13.
I looked up at the wall.
A clamor spilled over it, loud enough to reach me here.
It had taken quite some time to find out where Prien Izanar was.
The head of this devout household had invited a great number of priests today under the pretext of a prayer meeting, and only after I went all the way to the temple in the imperial capital did I hear that Prien had been assigned as part of their escort.
I waited until there were no passersby, then sprang lightly onto the wall.
And without much difficulty, I swung my legs over to the other side.
After checking where I would land, I jumped down without hesitation.
I was aware enough to know that what I was doing was absurd.
But did it look as though the gatekeeper would obediently let me in?
Not at all.
I simply did not want to waste today, of all days, in some pointless argument with a gatekeeper.
I felt I had lived cautiously enough for four years.
And had they thanked me for it? Had they apologized?
I strode across the back garden.
I was cursed at all the time anyway; adding one more thing worth being cursed for was hardly going to change my life.
The voices of the people grew clearer and clearer.
The prayer meeting seemed to have ended long ago, and a small after-party and tea gathering were underway.
And at the edge of the garden, where there were few people, I spotted a man who stood out so much he was irritating at a glance.
I hid myself behind the shrubs and approached him.
Standing behind a needlessly elaborate peacock-shaped bush, I waited for him to slowly walk this way.
And the moment the silver hair of the man, now separated from the others, came into view through the shrubbery.
I thrust out my arm.
His arm went rigid in my grasp, and a killing intent cold enough to chill my liver and gallbladder stabbed toward me.
But due to certain circumstances, I too was in a sufficiently murderous state.
So I did not let go of his arm in surprise.
Moreover, that killing intent vanished soon enough like a mirage.
Only the visibly flustered silver-haired man remained, meekly being dragged along in my grip.
I trapped him between the bush and myself and greeted him.
“We meet again like this.”
“……It is good to see you.”
He did not say a single word like, “Why are you here?” or “What is the meaning of this?” or “What brings you here?”
I had dragged him forcibly into the shrubs, yet that one phrase—It is good to see you—was all.
“……I came because I have business with you, Sir. But I snuck in, you see.”
“Yes.”
As if he found no question in my words at all, he merely nodded slightly.
Even his lukewarm, deferential manner of speech felt to me now less like kindness and more like a fragment of cold truth.
I reached into my breast and took out a small glass bottle.
“Will you give me just one drop of blood?”
Even though I said only that, without any explanation before or after, he brought his finger to his mouth without hesitation.
After biting the tip of his finger with his teeth, he held out the finger on which a bead of blood had formed.
“Here it is.”
Lowering my gaze from the corner of his lips, lightly stained with blood, I let his drop of blood fall into the glass bottle.
A brief moment of waiting.
“Aren’t you curious?”
“Do you mean what is inside this bottle?”
“No. Have you ever felt that it was strange, Sir, that you don’t ask what this is or even wonder about it?”
“That is…….”
I felt as though I might laugh.
If only lightning would strike from a clear sky, I would not be able to hold back and would burst into loud laughter.
The surface of the medicine bottle was boiling so fiercely it had turned reddish.
“B-Baron, your hand right now.”
I was staring down blankly at my hand, which was being cooked along with it.
Prien forced open the hand I had clenched and took the medicine bottle from me.
And even at that dreadful temperature, instead of throwing it away, he held it himself this time.
Because I had been holding it without dropping it.
Anger abruptly surged up in me, and I snatched the medicine bottle from his hand and threw it to the ground.
Crack! The medicine bottle shattered.
And once again, a beautiful cluster of golden light.
“Congratulations, Sir Izanar.”
“…….”
“All of your feelings were created. So you don’t need to worry about anything. One day, without fail, you will return to your original self.”
“…….”
“And allow me to offer my condolences. You and I, who could have lived our whole lives with nothing to do with each other, are now entangled in an utterly filthy mess.”
* * *
Finding the subject of the last potion was easier than I had expected.
He spent most of his time on official duties, and all I had to do was submit a formal request for an audience.
Before long, the duke let me into his office.
He was standing up from his seat.
Surrounded by things that were all pitch-black.
Black leather gloves, a black cloak, a navy-blue uniform so dark it was almost black, and even black military boots…….
They suited him perfectly, as though they were one with him.
While I stared intently at him, he waited for me instead of speaking first.
At last, when our eyes met.
“Baron, have you come because of the letter of appointment?”
Only then did he toss out a concise question, without so much as an exchange of names or a polite greeting.
At that moment, a trace of doubt came over me.
Because in the way he looked at me, there was no strange heat, no uncontrollable impulse to be seen.
He was taciturn from beginning to end, and despite being similar in age to me, he favored a stiff manner of speaking.
Even now, an impassive gaze was fixed on me.
No way…….
Was I mistaken?
But now that two people had already been proven true, I could not come this far and leave without checking.
Though I had not met him again since the banquet that day.
Some strange premonition had led me here.
“……No. Before that, I requested to see you because there is something I must confirm, shameless as it is of me.”
“What is it? Ah, sit first.”
He led me to the sofa.
As he personally poured tea into the empty teacup he had pushed in front of me, his gaze touched my palm, where the skin had peeled back.
I turned my palm over so he could not see it.
“What happened to your hand, Baron?”
“I burned it on something.”
“I see. Will you have it treated here before you go? If so, I will tell my adjutant to bring medicine.”
“No.”
He nodded obediently.
The thought that perhaps he might not be one of them suddenly raised its head again.
Yes, perhaps…….
However.
The shattered medicine bottle once again, without fail, poured out a clear, flawless golden light.
And so the small expectation I had held turned entirely to nothing.
Even after I explained what this situation was, the duke showed no particular reaction.
“I see.”
I had thought his was a face whose thoughts could not be read.
Even in a moment like this, his composure was exercising its full ability.
“What do you intend to do now, Baron?”
He even asked for my opinion, as though he were the curious one instead.
“……I am still thinking.”
“Yes, I see.”
To the very end, with a face as if nothing had happened, he brought up work.
“Once you have sorted out your thoughts, I hope we will have a chance then to discuss the letter of appointment.”
And so I returned home in the rattling carriage.
I was resting my head blankly against the wall when, before I knew it, the carriage came to a stop and the driver announced our arrival.
I got down from the carriage, paid the fare, and sent it away.
Standing for a moment at the entrance of the empty mansion, I looked up at the sky without thinking.
The scorching, intense summer sunlight of late afternoon was pouring down.
It was unmistakably summer.
“……Ha.”
I clutched my stomach.
And my shoulders began to shake.
“Ahahaha!”
It was horribly, unbearably funny.
I laughed until my chest rang, then, short of breath, pressed a hand to my forehead and bent at the waist.
Gasping, I closed my eyes.
Now I finally understood.
‘There’s someone.’
This was neither coincidence nor fate, but unwavering malice.
Something that had always been submerged in fog and darkness was, for the first time, revealed clearly before my eyes.
Yes, there was no way it could be coincidence.
How could Rohwinas have drunk a potion that made him love me through nothing but coincidence and mistakes?
Once, perhaps. But a second time meant they no longer intended to hide it.
I wiped away my tears and laughed for a long while longer.
And gradually, the trembling stopped.
“…….”
I dragged my palm down over my face.
In the end, there was only one answer.
‘No matter where you are, no matter what you are.’
This time, without fail.
‘I will find you.’
I clenched my fist.
The time that had stood still for the past four years began to flow again.
Only then could I feel the summer sun gouging into my skin.