Since I had successfully grown the holy sword, I took out the ice mansion again.
It has long been said that an excellent maid must provide the finest service even when her guest is utterly exhausted.
For Lady Ravina, who was drained of strength, I took out one of the lunchboxes I had worked hard to pack on the rest floor.
The time had come to try one of the things I had absolutely wanted to do at a maid café: “feeding the guest.”
“Now, Lady Ravina. Aah.”
“A... aaah... mmn...!”
- How is even the sound of her eating...
- Crazy bitch... crazy bitch... crazy bitch... crazy bitch...
- Isn’t Ravina << not a nun but a slut??
- She always died right away so I didn’t know, but fr her true nature is just slutty
Lady Ravina obediently accepted the spoon I offered her.
The menu was a special meat soup made by deboning the flesh of a Windwing Bird given to me by the Fist Saint of the Sky.
Perhaps because it was an ingredient packed full of the Constellations’ love, Lady Ravina’s complexion visibly improved with every bite.
“Hah... haaah... Benefactor... this... my body... is getting so hot...”
“???”
- Um... in times like this, don’t people usually say they’re warming up?
- Shh
I hadn’t put in any ingredients that would make one’s body hot.
Could it be that she had overcharged on divinity and developed a health problem?
Worried, I placed my hand on Lady Ravina’s forehead, and tears welled up in her eyes.
“It’s really... really delicious... How long has it been since I last had a meal...”
“......!”
- Uuuh... Mama Yuyeon... feed me too...
- I want to eat Lady Yuyeon’s lunchbox too...
I see.
Lady Ravina must have endured agonizing hours, unable to even eat while growing the holy sword.
In such a situation, being able to eat again at last—what a miraculous thing that must be.
My mood suddenly lifted. The satisfaction of finally having treated someone like a proper maid filled my entire body.
「You have acquired Maid Points.」
“Benefactor... you really are mysterious.”
Having recovered somewhat, Lady Ravina straightened her posture and spoke.
“When I’m by your side, Benefactor... my heart becomes so peaceful. I can’t feel the horrible energy of the canyon at all...”
“VV.”
“... But, Benefactor. There’s something I’d like to ask.”
Lady Ravina looked at me with serious eyes.
“When I first met you in the forest... you were clearly much smaller than me. But how did you suddenly grow so much? And that vast divinity you used to grow my holy sword in an instant—what on earth was that...?”
From Lady Ravina’s perspective, it was only natural to have questions.
While I had been spending time on the rest floor, Lady Ravina’s time must have been frozen.
“Benefactor... are you someone who descended to save us...?”
Salvation, huh. Faced with eyes full of hope, as if seeking a god, there was only one thing I could say.
“Lady Ravina. I’m not that incredible a being.”
“......”
- ?
- You?
“I’m—”
Wait. Now that I think about it, I am incredible.
“Lady Ravina. After thinking about it again, I am incredible.”
“???”
- She realized it
- She has opened her eyes
“But even I don’t know why I’m here.”
“......???”
How did I end up being dragged into Hell difficulty?
I feel like there was something unfair about it when I was dragged here, but I can’t remember.
Still, there is one thing I have to do.
Whether I was forcibly dragged here, whether I became a maid—none of that is enough to interfere with my goal.
My goal is the survival of humanity. The preservation of the civilization humanity has built.
The maintenance of a society that allows humans to remain human, and the opening of a maid café.
Now that I think about it, that’s four things I have to do. I really am so greedy.
In any case, if there was a problem threatening humanity, I had no intention of standing by and watching.
“Lady Ravina. No matter what happens, Cervein will not fall. Because I won’t allow it.”
“... Benefactor. If you are not someone who descended to save us... may I ask why you are helping us?”
“Because I am Han Yuyeon.”
“... You know I wasn’t asking for your name, don’t you...?”
“Because I am a maid.”
“Your occupation... Ah, never mind...”
Lady Ravina’s eyes slowly closed.
Why? I didn’t put poison in it.
After thinking it over, it seemed that eating for the first time in so long with an exhausted body had brought her fatigue crashing down on her.
I lent Lady Ravina my lap so she could sleep comfortably.
“Rest well. We still have a long way to go.”
“......”
- Wow a lap pillow, fuuuck, I’m so damn jealous
- Han Yuyeon, open a maid café on Earth
- She’ll open one later, just wait
What could I do now that my lap had been sealed?
Enhancement. Hehe, I’ll enhance things until Lady Ravina wakes up.
Enhance. Enhance. Enhance...
- Doesn’t Lady Yuyeon’s gaze look kind of weird?
- Maybe the blood isn’t reaching her legs?
Enhance... Enhance... Enhance...
- Seriously, something’s off
- I’m scared
- Lady Yuyeon, please say something...
- Communicate with us...
Enhancement is a good culture...
***
Lady Ravina woke up.
I tidied Lady Ravina’s hair, then washed the clothes that had become soaked with sweat.
For someone like me, imbued with the dignity of a maid, this was all too easy.
