69. The Maid and the Young Master (3)
Returning to the room, I laid Robert down on the bed. As if his earlier tantrum to go out was all for nothing, Robert grew quiet. He buried his face in the pillow, squirmed for a moment, and fell fast asleep.
Worried he might suffocate, I gently turned his head to the side; his sleeping face looked sullen. Seeing the dampness under his eyes, it seemed he had been crying.
I wiped away his tear tracks and covered his chest with the sheet. After stroking his head for a moment, I carefully left the room. Joelli was waiting for me.
"It's been a while."
"Yes. Why haven't you gone back and are here instead?"
"I'm bored. Let's chat."
She smiled affectionately and turned around. Was she telling me to follow? After a brief hesitation, I trotted after her.
"It's tough putting up with Robert's stubbornness, right?"
"No, it's not."
Of course it is. Even just now, you looked conflicted. Wondering whether to let him up there or not."
"……."
"I understand. It's because the child is lonely."
It was something I had heard from the nanny as well. I stepped closer to Joelli and asked.
"Why does the Young Master want to climb the iron horse so much?"
"He's waiting."
"For whom?"
Then, something came to mind.
Robert's mother.
"For his mother."
Ah, now I understood why Robert was so obsessed with the iron horse. He struggled to climb it with his short legs, on a horse statue that even adults found difficult to mount, because he could look out the window. The horse's head faced the mansion gate, allowing him to see at a glance if anyone was coming in.
Robert was waiting every day.
For his mother to come see him.
"Has Anne heard anything about Robert's mother?"
"I heard the general situation from the nanny."
"Robert's mother is a very busy person. She's so busy leading her husband's family alone that she doesn't even have time to see her child's face. Still, she's leading it well. She's truly an amazing and strong girl. Even when she was young, she looked fragile, but on the inside, she was resolute and bold."
"……."
"But as a mother, she's an absolute failure."
Joelli clicked her tongue. It was a cold assessment, but it wasn't wrong. Robert was lonely enough to climb the dangerous and tall iron horse.
"Robert's heart is aching. There's a gaping hole in his chest, and because no one fills it, he's sad. He only says good things and waits quietly, but the person he's waiting for never comes, and since he can't even get angry, he throws baseless tantrums. When people are sick, they get irritated, right?"
"Yes, I know."
Whether it's a disease of the body or the mind, being sick is hard and makes one irritable. You throw tantrums hoping someone will acknowledge your pain.
"I know it very well. That he's so lonely, and that he just wants someone to stay by his side."
I knew people like that very well.
That man, too, who lost his sight and was confined to his room, fighting against pain.
For a moment, an old memory tried to dominate my mind again. No. I instinctively shoved that memory away. Sorrow was trying to bind me. I clutched my stinging chest and shook my head. When I looked up, I realized I had stopped walking. And Joelli was watching me.
The playfulness vanished from her pretty face. Her gaze was sharp. The previously relaxed atmosphere hardened in an instant. Did I say something wrong? As I panicked and observed her, Joelli soon smiled again.
"Still, he's a good child."
She patted my shoulder. I forced a smile, but I couldn't bring myself to agree. At least to me, he wasn't a good child. When I remained silent instead of shaking my head, Joelli curved her eyes mischievously, as if seeing right through me.
"Just think of it as a cute stubbornness and humor him."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Hehe."
It was advice I had heard from the nanny as well, but this time it resonated more.
"I heard a lot about Anne from the nanny."
"What kind of things?"
"Hmm, that you're hardworking."
Nanny...! I was touched as I recalled her gentle smile. So she was saying such things about me in secret. The resentment I felt for her being away at a time like this completely vanished.
"She also said you have quite the way of handling Robert. She said whenever Robert throws his spoon, you bring dozens more and hand them to him?"
Nanny.... The image of her gentle face shattered with a crash. The touching sentiment fizzled out.
"Hehe. She said you seemed like a fun person."
"Yes...."
"I think so too."
I sent her a look asking what she meant, but Joelli only smiled. Then she waved her hand and told me to go on. Watching her walk away, I tilted my head in confusion. Did she come just to ask me to take good care of Robert?
Since that day, Robert no longer threw tantrums about wanting to climb the iron horse. Instead, he stayed cooped up in his room, looking sullen. He rarely answered when spoken to and didn't try to do anything. His formerly vibrant, almost troublesome demeanor turned quiet, as if it had all been a lie.
As this state continued for several days, I grew anxious. If the nanny were here, I could try something, but she had gone out for some reason and hadn't returned. So, I had to face a difficult situation in a different sense all by myself. Robert was so depressed that I thought it was better when he was being stubborn.
Should I try to comfort him? I agonized over what to do as I watched his unusually small back. But no proper method came to mind. Finally, after much deliberation, I brought out my last resort.
"Young Master, would you like to go for a walk?"
"A walk?"
Robert asked with a gloomy face. I nodded. I remembered him saying he wanted to go outside a few days ago. Going far might not be allowed, but walking in circles nearby should be fine, right?
Whether he became interested, Robert erased his gloomy expression and his eyes sparkled.
"Yeah! Let's go for a walk!"
Seeing him instantly become cheerful and nod repeatedly, I wondered if I had been tricked. However, I couldn't take back the words I had already spoken.
Instead, I decided to get permission. The nanny wasn't around, but fortunately, this mansion had another guardian for Robert.
"Alright. Go and come back."
