Episode 26
“The reason I came… was simply that the timing happened to work out. Even if it hadn’t been me, you probably would have been all right, Major.”
“Surely not. Did Lord Ezekail not tell you? He may not show it outwardly, but he must think of you as his benefactor, Rose. He is a soldier, after all. Very clear about where credit is due.”
The more Mrs. Serva praised her for her merit, the heavier the debt in her heart became, a debt she could speak of to no one. It was not something for which she ought to be thanked. It had only been a desperate struggle to make up for her sin, however belatedly.
There were far too many secrets she had to carry alone.
Just then, from afar, came the report that the bath had been prepared. Rose turned away, pretending to be busy, and escaped that seat that felt like a bed of thorns.
Leaning back in the warm tub, Ezekail listened to the rustling sounds of Rose pacing about. Even after she had placed all the necessary items in their proper positions, she could not bring herself to leave the vicinity of the bathroom. She was likely worried that an accident might happen the moment she took her eyes off him. Throughout all the suffering he had endured from the withdrawal symptoms, Rose had not left his side for even an instant. She was a woman of delicate consideration.
He spoke toward the faint presence that brushed softly at his ears.
“Come in, Rose.”
“…Pardon?”
Her voice, questioning him back, was clearly flustered.
“You were shut up in the room with me all this time too.”
When he could not swallow food, she had starved with him; when he could not sleep, she had stayed awake through the night with him. On top of that, when he thrashed about in agony, she had thrown her whole body against him to struggle with him. Naturally, Rose’s body must be just as stained with sweat and wounds.
“I can use the common bathroom later.”
The common bathroom? Was there a common bathroom in this mansion?
Ezekail groped through his hazy memories. But it had been far too long since he had seen this cold Derosa villa with his own two eyes, and as its master, he had had no particular need to inspect the servants’ quarters, so nothing came to mind.
Only, comparing it to the Valdemaera mansion in the capital, the servants’ common areas were cramped to begin with, and unless one timed it well with the fires being lit for cooking or with the preparation of the master’s bathwater, it was difficult to obtain hot water.
“It will be cold.”
“It isn’t cold.”
“Do you boil water separately? Then you mean to leave me alone while you do?”
“No, I don’t take long.”
Ever since she had deceived him about the color of her hair, Rose had made a habit of washing herself quickly at dawn or whenever no one was around. Since laundry work and serving as his personal attendant did not require her to gather at the same hour and begin the day’s tasks like the other servants, she was able to find small moments of time.
“Is there hot water prepared in the laundry room? But this late at night, the laundry room’s work should be finished as well.”
The successive questions were quite unexpected. By nature, he was a man who had taken no interest whatsoever in the trivial affairs of the mansion. Moreover, there was no need for a master to consider every circumstance of his servants.
Rose decided not to reveal that the laundry room and the common bathroom were far apart. And even if there were hot water in the laundry room, the very act of transferring heavy water into a bucket and carrying it back and forth was troublesome. She had never even thought of doing such a thing.
Besides, there was no way the servants had the leisure to enjoy a relaxed bath. They were all people employed solely for Ezekail’s convenience. With the exception of Mrs. Serva, whose rank was high and whose age required her to take care of her health, Rose and the other servants were all busy preparing for the day by hastily washing with cold water.
“It’s all right. Please don’t worry about me.”
Rose’s answer was brief. Only then did her “It isn’t cold” reach Ezekail’s ears as “I can endure it well.”
She was already slender, and after all the hardships she had endured, she must have grown weak as well. And in the midst of that, she seemed determined to wash with cold water, catch a cold, and collapse ill.
“Come here, Rose.”
He crooked a finger.
“Are you uncomfortable somewhere?”
Rose walked over with soft steps. He detected, as if by instinct, the hand she placed on the edge of the tub and caught it.
“Get in.”
“….”
But this time as well, she did not obediently let herself be pulled in. He could feel her stubbornly clinging to the tub and resisting with all her might.
Ezekail tilted his head slightly.
Last time, she had tried to sneak away in the middle of a kiss, and today, too, her hesitation was prolonged.
After they had seen everything there was to see, was there still anything left to be embarrassed about?
Ezekail deliberately tossed out a joke that would make Rose blanch.
“Why are you acting reserved now? You’ve already stripped me down and seen every inch of me, haven’t you? And I know enough about you as well.”
