[Chapter 136] — Alcohol Is Meant to Be Shared with Adults (1)
As I returned to the detached palace holding Titania’s hand, the sky that had been painted with sunset quickly turned black, and it gradually became time for Titania to return to the main palace.
Since she returned to the main palace at this hour every day, before dinner, I knew without her having to say anything. Titania only released my hand after we arrived in my room, wearing a slightly bitter expression.
“Mother, could I perhaps...”
Titania asked me as she unlocked the handcuffs.
“...Could we stay in the same room from now on? Like we used to...”
The moment she inserted the key into the handcuffs, Titania rolled only her eyes to look at me. Seeing her gaze pleading with me, I could do nothing but smile bitterly.
I was sorry to Titania, but we had come too far for our relationship to return to “the way it used to be.” Because of my mistakes, and because of Titania’s mistakes, our relationship had strayed slightly from that of “mother and daughter.”
The child pleading before my eyes could no longer see me as her “mother,” and ever since hearing Titania’s confession, I too had begun looking at her with eyes slightly different from before.
No matter how hard I tried not to be conscious of Titania, I couldn’t help being conscious of her.
The gaze Titania sent me. The way she treated me. I couldn’t help being aware of every bit of it, and I was the one who found it difficult. I had to remain on edge at every single one of Titania’s actions...
If possible, I wanted to return to the way things used to be as well. To the time when I would wake from sleep and see Titania’s face, sleeping in my arms as though she were truly happy. How wonderful would it be if I could go back to then?
But...
“...You know that going back to the way things were is difficult.”
“...I’m sorry. I was just saying it.”
Click.
The handcuffs came undone, and Titania also took a step away from me. These days, the distance between Titania and me was neither close nor far. A truly ambiguous distance—close enough that it seemed I could reach her if I stretched out my hand, yet somehow still out of reach.
Titania took another step back and looked at me with a bitter smile.
That attitude of hers pained me. It was as though she was trying to maintain a certain boundary because she no longer wanted to hurt me. Even while chaining me up, she did nothing beyond holding my hand.
That was why, honestly, I was terribly confused. I had thought that Titania, claiming that she liked me, would try to press her lips against mine whenever she found an opening, just as she had before. But since then, all she had done was hold my hand or interlace her fingers with mine.
If she had embraced me like she used to, saying that she liked me, it would have been easier to push her away. But with her acting like this, it was difficult even to reject her. If this was actually some strategist’s scheme to arouse my sympathy, then there was no better strategist than her.
“...I’ll be going back now. May I come visit you again tomorrow?”
“...Yes.”
Only after I gave her permission to visit again the next day did the corners of Titania’s eyes curve pleasantly. I saw her off as she returned to the main palace, and only then was I able to collapse onto my bed.
“I’m exhausted...”
Would I have to stay this tense every time I met Titania from now on? Was I worrying too much? But no matter what, I couldn’t cross the boundary between mother and daughter.
For some reason, I felt as if the moment I relaxed even a little, Titania would seize the opportunity and suddenly plunge into me. Plunge all the way to a place from which we could never turn back. I had to prevent that from happening.
As I lay on the bed, blankly staring at the ceiling, a thought suddenly occurred to me. What if—truly, just what if—Titania never gave up on me and continued wanting me until the very end? What would happen then?
No. There was no point in asking myself that question.
If Titania was anything like the child I had known, it was clear that she would never give up on me for the rest of her life. She would want me until the very end and intend to keep me by her side. She was already doing exactly that.
The question I should be asking myself instead was...
Could I continue rejecting her until the very end?
‘I...’
At that very moment, while I was lost in thought, I heard a knock-knock from the terrace. I raised my head and looked outside, where I saw Veronica gently waving at me, greeting me cheerfully.
“Veronica...?”
“...It’s been a while, Vivian.”
I hurried over to the terrace and opened the door for her. Veronica greeted me with an awkward smile. The moment I saw her face, anger surged through me as I remembered being kidnapped and imprisoned all that time.
“Why are you only coming now...!”
