# 38
38. The Count's Circumstances (8)
After playing around and returning to the mansion, everyone was in a sorry state. Our bodies were filthy, smeared with dirt, leaves, and petals. While having fun, I hadn't noticed, but once I came to my senses, it was embarrassing enough to make my cheeks flush red. How strange must it have looked—two men and one woman running around laughing in a flower bed? It was a good thing no one else was around.
After washing up, as I was shaking out my wet hair, I noticed a thin coat lying on the bed. It was Lucas's. Seeing me running around in a dress, he had wrapped it around my waist.
I recalled the sight of him bending down to show kindness to me, a mere servant. I shook the coat out, folded it neatly, and headed to Lucas's room. His room was located one floor below.
I knocked on the door, but no answer came back. Was he not in the room? Perhaps he was in Vincent's room. Just as I was about to turn around with that thought, the door swung open.
The first thing I heard was a dripping sound. Then my eyes widened at the figure that suddenly appeared from the side.
Lucas was looking at me, half-naked with nothing but pants on.
Perhaps having just washed, water dripped from his damp, drooping brown hair. The stream of water flowing from his wet hair ran down his nape and glided down to his chest beneath. My gaze also followed that stream of water downward.
It wasn't my first time seeing an adult male's naked body. When working in the heat, male laborers often took off their clothes, and being naked while bathing was a given. I had even seen men and women bare and entangled with each other.
Even after coming here, I had seen it occasionally while attending to Vincent. But that had only made me think he was too gaunt and emaciated, evoking pity. Though he had gained some weight recently, now that he changed his own clothes, I hadn't been able to see closely.
But the naked body clearly visible before me had a large frame with moderate muscle, so...
"Paula."
"Yes?"
"It's a bit embarrassing when you look at me like that..."
Only after hearing him call my name did I realize I had been staring intently at his naked body.
"Oh my."
Only then did I cover my eyes with both hands. However, I made gaps between my fingers to secure my field of vision. Perhaps he was also embarrassed, as he smiled and casually covered his chest with one arm.
"What brings you here?"
"I came to return this."
When I held out the coat from my embrace with one hand, he took it and told me to come inside. Then he slipped in first, so I couldn't bring myself to refuse. After briefly looking at the water marks on the floor, by the time I entered the room, he had put on a robe. I felt a strange sense of disappointment and repeatedly scanned his back.
As Lucas tied the sash of his robe, he gestured with his eyes to the table beside him.
"Come and sit down."
"I only came to return the coat."
"Let's have some tea together."
"I'm fine."
I had already drunk plenty of tea during the day, and if anyone saw a young woman in a young man's room in the middle of the night, it could cause misunderstandings. Of course, my condition wasn't likely to provoke such misunderstandings, but I was still a woman. Moreover, I had surprisingly often received such misunderstandings before. So I had to be careful.
When I firmly refused, he laughed. As he approached me, his flat chest was slightly revealed through the loosely tied robe. My eyes quickly scanned it.
"Today was really fun. My brother liked it too."
"Thanks to you, Lord Lucas."
"Thanks to you, Paula."
Exchanging warm compliments, he smiled gently again. I also raised the corners of my mouth and smiled back. It was true that it was thanks to him, so I ended up taking a favorable attitude. And I was genuinely grateful, too.
"It must be inconvenient since there are limited places you can go."
"A little."
"How is life here? Is it difficult attending to my brother?"
"That too, a little..."
I rolled my eyes as I spoke up to that point. Then I added in a small voice, "A lot?" Lucas, who was pouring water into a cup, chuckled.
"I can see why my brother's condition has improved. With such a cheerful person by his side, he can't help but get better."
"It's all thanks to the Master's hard work."
"You don't have to be humble. We can't say Paula's efforts in attending to him don't exist."
My brother probably knows too. He always said the right things. If he said so, I didn't want to argue.
"Your hair."
When I pointed at his wet hair, he felt his own hair. Seeing his puzzled expression, I waved my hand to tell him to bow his head. Lucas hesitantly bent his waist. I dried his wet hair with the towel that had been around his neck.
"You'll catch a cold if you stay like this."
"..."
"It's best to dry it right after washing."
The water dripping from his hair had been bothering me for a while. I mean, I'm the one who cleans, so why couldn't he dry himself properly before coming out? When water stains build up, cleaning becomes a pain. To prevent that, I personally dried his hair. After being motionless for a moment, he bent lower. It seemed he was being considerate so I could dry it comfortably. Hmm, I only intended to lightly wipe off the moisture.
After hesitating, I just dried it enough so water wouldn't drip and stepped back. Lucas straightened his body.
"Now dry it yourself. I'll be going."
Since my business was done, I bowed to leave. I turned around. My back felt strangely prickly.
It was just as I was about to grab the doorknob.
"Paula. Did you know? They say there's a forest inside the castle."
A castle? A forest? At the puzzling words, I turned around to see Lucas standing by the window. Facing me, he swallowed the water in his cup and continued speaking.
"The previous king loved nature and had it artificially created, but they say if you go see it yourself, it's no different from a natural forest. Deep, grand, and beautiful. There's only one door that allows access to that forest."
