# 40
40. The Moment a Star Fell on the Count's Estate (1)
It was a peaceful day when I was gradually adapting to life with Lucas. Carrying a thick bag of luggage, Violet visited the Count's estate for the first time in a while.
"Paula! I missed you."
The moment she saw me, she hugged me tightly and whispered that exchanging only letters had been regrettable. Then she affectionately rubbed her face against mine, leaving me utterly flustered. This was my first time experiencing something like this, so I didn't know how to react. Do people normally greet each other this warmly? My body stiffened, and my hands, having lost their way, merely flailed in the air.
Lucas, who had been watching us, approached.
"Sister."
"Oh my. Lucas?"
She blinked and swept her gaze over Lucas. From her reaction, it seemed she hadn't known he was staying here.
"My goodness. I wondered where you were."
"I've been staying here for a while."
"That's not fair. You told me I couldn't."
Violet tilted her head and looked at Vincent standing behind Lucas. Sensing her gaze, Vincent feigned ignorance and turned his head away. At that, Violet's cheeks puffed out, but she didn't grumble any further. Instead, she glared at Lucas. Lucas just shrugged and went back to Vincent's side.
"Ethan's been busy lately so it's hard to see him. Everyone's so cold. I only have Paula."
"I'm honored."
She hugged me tightly again. With her nose buried in my shoulder, a sweet scent wafted over. It was a woman's fragrance. My cheeks flushed at that scent, so different from mine.
"Hmph. I'm going to stay here too!"
She shouted toward the two men beyond my shoulder.
"Why?"
"Sister, did something happen?"
The two men reacted simultaneously. Both were questioning her. Flustered, I looked back at them. I gestured to ask what was wrong, but Vincent naturally didn't notice, and Lucas only blinked. Meanwhile, Violet's cheeks puffed out even more.
"Who said I came to see you? I came to see Paula!"
"Pardon? Me?"
"Yes! Come on, Paula!"
And with that, she dragged me up the stairs. For a slender body, she was quite strong. Flustered, I looked back, but the two men didn't seem inclined to save me. Instead, they feigned ignorance as if to avoid getting involved. This time, it was my cheeks that puffed out.
* * *
With one more person in the mansion, it quickly became bustling.
After greeting Isabella, who had come upon hearing the news, Violet unpacked in the room next to mine. The reason was that she wanted to stay with me. She even made me promise that we would definitely sleep together at night as women. Unlike Violet, who was delighted at the thought of chatting, I kept glancing at Isabella. Fortunately, with a calm face, she ordered me to check if there were any problems with the room.
Perhaps because she planned to stay long, Violet had quite a lot of luggage. Last time, she had sent someone because she couldn't bring clothes to change into, but this time she seemed to have come prepared.
"Ta-da! Paula, how about this?"
Violet, who had been organizing her surroundings, took out a pink dress and showed it to me. Multiple layers of lace fluttered at the shoulder line and the undersleeves, and the hem was shaped with frills and lace, giving it a voluminous feel as it went down. And at the waist, there was a pink ribbon that could be tightened to make the waist look slim. Looking closely, roses were embroidered in rows—it was an expensive dress with obviously high-quality material.
It would suit her well.
"It's pretty."
"Right? I think it'll suit Paula perfectly."
Pardon? The strength left my hands that had been touching the dress. When I met her gaze, she smiled. Her smiling face felt somehow threatening. A sense of dread surged up. Instinctively taking a step back, I shook my hands.
"I brought it to give to Paula."
"I appreciate the thought, but I can't accept it."
"Then there's no point."
Still, it was too expensive an item. Hair ribbons might be understandable if I was concerned about the ones I'd been using, but this was not. I refused, saying I couldn't accept something so expensive, but Violet said nothing. She only approached me while clutching the dress tightly.
"V-Violet."
"Come on, Paula. What are you doing."
"Pardon?"
"Take it off."
This time, I asked "Pardon?" a beat too late. Violet was still smiling. Then, taking advantage of the moment I let my guard down while trying to comprehend her words, she lunged at me.
After that, my screams continued. Her relentless hands tried to strip off my apron and black dress. I struggled and resisted in terror, but she paid no heed and removed my clothes with alarming ease. In the blink of an eye, I was left in only my underwear.
Crouching on the floor, I covered my body with both arms. This was my first time experiencing something like this, so tears leaked out. It felt like having my clothes stolen by a robber.
Flustered, I looked up at Violet, and she, still wearing her pretty smile, threw the removed apron and dress far away. It was at a distance beyond my reach. My gaze chased after the dress thrown far away. To me, Violet suddenly thrust something forward. A corset.
"Why this..."
"Since we're dressing up, doing it perfectly will make you even prettier."
"Please save me."
