[Episode 108] – The Time When I Must Leave (2)
“How do you know that, too? There’s no way you could know about it...”
“How do you know about it, then...? Have you ever been to the academy?”
“Of course I have...! I must have enrolled four times by now, you know? I’ve never graduated, though...”
Veronica and I whispered to each other in very quiet voices, our faces close together.
Veronica seemed not to know why I knew about the ‘Fairy Egg,’ and I had never imagined that she would know about it either. After all, I had never once heard that Veronica had enrolled in the academy.
“Anyway, don’t change the subject! How do you know about it?! I thought I was the only one who knew that the Fairy Egg was hidden in the academy...”
“I-I only heard about it through a rumor. You know how there are ten ghost stories passed down throughout the academy? The one about an OOPArt that grants a student’s wish. I thought it might be that...”
“......You figured it out from that?”
Veronica shot me a suspicious look. Was this not going to work? I had hurriedly thought of the game’s setting and answered her, but apparently it was not a satisfactory explanation. When I merely smiled awkwardly, not knowing how else to answer, Veronica let out a deep sigh.
“...Do you really need it?”
“N-No, I don’t need it. I only thought it might help Titania...”
“Then couldn’t you give it to me? To you, it might only be an OOPArt for Titania’s sake, but I really need it. So...”
Her voice was pleading, but her eyes were resolute. Her gaze gave me the impression that she would take it by force if I did not give it up, and I began to ponder for a moment. Just as I finished that brief deliberation and was about to open my mouth, Titania, who had been behind me, asked:
“Mother, should I pack this as well?”
“Ah, that is...”
A sigh escaped me at the sight of clothes and luggage that still had not been sorted lying scattered across the bed. When I turned my head and tried to approach Titania, Veronica caught me by the wrist, as if telling me to answer her before I left. I looked at Veronica, gently patted her head, and replied.
“I’ll think about it a little and give you my answer.”
“...All right.”
I had already made up my mind, but it seemed like a good opportunity to talk to Veronica alone, so I postponed my answer. It would be best to tell Veronica. I was going to enroll in the academy together with Titania, after all. In fact, I was almost grateful that I could enroll in the academy by following Titania. And so...
‘...It should be all right to tell Veronica. That when you return, I won’t be here anymore.’
*
Sorting out the luggage continued until late at night.
There was not all that much to pack, but it took far too long because we kept wondering what would be necessary at the academy and what would be useless. I had told Titania to bring only what she needed for her studies, but Titania’s opinion was that she could not do that given her position.
“It took a while, but we managed to get everything sorted somehow.”
“That’s because Mother kept objecting to every single thing I tried to pack...”
...Since it was not wrong, I could not refute her.
But what else could I do? It was difficult to understand why she needed to bring five bottles of perfume. Titania explained that this was already a significant reduction, and that each perfume had a different purpose, but no matter how much she explained, I could not understand. Apparently, it was all the rage these days.
As though exhausted, Titania let out a deep sigh and flopped down onto the bed. After rolling around on it, she buried her face in the blankets and kicked them repeatedly, muttering, “The whole day passed by so pointlessly...” I almost laughed at Titania’s childish behavior, despite the fact that she had already grown into a young woman.
“Come to think of it... The room feels a little bigger.”
When I turned my head and looked at the luggage that had been packed away, a bittersweet feeling settled over me. Should I say that the room had grown larger? Or that it had become drearier? Only a few of Titania’s personal belongings had been removed, yet my room no longer felt like my room. It felt strangely unfamiliar today.
As I stood there blankly, looking around the room, Veronica approached me and asked:
“Are you done?”
“For the most part.”
“And have you finished thinking, too?”
When I turned my head slightly to look at Veronica, she was wearing a somewhat anxious expression. Seeing her gaze, which seemed to ask, ‘What if you don’t give me the Fairy Egg?’ I could not help but chuckle.
“What? Why are you laughing?”
“I was just thinking that you really are a cute child.”
“W-What?”
Ignoring Veronica’s glare, which seemed to say, ‘What nonsense are you spouting all of a sudden?’ I chuckled and began smoothing Titania’s thoroughly disheveled hair with one hand. She must have rolled around on the bed quite a bit; her hair was a complete mess.
‘...I won’t have much longer to look at this lovely face.’
There really was not much time left. Once today passed, there would be only two days remaining. That meant I had only two more days to look at Titania’s face. Thinking of that made me feel so bitter that my throat seemed to burn.
The truth was, I really did not want to leave.
Who would want to leave the side of a child they loved?
If I could, I wanted to spend my entire life beside this child.
But I had made a ‘promise.’
Originally, I had promised to leave this year, when Titania turned fifteen. But Her Majesty the Queen Dowager had allowed me to stay for another three years. I knew all too well that I must not grow any greedier than this. And, as bitter as it was...
I thought it was right for me to leave Titania’s side.
‘This child loves me too much.’
The problem was that Titania loved me far too much.
I was worried about how deeply Titania loved me.
Titania, who never wanted to leave my side...
‘That’s why I have to leave.’
If Titania was to become independent, I could not remain by her side. If Titania became queen and still refused to leave me, it would surely become ‘poison’ to her. A queen who could not leave her adoptive mother, who was not even her birth mother. How disgraceful would that be?
‘...How much will she resent me when I leave?’
