[Episode 115] - Come Find Me
“...Will this do?”
Morning sunlight streamed in through the window where the curtains had been drawn back.
Gazing at the morning light that had settled over the stationery, I finished the letter I would leave for Titania. I had agonized over it all night, but in the end, it was only when morning came that I was able to write the letter I would leave behind for her.
There were so many things I wanted to say, but in the end, I could only write a few sentences. Because the end of all those long, meandering words pointed to just one thing. I placed the letter in an envelope and closed my eyes for a moment.
Thinking that today would be my last day here filled me with not just emotion, but anxiety. Would I be able to live well outside? I knew nothing except the ecosystem of the royal palace. Could I really start over?
I was anxious, but there was no helping it. Humans were creatures of adaptation, weren’t they? This unease would only last for a moment anyway. I had no choice but to believe that I would surely adjust well, even in a new place.
With that, I opened my eyes, rose from my seat, and began rummaging through the desk drawer. From deep inside it, I pulled out a single sheet of paper that had been stuck in a corner for about ten years, then stared at it.
‘I wonder if I can still use it?’
For the past three years, I had thought about how I would live outside after leaving the royal castle. Money would be more than enough anyway, so the question was what I would do once I got out. Getting a job would be fine, and living alone would be fine too.
Well, there were a lot of other things I had thought about as well. Should I take over an inn and become an innkeeper? I thought it might be nice to hear the stories of travelers coming and going. It would be difficult, but surely it would be fun.
Or should I open a pastry shop? Even before coming here, one of the jobs I had wanted to try if I had a lot of money was being a pâtissier. An owner who sold delicious food cheaply without worrying about ingredient costs. Just thinking about it was wonderful.
What else was there? Right, if I was going to live doing nothing, being a landlord was the best. I had enough money to buy a few buildings, so I could buy one and live off the rent. Being the ultimate unemployed person didn’t seem bad either.
‘Well... in the end, I couldn’t decide on anything.’
After thinking and thinking like that, the day came for me to leave the royal castle without deciding on anything after all. All of them sounded good, but with my shallow knowledge, I felt like I wouldn’t succeed.
What I had done until now was socialite work, or paperwork handled within the royal palace, or eating sweets and laughing pleasantly while catering to other people’s moods. In any case, none of it was useful outside.
So after giving up on everything, what I came up with in the end was leeching off an acquaintance for the time being. Living at an acquaintance’s house while paying them money and lazing around! If I could even find a job there, it would be perfect.
But the problem was that I didn’t have any acquaintances I was that close to. I couldn’t cling to the people I had met in society. The reason I had built up my reputation in society was for Titania’s sake, after all.
Besides, if I stayed with someone from society, Titania would come looking for me, and that would be troublesome. Then perhaps Lady Serina, who was at least a close friend? Lady Serina was difficult too. No, I didn’t want to be a nuisance to her.
That left me with exactly one option.
Quietly, I unfolded the faded, dust-covered paper.
Flash! Light burst from the paper, and soon an eerie smoke began to flow out of the wardrobe beside me. Why the wardrobe? Just as I had that thought, bang! The door flew open, and a silver-haired maid popped out of the wardrobe with a poof!
“You have finally called me, Princess. I have been waiting all this time.”
Hair of silver that looked as though it had been drawn out thin and wrought like fine metalwork. A girl with eyes as blue as a clear autumn sky lifted her head and cried out proudly.
“Now! We depart! To ‘Keobeun’ together with this Fran!”
*
Three months after Vivian left the royal castle.
“Titania, are you done packing?”
“Yeah! I’m done! Has the carriage from the royal castle arrived?”
“Yeah, it just arrived. They said they’ll leave as soon as the luggage is loaded.”
Having packed up all the belongings she had used during her three years at the dormitory, Titania answered Viola with a bright smile. After completing her three years of academy life, Titania could not stop smiling at the thought that she could finally return to the royal castle.
