# 86
86. To You, Whom I Could Not Erase Even When Trying to Forget (10)
I screamed and fell backward. A stinging pain throbbed in my buttocks and fingertips. It hurts! As I lifted my palm, the skin was torn and soaked with blood, though I had no idea when I'd cut it.
Not understanding what was happening, I looked back and forth between my cut palm and him in bewilderment. Vincent's face, illuminated by the moonlight, was flushed red. Covering his mouth with one hand, he also seemed to be struggling to grasp what exactly was going on. It was my first time seeing Vincent so flustered.
"Y-you were so similar... so..."
"Pardon?"
His stammering voice couldn't even form a complete sentence. His emerald eyes, tinged with confusion, didn't know what to do. Seeing him so flustered actually made me calm down instead.
"L-let's calm down first."
"Waaaaah!"
At that moment, crying could be heard. It was Robert's voice. He must have finally woken up.
Oh no. I turned in alarm toward the room where Robert was. Just as I was about to quickly get up, worried about how startled Robert must be, something suddenly yanked my body. I paused and looked down—Vincent was gripping my wrist. As if desperately grabbing hold of someone trying to leave.
As I stared at him with wide eyes, he looked down following my gaze and hastily let go of my hand, startled. I was the one who should be flustered, but he seemed even more shocked. Even in the moonlight, his deeply flushed face was clearly visible.
"Ah, th-that is, it was too dark so..."
"...Pardon?"
What does the darkness have to do with grabbing me? But he seemed to have no intention of answering my question, acting even more flustered than before. Just as I was frowning, wondering if he had something he wanted to say, Robert's crying rang out loudly once again.
He suddenly looked up and glanced toward Robert's room. Then looking back at me, he opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally forcing out a single sentence.
"Stay by Robert's side."
"Ah, yes."
I thought he was coming with me, but once he stood up, he immediately walked off in the opposite direction. No, it would be more accurate to say he ran off. His steps were so fast that he distanced himself to the end of the hallway in an instant. From far away, the sound of thud, thud came in succession, as if he had bumped into something. He didn't even take a lamp with him.
But even if he had taken the lamp, it wouldn't have been much help. His lamp had also fallen to the floor and shattered. Lamps are really breaking a lot today. Thinking this was all because of the thunder and lightning, I looked out the window—the rain had already stopped, and outside was completely quiet.
I examined my stinging palm and sighed. Did I cut my hand on the broken lamp shards? What kind of situation is this. But before I could fully process the situation, I turned around again. I needed to soothe Robert, who was probably crying alone first.
That strange night passed, and morning came. After calming the wailing Robert, I also fell asleep as soon as I lay on the sofa, as if I had fainted. When I woke up, it was already noon.
"Did you wake up?"
Just in time, the nanny opened the door and came in. Come to think of it, I hadn't even taken care of Robert's breakfast. As I hurriedly got up, she told me to stay lying down.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you worked hard all night."
"It's nothing. What about the young master?"
"He finished breakfast and is sleeping in another room. His original room is under repair because the window was in such bad condition. The rain has stopped now."
"That's a relief. I'm sorry for sleeping in."
"It's okay. You worked hard."
She patted my shoulder. I smiled awkwardly and rubbed my stiff eyes. The nanny said I could sleep more, but I shook my head and got off the sofa.
The space was roomy enough, but sleeping curled up made my whole body stiff. As I stretched my arms and yawned, the nanny gasped in surprise.
"My. Anne! Are you hurt somewhere?"
"Pardon?"
At her words, I checked my condition and was startled. I had slept wearing my apron as is, and the white cloth was stained with dark spots here and there. What is this? Looking closer, it was blood. Now that I noticed, bloodstains had also dried on both my hands.
"Good heavens. What happened?"
"W-well."
I examined my torn hands in bewilderment, and felt stinging sensations from my knees and thighs as well. I must have hurt those places too without realizing. Where did I cut myself?
Yesterday's events came back to me in fragments. After Vincent left, the cleanup was my responsibility. First, I calmed the startled Robert and put him back to sleep, then went out to the hallway.
The hallway was in chaos, with even the windows shattered. Seeing wood fragments on the floor, it seemed something like a wooden plank had flown in and broken the glass window. I realized anew the power of the strong wind. Fortunately, there wasn't much oil left in the lamp. If a spark had caught, it could have escalated into a much bigger commotion.
While I was cleaning up the broken glass pieces, I heard crying—Robert must have woken up again. I hurriedly finished cleaning and had to go back into the room.
"The wind blew so hard all night that the hallway windows broke too. I must have gotten hurt then."
"My. Which window?"
"Toward the middle of the hallway."
I briefly explained what had happened during the night. Of course, I left out the part about meeting Vincent. The nanny nodded without any suspicion.
"Rest in your room for now and come back in the evening. I'll clean up here."
"Understood."
I left the remaining cleanup to her and exited the room.
Dragging my tired body through the hallway, a servant suddenly rushed past me. I stared blankly at their urgent-looking back, when other servants followed behind. Every one of them was covered in dirt.
