3. Love Letter (18)
It was a journey that took quite some time even by carriage. When I stayed at the Bellunita estate, I only had to cross over a single mountain, but heading to the Christopher estate took considerably longer. I was glad I had arranged to meet him there separately. After spending a night at a village halfway, we had to set off again without rest. The carriage, having wound its way into the forest, soon arrived at a certain village.
When the carriage finally came to a halt, Vincent stepped out first. Following him, I alighted with the coachman's assistance and approached Vincent, who was glancing around at his surroundings.
"This is..."
"Filton."
I took in the familiar scenery. It was a small, shabby village that could be taken in at a single glance. The place where I lived was a village that required delving deep into the forest, away from the town center. A place bustling with people starting their day early in the morning.
I pointed at the road we had come from.
"To get to town, you have to walk down from here."
"How far?"
"Hmm, if you start walking in the morning, you'd arrive before lunch?"
When I worked at the bookshop in town or at Mark's bakery, I had to set out early in the morning to arrive on time. But the town of Filton was nothing impressive compared to where he lived. I grabbed his arm as he turned his head this way and that.
"I'll show you around the village."
Vincent readily nodded.
After telling the coachman, who had worked hard driving the carriage, to rest at a suitable spot, I unfurled my parasol. Vincent promptly took it from my hands and placed my now empty hand on his arm. As I instinctively grabbed him, Vincent naturally began to walk, holding the parasol. Despite it being a parasol with lace trim, he didn't look embarrassed at all.
I walked with him, looking around the village. Truthfully, there wasn't much to see in such a small village. Nevertheless, Vincent followed me, looking around and listening earnestly to what I said. Wherever we passed, the villagers' gazes followed us. It was only natural—they must have been curious about why a lavishly dressed couple had appeared in such a humble place.
Just then, someone came running urgently from a distance. A short but quite stout man, followed by an older man. Their running speed wasn't fast, but their hurried approach conveyed a sense of urgency. Vincent and I naturally turned our attention to them.
The two men stopped precisely in front of Vincent. Vincent gently pushed me behind him. The man in front was so out of breath that he seemed like he might keel over. The man standing behind asked if he was alright and wiped his sweat with a handkerchief. While Vincent and I momentarily lost our words at this sudden scene, the man who had caught his breath finally straightened up and spoke.
"Wh-what brings such a n-noble person to such a humble place?"
The man asked, stuttering. In contrast to his forceful approach, his nervousness was evident. When no answer came from Vincent, the man panicked, but then, as if suddenly remembering something, he continued.
"Ah, m-my apologies for the late introduction. I am the l-lord of this village."
The lord? I peeked my head up. It wasn't the village lord I had known. I carefully scrutinized the man who introduced himself as the lord.
...Ah. I knew who he was.
'The lord's son.'
So he had become the lord. I looked at the man anew. His once chubby face now had a more defined contour, exuding a mature atmosphere.
As the man nervously sweated profusely, the older man repeatedly asked if he was alright. Another village man who had been watching approached and wedged himself between us. Passing women also showed interest in what was happening, and upon hearing the situation, kept their eyes on us. It was a wary gaze, as if concerned that strange visitors might do something to the lord.
"It's alright. It's nothing serious."
The lord reassured the villagers.
The previous lord was not a good person. He prioritized his own interests over the villagers and enjoyed displaying this. So when the villagers saw the lord's son, who resembled his father not only in appearance but also in personality, they lamented that he would grow up exactly like his father.
But the man I met again was different from what I had thought. When the lord appeared, the people who had been merely wary gathered around and showed interest. Seeing them interact without hesitation despite the difference in status, I realized he was trusted by the villagers.
"We were just looking around the village while passing by, so please don't mind us."
As Vincent wrapped up the situation, the lord stuttered on.
"Th-then I will assign someone to guide you around the village."
"That won't be necessary."
"O-or perhaps I could guide you myself!"
"I'll decline."
Perhaps feeling that he couldn't offer no hospitality to a noble, the lord bravely proposed a few more times, but Vincent firmly shook his head. Even as the lord trailed off with "B-b-but," Vincent maintained a cool demeanor.
Eventually, the lord's shoulders slumped as he took a step back. The surrounding people patted his shoulder reassuringly.
"Who is that...?"
The lord's gaze fixed on me. At the same time, the crowd's attention also focused on me. I momentarily tensed, unable to hide my bewilderment. I could feel curious eyes sweeping over me. It felt as if the ground was suddenly rising up. I was scared that someone might recognize me from somewhere. I backed away hesitantly, fumbling for my hat with my fingertips. My head dropped downward.
Then I felt a firm grip holding my hand.
"She is my wife."
A gentle voice followed. I looked up at Vincent, who was holding my hand. He shifted his gaze from the lord and looked at me.
'It's alright.'
That was what his eyes seemed to say.
Looking into his unwavering emerald eyes, the tension and trembling that had been constricting my breath all vanished. The warmth of our interlocked hands felt hot. Just thinking that he was by my side made everything seem like it would be alright.
"We simply want to spend time together, so I ask for your understanding."
"Ah, y-yes. I see."
The lord nodded. The villagers also reacted as if it couldn't be helped. Vincent walked through the crowd, still holding my hand. The people's gazes still fell upon me, but that was all. No one called out to me.
