6. Contract Termination
Several days had passed since they had discussed the contract. During that time, Do-uk had seemed strangely displeased, and she suspected she was the reason.
After returning from work, he would often stare at her as though observing her with an exceedingly peculiar gaze. His eyes looked angry, yet also as if he had been unable to resolve some question.
If he had a complaint against her, he was the sort of person who would say it outright, but since he had not brought anything up, even Seonha felt uneasy. Was he angry because she had not mentioned the contract immediately after the funeral?
She did not know the exact reason, but if this ice-thin atmosphere was going to continue, perhaps it would be better for her to leave the house a little earlier. After all, there had been no condition requiring her to stay for exactly thirty days.
However, it had not been long since she herself had firmly made up her mind. She had told him she would take care of it herself, but the deadline was so tight that finding a place was not easy.
The financial issue was also giving her a headache. It was not because she had no money. At present, she was both penniless and not penniless.
Under normal circumstances, her bank account should have remained just as empty as ever. After graduating, she had married Do-uk without getting a job, so she had never been in a position to save money of her own.
But the family she had married into was a chaebol family known to everyone. Even if their marriage was a fake one agreed upon by the two of them, to people who did not know the truth, it was a real marriage.
In particular, Chairman Choi, who was also the reason this marriage had come about, had grown increasingly fond of her. Unlike his grandson, who was as cold as a block of ice, his grandson’s wife visited him from time to time and treated him warmly. There was no way he could not find her endearing. Seonha did feel guilty about deceiving him, but her hunger for affection was even greater, so she had grown especially attached to him.
The inheritance Chairman Choi left her was not so large that his other children would resent it, but to her, it was an unimaginable sum. It was wealth she could not accumulate even if she worked without rest for the rest of her life. There was no way she could accept it.
She had deceived Chairman Choi and watched over him until the end without ever asking forgiveness for what she had done. The more she imagined how much he must know everything now in heaven and how hateful he must find her, the more guilt pressed down upon her chest. How could she think of that money as hers and spend it?
She had wanted to return it to Do-uk, but he had flatly refused. He had even made a joke that was not really a joke, telling her to donate the entire sum if it made her so uncomfortable. He told her that since she had won over the exacting old man, she was fully qualified to accept it and should do so without hesitation, but it was not that easy.
Now that the time had come for her to leave the house, however, she had run into a practical problem. She needed money to move out, but she had not a penny of her “real” money. At the same time, she absolutely did not want to accept the money Do-uk had promised to pay her as compensation for the contract marriage. No matter how insignificant her pride might be, that was one thing she refused to do.
She had even gone so far as to consider whether she had no choice but to touch the inheritance Chairman Choi had left her, but reaching a decision was difficult. Thus, whenever she told herself she had to find a place, she would falter and find herself unable to take another step. Seonha pretended not to know that her impulse to keep postponing the search for a house was not solely because of the money.
‘There really isn’t much time left now.’
Seonha’s steps were heavy as she returned to the apartment after looking at places through a real estate agency.
She was not hoping for a good house. Anywhere she could properly lay her body down would be fine. She had lived that kind of life before marriage. Just because she had been wrapped in luxurious wrapping paper for three years did not mean the contents themselves had changed.
She knew that several places with considerably poor conditions, places no one wanted, much like the one where she had lived before, were sitting empty enough for her to move in immediately. She could probably sign a contract for one of those places even in a hurry.
It was truly time for her to make a decision, even if it was only a day sooner. Time had grown too tight.
Just as she resolved that she would definitely find a place tomorrow, Seonha’s phone began to ring. The caller was Daae.
“Yeah, Daae. What’s going on? I’m just about to go into the house……”
—Did you see the article that went up online?
“What article?”
—It’s on the main page, about you and your husband. Your faces are huge, too. I knew you were pretty, but even between all those celebrity article photos, you don’t lose out at all. Oh, there are tons of comments, but don’t read those. You know how some people automatically attack chaebol families? Still, there are way more favorable comments. They say that even though you two are just standing there, you look more elegant and stylish than Hollywood couples. Anyway, people in this country really do love pretty and handsome people. There’s even a comment saying that the two of you look so different on-screen, as if you’ve got a filter on. Ahaha.
Daae laughed brightly, true to her carefree nature, but Seonha’s face slowly stiffened as she listened to the news.
She immediately opened the internet and checked the article. It was a fairly lengthy feature on Chairman Choi Gyeong-man. She hurriedly scrolled down and found that the final section named Do-uk as the powerful successor who would lead the company after Chairman Choi, along with details about him.
He was currently at the stage of having his managerial abilities tested as a successor, but despite his cold appearance, he was apparently quite the romantic—a story that would have been perfect for a women’s magazine. He had fallen in love with an ordinary woman from a normal family and firmly rejected an arranged marriage, but had ultimately overcome his family’s opposition and married her. They were still widely known around them as a loving couple. To Seonha, it was an article so false that it could only make her laugh hollowly.
The rumor had circulated quite widely even when they held their wedding three years ago, so that part did not surprise her. The problem was the photographs. Several pictures of the two of them standing close together had been uploaded.
From the beginning, they had entered into the marriage knowing that Chairman Choi would not last a year, so Do-uk had taken care to keep her from appearing in public as much as possible. The wedding itself had been held in complete secrecy, and she had taken part in only the bare minimum of external events. Even when photographs were taken, he had firmly instructed every media outlet not to expose her face in their articles.
“Why is this……”
At some charity event whose date she could not even remember, the two of them stood close together, quietly talking. Even to her, they looked rather affectionate. There were also photographs of the two of them at Chairman Choi’s funeral, dressed in mourning clothes. The cameras had even managed to capture the moment he caught her as she staggered.
The fact that she had not even known she was being photographed sent a chill down Seonha’s spine. She realized anew that the position she had seized according to her own desires was far larger and heavier than she had thought.