Judging by the fact that she had come to see me now that Titania and I had reconciled, Veronica must have been on Titania’s side. That was why she was only showing her face to me now. I was angry that she hadn’t come to find me all this time, but...
“...You can explain properly, one thing at a time, why you didn’t come looking for me all this time, can’t you...?”
“O-Of course...”
...At the very least, I should hear her explanation first. Finding out what had happened to Veronica during that time came before scolding Veronica, Ainsel, and Katarina. But...
“First, let’s start with you taking one hit.”
Unable to hold myself back, I flicked Veronica on the head.
Whack!
“Ow!”
*
Veronica sat in a chair, groaning as she thought for a moment about how she should explain things. She bit her lip, seemingly unsure where or how to begin, then finally opened her mouth.
“...The truth is, I was watching over things to some extent.”
“What?”
“I attached one of Ainsel’s fragments to Titania’s jewelry, so whenever Titania went to see you, I watched the situation through that fragment.”
My shoulders trembled involuntarily at Veronica’s explanation. She had been watching whenever Titania came to see me? Then did that mean she had also witnessed ‘that situation’ when Titania had forced herself on me?
When I groaned and glared at Veronica, she grinned broadly and looked at me as though teasing me. Ah. So she had seen that too? The moment I saw that expression on Veronica’s face, my fist rose on its own.
“If you were watching, couldn’t you have secretly helped me? Do you have any idea how much I...!”
“I was working hard behind the scenes, you know? If I hadn’t been there, you would have broken down long ago. I wasn’t watching over you—I was monitoring whether Titania crossed the ‘line’ or not.”
“...Monitoring?”
“Yes, monitoring. It’s a good thing I was watching this situation. If it had just been you and Titania alone... Can you imagine what might have happened? I was preventing things from reaching that point.”
...Was that really so? I wasn’t sure. Veronica let out a deep sigh and shook her head as though she truly couldn’t have done anything else. Then she rested her chin on the table and continued speaking as if lamenting her fate.
“After you left, I tried my best to take care of Titania, just as you asked me to. But even though Titania called me ‘sister,’ she didn’t really rely on me all that much.”
“......”
“To Titania, you were the only person who was truly family. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fill the place you left behind. You must be happy, being loved by your daughter.”
“...The problem is that her love is too heavy.”
Veronica let out a small laugh at my answer. Yes, the problem was that her love was too heavy and had changed so much from before. The love Titania wanted from me was no longer merely the love one sought from a mother.
“Don’t hate Titania too much. After you left, she broke down so badly that she eventually collapsed completely. The only thing that kept her going was her determination to bring you back.”
“...Was it really that bad?”
“It was. Though not as bad as Father.”
At Veronica’s mention of “Father,” old memories flashed through my mind. The image of this country’s “king,” shut away in a secluded room while longing for Aurora. Could she mean that Titania might have ended up the same way?
For a moment, I felt all the blood drain from my body. I remembered Titania crying as she told me that she had suffered after I left, and that she wanted me to feel even a little of that pain.
“......I see.”
Silence settled between Veronica and me for a while. I couldn’t say anything more, and Veronica seemed to be the same. The one who eventually broke the silence was Veronica, who let out a quiet sigh.
“Anyway, I’m currently researching the ‘Fairy Egg’ together with Ainsel and Katarina.”
“...What? With Ainsel and Katarina??”
Ainsel was one thing, but Katarina? Katarina was a witch of the Coven, wasn’t she? Wasn’t Veronica not supposed to get involved with the witches of the Coven? Veronica paused for a moment before beginning to explain about Katarina.
She said that the contract to ‘protect’ me had been dissolved the moment I took the medicine Titania gave me. After that, Katarina had entered into a contract with Titania and was now staying in the cabin to help Veronica with her research.
“...Are witch contracts really that lax?”
“Not all of them are... Anyway, Katarina is doing fine now, so you don’t need to worry about her. Apparently, she’s been calling Brownie ‘Mom’ lately. Is it Katarina’s habit to call just anyone ‘Mom’?”
“......I don’t know any such hopeless daughter. As of today, I’ve disowned her.”
