Chapter 105
Killian did not open his eyes even after five days had passed. In the meantime, Lauren, whose body had recovered, was discharged from the hospital and wished to return to her own home.
The carriage came to a stop in front of the train station. While the coachman and Cedric unloaded all the luggage from the roof of the carriage, the two women embraced lightly. The brief hug ended, and Rowena took Lauren’s hand tightly, her face a little wistful.
“Thank you for everything, Lauren.”
“What are you saying…… That’s my line. Thank you for saving my life.”
“That was Mr. Cedric’s doing.”
“I heard he couldn’t have done it without you, Rowena.”
Rowena felt the warmth of the hand clasped in hers. Lauren’s face was warm and gentle from beginning to end. The wounds she had received from people over the course of her life had been healed by another person. Only after going through so much did she realize that there was no such thing as eternal hatred, nor eternal pain.
“Thank you for welcoming Damian and me so warmly and embracing us.”
“Rowena, you are someone who deserves to be loved. Because you are beautiful and kind, and above all, you know how to understand and love others.”
“……
Thank you.”
As they spoke, the train’s departure time was drawing near. Lauren drew Rowena into another brief embrace and let her go, bidding her farewell.
“Then I’ll be waiting. Stay healthy and take care.”
“I will. Have a safe trip.”
Lauren did not know the full details of the recent bombing. Nor did she know that Killian had been gravely injured and had yet to wake. All she knew was that Cedric and Rowena’s marriage had been annulled, and that Rowena would be staying in the capital for the time being. Lauren smiled brightly, turned around, and walked away. Rowena was quietly watching her back when Cedric, having finished unloading all the luggage, called her.
“Rowena.”
“……
Mr. Cedric.”
Ever since Killian’s accident, and since she had learned that her marriage to Cedric had been annulled, things had been awkward between them for the past few days. Out of a guilt she could not quite name, Rowena had avoided him, knowingly and unknowingly. Looking at Rowena as she lowered her eyes slightly, Cedric swallowed a bitter smile and said quietly,
“I’ll be going, then.”
After saying goodbye, he slowly turned his back. Rowena watched Cedric move away in silence, then suddenly lifted her head.
“Cedric!”
As if he had been waiting for it, Cedric whipped his head around and faced her. All at once, she remembered what had happened the previous night.
—I’m thinking of following my sister.
—……
Cedric, whose eyes were unreadable, began speaking and smiled at Rowena, whose expression was complicated.
—I’m not leaving for good. They say she’s recovered, but she’s still unwell, so I want to stay by her side and look after her for a while. And the luggage is too heavy for a woman to carry.
—Mr. Cedric…… I.
She could not let him remain in a state that was neither one thing nor the other. As Rowena hesitated and tried to speak, Cedric cut her off a step ahead.
—That’s enough.
His faint smile looked like mist that might vanish at any moment. Rowena pressed her lips shut, and Cedric continued speaking to her.
—I know His Grace the Duke was badly injured. I also know that it happened because he was trying to protect you and Damian, no one else.
It was only natural for her to feel sorry, guilty, and sympathetic. Rowena was not a woman cold by nature, and besides, Killian Devonshire was Damian’s biological father. No matter how much she turned away from and denied it, their identical faces proved it.
—You must be confused. It must feel complicated, like everything in your head is tangled up.
At the words that seemed to read her heart, Rowena nodded instead of answering. Cedric took her hand.
—But what you’re feeling now is nothing more and nothing less than guilt, Rowena.
Even as he spoke, a dull ache throbbed in the left side of his chest. Perhaps that was not all there was to it. Deep inside the eyes with which she had looked down at Killian lying unconscious, there had certainly been something hot and burning. But he must have seen it wrong, he told himself, shaking his head with effort. Anyone would be shaken when someone who had once been close to them fell into danger.
—Until your heart is completely settled, and until you take my hand again of your own will, I’ll wait.
That was the end of the conversation. Cedric withdrew his hand and left as if fleeing.
“Take……”
Meeting his eyes, filled with expectation and fluttering hope, Rowena reproached herself for having called him without realizing it. Moving lips that would not easily part, she waved her hand.
“Take care.”
Amid the countless passersby, Cedric smiled faintly. Dipping his head in a small nod, he followed Lauren’s footsteps and began walking again.
* * *
When Rowena returned to the carriage, the place she headed to was the hospital where Killian had been admitted. The private room, far larger than most reception rooms, was harmoniously filled with well-appointed rosewood furniture.