Titania looked up at me with loving eyes, like a baby bird that refused to leave its nest. A baby bird that would not flap its wings, even though it was time to leave the nest. The only way to make such a baby bird leave was for the mother bird to push it out.
And so, I had no choice but to push Titania forward. To drive this lovely child, who wanted to remain by my side forever, away from me, I had to be the one to push her away. I wanted Titania to leave the ‘nest’ and become independent on her own.
‘Besides, even after I leave, Veronica and Ainsel will still be by Titania’s side.’
Once I left, Ainsel and Veronica would probably grow closer as well. If the three of them stayed together, perhaps their misunderstandings would eventually be resolved and they would become friends. I did not know why Ainsel avoided Veronica, but if they lived together, the day would come when their misunderstandings were cleared up.
After neatly arranging Titania’s tousled hair, I smiled and looked back and forth between Titania and Veronica. Thinking that just one day like this should be all right, I asked them both at once:
“Would you two like to sleep together with me tonight?”
“What?”
“Pardon?”
At my suggestion, Veronica looked horrified, while Titania seemed a little flustered. I lay down in the middle of the bed and patted both sides, urging them to lie down quickly. Veronica frowned and abruptly turned her head away.
“When you two leave, I’ll be all alone here. So let’s sleep together tonight, just this once, and make it a memory. Hmm? Can’t you?”
When I pleaded earnestly, Titania thought for a moment, then let out a deep sigh as if she had no choice and settled down on my left side. Veronica still did not seem inclined to come to my side, merely looking down at me with an irritated expression.
“Veronica.”
“Oh, honestly...!”
Only after I called her a second time did Veronica climb onto the bed and settle down on my right side, turning her back to me. With the three of us lying side by side on the bed, should I say that it felt strangely moving? The three of us together really did feel like a family.
“Titania, shall I read you a fairy tale for old times’ sake?”
“A fairy tale...? I’m a little old for that...”
“What does age have to do with it? Since we’re all lying here together, I feel like reading one to you.”
For some reason, I felt as though I were remembering Titania as a child. I had read to her so many times in the past. In fact, Titania had been the one to pester me to tell her fairy tales.
And besides, the reason I wanted to tell a fairy tale this time was...
“Veronica, is there any fairy tale you’d like to hear?”
“...No.”
It was for Veronica as well. A child with the simple dream of hearing a fairy tale from her parents. A child who believed she would never be able to fulfill that dream in her lifetime. I merely wanted to fulfill it in her place. There was not much time left for me to remain in the royal palace.
“Then I’ll choose one myself.”
In a gentle, lilting voice, as though telling a fairy tale to a small child, I began reciting the story I had told Titania more than any other. Gently stroking both girls’ hair, I continued the story slowly.
“Once upon a time, a very, very long time ago—”
*
“Phew...”
After confirming that Titania had fallen asleep, I carefully stepped out onto the terrace to feel the night breeze. I could not sleep, and there was much to think about. Besides...
“...Are you only thinking about it now? Or have you finished thinking about it already?”
There was something I needed to say to Veronica, too.
After confirming that Titania was asleep, Veronica and I decided to step out onto the terrace and speak alone. Veronica would talk about the ‘Fairy Egg.’ I would talk about ‘leaving the royal palace.’ Veronica did not yet know that I was leaving the royal palace, but...
I smiled and looked at Veronica.
“Did you enjoy the fairy tale I told?”
“...Well, it was something I’d never heard before, so it was fairly interesting.”
When I chuckled, Veronica lightly struck my shoulder as though annoyed. Still, I was glad she had enjoyed it. To be honest, I had not expected her to listen all the way to the end. Telling Veronica a fairy tale was an act of pity, and Veronica was a child who hated being pitied.
‘Veronica must have opened her heart to me, too.’
That was why it was even harder to bring this up. What expression would Veronica make if I told her, now that she had only just opened her heart to me, that I was leaving? The thought that I might be abandoning Veronica just as ‘Vivian’ had made me feel sorry.
“Why are you making such a serious face?”
“...Veronica.”
...Even so, I had to tell her. Even if I disappeared, Titania would still be there for Veronica. I wanted the two of them to rely on each other and lean on each other. To live like true, inseparable ‘sisters.’ If they did, everything would be all right even without me.
“The ‘Fairy Egg’ in the academy. I’ll give it to you. But in return...”
“In return...?”
“Promise me just one thing.”
“A promise?”
“Promise me that you’ll always remain by Titania’s side. That you’ll help Titania. That you’ll rely on each other and live like true sisters. Promise me.”
“...Of course I was planning to do that even without you asking... But why all of a sudden? You sound like someone about to leave for somewhere far away.”
“......”
Veronica was perceptive enough to sense something strange in my tone and question me about it. She had asked as though making a joke, chuckling lightly, but when she saw that there was no smile on my face, her expression gradually hardened.
I parted my lips to speak, but it was not easy.
So for the moment, I only looked at Veronica with a bitter smile.
Veronica stared at my smile and forced one of her own for a moment, as though confused. But soon, when she realized that this was not a joke, the smile slowly faded from her face. Then Veronica let out a sigh, raised her head, and looked at me.
“......You’re joking, right?”
“...I’m sorry.”
At my answer, Veronica’s face crumpled.
More than I had ever seen before.
She looked as though she might burst into tears at any moment.