Episode 78
“What’s wrong?”
“What do we do? I think it’s him…”
“Ah.”
It was an awkward situation. It had not been gossip, but they had ended up talking about him behind his back, and what was more, that talk had been close to a confession. Cecilia, fidgeting anxiously, jerked her chin toward the reading room as she looked at Rowena. It meant, please do something.
Rowena sighed inwardly and slowly moved her feet. Perhaps Cecilia’s anxiety had rubbed off on her, for the closer she drew to the reading room, the faster her heart beat and the more her hands trembled.
Whoever the man standing just a few steps away was, he was undoubtedly someone important to Owen. Since things had come to this, it would be more natural to exchange greetings anyway. She had just made up her mind and was about to knock.
“Diana.”
The door to the study flew open, and Cedric entered with a broad smile filling his face. Striding over, he pulled Rowena into his arms.
“Ced… no, darling?”
“Mr. Owen heard my sister’s story and said he would help us.”
“Really?”
She had thought they would need to close the distance with him a little more. At the unexpectedly quick result, Rowena’s face lit up. Cedric, smiling broadly, brushed away the wisps of hair stuck to her forehead.
“Yes. In exchange, he asked that you become Miss Cecilia’s literature teacher while my sister recovers.”
It was not a difficult request. And yet, strangely, she could not readily bring herself to agree. Noticing her hesitation, Cedric looked at Rowena cautiously.
“Diana? If it’s too much…”
“No.”
She was the one who had proposed this, and they had begun it together. For Lauren’s health, Cedric could not be the only one making sacrifices.
“I’ll gladly do it. I was feeling lonely without many people to talk to, so this works out well.”
* * *
Perhaps the goddess of fortune was with them, for everything after that proceeded smoothly. A few days later, Owen handed over the medicine they had wanted so desperately. It came with the condition that they not ask where it came from and not tell anyone, but that hardly mattered.
Lauren’s complexion improved so much as to be unrecognizable after she began taking the medicine, and her visiting hours gradually grew longer as well.
“These days, my body feels light, and my mood is good too.”
“I’m so glad, Lauren.”
“It’s all thanks to you and Cedric, Rowena. Thank you. I heard everything about what you did for me.”
Lauren, her eyes reddening, clasped Rowena’s hand tightly.
“I truly won’t forget this kindness. No matter what happens, I’ll repay it.”
“Please don’t say that. I’m the one who owes you. I’m only more grateful that I was able to be of help.”
The two women quietly looked at each other and smiled. A warmth spread deep through Rowena’s chest. Though there was still time left before Lauren would be fully cured, seeing her so much improved made all their hardship finally feel rewarded.
“Damian is doing well, isn’t he?”
“Actually, he came up not long ago. I’ll bring him next time.”
“Really? Promise me.”
“Of course.”
Rowena nodded and brushed off Lauren’s disheveled clothes. Watching her with warm eyes, Lauren spoke as if she had made up her mind, her gaze resolute.
“I don’t know how you’ll take me saying this so suddenly, Rowena.”
“Lauren?”
“I really wish we could become family.”
“We already are enough…”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
Lauren held Rowena’s shoulders as she tried to turn the subject, and continued in a gentle but firm tone.
“If you became my sister-in-law and Damian became my adorable nephew, I don’t think I would have any other wish.”
“Lauren…”
“Please think about it. It doesn’t seem like you truly dislike Cedric, and for Damian’s sake too. This is my request.”
Instead of answering, Rowena nodded. She could have refused gently, as she had before, but her thoughts were gradually changing. There was no law that said a family had to be formed through passionate love between a man and a woman. Cedric was a good person, and he was someone who would become an excellent husband and a kind father. Above all, what had been decisive was the answer that had come back without a moment’s hesitation when she said she had nothing left to give.
—Then I’ll fill you again.
—……
—If you are empty, I’ll fill you. My feelings are infinite, like a spring that will never run dry.
If they relied on one another and cherished each other, then perhaps, like water filling a dry well, little by little.
Her thoughts were brief. At the bell announcing noon, Lauren pushed her gently on the back.
“Today is the day you go to that mansion, isn’t it? I’ve kept you too long.”
“Then I’ll come again. Starting today, Cedric will be away for a few days because of academic society business, so I should be able to come every day.”
“I heard about it. Damian is going with him as a trip too, isn’t he? Don’t overdo it.”
“I won’t.”
Rowena nodded, left the hospital room, and hired a carriage in front of the hospital. The air was stifling, so as soon as she opened the window, a damp wind clung to her skin. When she looked up at the sky, dark clouds had begun to gather over what had been clear weather. It seemed it would rain at night.
* * *
It was a task she had taken on almost by accident, but Cecilia was a more diligent and endearing student than she had expected. Unlike before, when she had been somewhat shy, as they grew closer day by day, she followed Rowena like an older sister.