I begged, but it didn't work. In the end, I put on the corset. When Violet tightened the strings from behind, I was terrified. After securing it firmly, she praised me for looking pretty, but having never worn something like this before, I only felt stifled. Still, unlike the pressure when it was first tightened, it wasn't severely suffocating. As time passed, I could breathe somewhat.
Actually wearing it, my waist sank in and a chest I didn't have appeared. Wow. That's amazing. As I marveled and fiddled with the ribbon in the center of my chest, Violet handed me white stockings. When I obediently changed into them, she offered new undergarments too. Seeing her hand over the next garments as if she'd been waiting, she truly seemed to have come prepared.
After putting on the dress in question and even shoes, Violet walked around me, assessing my condition. Her gaze was quite sharp. After circling me a few more times, she clapped her hands with a satisfied smile.
"Nowadays, if the bottom is too voluminous, it looks tacky. This much is just right. Since Paula is slender, showing just a little like this rather than revealing your figure directly suits you better. But as expected, it suits you well!"
"Thank you."
I smiled awkwardly and fiddled with the skirt. The feel of the gloves I was wearing for the first time was unfamiliar. Violet surveyed me once more as if admiring a work of art, then reached for my hair. I panicked and raised my hands to block her.
"What? We need to style your hair. And do your makeup too."
"My hair is fine. M-Makeup is already done."
"Oh come on, wearing something this pretty but leaving your hair as is—how does that make sense."
When Violet approached me, I shook my head vigorously. While backing away, I made it clear I absolutely didn't want it. I didn't care about other things, but my hair was a no. Even as she insisted, I declared I'd rather not wear the dress and struggled to take it off.
Flustered by my attitude, she tried to stop me. I said I'd take it off. Thus ensued a tug-of-war between me trying to strip and her trying to stop me. Then, in an instant, we both lost our balance and fell to the side.
As we fell to the floor, my bangs parted. As she was getting up, she saw my face and her eyes went wide. I quickly covered my face and backed away. Fearing she might approach, I raised my remaining hand to block her.
"Paula."
"Don't, don't come. I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?"
"For being ugly."
She blinked.
"You're not that ugly."
"You don't need to say kind things. I'm fine."
"Paula. I mean it."
"I'm sorry."
I shook my head and moved my bottom backward. Violet tilted her head.
"You may be plain, but I don't think it's something you need to apologize for."
"I'm sorry."
"Paula."
When she leaned in to approach me, I flinched and desperately backed away further. I didn't even care about the dress getting dirty. Violet stopped mid-approach. Her extended hand also halted in the air.
"I'm sorry."
"Paula."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"...."
Violet didn't say anything more. I only repeated that I was sorry. I couldn't lift my head. I was afraid of seeing her face mixed with disappointment and contempt. Criticism from people rang in my ears. The criticism saying I was ugly, useless, hideous, asking how I could walk around with a face like that, tightened around my throat once more.
Don't do this. Don't do this. I didn't want to be born like this either. I shook my head, trying to shake off the criticism. But it only bound me more persistently.
'You're too hideous.'
A boy my age once said to me. Unlike the other kids, he was kind to me, gentle, and played with me. Even though he must have been mocked, he didn't care. I was grateful to him. Somewhere in my heart, I think I secretly liked him.
But it turned out that boy had been secretly in love with Alicia. That was why he hung out with me. He had used me, yet he poured criticism on me instead. Because my face was ugly, my worth as a person was judged solely by my appearance. Someone once told me I should consider it a blessing that I looked like this. That because I was ugly, my father didn't sell me.
But is that really true? Is this something to be grateful for? Should I be thankful for that life just because I didn't suffer worse than someone else? I'm not sure.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sor..."
"Paula. Look at me."
A calm voice reached me. I shook my head. She called me again. Paula. The gentle voice was warm. I stopped seeking forgiveness and caught my breath. Then, hesitantly lifting my head, I saw Violet sitting upright, facing me.
"Paula, listen to me. I don't care what appearance Paula has. So what if you're pretty, so what if you're ugly? Paula is Paula. I like Paula as she is right now. I like the kind Paula who treats me well, gives me sincere advice, cheers me on, and understands me even when I'm stubborn. I think those sides you've shown me are the real Paula. Appearance doesn't matter there."
She smiled gently. In her unwavering purple eyes, warmth overflowed. The sincerity contained in her firm voice and gentle tone reached me.
"I like Paula no matter what you look like."
"...."
"Don't apologize. What is there to apologize for? You didn't do anything wrong."
"But..."
"Oh come on. Do you like me because I'm pretty? Would you have hated me if I were ugly?"
I immediately shook my head. She said see and laughed. Her clear laughter echoed through the room. I couldn't take my eyes off her bright, smiling face.