116.
The rain quickly grew heavier.
Isitan, who had been sitting still, was slow to realize it. Only when the falling raindrops made the bouquet tremble did he open the front of his clothes and push the flowers into his arms.
Then he looked as if he were crouching there.
Soaked through by the rain, he raised a hand and rubbed his face.
No matter how many times he wiped away the rain running down his face, it did little good. As though he did not know that, he kept wiping at it with his hand.
I cautiously approached him.
I knew I was merely an outsider to this memory and could have no effect on anything, but for some reason, I felt I had to.
Before I knew it, he had clasped both hands together and buried his head in them.
I tried to examine him closely through the thick sheets of rain. It was just as I bent my upper body and drew near his face.
Isitan lifted his head ever so slightly.
The rims of his eyes were stained red. Even so, he never let a tear fall.
His black eyes were wet and wavering, as if they held rainwater.
He rose, his soaked body heavy, and began walking again with unsteady steps.
Naturally, I thought he would return to the ducal residence. It was late, and he was drenched; where else could he possibly go but home?
But the road he took was entirely different from what I had expected.
‘That way is the direction of the ducal residence, though?’
Isitan continued walking without hesitation. I could not guess his destination.
‘Is he going to the official residence?’
But he passed by the official residence where he usually stayed and worked. Nor was he headed toward the knights’ order.
‘No way.’
Before I knew it, I had stopped in my tracks while following him.
“What is this…….”
He had returned to the place from the beginning.
In other words, my mansion.
Without even glancing at the interlocked iron gate, he opened it naturally and stepped onto the mansion grounds.
The front yard, long left unmanaged, was full of puddles and muddy water.
His boots made squelching sounds as they stepped through puddles and mud.
Even then, there was no sign of anyone in the mansion.
Beyond the windows, where there was only pitch-black darkness, there was no hint of a light being lit.
He pushed open the mansion’s front door with his shoulder, though no one came out to greet him.
At the door, he took off his coat and hung it up.
Only then did the bouquet, taken from his arms, sway in his hand.
The scene inside the mansion was desolate.
The hall, without a single light, gave off an oddly eerie air, mingling with the sound of rain outside.
Isitan was already climbing the stairs.
As if he had no intention of changing out of his rain-soaked clothes, he entered the room as he was and collapsed onto the sofa.
Neither in the corridor nor in the room could I sense the presence of anyone else.
If I strained my ears, all I could hear was the faint sound of falling rain.
I realized it naturally.
‘I no longer live here.’
Just then, Isitan moved his head where it was buried against the sofa and murmured something in a low voice. His wet hair became disheveled with the motion.
I sat down across from Isitan. If my guess was right, then perhaps—
‘And Isitan must have bought this house.’
Belatedly, the duke’s attire suddenly caught my eye.
Because he had been wearing a cloak, I had not noticed it earlier, but his clothing did not look like that of a noble, much less the head of one of the three great ducal families of the imperial capital.
His achromatic outfit was simply plain and neat.
Isitan braced a hand on the sofa and slowly pushed himself upright. Perhaps even a single glass of alcohol made it difficult for him to regain his senses; he pressed his fingertips to the corners of his eyes.
It was when he finally managed to rise completely from the sofa, swaying.
A faint bell sound, familiar to me as the signal that a visitor had arrived, rode the rain and reached the room.
Isitan turned his head toward the sound and froze where he stood.
“Asha?”
The moment he murmured my name, my heart sank.
Staggering, Isitan immediately burst out of the room and hurried down the stairs. Despite movements urgent enough to be dangerous, he did not make a single sound of breathing.
I had to nearly run to catch up with him, and only after confirming that Isitan had stopped before the door on the first floor did I brace my hands on my knees and catch my breath.
Could ‘I’ be beyond that back?
I watched Isitan’s shoulders rise and fall quietly.
To see who was in front of him, I walked around to the side.
But there was no one before him.
He was staring at the empty grounds.
Rain was ceaselessly leaking inside, and then the bell rang once more.
I craned my neck out toward the outer wall where the bell hung and looked up.
The old bell stand creaked and swayed from time to time whenever the wind and rain blew hard, and the bell hanging above it rang each time.
Isitan quietly looked at it, and just as it seemed his jaw tightened, he abruptly turned around.
