[Chapter 131] - Pleading
“Now please, don’t run away from me anymore.”
Clank— clank— As I moved my shackled ankle slightly, the chain connecting the bedpost and my leg shook, letting out a metallic clanking noise.
At the surreal situation, I let out a hollow laugh and raised my head to glare at Titania. Just what was Titania thinking? What on earth did she want to do with me?
I had thought I knew everything there was to know about Titania, but apparently that wasn’t the case. Right now, in this moment, I couldn’t understand Titania. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
I understood she was angry that I had run away again without a word. But shackles? Even though it was absurd enough to have been kidnapped and confined here, now she had even shackled my ankle?
I lowered my head and struggled to undo the shackles bound to my ankle. The shackles were made of leather, so they didn’t hurt much, but the chain connected to the bedpost showed no sign of breaking no matter what.
Blaming the shackles that showed no sign of coming loose no matter how much I pulled, I quickly gave up and growled at Titania in a low voice.
“Untie this right now.”
“I can’t do that.”
I glared at her, grinding my teeth, but Titania answered curtly without yielding to me. That she would never undo them. That this was the ‘punishment’ I deserved. Even if I was wrong…!
“It’s all Mother’s fault. You kept lying. Even when I pleaded with you not to go, you ran away. To keep a mother like that by my side, I have no choice but to tie her up like this, do I?”
“Even so, this is…!”
“I showed you plenty of ‘consideration’ for your sake, Mother. I prepared everything so you wouldn’t lack for anything while staying here. And yet, wasn’t it Mother who trampled on that consideration?”
I couldn’t say a word in response to Titania’s confident replies. There wasn’t a single thing she had said that was wrong. In the end, I lowered my head and could only plead with Titania, sniffling.
“I’m truly reflecting on my actions… so please undo them quickly. I promise I won’t run away again. Okay? No matter how you look at it, this is too cruel…?”
“If you were me, Mother, could you believe those words? Someone who always lied to me, never kept promises with me, and left my side without a word—you expect me to believe that?”
Titania answered with a scoffing laugh. At Titania’s attitude, which seemed to say she wouldn’t listen to anything more, only a hollow laugh burst out of me. A hollow, absurd, dry laugh.
Why on earth was she doing this to me?
I couldn’t get the faintest clue what Titania wanted from me.
Was she angry that I had left behind only a single letter? Or was she angry that I didn’t keep my promise? It was all my fault, but still, I thought doing this much was strange.
At the tap of Titania’s fingers against my cheek, I raised my head to look at her. Even though she had shackled me, why was she looking at me with such a woeful expression?
Now I really wanted to ask.
Why on earth to me—
“Why on earth… are you going this far with me…? Even if I did something wrong…”
“…I thought I had been quite obvious by now. You really don’t know?”
Titania caressed my cheek, smiling coquettishly with the corners of her eyes and lips curving gracefully. When I nodded my head slightly, Titania scoffed softly as if she had no choice and whispered to me.
“Are you asking me because you truly don’t know why I’m going this far with you, Mother? Really?”
“I don’t know… how on earth would I know? I know you’re obsessed with me. But this is too…”
The moment I tried to say that it was too much, Titania’s thumb touched my lips. Her finger pressed firmly on my upper lip, covering my mouth, so I couldn’t say another word.
Titania, who had been staring intently at my squashed lips, rolled her eyes to meet my gaze. Beyond her slightly shimmering red pupils, which appeared every time she blinked, my face was reflected clearly.
In that moment, a silence as if time had stopped descended. Under Titania’s gaze looking down at me intently, I felt every fine hair on my body bristling and standing on end.
At an inexplicable feeling, I instinctively tried to step back slightly, but Titania wrapped her arms around my waist as if telling me not to run, pulling me tightly against her.
With the sensation of the ground falling away beneath my feet, I was forced into Titania’s embrace. The moment I raised my head to push Titania away, telling her to stop.
Really, it happened in an instant.
Titania, who had been looking down at me as if mesmerized, gently cupped my face with both hands, tilted her head down, and overlaid her lips between my slightly parted ones.
It was a very short kiss, silent, not even making a sound, but it was enough time to feel the heat spreading from our touching lips. Moreover, even the fact that this kiss was not merely one between ‘family.’
It was enough time to feel that.