The comments Daae had emphatically told her not to read—calling her a shameless Cinderella who had seduced a chaebol with her face and married into wealth—were things she had heard often enough from her classmates that she had developed an immunity to them. They did not bother her much. The comments that made her break out in a cold sweat were the supportive ones: that they were an affectionate couple straight out of a movie, that honey dripped from their eyes whenever they looked at each other, that they suited each other perfectly and should grow old together.
Since an article like this had come out, it would probably be better for him as well if they postponed handling the paperwork a little longer. Seonha gathered her tangled thoughts and stepped inside the entrance. The house, which she had naturally assumed would be empty, was brightly lit and waiting for her.
“……
Huh? Mr. Do-uk?”
He was sitting on the living-room sofa without even having changed his clothes, his long legs crossed, and he looked toward her.
“You’re home early.”
“Where have you been? You don’t look like you went grocery shopping.”
At his question, Seonha hesitated briefly as she lowered the bag from her shoulder.
“I went to look at some houses.”
“Ah. Houses.”
He nodded and replied casually. Her eyes quietly studied his face. Fortunately, he did not seem particularly depressed today. Just then, Do-uk gestured toward the sofa opposite him with his eyes.
“Sit down for a moment.”
She sat on the sofa with a composed posture.
“There was an article.”
“You saw it too?”
“Yes. Something like this has never happened before. I guess that media outlet made a mistake.”
“Exactly.”
Do-uk tilted his head to one side and answered listlessly. His strange reaction instantly intensified Seonha’s suspicions.
“Don’t tell me you knew…… that my picture would be in the article?”
Do-uk, who normally did not tell unnecessary lies, did not answer. That alone made the answer perfectly clear. Seonha stared at him with incomprehension.
“Why didn’t you have it taken down this time? Until now……”
“Keeping your pictures from circulating online was something I did for your sake. A consideration I was free to offer or not offer. I checked the contract, and there wasn’t any clause about it.”
Leaning lightly against the back of the sofa, he crooked up one corner of his mouth. Or was it merely her imagination that detected sarcasm in his final remark, in which he had gone out of his way to mention the contract?
“So you reread the contract and decided you didn’t have to do it? Don’t you realize that if we get divorced soon, an article like this will be a disadvantage to you? Now that my picture has become known as well, if we divorce before long, do you have any idea how much people will……”
“We don’t have to get divorced.”
At Do-uk’s clear answer, Seonha’s voice cut off. She looked at him blankly. What had he just said……
“Isn’t it all right for us to stay like this?”
“……
You’re saying it’s all right to stay like this?”
“It’s already been three years. It’s been long enough for even me—the one who proposed the contract—to forget about it. Yet you’re talking about ending things as if you’ve been waiting for the chance. Do you have no intention of talking things over with me at all?”
“That’s……”
“Why are you such a cold, heartless person?”
She was too dumbfounded to speak. The person she was certain was the coldest and most heartless person in the world was criticizing her for exactly that. And he was doing it with a completely serious expression, not the slightest hint of a smile.
Still, she did not dislike the fact that he was trying to hold on to her. No—in all honesty, her heart was pounding pleasantly with excitement.
She became hopeful that perhaps he had the slightest feelings for her after all. But as if mocking that hope, Do-uk poked a sharp needle into her swelling heart.
“How about we make another contract?”
“……
What?”
“I admit that the first time, I demanded only my own conditions far too one-sidedly. I was in a hurry for several reasons back then. This time, let’s write it together. I’ll reflect all of your conditions as well.”
Make another contract……
Seonha mulled over his words, then soon gave a powerless laugh. She had repeatedly taught herself, over and over, not to expect anything, yet she still had a long way to go.
Only now did she feel all her lingering attachment slipping away from her fingertips. Only at this moment, when she instinctively understood that he would never change.
“Why don’t you want to get divorced?”
She asked while clinging to her heart, which felt as though it might collapse. Perhaps the question had been unexpected, because Do-uk furrowed his brows for a moment.
“It’s comfortable like this. I’m used to it. I’ve already adapted to living this way, and going back would be inconvenient. You’re the same, aren’t you? So let’s just stay like this……”
Just how far are you planning to humiliate me?
Seonha bit down on her trembling lips.
“I’m not making another contract.”
“……”
“It may have been comfortable for you, but it wasn’t for me. I…… was never comfortable. You make me uncomfortable. I want this to end as soon as possible.”
Even when she saw his eyes harden as though he had been shocked, Seonha felt no relief at all.
*
“The sales growth trend of the first Roy Collect store, the megaversion of a domestic casual clothing brand, is as follows. Quarterly sales have shown growth of more than ninety percent……”
Do-uk’s gaze, fixed on the red mark left at the spot where the presenter’s laser pointer had landed, was anything but ordinary. He was tapping a ballpoint pen against the desk irritably, over and over, and was not listening to the presentation at all. More precisely, the words were not reaching his ears.
Lately, anger had welled up without warning even while he was working, and it had become common for him to roughly tug down his bothersome tie and spend a moment steadying his breath.
Even when he briefly closed his eyes to cool the heat boiling inside him, the thing that returned in that darkness was Seonha.
The contract he had made with her. His married life with her. The sex he had shared with her……
‘Was sex the problem after all? I shouldn’t have done it from the beginning.’
There were other reasons he had deliberately chosen the form of a contract marriage instead of an ordinary one, but avoiding sexual relations had also been a major one.
Even if it was a marriage of convenience, a husband who avoided sharing a bed with his wife after they had become an ordinary married couple was abnormal by anyone’s standards. It was obvious that their partner would exercise all sorts of imagination, from infidelity and homosexuality to suspected sexual dysfunction, making the future after marriage a nuisance. Even if they filled the appropriate amount of time and divorced, those suspicions would spread from person to person and continue to circulate as though they were established fact.
He had entered into a marriage formed by contract so that, even without having a relationship, there would be no cause for rumors—which was precisely what he wanted. Yet, absurdly, he had slept with that woman. It was something he had never once thought possible.
