88. Still That Strange Guest (2)
"Uh... excuse me, but what is it..."
"……."
He didn't answer my words. He just stared at me with a burning gaze. Flustered, I gripped the broomstick tightly. Why on earth is he acting like that?
As his gaze on me lengthened and I could no longer face him, rolling my eyes this way and that, Ethan stepped inside. Striding closer, he stopped right in front of me. Then, scanning me from top to bottom, he suddenly raised his hand and placed it on the crown of my head. After that, he brought his hand down to his chest as if measuring my height, repeated the motion three times, and then started circling around me.
His stiffly hardened face and sharp eyes were somehow frightening. Shrinking back in tension, I kept my guard up as he spun around me.
"Wh-why are you doing this?"
"……."
Spinning until I was dizzy, he stopped in front of me again. Then, his stiff face, which had been staring at me for a long time, slowly began to relax. What followed was a smile.
"I knew it."
"Pardon?"
"I had my doubts, but I didn't expect to see you again like this."
Ethan smiled even wider and suddenly spread his arms open. Just like his face, brimming with joy, his voice burst out urgently, filled with delight.
"It's been a long time, Paula."
"……!"
*How...*
"How did you know?!"
I asked in surprise. Ethan's eyes, who was welcoming me with his arms wide open, grew round.
"Hmm? I just recognized you. You haven't changed much, and you're still as petite."
He chuckled and placed his fingertip on the crown of my head. Seeing his mischievous face and the gesture that seemed to indicate what was petite, his playfulness was still the same.
I blankly looked up at Ethan. I didn't expect him to recognize me. It was a time when I used to hide my face with my bangs, and I thought he would have quickly forgotten a maid who worked for such a short time.
"You cut your bangs."
"Ah, yes. It just happened."
I fiddled with my shortened bangs. They had grown a bit since then and swayed before my eyes.
"Didn't you grow them out on purpose? To look unique."
"It's true I grew them out on purpose, but that wasn't the reason."
As I firmly refuted, Ethan laughed joyfully. His joking nature was also still the same.
"When did you return? I haven't heard from Vincent."
"Well... the Master doesn't know. Because I didn't return."
"You didn't return? Then why are you here?"
"It's a long story."
Explaining everything seemed like it would turn into a long, drawn-out story. So I just explained that I thought I was originally employed by another family, but ended up drifting here by chance. Ethan wore an expression saying he couldn't understand what I meant. Come to think of it, it was a strange explanation.
I agonized over where to start explaining, but eventually got annoyed and summarized it as 'it just happened.' Of course, Ethan still had an expression saying he didn't understand this time either. However, instead of demanding an explanation again, he took a step closer to me. Still with his arms wide open.
"For now, I'm just really glad to see you."
"Pardon?"
His round, curved brown eyes captured me clearly.
"I missed you, Miss Maid. No."
"……."
"Paula."
My real name, which I hadn't heard in a long time.
Maybe that was why, the gladness I had tried so hard to hide surged up from within my heart.
"Me too, Lord Ethan."
We embraced each other and savored our reunion.
"How have you been?"
"Thanks to Lord Ethan's help, I hid myself and observed the situation. Then I returned to where I used to live, but my father had passed away, so my sibling and I wandered around looking for work until we ended up here."
"I didn't know Paula had a sibling. A younger brother?"
"A younger sister."
"Is she here?"
"Yes. We were hired together."
Ethan's eyes sparkled, saying he was curious about who she was. I forced a smile and fidgeted with both hands. We don't look that much alike. There were many people who became curious about me after seeing Alicia's face, but this was the first time someone looked at me and became curious about my sibling. Feeling awkward about it, I couldn't say anything, and Ethan didn't ask any further either.
"You must have had a hard time."
His large hand ruffled my head. The action, as if treating me like a close younger sibling, made me feel strange. His gentle-looking face was distinctly different from his stiff face just moments ago. Not the Count who sacrificed his own flesh and blood, whom the maids said was scary, but the face of the Ethan I knew.
He looked so comfortable now.
*Who had a harder time?* I knew through the newspapers that his life hadn't been smooth after I left the mansion. The chattering words of the maids also played a part.
I hadn't lived an easy life either, but I felt like if I opened my mouth, it would turn into a competition over who was more miserable, so I couldn't easily ask how he was doing.
But quick-witted Ethan noticed my inner thoughts.
"I'm fine."
"I didn't say anything."
"Your eyes are saying it."
"It looks like your bangs grew out well." Ethan mischievously added, reaching out for my bangs. I brushed his hand away with a sullen face. *Don't touch me.* Despite my reaction, Ethan just laughed without showing any sign of annoyance.
"So how have you been?"
"As you heard. You seemed to take my side earlier too."
"You heard that?"
"A little. I was so moved I almost cried."
"It wasn't to that extent."
It wasn't untrue. This time too, I had made a firm cut.
"You must have had a hard time too, Lord Ethan."
"Not particularly?"
His answer was light. His grinning face was also light.
"You don't have to force a smile."
"I should smile. It's all over, so what's the point of being gloomy about it now?"
"Even if it's over, I don't think the agony will just disappear. The sorrow, too."