He strode off somewhere, and before I could even catch up, he returned.
In his hand was a sword. As he moved with fierce steps, he drew it from its sheath and threw the scabbard to the floor, then went straight outside.
Unable to bring myself to follow him out of the mansion because of the ominous aura he gave off, I stopped before the entrance.
Dressed only in a thin shirt, he walked through the rain toward the old bell stand and swung his sword before he had even stopped moving.
And so all I saw was the sky flashing at just the right moment as it scattered lightning, and his back as he swung the sword.
The bell stand, severed at the middle, bent weakly, and the bell that had been hanging precariously atop it plunged into the muddy water.
With a sharp shattering sound that rang in my ears, the bell was buried in eternal silence.
After looking down at the sight for a while, breathing roughly, Isitan even threw the sword to the ground and staggered back into the mansion.
I stared at him, stunned.
Unlike the duke I knew, he was extremely emotional, and there was no hesitation in his actions.
He washed himself briefly, then got into bed. Then he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
Outside the window, I could still see the sword being rained on in the muddy water, and the bell with one side smashed apart.
And on the table by the window, the bouquet with raindrops clinging to it lay ownerless.
Since the memory still did not end, I wandered aimlessly around the room before sitting down on the sofa.
Then, perhaps because I had fallen asleep without realizing it, I abruptly came back to my senses.
‘It still isn’t over?’
The window was shaking intermittently in the wind and rain. I must have dozed lightly and woken because of that sound.
If it was broken, he should have fixed the window.
It seemed not only wind but also rainwater was leaking in.
“…….”
Just then, I heard some sort of voice and turned my head. I saw Isitan’s back as he lay curled up on the bed.
It seemed he was talking in his sleep.
I approached and perched lightly on the edge of the bed.
His lips moved. Before I knew it, I was quietly tilting my head closer.
“……Asha.”
It was a very small voice, like a whisper.
I turned my gaze away from Isitan.
Somehow, I felt I understood.
The me in this memory…….
“She’s dead.”
* * *
My blurred focus slowly returned.
The first thing that came into view was the crystal stone shattered into pieces in my hand.
Perhaps the dagger had grazed me; there was a long wound across my palm.
I let out a groan and curled my upper body inward. It felt as though the remnants of that dreadful headache still lingered.
Only after a moment did I barely manage to lift my head again, and something flickered before my eyes.
“Asha.”
Asha.
From the hands gripping my shoulders firmly, I slowly raised my gaze.
Black eyes, red hair.
“Come to your senses. Look at me properly.”
“…….”
I slumped into Ishtan’s arms and leaned my head against him. The memories of the past were scattering rapidly. I murmured.
“Why did I die?”
And without hearing an answer, I lost consciousness.
* * *
“Are you awake? How do you feel?”
When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Prien. I stared at him blankly. For some reason, I felt as though this had happened last time too.
More importantly, my memories from just before I opened my eyes were hazy. Rubbing my gritty eyes, I asked.
“What happened?”
“You suddenly collapsed, so we brought you out, Baron. We had a physician examine you as well.”
Prien gently took hold of my wrist as I rubbed my eyes and lowered my hand.
“It isn’t good for your eyes.”
“So, um… was that place really a den of heretics?”
Forcing my sluggish mind to work, I began asking about each thing as it came to me.
“Yes. Judging by the traces left behind, we believe it was shut down and abandoned long ago.”
“What about the others? Is everyone all right?”
“There is nothing wrong with the others, so please don’t worry.”
It seemed the three of them hadn’t fully grasped exactly what had happened there.
When I tried to shatter the crystal, something like memories had suddenly surfaced in my mind.
They were probably memories the three of them hadn’t wanted to recall, and I had essentially seen them one-sidedly. So I couldn’t readily decide whether I should say anything about it or not.
Zaka’s childhood memories, Prien’s time with his family, and…….
‘Huh?’
The duke’s was……. What was it again?
I felt as though I could remember, yet couldn’t.
“More importantly, Baron.”
Prien held up the bracelet before my eyes.
That very bracelet, the one that had gotten me caught up in all sorts of incidents simply because it was on my wrist……. was in his hand.
I immediately raised my left hand. My wrist was bare.
My mouth fell open.
“It came off?”
“Yes, it came undone.”
Prien smiled softly.