Before meeting Seonha, sex with a woman was out of the question; even exposing his naked body to someone had caused him enormous stress.
Knowing that the trauma still remained should have meant it was not a matter of pride, yet it irritated him, and he did not want anyone to find out. It was proof that, pathetic as it was, he had failed to completely erase the past even after all this time. He hated being weak and helpless.
Yu Seonha was the first woman in his life toward whom he had felt no revulsion. They had met only three times before deciding on the contract, but she was also the only woman he could imagine living under the same roof with.
It was an opportunity he could not afford to miss. The fact that she was so poor that she could see no future ahead of her was an even greater advantage to him. Someone with shortcomings would be much easier to persuade.
Even knowing that her proposal of marriage had been made while she was drunk, he had stubbornly thrust the contract in front of her. He had not suspected that, while living together, even the slight aversion that remained would completely crumble, and that they would end up joining their bodies so deeply.
He could use the alcohol as an excuse for what had happened the first time, but afterward, like a magnet snapping into place, he could not overcome his own will and found himself embracing her. Even if he repeated to himself all day, until he left work, that he must not do it again, the moment he stepped through the front door he forgot every resolution.
If he had never experienced it at all, he might somehow have been able to endure it, but after learning her body, he developed symptoms close to an addiction. As time passed, those symptoms only grew worse; they never subsided.
It was the first time he had ever held a woman. He had never thought he would be able to embrace anyone in his lifetime, nor had he even possessed the desire to do so. Physically, he was perfectly normal, but mentally he was as good as impotent.
Yet after embracing her, sensations from those hot and intense moments would come to him at any time, making it difficult to control his body.
In the end, he gave up trying to suppress the instincts that had built up over such a long time. And now, like a genuine addict, he embraced her every day as though it were only natural.
At her question, Do-uk hesitated for a moment. No matter how lacking in humanity or indifferent he might be, he was not foolish enough to answer that it was because of sex. But Seonha had clearly read that fleeting look in his eyes.
He had never seen such a cold expression on her face. The woman who had always worn a warm, gentle smile turned away from him with an expressionless face, her features sunk into stillness. It was so unfamiliar that he even felt the dizzying sensation of his heart being hurled to the floor.
‘Uncomfortable? I’ve never once been comfortable?’
He did not know why those words kept buzzing through his mind. Beyond the betrayal he had felt when she handed him the divorce papers, an inexplicable shock made his brain tremble.
After hearing her say something like that, he ought to have said that it was over, if only out of wounded pride, but even when he was alone, he could not bring himself to let the words pass his lips.
Only two days remained until the day she had said she would leave the house. But Do-uk still did not want to let go of the woman who claimed she had never once been comfortable at his side. No—he did not want to send her away.
*
There was little to pack. She had disposed of everything from her old home before moving in, so she had not brought much with her in the first place. The clothes, shoes, and accessories she had stuffed into the enormous dressing room in order to dress appropriately as his wife had never originally belonged to her, so she had not even considered taking them.
By chance, she found a place with conditions that were not as bad as she had expected. It was a one-room apartment with a single, narrower dressing room than the one in her current home, but compared to the house she had lived in before marriage, it was far more comfortable and pleasant.
It would have been nice to find a job first and then choose a home at a suitable distance, but the deadline was too tight for that. Besides, with a three-year gap in her career after graduation, there was no guarantee she would find work quickly.
Thinking about the future left her at a loss, but it was better than thinking about Do-uk. She had felt so wretched and devastated when she read the meaning that had crossed his face in response to her question about why he did not want a divorce. Even though she had known that, to him, her existence was nothing more or less than a nominal wife and a convenient sex partner.
And yet, when that fact pierced sharply into the deepest part of her heart, she was in so much pain that she could not even look at him properly. Afraid that her tears might come spilling down at any moment, she had forced herself to turn away from him and hide in her room.
Seonha gathered her few belongings and suitcase in one corner of her dressing room, then came out and looked around the living room. In two days, she would leave this house. She had never dreamed that she would one day live in a home so spacious and luxurious. A lonely smile brushed across her lips.
She remembered her past self, who had dreamed of marrying him so badly that she had gone ahead and signed the contract without hesitation. It had been such a foolish, futile dream. She had only realized that after experiencing everything for herself. It was not because she had ultimately been unable to receive his love.
Perhaps because she had lost her parents at an early age, she had been strongly attached to the idea of building a family. Even by the time she graduated from university, she had not found a dream she absolutely wanted to pursue. She had only vaguely thought that she would have to join a company in order to earn money.
The one dream she had held most strongly for a long time was to meet a partner who fit her perfectly, as if they were destined for each other, and marry him. To have his child and build a warmer, happier family than anyone else’s.
But it was not a dream she could accomplish alone. It required someone else, and it was a dream she could attain only by relying on that person rather than on her own strength. How could she call that a proper dream?
All she had wanted when she thought she wanted to create a family was someone to lean on because she was lonely from enduring life on her own. In the end, she had merely run away.
‘The thing I truly want to do…’
She did not know whether she could easily find that thing now, after failing to discover it all this time. But she had firmly resolved that she would live steadfastly on her own, rather than rely on someone merely because she was lonely.
Until then, she had thought she was unhappy because she had no family, because she had no one beside her to live with and care for her. She had believed she would be happy once she escaped being alone, but she realized that was not the case. She had felt a deeper loneliness beside the man she loved one-sidedly than she ever had when she was alone.
Her heart was still unsettled and disorganized, but she did not want to regret what she had chosen. Not all of it had been bad memories. No—the wound carved deeply by what had happened with him a few days ago was so large that it obscured everything else, but there had been far more good moments.
Her ex-boyfriend had cruelly told her that no family would accept someone like her, yet the first man she had ever loved had accepted her without prejudice, and she had been loved excessively by her in-laws as well. Though her husband was too busy and unaffectionate for her to see his face often, she had felt thrilled and happy simply being in the same space as him.
She had no regrets. She would not regret it.