She wanted to leave this place even one minute, even one second sooner and run into her mother’s arms. How had her mother changed after three years? Would she be exactly as Titania remembered? Or perhaps had her hairstyle changed a little? It didn’t matter either way. Simply being able to see her mother made Titania happy.
“Come to think of it, where’s Fiona?”
“Fiona already left in a carriage from the Silverword Kingdom. I don’t know what she was in such a hurry for, but she left right after the graduation ceremony ended.”
“Reeeally?”
The corners of Titania’s mouth crept upward. In truth, she already knew. She knew that as soon as the graduation ceremony was over, Sister Veronica had to send Princess Fiona’s diploma to the Silverword Kingdom.
In other words, once she arrived at the royal castle, for a while it would be just her and her mother. Sister Veronica had said she would come to the castle by carriage too! Just her and her mother! Reuniting after three years, just her and her mother!
“Ehehehe!”
“You’re that happy?”
“Of course! I’m going back to Mother after three years... I mean, back home?!”
“It’s fine to tell me you’re happy because you’re seeing Her Majesty the Queen for the first time in three years. Do you think I don’t know you’re a mama’s girl? What am I supposed to do with our princess, still a mama’s girl at this age?”
“Ehehehe!”
Even at Viola’s teasing, Titania merely laughed. It was true that she was a mama’s girl, and there was no reason for her to feel offended by Viola’s teasing. Because it was true that she was happier about going to see her mother than about graduating from the academy.
Until Sister Veronica arrives, I’ll stick right to Mother! No, even if she comes, it doesn’t matter. For about the next year, I plan to cling to Mother’s side like a leech. I’ll sleep with Mother every day, eat with her, and stay with her. Since I couldn’t see her for three years, I’ll keep sticking to her!
Ah, what should I do first when I meet Mother? A hug, of course, right? I’ll jump down from the carriage and throw my arms around Mother. I’m taller now, so Mother will be the one held in my arms, won’t she? I’ll act adorably as much as I want to Mother while she’s in my arms, kiss her on the cheek, and kiss her on the lips too.
Indulging in unstoppable, wicked fantasies, Titania stamped her feet in joy. Normally, she would have tried to restrain herself a little, but she couldn’t hold it in. After all, she was meeting the person she loved for the first time in three years. How could she possibly endure it? She could hardly stand the anticipation.
As Titania stared only at the second hand of the clock and waited for time to pass quickly, there came a knock at the door, and at the same time, the coachman from the kingdom announced that all the luggage had been loaded.
“Princess, we can depart immediately. Shall we leave as we are?”
“Yes, let’s leave at once. How many days will it take to reach the kingdom?”
“Unlike three years ago, the road between the kingdom and the academy has been well maintained, so the distance that once took a week can now be covered in three days. If we run without rest, two days will be more than enough.”
“Then please run without rest.”
Titania waved goodbye to Viola, then followed the coachman out of the dormitory and climbed into the carriage. At last, it was time to return to the kingdom after three years.
Once she had boarded the carriage, Titania could not hide her swelling heart, her mouth twitching as the corners of her lips rose and fell. Even to the coachman, it was obvious at a glance that Titania was delighted.
“Hyah!”
At last, with a shout announcing their departure, the coachman swung the whip with all his strength. With a clattering sound, the carriage slowly began to move away from the hateful academy.
As she watched the academy recede outside the window, Titania felt as though she wanted to shout. Was this how a prisoner escaping from prison felt? She felt as if she wanted to dance, even though she couldn’t dance.
No, Titania resolved that once she returned to the royal castle, she would dance with her mother. She thought that dancing would be the most fitting way to convey this happiness to her mother.
‘I practiced the male part at the academy too. I’ll take the male part, and Mother will take the female part. The exact opposite of when I was little.’
Hm~ hm~
Titania hummed a dance tune in time with the clattering sound of the carriage wheels. Imagining herself dancing with her mother, just the two of them, in an empty dance hall.
Only the two of them.