After our lips that had been softly rubbing together parted, Titania, with ears reddened to the tips and eyes that looked like she might cry at any moment, smiled brightly and looked at me.
Then she traced the lips that had touched hers and whispered to me.
“Because I love you.”
Not as a mother.
“It’s because I love you.”
As a woman.
*
The mother who heard the confession looked slightly bewildered. Had it been too sudden after all? But she felt she had to say it now like this. The shackles placed around her mother’s ankle were not enough.
The words of love spoken aloud would become shackles themselves, binding her mother tightly. It was cowardly, but it couldn’t be helped. Because if her mother ran away again, she felt she would truly go mad.
The mother in her arms answered in a trembling voice.
“I-I really like you too. There’s no way I could dislike you…? S-so that’s why…”
She had expected it, but as expected, her mother wasn’t trying to understand. No, she was trying to run away with her answer of ‘like.’ Titania let out a small sigh and gently stroked her mother’s trembling face.
“Mother, you know that’s not what I meant.”
Vivian closed her mouth as if she had been hit where it hurt. Looking at her mother, whose gaze remained directed downward, Titania smiled bitterly and continued slowly.
“…Honestly, I had intended to hide it from you for life. Because I know better than anyone that this ‘emotion’ I harbor for Mother is not normal.”
“……”
“So, I tried to be satisfied with having you by my side. That was enough. I tried to endure by your side, hiding my feelings for life. But…”
Titania lowered her head and looked at the shackles bound to Vivian’s ankle. She tapped the chain connected to the shackles with her foot, and the chain hit the floor, making a loud clanking noise.
“Because you keep trying to run away from my side……”
Titania rolled her eyes slightly to look at Vivian. At the sight of her mother unable to continue speaking, perhaps still confused, Titania felt bitter emotions and bit her lip.
‘As expected, was it too early?’
She thought it was too early to confess her feelings, but it couldn’t be helped. It was already spilled water that couldn’t be gathered back up. She hadn’t wanted to do this, but emotions she had suppressed and endured had slightly overflowed.
Titania clenched her lips tightly, struggling to control her emotions. The feelings she had barely managed to contain seemed ready to explode at any moment. Titania’s parted lips trembled, and soon a strangled sound flowed out.
“So please… stop… leaving… I think I’ll really go mad… Every time you disappear, I’m in such agony it feels like I’ll die…”
She couldn’t endure anymore. She could no longer control this emotion. She had tried to endure, but emotions weren’t something easily controlled. The feelings she had forcibly suppressed and endured had finally overflowed and collapsed.
The tears pooled at the corners of Titania’s eyes flowed down her cheeks.
“…I don’t think Mother will accept my feelings. Because this is my selfish emotion.”
“……”
“I just need Mother to be by my side. Just, only by my side. If you just stay by my side, I don’t need anything else. Just, only Mother, only by my side…”
“Titania…”
“Please, just stay by my side. I won’t be greedy. I love you. Please, don’t hate me. Please don’t leave my side. Just, just by my side…”
In the end, Titania’s reason collapsed. She pleaded, shedding tears in front of Vivian. Because of the tears, she couldn’t tell what expression her mother was looking at her with.
Was it a look of disgust? Or pity? Whatever the expression, it certainly wouldn’t be a good one. The sight of a daughter pleading her love for her adoptive mother was not a good sight.
Titania gripped Vivian’s collar tightly and wouldn’t let go. Her already pale hand turned even paler, so much so that her hand turned bone-white, clutching Vivian’s collar with all her strength. Like a child begging not to be abandoned.
“Please, just… stay by my side…”
If she didn’t do this, her mother would leave again. She had to do anything to prevent her mother from leaving once more. She could do anything for her mother.
Really, anything.
But it seemed her mother was not like that. She had said she just needed to stay still. She had pleaded like this, asking her to just stay by her side. Yet her mother…
“…Titania. Hurry… undo them.”
“Mother….”
“I…”
Clenching her eyes shut, Vivian shook off the hand Titania had grabbed and took a step back.
The expression with which Vivian looked at Titania was not one of disgust or revulsion. Rather, it was one that seemed filled with conviction, answering Titania’s heart.
“I cannot grant your request.”
“……”
Not knowing what emotions that answer would bring Titania in the future.
Vivian pushed Titania away. That they had to distance themselves further. That they had to put even more distance between them. Saying that was the right thing to do.
Vivian pushed away the pleading Titania.