Repeating those words to herself, Seonha tried to suppress the emotions surging within her. If she let down her guard even for a moment, the emotions clotted in her chest felt as though they might burst out in a sudden sob, and she had to keep pressing them down to the very end. At least until she left this house completely.
Seonha was ready to go out. Today was the day she had arranged with the landlord to sign the contract. She had intended to sign it on the day she chose the place, but the landlord happened to be away on a trip, so she had only made a verbal agreement over the phone arranged by the real estate agent.
As she picked up her bag to leave, Seonha sat down on the sofa for a moment. The home she would be living in was not close to this one. She had deliberately chosen a distant place. By the time she returned, quite a bit of time would have passed, and she might even miss dinner. Since she did not know whether Do-uk would be coming home early or late today, Seonha hesitated for a moment before contacting him.
- Yeah, it’s me.
The call connected without delay, as if he had been waiting for it. He was an extremely busy man, so that was unlikely, though.
“Can you talk right now?”
- I answered, didn’t I?
His voice was as sensitive and prickly as could be. This was why she had been reluctant to contact him lately; he seemed to be in this state constantly. Apparently, he was angry because she had refused to renew their contract.
The atmosphere was so charged that it seemed he would repel every word she said, and for a moment she could not speak. Then, in a slightly softened tone, he asked first.
- What is it?
“Um, are you going to be late getting off work today?”
- Why?
“There’s somewhere I need to go.”
- Where?
She did not understand why he answered every question with another question. One thing was certain: the moment she told him she was going to sign a housing contract, his already foul mood would sink even further.
“You’re going to be late again today anyway, aren’t you?”
As she artfully evaded answering, a deep sigh rang out from the other end of the phone.
- You said you were uncomfortable, didn’t you?
He suddenly brought up what she had said last time. The hand holding her phone tightened. She still remembered all too clearly what she had felt when she said those words.
- Did I do something wrong to you?
“……”
- If I did, tell me.
His razor-sharp tone sounded almost as if he were insisting that she had done something terribly wrong to him.
“……
If there is.”
- Tell me. I can apologize, if it’s something I can understand.
“……”
- I’ll try to change, too.
His tone was brusque, as though he were doing her a favor. For a man with his personality, he had swallowed an enormous amount of pride to say this much.
Fine. This was enough. Even if the only reason he needed her was desire, she could consider it less humiliating than being told to leave as though he had been waiting for the chance. She wanted to think of everything in a positive light. Since this was the end.
“Mr. Do-uk, you haven’t done anything wrong. That day… I spoke too harshly. I’m sorry for making you worry unnecessarily.”
- So you meant it was a lie? That I made you uncomfortable?
His question came as though he had been waiting for her answer, but Seonha could not respond. She wanted to put his mind at ease, yet she could not bring herself to lie so readily. Perhaps he had read her true feelings in the brief silence, because she could sense him suppressing his anger again from the other end of the phone.
“Anyway, Mr. Do-uk, you really haven’t done anything wro—”
- If I haven’t done anything wrong, why do you hate this?
“If you mean the contract, it’s already over. This isn’t something we need to keep talking about. We made that contract before we got married.”
- Why do you reject everything so unconditionally? You’re making this so frustrating. We’ve lived well together until now, so why can’t we continue from here on? I told you I’d accept every condition you wanted. Your grandfather has passed away, so you don’t have to stay home anymore. Do whatever you want. If you live with me, you’ll never have to struggle because of money again like you did before.
The moment he brought up money, her face stiffened miserably. It was already sad enough that he probably saw her as a woman who had approached him for marriage because of money.
She remembered their first wedding anniversary. It had been a time when she was filled with anticipation. After he first embraced her, he had passionately indulged in her. Enough to make her wonder if he, too, had developed feelings for her.
When she replied as though it were only natural, he stared at her for a moment, as if trying to determine whether she was sincere.
At his offer to give her more money, the hand she had clenched into a fist trembled faintly. She was humiliated. He really did think of her as nothing but that kind of woman, and he was always thinking about the end.
Recalling that day left a bitter taste in her mouth. With one hand cupping her dry, parched cheek, she opened her mouth again.
“You don’t have to give me the money from the contract.”
She knew he thought she had entered into the contract for money, so she added the words, thinking he might be confused if she said she would accept nothing at all.
“Grandfather has already left me more inheritance than I could ever handle…… You said that even if I returned it, you wouldn’t accept it. That’s more than enough, so you don’t need to give me anything else. I’ll leave with nothing but myself. So, Mr. Dook, about the contract, now……”
- Now.
Dook’s voice sank lower, more frightening than ever.
- Do you think I’m holding on to you because of money? Because I don’t want to give you money? You really……
He cut himself off and let out a hollow laugh. His breath was so sharp that her heart lurched.
- I’ll be home early today. Wait for me.
Dook said only what he had to say in a cold voice, then hung up. Lowering the phone, from which no sound came, onto her lap, Seonha slowly closed her eyes. She wanted to settle things as amicably as possible before leaving, but it seemed she kept aggravating him against her will.
A sharp ache stabbed at the edge of her forehead. Why was nothing ever easy? She had never imagined that Dook, who hated troublesome things more than anything, would continue trying to persuade her to remain married even after she had refused him. Though it was closer to irritation than persuasion.
Had he said that he was comfortable with things as they were now?
Had he become so completely accustomed to this state that even the thought of something changing was bothersome? The past three years must have been fairly comfortable for him. A woman who handled all the housework, never pestered him by clinging to him, and opened her body to him whenever he wanted.
“I’d be comfortable too, if I were a man, with a woman like that……”
Looking back now, the things she had done because she wanted him to like her had amounted to nothing more than being dragged along, unable to refuse even once in order to win his favor. She had been comfortable enough for him to dislike letting go of her, but she probably had none of the charm that would make him love her.
The reason he was clinging so obsessively to the idea of continuing their contract was not because her existence was precious to him. It was because, through their marriage, he had newly realized how convenient it was to have a woman like her by his side, someone who did everything for him.