“When I get married, I want to become a couple like you and Mr. Godwell.”
“That’s an honor.”
“Even from the outside, I can see that the two of you respect and cherish each other. It’s truly wonderful and lovely to see.”
Her sparkling eyes were full of the innocence and naivety of a young lady her age. They were things Rowena, too, had once possessed. Looking at Cecilia with half envy and half longing, Rowena wrapped up the lesson.
“Thank you, Cecilia. Then, we’ll stop here for today.”
“You’re leaving already?”
Cecilia caught Rowena as she closed her book and rose, then added,
“Please stay for dinner today. Won’t you?”
“I can’t impose on you like that.”
“Mr. Godwell has gone to the academic society today too, hasn’t he? And…”
“And?”
It seemed as though an important part had been omitted. Rowena sat back down and pressed her with her eyes, and Cecilia, after hesitating, confessed honestly.
“Father is away today, so it’s just me and… him.”
“Ah. So it will be awkward, and you want me to fill the seat, is that it?”
“Well…”
At the mischievous remark, Cecilia blushed and avoided her gaze. Rowena chuckled and accepted the offer.
“All right. Dinner is fine.”
Though it was a little uncomfortable to dine with a man she did not know, he was Cecilia’s guest anyway, and all Rowena had to do was sit there, eat quietly, and take her leave.
Like the study, the dining room of the Ludville mansion was spacious, and the meal was varied. Leaving the seat of honor empty, the two of them sat facing each other on either side of it.
“What about the guest in the annex?”
No sooner had Cecilia spoken than the maid attending them answered politely.
“A message just arrived. He said you should eat first. He thinks he will be a little late.”
“Is that so?”
Cecilia nodded, her words trailing off with a hint of disappointment. For Rowena, who had avoided an uncomfortable situation, it was rather fortunate.
Before long, the dishes began to come out one by one. Picking up her utensils, Rowena led the conversation for once in place of the downcast Cecilia.
“By the way, what is it about him that you like so much?”
“First of all… his face.”
“His face.”
At the unexpectedly honest answer, a small laugh escaped Rowena’s lips. Seeing Cecilia flustered, Rowena excused herself.
“I’m sorry. You’re so adorable… hehe.”
“If you keep laughing, I won’t talk about this anymore.”
“I won’t. Please continue. Hm? Which part is the most charming?”
She asked without hesitation, but at the next answer that came back, Rowena’s spine stiffened.
“He has a dimple.”
“A dim…
ple?”
“Yes. When he grins, it appears, and I can’t tell you how charming it is. Though he doesn’t smile often…”
A man with a dimple. There was only one person she knew like that. No. It had to be a coincidence. Secretly clenching and unclenching her fist, Rowena awkwardly lifted the corners of her lips.
“And strangely enough.”
Cecilia, not noticing Rowena’s reaction, leaned forward slightly. Matching her gesture to bring her ear closer, Rowena asked back,
“Strangely?”
As though mindful of the maids standing behind them, Cecilia raised a hand to cover her mouth and whispered.
“It only appears on the left.”
The moment those words left her mouth, Rowena froze. Rain began pouring from the sky that had been gathering dark clouds since noon. The rain beat against the windows, and the fierce wind shook the window frames.
“Is he…
a foreigner?”
At the feeling that all the blood in her body was freezing, even her lips trembled. Cecilia straightened up and, looking a little puzzled at Rowena’s state, replied,
“Yes. Last time, there were eyes on us, so I couldn’t tell you honestly… Madam?”
Before Cecilia could even finish speaking, Rowena rose from her seat and, as if fleeing, circled the long dining table and flung open the dining room door.
“Why are you suddenly acting like this? Madam?”
Cecilia’s bewildered voice followed her, but Rowena had no time to pay attention to it. Without looking back, without even taking her coat, she ran straight toward the entrance hall. Meanwhile, her mind raced breathlessly. In case something like this happened, she had secretly hidden money under the bed. She had to take that emergency fund and leave this city with Damian. Go somewhere far away, to a foreign country…
“You forgot your umbrella, Madam.”
“Ah, thank y…”
After passing the startled maids and reaching the entrance hall, someone held out an umbrella to Rowena. The moment she took it and lifted her head, the mask fell to the floor. With a clack, Rowena’s face turned deathly pale. The thing she had feared for so long and tried to avoid had finally happened.
“You… you…”
It was unmistakably him. Hair swept back without a single stray strand, vivid blue eyes, and a straight nose. And red, thin lips. For some reason, the skin beneath his eyes was dark, and he had grown a little gaunt, but both the piercing gleam in his eyes and the strength of the hand gripping her chin belonged to Killian Maximilian Devonshire.
“Rowena.”
“H-how…”
“You should call me Killian.”
His voice was tender, but his eyes held an obsession chilling enough to send shivers down her spine. At the same time, they were achingly affectionate, as if carving out his own heart, but Rowena did not notice.