Joelli waved her hand with a languid expression. Today, she was dressed in almost nothing as well. Before the sheet precariously draped over her shoulders could slip all the way down, she flopped back onto the bed. Beside her lay a copper-skinned man who had spent the night with her.
Having received permission like that, I felt at ease holding Robert's hand tightly as we stepped out of the mansion. Perhaps happy to be outside, Robert beamed continuously.
"Young Master, you must hold my hand tightly. If you let go, we will go right back."
"Yeah, Ugly."
How was that little mouth of his so lively again? Can't he stop calling me Ugly?
Hand in hand, Robert and I walked slowly. After making one full circle around the mansion, we walked the same path again, and again, arriving at the front gate. After walking three laps like that, the smile disappeared from Robert's face.
"I want to go there!"
Robert, who had suddenly stopped walking, pointed into the forest. I shook my head firmly.
"No."
"I wanna go! I wanna go!"
"Absolutely not."
"I'm going!"
"Then shall we go back to the room?"
If it came down to it, I could just throw him over my shoulder and carry him back. When I spread my arms, Robert, who had already experienced this before, clamped his mouth shut. However, he stuck out his lips, squeezed his round eyes tightly, and expressed his obvious dissatisfaction. I pretended not to notice and circled the mansion again.
But the excitement I had seen earlier did not return to Robert's face. Robert, who had been scowling, eventually put on a crying face and looked up at me. The tip of his finger pointed to the forest again.
"Can't I go just over there?"
"No."
When I spoke firmly again, Robert fell silent. I thought he was going to cry, but he suddenly hugged my waist tightly.
"Anne."
What did you just say? I stared at Robert with wide eyes. I wondered what sound I had just heard.
"Anne, Anne."
"……!"
Robert called me again.
Oh my god. I froze in astonishment. My name flowed clearly from Robert's mouth. Robert tilted his head up slightly and looked at me. His violet eyes, moist with tears, sparkled with earnestness. That sparkle pricked my skin like needles.
"Let's go. Hm? Hm?"
Robert rubbed his face against my stomach and shook his body, throwing a cute tantrum. It was truly a 'cute' tantrum. He wasn't throwing things or acting cranky. It felt like I could see the illusion of rabbit ears drooping between his golden hair. Robert was making the cutest possible expression, trying to coax me.
"Anne, let's gooo—"
"Ugh."
Besides, I was weak against this kind of tantrum. It was actually easier to deal with him when he was acting cranky.
Robert stood on his tiptoes. The sparkle drew even closer. I covered my eyes with my hand, but it was useless.
"Hm? Hm? Hmm?"
"Ugh, uck."
My composure crumbled under the cuteness that kept poking at my skin.
In the end, I lost. I couldn't withstand the cuteness he was showing me on purpose. I had a weak immunity to cuteness. Maybe this was why the nanny always gave in to Robert's tantrums! If so, I could understand her.
"Woah! Woah!"
Robert smiled broadly and looked around the forest. I held his small hand tightly and let out a secret sigh. I'm in big trouble if we get caught. My heart pounded anxiously, preventing me from looking around properly.
"Ugly, let's go over there!"
Robert quickly changed his attitude. As if calling my name earlier was a lie, he was calling me 'Ugly' again. How sly, how sly.
"Let's go!"
"Yes, yes. Let's go slowly."
I took a step forward while glancing back. I only planned to go a short distance from the mansion. But Robert kept urging me to go deeper inside.
"Let's go more! More!"
"No. If we go further, the nanny will scold me."
"Woo."
Robert puffed his cheeks out roundly, but no meant no. I gauged the distance to the mansion again.
When I looked at Robert, he was staring at me earnestly with moist eyes, just like before. The sparkle was poured on me again, but I turned my head and avoided it.
"It's not allowed."
Then, Robert fell silent. Taking a peek, I saw him with his shoulders drooped, openly showing his disappointment. I clutched my chest and agonized over it. Should I give in? Or should I not?
'He's still young, you know. Besides, he's so... you know, right?'
The nanny's voice, speaking firmly with an affectionate smile, lingered in my ears. You know, right? You know, right? No, I don't know. Save me, Nanny. I'm weak to this sort of thing!
"T-Then, we'll only go a little bit further. About ten steps?"
"Yeah!"
Robert smiled brightly as if he had been waiting. The lifeless look he had until just now vanished in an instant. Ah, I think I've been tricked again.
In the end, we went further than ten steps. Robert continuously scanned the forest, and this time, I also leisurely surveyed our surroundings. But for some reason, the scenery of the forest had felt familiar for a while now. From the trees densely packed against the sky to the overgrown grass around us, it was a common enough scenery, yet I felt a strange sense of déjà vu.
I feel like I've been here before.
'That can't be right.'
I shook off the useless thought and stopped after moving two more steps from the ten. Robert put on a crying face again, but this time I shook my head firmly. I didn't lose to the sparkle pricking my skin. We had already come quite far from the mansion.
"Let's go back."
I dragged Robert, who started being stubborn again when his cuteness didn't work. I dragged him along as he refused to move. After being dragged for a long time, Robert suddenly shook off my hand.
"I'm going!"
"Young Master!"
I ran after Robert, who was running deeper into the forest. The child ran hard even on his short legs. But since he was still a toddler, it wasn't hard to catch up.
The moment I grabbed his small body, I lost my balance because of Robert's violent thrashing. The side was a steep downhill slope. Robert's body and mine tilted toward the slope. I instinctively held Robert tightly in my arms.