From behind, the lord shouted to let him know if we needed anything. Vincent didn't look back. As we walked forward without looking back, I soon felt the people's gazes falling away from us. I let out a small hollow laugh as I looked at the barren flatland. Vincent, who heard the sound, asked.
"What's wrong?"
"It's just, I feel strange."
Even while walking through the village and just moments ago, I had seen familiar faces. From the women who had treated me coldly, to the girl who had tormented me, and the boy who had snatched my food—though they had aged, their faces hadn't changed much. Yet not a single one of them recognized me. They all widened their eyes with interest, but when our gazes met, they would hurriedly avert their eyes and lower themselves.
"It doesn't seem like much has changed."
Why did I feel relieved at the fact that they didn't recognize me, yet feel a bitter feeling welling up in one corner of my heart? This was a different sensation from when I walked the streets with my grandfather. If back then I was uncomfortable with being called 'Young Lady,' now... it was as if the existence of 'me' had disappeared from this place. As if it had never remained in their memories or in the traces of this place from the very beginning.
"It has changed."
Vincent's voice reached me then.
"In what way?"
"You've gotten prettier."
Ugh—I gaped at this completely unexpected answer. In the past, he would have told me not to spout nonsense, but now I was quite used to his emotional expressions like this. I didn't even blush awkwardly.
"Not that kind of thing."
"Then?"
"Never mind."
I hastily wrapped up the conversation, afraid that an even more embarrassing remark might come. As I walked silently with him holding my hand, Vincent spoke again.
"You've changed. You've become brighter and more confident."
"..."
I stopped walking. Vincent took two steps before stopping and turning back to look at me. Staring intently at me as I stood still, Vincent placed the parasol he was holding back over my head. I looked up at the face of the man standing with his back to the sun.
"Want me to hold the parasol again?"
"No, it's fine."
I didn't think I needed it anymore. I took the parasol from his hand and folded it. I could hear Vincent let out a low chuckle.
"Where is the place you lived?"
"That way."
I pointed at the old house a short distance away. The house I lived in was located in the most secluded part of the village. I could imagine the cold house, devoid of any human warmth. Vincent stared intently in the direction I pointed.
"Want to go see it?"
At my question, Vincent nodded once again.
I headed with him to the house where I used to live. The house was left abandoned, exactly as it had been when I last saw it. The surrounding bushes had grown thick, and there were no signs of anyone else living there. It was visibly old at a glance. There was no need to even look inside.
I stood quietly outside the door, and Vincent went inside. I merely watched as Vincent looked around the house. After looking around for a while, he soon came back out.
"What do you think?"
"It's small."
At the expected reaction, I smiled slightly. It is small compared to where you live.
"Still, I lived here with all my siblings. When my mother was alive, the seven of us lived together, and after she left, the six of us continued on."
Then, one by one, they disappeared. In this space that was absurdly small for seven people to live in, there eventually came room. It had been stifling to sleep packed together so tightly that our skin touched, but when I lay alone, all I felt was the cold.
"Not much to look at, right?"
"True."
I let out a laugh again. I was grateful that he didn't call it a good place.
"But I'm glad I got to see where you lived."
At these sudden words, I looked at Vincent again. A face brimming with deep affection was directed at me.
Vincent was smiling. Not a single trace of falsehood could be found on his face as he said so. He wasn't disappointed after seeing a place that was smaller, shabbier, and more unsightly than where he lived. Upon realizing this, a fierce emotion swelled up within me.
I stepped forward and stood beside him. Then I took in the old, dilapidated house that looked as if it could collapse at any moment. Once, I had despised this place, yet at the same time, had clung to it as if it were my only lifeline. But now, it only looked unfamiliar.
"You mentioned Lord Lucas last time. You might be right. I will never forget him for the rest of my life."
I could feel Vincent's gaze. I pretended not to notice and continued speaking.
"But I will show you everything about me. How I lived, what kind of person I was. The journey here was difficult, but still, I wanted to show you. Because this is the place where the 'real' me lived."
"..."
"It's only you."
Long ago, I had heard about a secret forest within the castle. A space where secrets shouted would not leak outside, where not even a small hole could be pierced. It was said that guards stood at the entrance, so no one could sneak in.
If someone asked where my secret space was, it would be this place. Where I was born and raised, where memories with my siblings remained, where the entirety of 'Paula's' life existed. But now, I couldn't show it to anyone. The villagers, with whom I had lived for a long time, would never know that the girl who lived in this old house was me.
The only person who knew my secret was Vincent now.
"Not even Ethan or Lord Lucas— I haven't shown this to anyone. Now, you're the only one who knows about this place."
I faced Vincent.
"Feeling better now?"
"I told you I wasn't angry."
"Then, are you glad to know about me?"
"Yes. I am."
His face drew closer. Our foreheads lightly touched. His softly whispering voice was pleasant to hear.
"I like that only I know."
At those words, I couldn't help but smile.
It was an unremarkable space, yet Vincent kept looking around as if he found everything fascinating. I watched him, then suddenly gazed at the forest behind the house. At first, it was just where my eyes landed. Then, it was where my heart headed.
"Can you stay here for a moment? There's somewhere I want to go."
Vincent gazed at me steadily for a moment.
"Can I not come with you?"
"...Later."
I smiled as if apologizing. Without saying anything more, Vincent nodded. I left him behind, turned around, and stepped into the forest.