“Ahh... I’m sorry for suddenly falling asleep...”
“How was my lap?”
“It was... really... nice...”
“Thank you. I’ll have to add it to the maid café menu.”
“Yes...?”
- What...?
- That means...
“I was wondering what to add to the menu, and if my lap pillow is acceptable, wouldn’t it be fine to add it?”
- What!!!!!
- That means!!!!!
Lady Ravina thought deeply for a moment before answering.
“Um... Benefactor? I don’t think adding your lap pillow to the menu is quite right...”
- ?
- What do you know!!!!
- Are you insane? Do you want to die?
- I’m a priest, and Ravina is no priest
- (Heretic interrogation! Priest sticker)
「Many Constellations tell you to watch your conduct.」
“???”
If even the Constellations were telling me to be careful, did that mean a lap pillow was too ambiguous to add to the menu?
I thought it was a decent menu item, but I suppose I should withdraw it.
“All right. I won’t put the lap pillow on the menu.”
“Yes...”
- Fuuuuuuuuuck
- A
- byss
- A
- (I will kill you... Swordsman sticker)
- (I won’t forgive you!! Priest sticker)
- (Let’s burn it! Mage sticker)
- byss
In any case, it was about time to proceed with the trial again.
“Lady Ravina. How is your physical condition?”
“... The best it’s ever been. Thanks to you, Benefactor, I can use my divinity in its entirety now.”
Indeed, the divinity currently radiating from Lady Ravina was more intense than mine.
Was it because she was a priest who specialized in handling divinity, after all?
Lady Ravina seemed to be far more incredible than I had imagined.
As long as she had divinity, she could even forge an EX-grade holy sword.
“But... um... my holy sword...”
“I’m keeping it. Would you like me to give it to you?”
I took Lady Ravina’s holy sword out of my subspace pouch.
- Du...
- Duuu...
- Wow, public opinion got suppressed in one shot;
「You have acquired Maid Points.」
The holy sword, whose blade alone now seemed to be two meters long, was far too long for her to carry around stuck in her abdomen.
If she went around with something like this stuck in her, she would never be able to pass through narrow corridors.
Lady Ravina looked at the enlarged holy sword and shook her head in satisfaction.
“I do wonder why my holy sword came out of there, but... if it’s all right with you, could you hold onto it until we face the True Ancestor?”
“Yes. But could I have it, by any chance?”
“Th-that won’t do!”
“Hing-ing-ing.”
I became sad that my chance to obtain an EX-grade holy sword had flown away.
But a greatsword this big would be hard to swing with dignity, wouldn’t it? Even if I had it, it would just be a burden. I stopped being sad.
“Lady Ravina. I’m thinking of breaking through this canyon soon. What do you think?”
“... Ah. I actually had something I wanted to ask you, Benefactor.”
“??”
“This canyon is filled with purple mist, isn’t it? But why can’t the mist even approach the area around you?”
“Hmm.”
- Huh??
Upon hearing the question, I thought it over carefully.
There was no mist within a fifty-meter radius around me, so I had simply assumed that was the mechanic here. Was that not the case?
Then it was probably thanks to this.
「Maid’s Dignity (EX): The dignity of a maid is the dignity of her master. Therefore, a maid must maintain dignity anytime, anywhere.
- Increases resistance to mental abnormalities.
- Resists all corruption.
- Purifies the surrounding environment.
- Maintains the optimal state.
- Receives corrections to the vast majority of actions.」
It seemed the ability built into Maid’s Dignity, the one that purified the surrounding environment, was being applied up to a radius of fifty meters.
I had always wondered just how much range “the surroundings” referred to, and now my curiosity had been resolved.
“It’s thanks to Maid’s Dignity.”
“... Pardon? Dignity...? Was that... a problem that could be solved with dignity...? Not magic or divine arts?”
“Ordinary dignity won’t do. It has to be a maid’s dignity.”
“Wh-why...?”
“That is the way of the world.”
- What are you talking about, Yuyeon-Yuyeon
- Maid’s Dignity had an effect like that...?
- As if it would
I am Han Yuyeon. An authority on flexible dignity.
There was no need to offer further explanation.
Merely by existing with dignity, my persuasiveness would double.
I performed the maidly dignity double peace.
“VV.”
“I... I see...!”
- I think it does have that effect?
- It suddenly looks persuasive
- I can feel the narrative logic being fulfilled
Then, all of a sudden, I realized a crucial fact.
Ah, right. The supplies.
“Lady Ravina. Do you know where the soldiers are?”
“They returned to the supply base. An ordinary human can’t endure even five minutes in this mist...”
“......?!”
That won’t do. Then what about the supplies I worked so hard to prepare?
I was shocked. It felt like the world was crumbling.
Just who were all the supplies I had worked so hard to prepare on the rest floor for?
“Benefactor...? Are you all right...?”
“I prepared so much... I wanted to become a master of logistics...”
“A master of logistics...?”
Lady Ravina approached cautiously.
That’s right. I have Lady Ravina.
