A Slightly Dark IF [133 - Episode 1] — A Red Collar for You (1)
*Continues from Episode 132 onward.*
“...I’m sorry. I’ve been terribly busy with work. I’m very late, aren’t I?”
“N-no, not really? On the contrary, being alone gave me plenty of time to think.”
Titania glanced down at Vivian. Though her mother said she had enjoyed being alone, her face was plainly steeped in relief, completely at odds with her words.
She had noticed Titania’s arrival and come to greet her at the door. The relaxed expression she wore as she let out a sigh of relief. Her fingers fidgeting, unsure where to place themselves. Her mother was unmistakably different from how she had been four days ago.
Titania curved her eyes into a smile as she watched her, then took Vivian’s restless hand and led her into the room. She could feel her mother’s hand trembling faintly against her own.
“I’m sorry. I tried to come see you as soon as I could, but I just couldn’t find the time.”
“N-no, it’s all right. Hoo...”
Titania smiled faintly at the sight of Vivian sighing in relief once more. Her mother looked, to anyone watching, just like a puppy that had thought its owner had abandoned it.
‘Have you understood how I felt, even a little?’
The loneliness of being left behind. It was impossible to understand that pain without experiencing it firsthand. That was why Titania intended to make Vivian experience it herself—again, after her mother had pushed her away.
Just how tormented and lonely she had been while her mother was gone.
‘I’m sorry, but it was all your fault, Mother.’
Had four days been too long? Seeing Vivian’s anxious expression made Titania feel both sorry for her and endeared to her. She could not help but smile at the change in her mother, who seemed to understand her feelings, if only a little, at last.
Vivian fidgeted with her fingers, then sighed once more and raised her head to look at Titania. As though she wanted to bring this situation to an end as quickly as possible, she urged Titania on.
“So, have you had some time to think?”
“...Think?”
For a moment, Vivian was overcome with emotion. At Titania’s bewildered expression, as though she had completely forgotten, Vivian raised her voice in anger.
“You...! You said you needed time to sort out your thoughts! You asked me to wait for you...! So...!”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had any time for personal matters. You know, don’t you? You know what position I hold now. Being queen isn’t exactly a comfortable position.”
Vivian’s shoulders flinched. Faced with an answer that made it impossible for her to remain angry, Vivian bit her lower lip and somehow swallowed her anger.
Titania wore an expression of genuine apology as she knelt on one knee and covered the back of Vivian’s hand with both of hers. Then, smiling sweetly, she looked up at Vivian.
“I’m truly sorry. Honestly, how could I make such a decision? The only reason I can endure this difficult, exhausting situation is because you’re by my side, Mother.”
“......”
“So, could you give me just a little more time to think? I don’t know when I’ll have my thoughts sorted out... but I ‘promise’ I’ll sort them out as ‘quickly’ as possible. When that time comes...”
Titania glanced at Vivian’s shackle. Her gaze seemed to suggest that she would unlock it once she had finished thinking. It was a gaze that encouraged precisely such a ‘misunderstanding.’
In the end, Vivian nodded silently.
“Thank you so much, Mother. I really think I’m able to endure all this because of you. Things have been so difficult ever since I became queen. So please, stay by my side for just a little longer. All right?”
“...All right.”
In the end, Vivian clenched her teeth and answered.
Titania’s words—‘just a little’—seemed to echo in her ears. How could she refuse when Titania was pleading this desperately? Besides, she had promised it would only be for a little while. A little longer should be fine.
“It really is... only a little.”
Vivian narrowed her eyes and glared at Titania. Titania smiled as though she were genuinely happy and nodded. But the moment Vivian gave her permission—
“Then, I’ll be going now.”
“W-wait, already...?”
“Yes. I only made time to see your face, Mother. I should get back right away.”
Titania spoke coldly and rose from her seat. How many minutes had passed? It had not even been ten minutes, yet Titania was already preparing to leave. Vivian’s pupils shook as though an earthquake had struck.
“I’ll come see you sooner next time.”
“Ah...”
Titania offered her a brief farewell. As she turned her back and moved to leave the room, Vivian instinctively reached out, then flinched and hastily returned her hand to its place.
‘What would holding her back accomplish? She said she’d come again soon anyway.’
Vivian gave an awkward smile and simply watched Titania leave the room. She did not even say goodbye. She only watched.
Once the room had fallen silent again, Vivian drew in and exhaled a deep breath.
In a room so quiet that even the air seemed still, only the sound of her breathing lingered in her ears. It was unbearably silent, as though the voice she had heard only moments ago had been nothing more than a lie.
‘...I’ll wait.’
Vivian let out a small sigh and collapsed facedown on the bed. She shook the shackle fastened around her ankle beneath the bed, filling the room with the clinking sound of the chains. Anything to make the silence disappear, even a little.
‘...She promised.’
She had promised to come sooner next time. Surely she would come within two days at the latest. With nothing but the thought of waiting for Titania in her heart, Vivian quietly closed her eyes and tried to sleep.
* IF begins
But Titania did not come the next day, nor the day after that. Her insides burned with pain at Titania’s lie—she had promised, had clearly said she would come early, and yet she never came.
The books and pastimes the maids used to bring her stopped coming as well. She began to cry more often, feeling as though she had been trapped in an eternity of repeating days. In truth, she was so anxious that she felt she might go mad at any moment.
No matter how favorably she tried to think of it, being kidnapped and imprisoned by her beloved daughter was an act she could never accept. She could not understand how someone could imprison her while claiming to love her.
‘She said she needed time to think...’
Titania’s words continued to echo in her ears. ‘Give me time to think.’ Those words felt like heavy shackles. Just how long was she supposed to wait? No—would Titania ever finish thinking?