*
As the coachman had said, by truly running without rest, they were able to arrive from the academy to the royal palace in just two days. When the main gate of the palace began to appear in the distance, Titania took out a hand mirror and began tidying her hair. Then Ainsel peeked out and asked Titania.
-...Princess. Um...
“Sorry, Ainsel. I’m a little busy right now... Can we talk later?”
-Ah, I’m in a hurry too...!
Snap!
Titania shut the hand mirror and smiled brightly, worrying over her neatly arranged hair. She felt bad for Ainsel, but just for today, she did not want to be disturbed. It was her reunion with her mother after three years.
As Titania looked at her reflection in the window and straightened her clothes and hair, the carriage came to a halt with a creak, and the coachman opened the carriage door, announcing that they had arrived at the royal palace.
“Princess, we have arrived.”
“...? We’ve arrived? But...”
Titania looked outside through the open doorway as if something was strange. As promised, someone had indeed come out to greet her. The fact that it was not her mother rubbed Titania the wrong way.
As Titania stepped down from the carriage, her brow furrowed slightly. Why? Just why? There was no way Mother would break a promise with me. Titania looked sharply at the person who had come out to greet her.
The person waiting in front of the carriage was not her mother, but none other than Baengsyo.
“...Princess Titania, it has been three years. Was the academy enjoyable—”
“Baengsyo, where is Mother?”
“......”
Cutting off Baengsyo’s greeting, Titania asked after her mother.
Even when she turned her head and looked around, she could not see her mother anywhere. Could it be that her health had truly worsened? In her letters, she had always said she was healthy, but had she been unable to come out because she was unwell?
“Vivian... Her Majesty the Queen is...”
“Forget it. I’ll return to my room first, so unload my luggage.”
“P-Princess Titania! Please wait...! Ha...”
Leaving Baengsyo’s sigh behind her, Titania walked swiftly into the royal castle. As soon as she entered, her feet moved on their own, as if her body remembered. The maids had no chance to stop her.
Titania was able to find the room she and her mother had used in no time. If one went up to the third floor, there was a spacious room in the middle of the corridor. That was her and her mother’s room.
A room where sunlight poured over the entire chamber during the day, and where opening the terrace doors revealed the royal garden at a glance. Titania hurried there. To meet her mother for the first time in three years.
But—
“...? What? Why...”
Why is the room empty?
Looking at the room she had shared with her mother, Titania frowned as though she could not understand it. Had Mother moved rooms? But there had been nothing like that written in her letters.
Their room changed with the seasons, but this was certainly the room they used during the current season. Titania went over her memories again, but it was indeed this place, so she entered the room and looked around.
The room seemed to have been empty for quite some time, with no human warmth to be felt. As Titania looked at the darkened room with its curtains drawn, she turned her head toward Baengsyo, who had followed after her.
“Baengsyo, where is Mother?”
“First... Her Majesty the Queen left this letter for you, Princess.”
Flinch. Titania’s brow furrowed even deeper.
An unpleasant thought flashed through her mind, but she forced herself to ignore it as she accepted the letter Baengsyo handed her and looked at it. On the outside of the envelope, only the words “To Titania” were written.
The handwriting on the envelope was unmistakably her mother’s. That made the bad thought even more unsettling. Carefully, Titania opened the envelope and began reading the letter inside.
...The contents of the brief letter were as follows.
In truth, it had been planned from the beginning that she would leave the royal castle.
That her leaving the royal castle was something that could not be helped.
And so she was sorry. Simply sorry.
That she loved her. Truly loved her.
That she was sorry for lying.
That was the end.
There was not a single word written about where her mother had gone after leaving the royal castle, or where she intended to live.
As Titania stared at the letter, a fierce shadow fell over her face.
“Find...”
Titania commanded Baengsyo.
“Find her and bring her back. Even if you have to search the entire kingdom, bring her back.”
At Titania’s voice, as cold as ice and unlike anything he had ever heard before, Baengsyo squeezed his eyes shut. As if he had known this would happen, as if he had already expected it, he bowed his head and accepted Titania’s command.
“Bring Mother before me at once!!”