I had never heard that before. I didn't even know there was a forest inside the castle. Well, I had never been there. I answered casually, but it was actually an interesting topic.
"They say only the royal family can enter. Occasionally, nobles who have been granted access do enter, but that's extremely rare. After entering, you must close the door, and while someone is inside, you must never open the door. That's the rule. Do you know what people do in there?"
I shook my head. He set the cup down by the window.
"They tell secrets."
"Secrets?"
"Yes. They tell secrets that must never be revealed."
Why would they go all the way there to tell secrets? As I tilted my head, he answered my question.
"They usually say even walls have eyes and ears. That much caution with words is necessary. Even more so inside the castle. But how can one live keeping their mouth shut all the time? If you suffer in silence for too long, you can't survive. So they created the only space where you can tell secrets, and that's that forest. Even if you shout secrets there, the walls and door surrounding the forest are so thick that words don't leak outside, and not even a small hole can be drilled. And with guards guarding the door, no one can sneak in. People call that place the Forest of Secrets."
"..."
"Well, it's just a rumor though."
He shrugged his shoulders. Since he hadn't seen it himself either. At those added words, my interest that had been piqued gradually cooled. I thought, what, I thought it was real. Seeing my disappointed face, he laughed.
"For my brother, you must be that Forest of Secrets."
He spun the cup once. My gaze landed there. The spinning cup came to a precarious stop. Then he spun the cup again. Even though it was a meaningless gesture, he seemed quite focused.
"People like us all have one secret each. But since we can't tell that secret anywhere and must bury it only in our hearts, we suffer in silence. Sometimes we want to pour everything out and receive comfort, but we can't just grab anyone and do that, right? So we have to relieve that stifling feeling secretly. Like going to the Forest of Secrets and shouting. For my brother, you must be that kind of existence."
"..."
"And for me, my brother was that."
He spun the cup again, but this time he didn't watch it stop and looked at me. After our eyes met like that for a moment, he pulled himself up from leaning against the window and approached me again.
"Does what I said last time still sound like a lie to you?"
"..."
"I'm telling you, it's the truth. It's my fault that my brother ended up like that."
Lucas stopped in front of me. But his words continued. Even knowing I was confused, he didn't stop speaking.
"I was too weak and could do nothing. I wasn't magnanimous enough to use the family's power, and I didn't have the strength to protect myself either. So I dragged Vincent in. Because I thought I would survive if I did. And this is the result. My brother was harmed, and I was saved. So... this time it's my turn."
"I, I don't understand what you're saying."
"I'm thinking of giving my eyes to my brother."
Confusion became mixed with horror. I doubted my ears at the words he so calmly uttered. Lucas was so composed that I rather wanted to judge that I had misheard.
I exhaled a bursting breath and hastily continued speaking.
"Y-You have gone blind, Master."
"It's not that the eyes themselves have lost their function. The outer surface is damaged. If he has surgery, he'll be able to see. But it's a very tricky and difficult surgery, and so far there hasn't been a doctor who could do it properly. My brother probably knew that and gave up. But recently I heard there's a doctor in a distant country who successfully performed a similar surgery. I'm thinking of bringing that person. Of course, even if we bring them, we can't have them transplant just any eyes to him as a noble, but if it's me... it would be fine."
"You can't give the eyes of a living person!"
"I'm going to die soon."
I couldn't understand that lightly spoken voice, that smiling face. He looked so joyful speaking of his own death. Even as I thought it couldn't be, he really looked like it.
"Don't say such things."
I shook my head wildly.
"That's the only thing I can do."
"Lord Lucas!"
"I'll give them to my brother. My world."
"..."
I realized what the nature of the pressure I had felt from the smiling man was. He was unwavering. He had already made up his mind in his heart. That appearance expressing his sincerity with his whole body was so terrifying.
I opened and closed my mouth several times. I didn't know what to say. My mind was in chaos, and my heart was pounding.
The confusion-colored pupils revealed through my parted hair must have been visible to him as well. Lucas bent his waist. His face came close enough to almost touch mine. For a moment, he looked into my eyes. Then he smiled with his eyes curved again.
"I'm joking."
"...What?"
"I said it's a joke."
His smile turned mischievous. What? I scanned him with a bewildered face. He still had a mischievous expression as he pulled the doorknob behind me. With a creak, the door opened.
I quickly looked back at the swiftly opened door, then looked at Lucas again. He covered his mouth with one hand. His deeply curved eyes were tightly shut. As if he was desperately holding back laughter.
"Your surprised face is cute too."
"Pardon?"
"Good night."
The door behind me opened wider. He pushed my shoulder and sent me out of the room. Then, as if unable to hold back any longer, he roared with laughter looking at my dazed face. That sound came in through the closing door gap, and when the door shut, it abruptly stopped.
After standing blankly for a while, his words "I'm joking" finally entered my mind.
Heat suddenly rushed up. Fuming with a flushed face, I pulled the doorknob. But the door was locked. I shook it several more times, but the door never opened. Only the click-click-click sound echoed in the hallway.
It didn't take long for my scream to echo after that.