A chill ran through her at the thought that every word Titania had spoken was a lie, and that she might remain imprisoned in this room for the rest of her life. With the way Titania was now, such a thing seemed entirely possible.
Shaking her head, I cast away those terrible thoughts and decided to escape first. Facing Titania’s feelings and speaking with her would only be possible after leaving this room.
But how?
The chain might have been thin, but there was no way I could break it with my own strength. Fortunately, thanks to Titania’s ‘consideration,’ the shackle around my ankle was made of ‘leather.’ Thick leather.
As I stared blankly down at the leather shackle around my ankle—
“Your Majesty, it’s time to eat.”
A maid entered without knocking and roughly set the plate of food down on the desk with a loud bang. I had thought so since last time, but the maid who had recently been assigned here clearly did not like me very much.
‘Titania said she had chosen this maid herself, after carefully selecting her...’
Was that why? The maid’s behavior was that of someone who avoided and despised me. Had she been angry at me because she had been removed from her work in the main palace and demoted to this secondary palace?
“For the sake of that wretched bitch...”
The maid muttered loudly enough for me to hear as she left the room, her gaze fierce. I wanted to say something to her, but that maid was not what mattered right now.
I rose from my seat and looked at the plate and utensils laid out on the desk. Then I picked up the ‘knife’ that had been left carelessly on the desk and began sawing at the section of the leather shackle where the lock was attached.
‘It’s lucky that the shackle will come undone if I can cut through only the leather attached to the lock.’
The knife was blunt, so it did not cut properly, but if I kept at it, it seemed as though it would eventually give way. Rubbing the knife against the leather produced no sawing sound, only a soft scraping, but I continued all the same.
I had nothing else to do while trapped here, and I needed some kind of goal to keep my anxiety at bay. Even if only to forget my fear, I rubbed the shackle against the knife frantically, until the leather seemed ready to catch fire.
And so, after rubbing the knife against the leather for two days while avoiding the maid’s eyes—
With a sudden snap, the section connecting the lock and the shackle broke off. The lock fell to the floor, and I felt the leather shackle that had been wrapped around my ankle loosen.
“Good...!”
Just as I cried out in delight—
“What’s good?”
I could not help but stop breathing at the voice coming from ahead of me. At some point, Titania had entered the room and was standing by the door, arms crossed as she looked down at me. With a faint smirk, she approached my frozen form.
My heart pounded, and cold sweat trickled down my neck.
Why? Why? Why on earth?
She knew. She knew. She knew. She knew.
Titania came over and lifted my chin, but my mind had gone completely blank, leaving me unable to move or make an excuse. All I could do was avoid Titania’s gaze.
When Titania’s breath brushed against my skin, it felt as though my heart had sunk. No—it had definitely sunk. The strength drained from my legs, and I collapsed onto the floor, my shoulders trembling as I looked up at Titania.
“...You remember what I told you, don’t you?”
“Ah, uh...”
Titania frowned and forcibly tilted my head up. Then she narrowed her eyes and studied my neck intently, as though gauging what kind of collar would suit me.
“I told you the next step would be a collar, didn’t I?”
“Ti-Titania, you see, there’s...”
“...I think red would suit you, Mother.”
Without even listening to my excuse, Titania smiled sweetly, turned around, and left the room. Only belatedly did I rush after her toward the door.
Click! Click, click!
“Ti-Titania?! Titania! Open this door!”
The door, which was never locked under ordinary circumstances, had been firmly secured. Bang! Bang! Bang! I pounded on it frantically with my fists, but the tightly shut door showed no sign of opening. In the end, I screamed and sobbed that I was sorry.
“I-I’m sorry! Titania! I was wrong! Titania!! Titania!!”
My sobs did not reach Titania. After crying until my voice grew hoarse in front of the door, I sank to the floor.
Then the locked door opened, and Titania entered, holding a bright red dog collar in one hand.
“N-no. I don’t want it. No...”
I did not want a collar. It felt like an act of casting away the last shred of human dignity. It made me certain that Titania intended to raise me here like a pet for the rest of my life. I would rather die than wear that collar.
I remained on my knees and begged Titania until the heat of my pressed-together palms seeped into my chest. I begged her not to do it, told her I did not want it. No matter what, was I not her mother?
But Titania ignored me and grasped my neck with one hand. Then she wrapped her fingers around my throat and stared at me intently. Her face was focused, as though she were measuring something.
“I-I’m sorry, Titania... All right? I think I must have gone crazy for a moment... You—you weren’t coming, and... I was so anxious... I was afraid you might lock me in here for the rest of my life...”
“...Don’t move, unless you want me to choke you.”
Titania narrowed her brow and warned me, as though I were merely a nuisance. Her voice was unbearably cold, calm, and low.
Before long, the cold red collar began to touch my neck.
When I tried to pull away from the chill of the leather against my skin, Titania finally seized my chin and held my head in place. All I could do was cry and plead.
“I-I’m sorry... All right? I’m sorry...”
The only words that came to mind were apologies. What I was sorry for, what I had done wrong—none of that mattered. The only sound that escaped my lips was an apology.
Titania paid no attention to my pleas. With one hand, she fastened the bright red collar around my neck. She did not forget to attach the chain, either.
Having lost my humanity in an instant, I—
“...As I thought, red really does suit you, Mother.”
“Ah, ngh...”
“I told you not to run away, didn’t I, Mother?”
“Sniff, hic... sniff...”
“You don’t really want me to raise you for the rest of your life, do you?”
I nodded frantically. Each time I nodded, the foreign sensation of the collar around my neck felt strange, but for now, all I could do was nod along with Titania’s words.
“...Then wait quietly. Until I’m finished thinking.”