A hollow laugh escaped me because the whole thing was so absurd. She had set aside the contract she made with me and was now living while calling a dwarf her mother? So as long as someone treated her well, she called them Mom regardless of whether they were a fairy or anything else?
‘How much care had I devoted to looking after her for the past two years...!’
My stomach churned with betrayal. When I met her later, I felt I would need to hit her at least once to feel satisfied. When I let out a deep sigh, Veronica, watching me, began to giggle.
“What are you laughing about...?”
“No, it’s just... I’m happy that I get to see your face and talk with you again after so long. Maybe it’s because you went through the trouble of trying to sell things like snacks in the countryside, even though it didn’t suit you? Have you lost a little weight?”
Without realizing it, I turned my head away from Veronica’s steady gaze as she rested her chin on her hand. When I turned away, Veronica tapped her fingers lightly against the table and continued.
“...And there’s one thing I’d like to ask of you.”
“Ask?”
When I turned back to look at Veronica, she was gazing at me with a somewhat serious expression, unlike the smile she had worn earlier. She looked a little worried—or perhaps simply uncertain.
“If you’re all right with it, could you come to the cabin later? There’s something I’d like to discuss regarding the ‘Fairy Egg.’”
“With me...? I wonder if I’d be any help...?”
“Yes. It’s not really a question about magic or fairies... I just have something I want to ask you. And shouldn’t you see Katarina’s face too?”
I didn’t think I needed to see that girl’s face in particular... When I tilted my head, Veronica’s eyes softened, and she gave me a calm smile. Since I didn’t have anything else to do, I thought it would be fine and nodded.
“...I don’t know whether I’ll be of any help, but call me whenever you need me.”
“Thank you. I’ll set a date soon and let you know.”
As though the conversation were over, Veronica rose from her seat. When I said it was a shame our conversation was already ending, Veronica gave me a bitter smile and said she couldn’t help it because she was busy with her research.
Just as Veronica was about to leave through the terrace, she turned to look at me as though she had forgotten something. When I asked what it was, she hesitated for a moment before continuing.
“Come to think of it, didn’t Titania ask you to live together?”
“...She did, but I don’t think I can do that much for her yet.”
“...Is that so? Still, think about it a little.”
Why are you saying that too? I was already confused enough to feel like I was going to die. When I frowned, Veronica’s lips moved soundlessly for a moment before she let out a small sigh and continued.
“Titania hasn’t been able to sleep properly since you left. She often has nightmares too. It’s probably because of the shock of being separated from you, so please forgive her if she acts a little spoiled.”
“...Isn’t that a little unfair?”
“You were the one who told me to look after Titania ‘as her sister.’”
Was that why Titania had looked at me with such a pained, affectionate expression earlier? Even she must have thought that asking to live together was too soon, but perhaps she had done it because she couldn’t endure otherwise. Really, ever since yesterday, I had had more than enough sympathy to spare.
I let out a deep sigh and asked Veronica to do something for me.
“...Since it’s a good opportunity, go tell Titania this.”
“What should I tell her?”
“Tell her to bring some decent liquor and snacks and come back here. And tell her... that I’ll keep my promise.”
The promise Titania and I had made at the tavern long ago. I had promised that when Titania became an adult, when she graduated from the academy, I would teach her how to drink. It was already very late, but I supposed I would have to keep that promise little by little from now on. Besides, wouldn’t drinking help her sleep better?
“...All right. Could I join you next time?”
“Anytime, as long as you bring the liquor and snacks.”
Veronica smiled at my answer. She beamed brightly, turned around again, and stepped outside through the terrace—only to vanish without a trace.
I sat back down on the bed and quietly waited for Titania. When I lowered my head, I saw the pure-white negligee I was wearing. Even so, drinking alcohol while wearing pajamas probably wasn’t quite right, was it?
I couldn’t properly explain why, but I felt that I shouldn’t drink with Titania while wearing such a see-through nightgown. Somehow, I had the feeling that if things went wrong, I might make a truly serious mistake.
I hurried to the wardrobe and took out a thicker set of pajamas, something that was at least less transparent. Something that looked a little less provocative and covered my skin.
Honestly, who would have thought I’d have to worry about things like this too...!