“Stripped you down? Me?”
As he had expected, Rose startled violently.
Anyone listening would think I had pounced on him. A mere maid, daring to do such a thing to the master of the mansion.
Good heavens. Her face felt hot. For no reason, she glanced around and tried to calm the heat rising in her cheeks.
The man, who had been submerged deeply in the water and leaning back at an angle, suddenly straightened his upper body. Glossy droplets rolled down, momentarily veiling the brutal scars that asserted their presence even in the dim shadows.
Even though it was the same naked body, it felt different from when he had been someone she had to nurse.
Back then, if she did not cool the high fever that muddled his consciousness, if she did not stop the force with which he hurled himself about as though he might shatter some part of himself, if she did not calm the sensory disorder that made him scratch at his skin to catch insects that were not there and tear at his flesh until he bled, she had felt such urgency that there was no room for any other emotion. And so she had simply accepted him as a patient.
But now…
“The situation is different.”
It was the unmistakable silhouette of a man. Fundamentally different from her.
“What’s different? You and I must have rolled around naked dozens of times.”
“….”
“Ah, is it because my body is too hideous to look at? It is rather rough-looking.”
“That’s not it. Absolutely not.”
Rose denied it in haste. She hated that misunderstanding. She had thought his body, riddled with scars after surviving the war, was tragic, but she had never considered it hideous.
“Then what? Are you afraid I might do something to you?”
Ezekail asked in a low voice.
For a moment, she was struck speechless. Rose stood still for a while, then gazed at Ezekail, who still had not released the hand he had seized as if to keep her from fleeing.
“…Are you going to?”
At the question she returned to him, Ezekail lifted one corner of his mouth. It was an expression that already held the answer.
“I intend to.”
All at once, her heartbeat thudded. Suddenly, the blood throughout her body began to race.
“So come in.”
It was strange. Only a moment ago she had been perfectly fine, but now the air rapidly thinned and her breathing grew hurried. She was so stunned that she could not easily open her mouth. She was confused.
“How…”
“How is for me to figure out.”
Rose, rarely losing her composure, was adorable. Ezekail leisurely drew her toward him.
“You just don’t be frightened.”
The rich scent of flowers made dizziness sweep over her. The bathwater, filled with floating dried fragrant flowers, exuded a fragrance no less than fresh blossoms. But there was no way this dizziness was merely because of the floral scent.
It was because of this man.
Just as she was about to be pulled in, she pleaded that she would only take off and put away her clothes, and managed to escape for a brief moment. After neatly folding her clothes, she tried to sit at a slight distance because the tension lingering in the air felt heavy, but she failed immediately. He pinpointed her position exactly by sound.
“Rose.”
The man’s low voice suddenly brushed her ear. Rose, who had been staring down at the muscles of his arm as it reached from behind her and gently crossed her waist, lifted her head.
“You are truly strange.”
The water rustled softly, transmitting its ripples.
“At times you act quite boldly, and then suddenly you become extremely cautious. You are as gentle as can be, and then, all at once, you put distance between us.”
This was bad. Since earlier, the thud, thud of her intensifying heartbeat showed no sign of settling down. She held her breath and tightened her chest.
“So if I’m not touching you like this, it feels as though you are farther away than I think.”
Her heart stung. Even while having lost one of his most important senses, he had still perceived her contradictions in the dark. He knew nothing, yet he had pointed out this confusion of hers, where she would muster enough courage to be called bold, only to retreat abruptly under the restraint of her conscience. She wondered if that was the sixth sense he had built up wandering through battlefields.
“Rose, you came to this mansion for my sake, didn’t you?”
She sensed some intention in the question.
Rose turned over the sentence he had thrown at her.
To say she had come solely for him left a faint bitterness behind, because her own intentions had not been pure. Still, even if her motive had not come from complete goodwill, the reason she had set foot on this unfamiliar land of Derosa, even going so far as to suspend her studies, and resolved to make this place her second home, was indeed this man.
Was this anxiety, or was it trembling?
Pressing down on her violently surging heart, Rose answered.
“Yes. I came here to meet you, Major.”
“Then don’t leave my side.”
Strength entered Ezekail’s arm. His chest pressed tightly against her back.
In that instant, Rose silently swallowed her breath.