Wondering what was going on, I saw Johnny approaching from afar. But he didn't look too good either. He was covered in dust from head to toe.
"What happened to you?"
"You're one to talk—what happened to you?"
Johnny paused, then frowned and scanned me up and down. Only then did I remember what I must look like.
Are you hurt somewhere? At his serious question, I waved my hand saying it was nothing, then asked what was wrong with him. Johnny grumbled about whether it was that bad and brushed off his clothes, causing dust to billow up. This time I frowned and took a step back.
"A broken tree branch fell and punched a hole right through the hallway ceiling near the central staircase. We've had all the servants called in since morning to fix it—it's been chaos."
"The ceiling? Is it a big hole?"
"It's quite big. They're doing emergency repairs, but they said it could collapse again. The ceiling boards are loose and dangerous, so be careful when passing through that area."
So that's why they were running like that earlier. I thought the wind was unusual at dawn, but I didn't realize it was this bad. Come to think of it, the windows on this side had blown off too. That must be why the nanny didn't question my explanation.
"I heard some windows broke too."
"Ah, right. Over on the opposite side."
"Last time the wall cracked... This mansion must be old everywhere. It's not in good condition."
Johnny scratched his head vigorously with a fatigue-ridden face.
This mansion definitely wasn't well-maintained. The windows rattled so much that even a slightly strong wind could blow them off.
Moreover, while cleaning was done daily, it focused mainly on frequently used areas; other places were cleaned sporadically on scheduled days, so dust accumulated and they were quite dirty. The number of servants here wasn't very large, and even though they were brought in from outside, the lack of proper training made perfect maintenance seem difficult.
"There's a small abandoned storeroom at the very end of the attic? A maid passing by absentmindedly opened the door and had a nasty surprise. She said there were an incredible number of bugs."
"Really?"
"This place is really old. It feels like we're forcing something long-abandoned to function."
Johnny sighed deeply, then said he had to go now and walked away with heavy steps. He was in charge of the broken windows. I saw Johnny off with sympathy and walked down the hallway again.
As I passed by the central staircase area Johnny mentioned, the servants were huddled together, looking up at the ceiling with worry.
There really was a hole right in the middle of the ceiling. And it was quite a big hole. The broken, dangling boards fell down pattering along with rainwater. The figures of servants doing repair work could be glimpsed through the hole. Everyone wore expressions wondering what kind of misfortune this was. The floor was slick and slippery from the rainwater dripping down.
I passed through that area carefully and headed to my room. Alicia, who was lying in bed—perhaps it was her break time—looked at me and was horrified.
"What's with that appearance of yours?"
That was already the third time I'd been asked. I must look pretty bad. I needed to wash and treat my wounds, but strangely I was too exhausted.
"Some things happened."
"What exactly happened?"
"I don't know. I'm tired."
I shuffled over and collapsed onto the bed. Even though I had just slept, drowsiness washed over me. I blinked my heavy eyes and rubbed my face into the pillow. I could hear Alicia clicking her tongue behind me.
"I heard the master briefly stopped by the mansion at dawn. Did you see him?"
"...I don't know."
"Are you saying you saw him, or you didn't?"
"I didn't."
I answered vaguely and curled up. Alicia shook my shoulder, insisting on knowing if I really didn't see him. Annoyed with responding further, I turned my body toward the wall; realizing I had no intention of answering, Alicia let out an irritated sigh and turned away. Only then did I close my heavy eyelids.
What happened at dawn crossed my mind. Perhaps because I was too startled, my memories were already growing hazy. It was as if the thunder had stolen even my memories. Thinking I was alone in that pitch-black darkness, I hadn't been in my right mind. I might have even passed out briefly. When I came to my senses, I was hugging him—maybe I had truly lost my mind.
His deeply flushed face from bewilderment came to mind. Vincent, even stuttering over his words, seemed genuinely shocked.
Come to think of it, why was he resting quietly in my arms? I didn't even get to ask that. Did I cling to him? When my thoughts reached that point, embarrassment washed over me. Ugh, how strange must I have looked. Suppressing the urge to scream, I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter. Let me just sleep.
Then I traced the wrist he had grabbed. The warmth he left behind should have already disappeared, but strangely, my wrist felt hot.
Fiddling with my wrist, I drifted off to sleep just like that. For the first time since coming to this place, I didn't have a nightmare.
* * *
Since that day, I never directly faced Vincent again. His visits to this mansion became sparse, and when he occasionally came to see Robert, he didn't even glance at me once. He was still sending letters through servants, but he no longer directly asked about Robert either. Even when he spoke, he only addressed the nanny. As if he were avoiding me.
I should be the one avoiding him, but since he was avoiding me on his own, I felt strange—wondering whether I should be glad or not. Thanks to that, I was relieved not to be interrogated about where I got the ink, though.
Time flowed quickly. The torn wounds on both my hands healed, the gaping hole in the ceiling was patched up, and peaceful daily life resumed.
Before I knew it, on a day when only a few days remained of my probationary period, a guest came to the Bellunita Count's estate.
It was another reunion.