And by the curtained window lay a man as still as death. At his bedside, a boy was asleep. Rowena approached carefully and shook her son awake.
“Damian.”
“……
Mm.”
“Damian. Wake up.”
“Mom……?”
Rubbing his eyes and yawning, Damian stretched and sat up.
“What about Brother Cedric and Aunt Lauren?”
“They went to the train station early this morning.”
“You should’ve taken me too.”
“You said goodbye yesterday.”
“I still wanted to say goodbye……”
“I’m sorry.”
Rowena smiled softly and reached out her arms. Her attempt to lift him up failed. In the past, even if he was heavy, she had been able to hold him in both arms, but now it was difficult.
“It’s okay, Mom.”
Pushing Rowena’s hands away, Damian turned his head and looked at Killian.
“When will Dad wake up?”
“……
I’m not sure.”
Giving an ambiguous answer, Rowena took a seat in the chair beside him. The man who had seemed like a solid wall of ice when his eyes were open now slept like an exquisitely crafted doll. So deeply that one might wonder if he was truly alive.
At times, she even brought a finger beneath his nose to check his breathing. Each time, she was relieved by the faint breath she could feel.
“I dreamed about Dad.”
“About Dad?”
“Yeah.”
Damian nodded vigorously and reached out, taking the large hand resting atop the blanket.
“Dad saved me from a big dog again.”
“……”
“It was so scary and cold and hard, but he protected me with his own body and asked me if I was all right.”
After learning that Killian was his biological father, Damian had poured out countless questions about him. Among them were questions about the course of everything: how Rowena and Killian had met, why they had parted, and why they had not lived together until now. Rowena had told him the truth as much as she could, in a roundabout way, at a level Damian could accept. Throughout the long story, Damian listened to her without crying, laughing, or dozing off.
And after he had heard everything, he did not leave Killian’s side.
“……
I see.”
Rowena was not always the only one telling stories. Damian, too, told her everything about Killian without leaving out a single detail. From their first meeting until now.
When she heard that Killian had protected Damian from a large dog that had charged at him in the park, Rowena remembered that around that time, his complexion had not been good. And yet he had not let it show at all; instead, he had behaved even more cruelly.
He might have used that incident as a chance to shake her. Yet he had kept it secret until what might have been the final moment, and she could not understand him.
“Huaaam……”
While she was lost in thought, a long yawn broke the silence. Coming back to herself, Rowena smiled.
“You’re very sleepy, aren’t you? Do you want to go to the mansion and sleep comfortably?”
“No…… I want to stay here.”
Shaking his head, Damian pointed to one side. It was a small bed and couch for the caregiver and guardian. Letting out a small sigh, Rowena picked up the blanket draped over the back of the chair.
“All right. Go lie down. I’ll help you sleep.”
As soon as she finished one lullaby, Damian quickly fell asleep. Stroking the child’s hair, Rowena carefully rose. She drew back the curtain by the window and opened the window to air out the room. People just heading to work, postmen, newspaper boys, and chimney sweeps were opening the city’s morning. After looking down at the bustling hospital, Rowena quietly sat in the chair Damian had been sitting in.
“When are you going to wake up?”
“……”
“There are many things I want to ask you, and many things I want to hear.”
“……”
“But I suppose I can only do that once you open your eyes.”
As Cedric had said, what exactly her heart was feeling now, and what conclusion she ought to reach, could all only be possible after Killian woke safely.
“If you remain like this, everything will simply stagnate. You and I both.”
Though she knew, of course, that no answer would return, her words continued.
“Damian…… likes you quite a lot. Blood is blood, I suppose.”
Because Rowena’s face always grew clouded whenever he asked about his biological father, her son had barely used the word father at all until now. From the moment he confirmed Killian’s identity, Damian seemed intent on making up for all that time, using the word dad again and again.
“Wake up soon. Hold your son just once. That child…… has only just learned who you are.”
Her voice trembled more and more. It had only been five days. Not even a week had passed, and yet she was becoming increasingly anxious and uneasy.
The trigger had been something Zenok said when they sat side by side during the magistrate’s repeated investigations to determine the circumstances of the incident.
—Come to think of it…… it was strange.
—In what way?
—When he caught that assailant, normally, he would have searched him thoroughly, but instead he merely had him bound and placed in the carriage. And most decisively, he did not take me with him. Even though he is so meticulous that he notices the slightest change in export goods and was able to anticipate the young master’s danger in advance.
At those unexpected words, the investigation room froze. The magistrate, his face grave, waited for what would come next.
—As if……
—As if?
—As if he had expected something to go wrong.