“Because I pity you.”
Me?
He fell silent.
He felt as though he must not shatter that look on Meriana’s face.
So he asked something else.
“What did you make me drink?”
“An antidote.”
“An antidote?”
“A medicine that completely neutralizes the love potion the person has taken, without leaving a trace.”
“……That couldn’t have been all, could it?”
“……There was no other choice.”
Meriana made an excuse, as if confessing.
“I was warned that if I forced the antidote on you while you were in your right mind, you would go mad enough to lose consciousness. The family mage guaranteed it, so that much is truly certain. So……”
“Did you put a drug that would make me lose consciousness into the tea as well?”
“……Yes. I did.”
For a moment, he said nothing.
Everything had already slipped out of his hands and changed far too easily.
Now all that remained for him was to accept it.
Unable to bear the silence, Meriana opened her mouth.
“That woman forced you to drink the potion! She approached you with a purpose! And you, not knowing any of that, even proposed to her……”
“…….”
“This was the only way. Yes, I’m not the only one who knows. Go ask your father! There’s evidence, too!”
He did not need evidence.
His coldly cooled heart was proving it every moment.
Before he knew it, he was on his feet again. He thought he had heard something.
Then he felt a hand grasp his sleeve.
“Rowhinas?”
His body stiffened, and he slowly turned around.
……Ah, right.
That was my name.
The wavering candlelight, and beneath it, the one looking at him with anxious eyes……
Meriana Peregrine.
Only then did Rowhinas feel that he had completely awakened from the dream.
This was his reality.
“What’s wrong?”
“…….”
“I wasn’t expecting thanks, but when the person who nursed you all day is standing right in front of you……”
No matter how good her intentions were, hadn’t this woman also fed him a drug without his knowledge?
And now that things didn’t seem to be unfolding the way she had imagined, she was trying to blame him……
For an instant, anger surged up in Rowhinas.
But it soon vanished.
Meriana was his benefactor.
She was someone to whom he owed a debt so great he could never repay it enough.
What was so wrong about wanting to be rewarded for the feelings one had invested?
It was not.
Rowhinas understood Meriana.
Rowhinas stood with his back to the door.
“For helping me…… I am grateful.”
“…….”
“Is there something you want from me?”
“……No, I. That’s not why I helped you, Count.”
Meriana answered that way, but her flushed face and sparkling eyes were saying something entirely different.
Rowhinas noticed that without difficulty.
In the end, Meriana was the same.
Just like that woman who loved him enough to feed him a love potion.
His heart settled into calm.
The rain outside the window was gradually weakening.
Before long, the sky would clear.
And the sun would rise.
Only then did Rowhinas truly realize that he had returned to his proper place.