Dook did not yet seem to have reached the conclusion that he could simply find another woman to replace her, but Seonha could not bring herself to tell him that answer. She could not pretend to be that coolheaded.
As she stared blankly into space, her phone rang again. Thinking it might be Dook calling, she hurriedly picked it up, only to find a call from the landlady of the place she had planned to rent.
She could not cancel an appointment she had already made, so she would sign the contract, return as quickly as possible, and have a proper talk with him.
“Yes. I’ll come see you on time, without being late……”
- Oh, miss. What am I going to do? I’m so sorry.
The landlady’s voice, beginning abruptly with an apology, struck her ear. She had a bad feeling.
- I don’t think we can sign the contract. The room’s been taken. I’m sorry.
And her premonition proved correct.
“What…… What do you mean? You said it was vacant…… You said I could move in anytime.”
- My niece from the countryside did terribly on the college entrance exam this year, and apparently she’s coming up to Seoul to attend a repeat-preparation academy. I’m the only one living here. She kept pestering me to give her a room, so I finally said yes. It’s not as if I had a room entrusted to me by you, right? Still, what could I do? She’s family. Couldn’t you understand, just this once?
The landlady poured out her excuses fluently, as though reciting from a script. Her defense was an impenetrable wall, leaving Seonha no chance to get a single word in.
After listening in a daze, Seonha eventually hung up without even managing to protest. Rather than venting her anger over everything going wrong, solving what she was going to do now had to come first. She had to leave this house in two days. Her already tangled thoughts became even more knotted.
Just then, a short text message chime sounded. When Seonha turned on the screen to check it, her eyes widened.
“W-What is this……”
It was a message notifying her of an amount that had just been deposited into her account. An endless procession of zeros. She did not need to check who had sent it. She already knew. Bending forward, she buried her face in her knees and let out a thin groan.
“Why…… why is everyone doing this to me……”
The sharp headache returned, vivid once more, because none of her problems showed any sign of being resolved.
*
After her plans to move out were reduced to nothing because of the botched contract, Seonha quietly prepared dinner.
Since things had turned out this way, she would have to ask him if she could stay a little longer, just until she found another place, but for some reason she could not bring herself to do it. He was already so sensitive around her as it was.
Wearing an apron, Seonha tasted the simmering dried-radish-greens soybean-paste soup, then suddenly turned around. The house was exceptionally large, and the soundproofing between the inside and outside was thorough, yet she often had a strong intuition whenever he arrived. It was strange. Her hearing was not particularly good, either.
As expected, the doorbell rang right on time. Her legs began moving out of habit, then stopped halfway. She had realized that, despite saying she had given up on everything, she was still preparing his meals and waiting for him to come home from work.
While she hesitated, the entryway remained quiet. He was not a particularly patient man, so he should have opened the door and let himself in by now. With a puzzled expression, Seonha looked toward the front door, then started walking again. When she opened it, her eyes met his as he stood there like a wooden general.
“You’re…… home?”
She stammered without meaning to, faced with his expression, stiff as a wooden plank.
“You haven’t eaten dinner, right? I made some food. Come in.”
Forcing herself to greet him naturally, she headed for the kitchen first. Ever since she had brought up the contract, dealing with him, so tense and sharp, had become difficult. She had already grown accustomed to his infuriatingly indifferent personality, so it was bewildering to see him suddenly reveal a sensitivity rivaling that of some great artistic genius, taking offense at every single word she said and reacting so fiercely.
Perhaps he had seen through her desire to avoid him as much as possible, because his dangerously heavy footsteps drew closer to the kitchen.
“I may have made it sound a little strange earlier. I know you weren’t acting that way because you didn’t want to give me the money. I’m sorry if it sounded unpleasant. I really didn’t mean it that way.”
Dook stood behind the dining table, staring only at her back. In the end, Seonha turned off the burner and faced him.
“I was wrong, so…… please don’t do this anymore. I can’t accept that money.”
Even though she chose her words carefully, doing her best not to provoke him, Dook’s expression twisted without fail.
“What are you doing right now? Are you trying to soothe a kindergartener?”
“What?”
“You have every right to get angry and irritated right now. I’m the one who changed my mind. So why are you acting so submissive? Saying you’re sorry for making me misunderstand, that everything is your fault. Do you think I don’t know what all this careful watching of my mood means? That you want to get rid of this bothersome bastard as quickly as possible and leave this house quietly?”
Then what the hell did he want her to do?
She had no idea why this man was so angry, or how she was supposed to calm him down. No…… there was one way, but she could not agree to it.
Did he want to renew the contract and repeat all of this?
Unlike in the past, when she had been full of confidence, her determination to make him love her had now been shattered to pieces. It was absolutely impossible.
“……”
“Mr. Dook.”
Dook glared fiercely at the carefully prepared dishes on the table before shifting his gaze to her.
“If this life was so uncomfortable and unbearable for you, why are you still putting on an act? You prepared every meal without fail, and no matter how late I came home, you waited until I got off work. You kept doing it to the very end, even though I repeatedly told you not to. Did I make you do it? No, I didn’t.”
It might have been her imagination, but there seemed to be resentment in his cold eyes as he stared at her.
“Then why are you saying it’s uncomfortable now? You did everything your own way. Why! Why are you looking at me with such an exhausted face?”
Perhaps because his voice had sunk lower than usual, even the slightest rise in his volume struck her chest like thunder. Seonha’s heart beat uneasily at the ominous atmosphere surrounding him.
“That’s not what I meant by saying it was uncomfortable. I did everything because I wanted to. I wasn’t putting on an act, either. There was nothing I did unwillingly in this house.”
Even in the early days of their marriage, when she had barely known him, she had never thought he was frightening or intimidating. Looking back, it was astonishing that she had been able to feel that way. Though he was a man she had fallen for at first sight, theirs was not yet a relationship built on trust, and yet she had somehow felt that she could trust him.