Then the solution was to pour all my passion into Lady Ravina.
“Lady Ravina. Today, you will receive the finest service.”
“Yes...? N-no. What I ate earlier was already more than enough—”
“Now, get on my back.”
“...... Pardon?”
- Yeh?
“Get on my back.”
I bent my legs appropriately and offered Lady Ravina my back.
I had just decided that the finest service at my maid café would be ensuring the guest never even had to walk on their own two feet.
“D-do I really have to be carried on your back...? I can walk perfectly fine... Being carried is a bit...”
“!”
- This bitch?
- Lady Yuyeon is offering to carry you, and you refuse?
- You’ve gotten full of yourself, huh? Do you want to die?
- If you’re not gonna get on, move aside!!!!!!
Aha. With my height and physique, I can’t carry Lady Ravina on my back and provide a comfortable ride.
That must be why Lady Ravina refused.
I hurriedly changed my plan and cast ice magic.
“Please wait a moment.”
“Yes...? All right...”
- What is Lady Yuyeon doing now?
- ???
- Wow, shit, why is she using ice magic like that?
“Waaah...!”
Ten seconds.
I created an elegant and luxurious two-seater vehicle by appropriately combining the designs of the cool cars I had seen in books.
Ah. Even I thought this looked cool. I felt like I understood why people admired supercars.
- But how do you open the door on this thing?
For Lady Ravina, I opened the passenger-side door— Wait, how do I open this?
I tore the door off, then escorted her with dignity.
“Please sit comfortably.”
- So you were supposed to rip it off...
- (Tremble tremble... Guardian sticker)
“Um... Benefactor. If I sit down, won’t the ice melt quickly...?”
“!”
Now that I thought about it, Lady Ravina’s body temperature was fairly high.
Even inside the ice mansion, she had shown no sign of feeling cold, and when I massaged her, I had felt that her body temperature was high.
Then what was the solution?
I just had to keep pouring mana into it so the ice wouldn’t melt. Solved!
“It’s all right, so please sit comfortably. I’ll manage it properly so it doesn’t melt.”
“Yeees... excuse me...?”
After confirming that Lady Rabina had taken her seat, I patched the door I’d torn off back into place.
Then I went around to the other side, tore off the driver’s-side door, and climbed in as well.
I carefully cast additional ice magic so the shape wouldn’t collapse, restoring the driver’s-side door too.
This should be perfect.
- Who gets into a car like this...
- But can this thing even move?
- It did have wheels, at least
- So how are you gonna make the wheels turn, then?
Ah. There was a part I hadn’t implemented.
For Lady Rabina’s safety, I made her a seat belt out of ice too.
“Ah... thank you...”
“I’ll escort you comfortably, Lady Rabina.”
All right, shall we get going?
I grasped the steering wheel with as much elegance as possible and cast wind magic.
Whoosh whoosh.
“Hiiiieee—?!!”
- ????
- ?????????
The Flying Maid Ice Supercar flew between the canyon walls.
- Then... why did you make wheels in the first place?
“Benefactor!! Benefactor!! It’s too fast!!”
“? Ah.”
Crash—!!!
When I heard Lady Rabina’s words, my concentration slipped for a moment, and we ended up in a traffic accident.
The body of the car wasn’t damaged, but there was blood smeared across the front.
When I hurriedly checked, I saw that the vampire had been turned into a bloody pulp.
“Gasp.”
“Ugh...”
- Um...
- (Is he dead...? Priest emote)
- (He’s dead... Mage emote)
- (Good night, Marksman emote)
So this is why you’re supposed to get a driver’s license.
What do I do? This is bad.
Driving without a license. Speeding. No license plate. Manufacturing an unauthorized vehicle. Aerial flight.
And murder. Murder? But vampires aren’t human.
Either way, it was serious. I felt like I had become an atrocious illegal maid.
I was about to tremble in fear when I remembered that Lady Rabina was beside me.
“Ah. Lady Rabina.”
“Y-yes...?”
I immediately steadied my breathing and spoke clearly.
“I have just committed driving without a license, speeding, having no license plate, manufacturing an unauthorized vehicle, aerial flight, and killing.”
- Huh...?
“Could you hear my confession?”
“Uh... well... I don’t really—”
“You’re a priest, aren’t you?”
“That’s true, but... uuu...”
Lady Rabina thought for a moment, then placed a hand on my shoulder and said,
“Um... since you’ve repented... wouldn’t that mean you’ve been forgiven...? And none of those things are considered sins at all in present-day Serbein... Killing a vampire doesn’t count as taking a life, either...”
- True, in a world like this, it’d be bad if those were crimes
“!!!”
Good. So I was innocent.
I had once again become an honest, upright, legal maid.
This was exactly why traveling with a priest was so wonderful.
From now on, whenever I committed a sin, I’d ask her to hear my confession.
Hoping that the vampire who had suffered because of my inexperienced driving would pass on peacefully, I flashed a V sign.
May you be happy in the afterlife too.