"Do I look sad?"
"Yes."
"Do I even have the right to be? It's all true."
I shook my head. *Don't say that.*
"I devoured all my flesh and blood and survived alone."
"Lord Ethan."
"Paula. No matter how much you try to hide it with nice words, and even if there were hidden circumstances, in the end, I disposed of my own flesh and blood with my own hands. Devoured—it's an expression that suits me perfectly, isn't it?"
"That wasn't what you wanted, Lord Ethan."
"Do you really think so?"
He asked. His tone was still light, but the weight contained within his words was by no means light.
Instead of saying no, I stared at him. I knew he wasn't asking because he was genuinely curious. From his smiling face, a festering, burst-open wound peeked through.
"You know, Paula. What kind of atrocities James committed. And that it's not something someone could forgive. Even if he could be forgiven, I couldn't forgive him."
"……"
"Are you disappointed?"
"No."
This time too, my answer was firm. Why would I be disappointed? It wasn't my place to judge, nor did I dare to offer my two cents. In the end, I was an outsider, unable to share his pain.
I knew very well how precious his siblings were to him. For me to dare fathom his state of mind, driven to the brink enough to make the choice to expose that existence from within himself, would be arrogant.
But I did know it was hard for him. Having also lost my siblings right before my eyes, I could vaguely gauge that pain.
"I am not disappointed."
"Really? I might be a different person from who Paula knew."
"I never knew you that well to begin with."
"……."
"Um. I do know that you're someone who smiles unpleasantly often, and spits out cold words that scratch at people's hearts quite well."
"Paula, that's too much. Even I get hurt when I hear things like that."
Ethan placed both hands on his chest and made a hurt expression. Pretending to be hurt when he wasn't really. It seemed his cheekiness had grown in the time I hadn't seen him.
"Am I wrong?"
"In those situations, you're supposed to say, 'Lord Ethan is still a gentle person.'"
"I can't tell lies."
"My. The Paula I knew was a maid who lied very well. She used to spit out lies as naturally as breathing, to the point where I was secretly surprised all by myself."
Honestly, it wasn't to that extent. When I motioned with my eyes not to exaggerate, his expression relaxed and he laughed.
"More importantly, I heard you're attending to Robert?"
"Do you know Master Robert?"
"Of course. He's Violet's son."
"Lady Violet's son?!"
I was completely surprised by the unexpected remark. As I recoiled in shock, Ethan seemed surprised too, scratching his head and asking.
"You didn't know?"
"Uh... yes..."
Oh my. To think Violet had a baby. Come to think of it... they look alike. Especially the eyes. I thought it felt familiar every time I looked at Robert, but to think it was Violet.
Could he be Vincent's son? But I immediately corrected my thoughts. I remembered hearing that instead of Robert's late father, his mother was leading the family and was extremely busy.
"How is Lady Violet doing? No, when on earth did she get married?"
"Not long after Paula left, she formally broke off her engagement with Vincent. Then she immediately married another noble. Marquess Marguerite was a bit hasty."
"And Lady Violet accepted it?"
"She didn't have the right to refuse."
The broken engagement wasn't what Violet wanted either. Her last appearance, being dragged away crying, was still vivid in my mind. She must have spent every single day in tears. It didn't feel good to think she might have been forced into a marriage she didn't want.
"Still, she lived fairly well. Although Marquess Marguerite is strict, she's not someone who would marry her daughter off to just anyone."
"B-but he passed away."
"You heard that too. It was a carriage accident. A tragic event. Right now, Violet has taken over her husband's family and is managing it."
Only then did my curiosity about the Madam, who was so busy she couldn't even visit her son, get resolved. They said she had to manage and lead everything in the family alone after her husband passed away, leaving her with no time to come see her son. I had once heard the wet nurse worry that she was so busy she didn't even have time to sleep properly in a bed, fearing it might ruin her health.
"Still, she's doing well and staying strong, so don't worry."
"Really?"
"I told you, didn't I? That out of all of us, Violet is the strongest."
I felt relieved, as his grinning face seemed to say it was the truth. It might not have been the life she wanted, but I hoped at least she wasn't unhappy.
"If Violet hears news of Paula, she might make some time."
"Please don't."
"Why? She'd be really happy."
Honestly, it would be awkward if we met again. Because our last moment together wasn't good.
"If she's doing well, that's enough."
"Did you two fight?"
"How could I dare fight with her."
"You fought."
I had no idea what he saw to think that. I frowned and shook my head, but Ethan had already concluded that Violet and I had fought. *No, would you listen to me for a second?*
"Robert is just like Violet, completely scatterbrained, right?"
"So he takes after Lady Violet."
"She was quite the tomboy."
"I think I've heard that too."
"Robert is the spitting image of Violet. The stubbornness is the same, too."
He speaks behind her back so easily just because there's no one around. *Don't you know walls have eyes and ears?* Hoping those eyes and ears would deliver this news to Violet, I didn't stop him.
"Attending to him couldn't have been easy, but you seem to be doing well."
"The master I served before also had quite a formidable personality."
"Ahaha. I suppose so."
Ethan nodded seriously.