But now, she did not know. His gaze was utterly unfamiliar. His manner of speaking had always been somewhat harsh, but his eyes had remained calm and still, free of any intense emotion. Now they churned fiercely. It was frightening precisely because it was so unfamiliar.
“I’m not getting divorced. I’ve changed my mind. Use the money I gave you to file a lawsuit, if you want.”
“Why are you doing this? I clearly told you that I have no intention of continuing this marriage. Why do you keep ignoring my opinion?”
Seonha let out a deep sigh as she covered her heated forehead. She was already struggling to endure, and with him deliberately acting like someone determined to torment her, she felt herself drying up inside. Please, just stop now.
But perhaps every word, action, and expression of hers had become so unbearable to him that he could not stand it. As he looked into her visibly exhausted face, his gaze turned cold again.
“Have you gotten another man? Is that why you’re insisting on leaving even though I’m willing to meet all your conditions? Then stop pretending and tell me honestly.”
At the question he tossed out sarcastically, Seonha felt the wound she had barely forced shut split open again. He asked so easily. It was a question she had never dared to ask, no matter how much she had been rotting inside.
Her heart and body had been bound tight by the contract he had created, unable to move an inch all this time, and yet he had shattered that contract so easily. So easily that she could not help but resent him.
“I don’t have to answer that question, do I? It has nothing to do with you. The contract you wrote says we’re both free to pursue relationships with other people.”
Cha Yuju, who had said she had met him during his business trip, came to mind, making her chest churn unpleasantly. She had resolved to press down her own feelings because he was so sensitive, but in the end, jealousy and resentment seeped into her voice, lending its ending a faintly sullen edge.
“Even if I had another man, as long as we met quietly without getting caught by the media, it wouldn’t violate the contract……”
Before Seonha could finish speaking, Dook strode toward her and seized her arm. His large body looming directly in front of her made her feel oppressed. When she tried to take a step back, his grip tightened around her arm.
“Say it again while looking at me. You’ve been seeing another man?”
His eyes gleamed blackly as he stared intently into hers, as if he truly intended to determine whether she was telling the truth or lying.
“Let go of my arm and then we’ll talk. It hurts……”
“Did you sleep with another man besides me?”
“……”
“What’s so difficult about that question that you can’t answer? If you say no, that’s the end of it. Why won’t you answer? Did you really sleep with another bastard? You didn’t, did you?”
His gaze was cold and chilling enough to make his eyes glisten. It held such a dangerous light that one could believe all the anger he had shown until now had merely been a joke.
Seonha desperately avoided his piercing stare, which made her lower back go rigid. Yet her stubbornness remained unbent, and she parted lips that barely concealed their trembling.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“……”
“What?”
Seonha lifted her lowered gaze. Seeing something in his eyes snap, she took a step backward.
“What do you mean, you don’t want to talk about it?”
“Mr. Dook.”
“Was what I gave you not enough? I thought I had filled you sufficiently so that it wouldn’t be lacking.”
“Please, stop…… Ngh.”
Her lips were blocked. He slammed his lips against hers and reached roughly for her body. He tore off her apron and flung it to the floor, then seized her breast. Seonha frantically shook her head and tried to avoid his lips.
“You said there was nothing you did unwillingly in this house, right? You enjoyed having sex with me too. Don’t tell such an obvious lie.”
“Let…… let me go.”
“Why? The contract you’re so fond of talking about still has two days left. You and I are still husband and wife. Why can’t I have sex with you when you wait for me to come home and prepare my meals?”
At the rough hands burrowing beneath her skirt, Seonha felt the sensation of her heart plunging to the tips of her toes. He nibbled at her pale nape as he thrust a hand inside her thin panties. His fingers rubbing against a place that was not even wet were unbearably savage.
Her slender eyelashes trembled. Clenching her eyes shut, she stopped resisting and let the strength drain from her body.
Douwook stopped moving as well. Only after belatedly sensing that something was wrong with her did he come to his senses and take a step back. As though only then realizing what he had done, he retreated another step and roughly wiped his devastated face with a dry hand.
“I…”
Seonha glared at him with eyes full of resentment.
“Just how ridiculous do you think I am?”
“……”
“I’ve never thought of you that way.”
“Then how could you do this?”
The tears she had barely managed to hold back spilled hotly down her cheeks. Along with them, the emotions she had desperately kept buried came pouring out.
Only now could she bring out the misery she had felt ever since he had taken her without consideration just before leaving on his business trip. The question that would only hurt her more.
“Am I some kind of… prostitute?”
“What?”
The color drained from Douwook’s face. Even the sight of his eyes twisting in horror, as though he had heard something utterly absurd, could not calm her painfully pounding heart. On the verge of bursting into tears, she hurried past him and left the kitchen. Then she entered the nearby dressing room and locked the door.
“Hngh.”
Leaning against the door, she slowly sank to the floor. With her face buried in her knees, a sorrowful sob slipped softly through her tightly pressed lips.
Her curled-up body trembled as vulnerably as an injured bird. The fear she had felt at his coercive behavior had not yet left her. That icy gaze, which had taken no account whatsoever of her wishes. He had frightened her, and she was just as deeply disappointed in him.
When she had used the word prostitute, his face had twisted as though he himself had been insulted, but the thoughts filling her mind remained unchanged.
Even if he had not thought of her as a prostitute in his head, he had treated her that way with his body just now. Just as he had when he had stopped by before leaving on his business trip and hurriedly indulged only in her body. Perhaps it had been that way not only on those occasions, but every night.
That was why receiving the money she had contracted with Douwook for had felt more uncomfortable than accepting Chairman Choi’s inheritance. For the past three years, the one thing he had demanded most insistently from her had been sex. As for the housework, she had taken it upon herself despite his saying they could hire someone.
Taking money from a man who wanted nothing from her but a bedmate. Apart from the contract, that money seemed to her like a bomb she absolutely must not accept.
And yet, when he had just brought up the remaining days of their contract and tried to take her, the thought that had already been circling uneasily in her chest solidified, and her tears surged forth.
Was the sin of coveting him despite not knowing her place, as everyone had said, really such a grave wrong that she had to suffer and hurt this much?
She stifled the sobs that had not yet ceased between her teeth. Wiping the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand, she rose from the floor. It had been so long since she had cried this hard that her head felt dazed, as though shrouded in fog.
She saw the luggage she had organized earlier that day. Seonha picked up her suitcase and bags. It felt as though something she had been enduring all this time had finally snapped. She no longer had the presence of mind to think rationally. She felt that only by getting away from him could this agony subside, even a little.
There was still luggage left behind, but she could not carry it all by herself. She even thought that she could come back for it later—or simply throw it away. She flung open the locked dressing-room door and moved toward the entrance.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Douwook, who had been sitting on the sofa like a statue with his arms draped over his closed eyes, rose at the sound of the quiet dressing-room door opening. But when he saw her coming out with her luggage, his clenched jaw tightened of its own accord.
“You…”
The moment he grabbed her arm, struck by the fear that she might burst through the door and leave at once, Seonha shoved his hand away as if she had touched a bug. Despite the sharpness of her action, her delicate shoulders were hunched tightly inward, and Douwook cursed himself bitterly.
“……”
“Don’t touch me.”
Douwook roughly brushed back the disheveled hair falling over his forehead.
“Whew.”
At the end of a deep sigh, he spoke in a low voice.
“I’m sorry about what happened earlier.”
“……”
“I… lost my reason for a moment. You have every right to be angry.”
Seeing her half turned away, refusing even to meet his eyes, drove Douwook nearly mad. Even when he asked himself why he had lost control in the first place, no clear answer came.
He had certainly been on edge lately. He knew she was looking at him strangely, too. But until he found out what was causing the feeling bubbling inside him like water about to boil over, he did not think it would be resolved.
Then today, he had needled her again for no reason. When he realized that she, facing a man like him, did not even have the energy to flare up in anger—that she had completely given up on this life—his nerves grew even more taut.
His question about whether she had found another man had been spat out in the heat of anger.
He had naturally expected her to be offended and deny it outright. But the answer that came back had struck him squarely in the head.
The possibility that she might have found another man. The possibility that, perhaps, she might have slept with someone other than him during the past three years. The instant those thoughts coiled inside his mind, heat shot through him and erased his normally ironclad judgment. Just as he had said, he had completely lost his reason.
At her almost absurdly calm and clear voice asking whether it mattered if she met another man since it would not violate their contract, Douwook felt his eyes roll back.
When she failed to deny it to the very end, his imaginative mind quickly and vividly created even a scene of her being held by another man. It was only an imagined scene, yet it made his head spin.
Even so, what he had done to her just now had been appalling. He had tried to force himself on a woman who had said she did not want it.
But—
“Am I some kind of… prostitute?”
That one statement, at least, was something he could not simply hear and let pass.
A prostitute…?
For a moment, the sight of her wounded eyes robbed him of speech. She then hid herself in the room, as though she did not even want to speak with him, and Douwook stood rooted to the spot, turning her words over and over in his mind.
All those countless nights they had shared. Had she not enjoyed them? Had she endured them because of the money he would give her?
Yet one of the things he had naturally come to realize over the past three years was that she was not a woman driven by money.
Even when he placed an enormous sum in her hands, she did not know how to indulge herself. Someone who had been steeped in poverty would normally be eager to spend money the moment their purse grew heavy, but in these three years, he had never once seen her spend money on herself.
The reason he had transferred money into her account earlier, the moment he ended the call, where she could see it, was because he knew very well that she would feel burdened by it. If he did that, she would no longer simply nod obediently.
He wanted to see her finally release her emotions instead of holding her breath, watching his every move, and seeming ready to quietly disappear at any moment. He thought he would feel at ease only then.
But now, a belated question came to him. If it had not been for the money, why had she chosen to marry him?
When they had made the contract, he had thought she had made the decision because she needed money, combined with the impulsive desire to get revenge on the ex-boyfriend who was about to hold a wedding. He had cunningly taken advantage of those feelings.
He had chosen her because she was someone who could be moved by money, but that had been a tremendous misconception. If she had not married for money, there was only one other reason he could think of.
But could she really have made such a reckless decision merely because she wanted to show the lover who had humiliated her that she was getting married, just to spite him? The woman he had lived with was not that impulsive.
If that truly was the reason, she might deeply regret this marriage now. When his thoughts reached that point, the back of his neck turned cold.
Regret it? The past three years?
“Whether I leave in two days or leave now, I don’t think it will make any difference.”
Seonha coldly murmured the words without looking at him. He came to his senses and blocked her path.
“I know you’re angry, but calm down first. Where do you think you’re going all of a sudden, this late at night?”
“Move.”
“Fine. I’ll go. I’ll leave, so you stay here.”
“Whether you leave or not is none of my concern. Even if you leave, I’ll take care of myself.”
“Yu Seonha!”
“Don’t yell at me! Why are you getting angry at me?”
He had never seen her this agitated and incensed before. The atmosphere around her, as though she might storm out of the house at any moment, made Douwook’s insides burn black.
He had known she was a stubborn and strong-willed woman despite her mild appearance, but he had not known she also possessed the ability to drive a person to the brink like this. Even after he had taken a step back and said he would leave, she refused to yield, and Douwook’s forehead throbbed.
He had no idea what he could possibly do to make her anger subside. His brain stuttered as though it had malfunctioned. It was the first time in his life that someone had left him this flustered and frantic.
“Please, stop being so stubborn. You have nowhere to go. Huh?”
It was a pleading tone in which he suppressed his nasty temper as much as possible—enough to make anyone who knew him fall backward in shock.
If suppressing his temper would ease her anger, he could do it dozens of times over. Somehow, he had to calm her down. There was no way he could let her go outside alone with tears still wet on her face.
Besides, it was already late in the evening. The short winter sun had disappeared long ago, and dusky darkness covered the sky.
The fact that she had come out with her luggage meant she was not merely making an empty threat. She truly intended to leave this house tonight, and he absolutely could not let her have her way.
“I found a place. I’m going there.”
“Don’t lie. I know you couldn’t sign the lease.”
Perhaps he was even more agitated than she was, because he committed a fatal mistake. No—he was beginning to feel so self-loathing that he wondered if, despite his uselessly high IQ, he had always been an incredibly stupid man.
He could not take back the words he had already spoken, and the look in her eyes as she stared at him twisted with disbelief.
“Don’t tell me… Is that true?”
“……”
“Did you investigate me? And was it you who stopped me from signing the lease…?”
Tilting his head to the side, he drew a deep breath. The more he tried to straighten things out, the more tangled and twisted they seemed to become. Damn it. Every possible curse he could direct at himself filled his mind to the brim.
Knowing he could not deceive her, whose eyes already held certainty, he confessed the truth.
“How could you live in a place like that, no matter how desperate you were? Rather than live in such an absurd place…”
Douwook met her icy gaze and closed his mouth. Damn. He had apparently lost more points again. His head felt ready to split. He was aware that he ought to choose his words carefully, but there was no way he could change overnight. Having spent his entire life speaking however he pleased and expressing himself without restraint, he was not skilled at words or actions considerate of others.
“That was nonsense. I’m sorry about that, too.”
Regardless of anything else, he had decided that now was definitely the time to back down. His desire to continue living with her had not changed, but it was obvious that their relationship would only deteriorate further in this state.
“All right. Let’s separate for now and properly, rationally, discuss and come to an agreement. I’ll find you a house. So… no, just stay here. I’ll give you this house. It’s more comfortable to stay somewhere familiar, isn’t it?”
“No.”
“Why do you keep saying no to everything?”
“I can find a suitable place on my own, so don’t interfere.”
The more he tried to hold on to her, the stronger her opposition seemed to become. Her speech, usually as smooth as flowing water, was combative unlike usual. Lowering his rising voice, he asked,
“Where’s this suitable place?”
Though he was trying hard to feign composure as he questioned her, she seemed to understand that he meant not to let her take even one step outside unless she answered. Lowering her gaze, she opened her tightly pressed lips.
“I have no intention of freezing to death outside in this cold. I’ll go somewhere—anywhere, even a hotel, tonight, so please, just stop now.”
At the word hotel, his brows furrowed sharply.
“You’re going to a hotel? Why on earth…? There’s no need to make things so inconvenient. I told you I’d leave. If that’s what you want, I can go right now.”
“I don’t know why you keep saying the same thing. This isn’t about whether you leave or not. I don’t want to stay here.”
Once again, he suppressed his anger with patience. He had to endure it. If he didn’t, things would only get worse.
“Fine. Then the hotel. Which one?”
“Just… somewhere suitable, anywhere…”
“I said somewhere suitable!”
In the end, unable to hold back, he shouted, then clamped his mouth shut and paused to catch his breath. When he spoke again, his voice was even lower.
“The hotel. Somewhere suitable. Where? I’m asking where you’re going.”
She was stubbornly insisting on packing her things and leaving in the middle of the night, yet she would not even tell him exactly where she intended to go. The frustration was driving him insane.
“I’ll decide while I’m on my way out.”
“If you keep acting like this, you won’t be taking a single step out of—”
“What right do you have to say whether you’ll let me leave or not? Am I your slave? Why can’t I go wherever I want on my own two feet?”
“A slave? You’ve been saying things like whore and slave since earlier. Why do you keep using words like that? Are you deliberately trying to provoke me?”
At the rough, hoarse sound of his voice, Seonha lifted her lowered gaze and met his eyes. Her eyes were so cold and hollow that he almost wondered whether she was truly the same woman. Yet unlike earlier, when they had been violently stirred by emotions such as anger and agitation, they were dark and still, deepening the inexplicable sense of unease in him.
“You said you wanted to make another contract with me, didn’t you?”
As on the day they had first met, she pierced straight through his defenses with calm yet lucid eyes.
“For how long?”
“What?”
“If we make a contract this time, how long will it last? It won’t be forever.”
Dowook’s expression went blank.
How long? Forever?
Questions he had never once considered sent a storm swirling through his mind, to the point that he wondered whether he had truly been this much of an idiot.
He had never consciously thought about it until now, but there was the quiet, honest feeling sleeping inside him—that he might be content to spend the rest of his life with her. And there was the fundamental question of whether it was normal to cling to her this desperately, even if he had grown accustomed to their married life and found it comfortable. All of it shook him to the core.
“……”
“You said I wasn’t a whore or a slave, but you never really thought of me as your wife either.”
The final words Seonha murmured sadly pierced his ears and squeezed painfully around his heart. Her wounded voice would not leave him, and the dull ache in his chest refused to stop.
The unfamiliar agony froze even his mind for a moment. In that brief instant, Seonha had already disappeared from in front of him.
Coming to his senses, he cursed harshly and ran out through the entrance, but he missed her by a split second as the elevator doors closed.
“Damn it!”
The numbers rapidly descending from the top floor became one in an instant. The elevator’s pointlessly fast speed sent his temper soaring. He slammed his fist, the veins standing out hard, into the wall of the hallway, then closed his stiff, gritty eyes.
He should have made absolutely sure which hotel she intended to go to tonight.
His mind was so tangled it felt ready to burst, and he could not even feel the pain from the wounded back of his hand. Would she answer if he called? She was already furious—what if it only made things worse? What if she got angry again, accusing him of interfering and asking whether she was a slave who couldn’t go anywhere without his permission?
His anxious, desperate breaths spread heavily through the air. Uncharacteristically hesitating, Dowook ultimately failed to press the contact labeled Seonha and called another number instead. He had a feeling he would not be able to sleep a wink until he found out exactly where she would be unpacking her things and laying her head down for the night.