3. Love Letter (15)
Standing at a distance where our voices wouldn't carry, I turned my back to them and looked at Edria.
"Miss Deling. I would appreciate it if you didn't tell others about that matter."
"Pardon? About what?"
"That... my actions."
Edria tilted her head as if she couldn't understand what I meant. I hesitantly added an explanation.
"Climbing trees and such, things that happened when I was kidnapped."
"Ah, why?"
"There are some circumstances... Please."
"Well... It's not difficult, but..."
Her face asked why it had to be that way. I couldn't say, 'I thought we'd only see each other briefly that day and never again. And because I'm not actually sick, just pretending to be.' Instead, I smiled sweetly and held her hand tightly. Her gaze naturally fell to my hand grasping hers.
"I'd like everything from that day to remain a secret between the two of us."
"A s-s-secret between the two of us?"
"Yes. A secret just for the two of us."
I emphasized the word 'secret,' but she seemed drawn to a different part. Whispering 'just the two of us' made me a little anxious, but I smiled at her with all my sincerity. Edria's face flushed crimson as she lowered her eyes and fumbled for words.
I asked her again.
"You'll do that for me, right?"
"...Yes, I will."
When the answer I wanted finally came, I let out a sigh of relief inwardly. She promised, so she probably wouldn't tell anyone. When I smiled to convey my gratitude, Edria saw me and suddenly began twisting her body shyly. Why is she acting so bashful?
"So are we friends now?"
"Pardon?"
I wondered what she was talking about now. Seeing my confusion, Edria continued softly.
"Since we shared a secret, that means we're friends, right?"
No, how did the conversation end up there? Unable to keep up with the situation, I just blinked for a moment. Edria kept glancing at me, waiting for an answer. I had clearly rejected her just a moment ago, but as if she had completely erased that memory, her face was filled with anticipation again. And unlike before, I couldn't bring myself to say no.
Sharing a secret is no different from revealing a weakness. I only then realized I had handed my weakness over to her. Perhaps noticing my hesitation, Edria asked softly again.
"We're... friends, right?"
In the end, I reluctantly nodded. Then Edria's previously melancholic face blossomed. For a moment, it felt as dazzling as if a halo was shining behind her.
"Ah! I'm so happy!"
Unable to contain her intense emotions, Edria hugged me tightly. I let out a groan without realizing it. But Edria, not hearing it, expressed her overwhelming joy as it was, hugging me and jumping up and down. Held in her embrace, my body staggered about.
After being drunk on joy for a while, she pulled away from me.
"Then can I call you Pola now?"
"Yes, well."
When I answered hesitantly, she put it into practice immediately.
"Pola. Please call me Edria."
"Yes. Edria."
"Hehe. I'm so happy."
Edria smiled with both hands covering her mouth. Then she hugged me tightly again and rubbed her face against mine. I couldn't stop her joyful actions. However the process went, I was grateful she was this happy. Held stiflingly in her arms, I patted her heaving back.
A new connection seeped into what seemed like an unchanging daily life. Edria Deling, who had become a self-proclaimed 'friend,' had a face full of smiles from the moment she accepted my proposal until we parted. I hallucinated flowers floating around her.
"I'll write you letters. You'll send replies, right?"
"...I suppose."
Now I couldn't even not reply. When I said I'd write back, her face was brimming with happiness.
Since that day, she sent me letters without fail. The contents, which had been imbued with desperate love and longing, changed to everyday stories, but they were still thick enough to be burdensome to read. I wrote back a few times but quickly grew tired. In the end, after talking it over with her, we agreed to reduce the frequency of letters. Instead, she began visiting the Christopher household more often.
From visiting almost every day, Edria somehow became a familiar guest. I had reached the point where I wouldn't be surprised to meet her in my nightclothes after waking up. Thanks to that, I also became close with the man who followed her around. I even ended up exchanging names with him on the spot. The name of the man whose face I had memorized the day Edria confessed to me was Philip. As expected, he was a servant of the Deling household.
"Thank you for making a big choice when it must have been bothersome."
On a sunny day, while taking a walk, Edria spotted a flower bed by the road and went over to look at it. Standing in the shade of a tree, Philip offered me his gratitude. He was polite but had little change in expression and was so stiff that I thought it would be hard to get close to him, so it was unexpected when he spoke to me first. I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck. I hadn't done enough to hear such words.
"The young lady has been smiling more and brightening up since she became close with Lord Christopher. The master was also pleased, saying he'd like to invite you to the Deling household someday."
"Ah, I'll make time later."
Come to think of it, I had never visited. I nodded and said I'd make an appointment on a suitable day. Philip politely bowed, asking me to definitely come. I couldn't understand him making such an earnest request. I wondered why making just one friend made him so happy, but I soon found out the reason.
"With only older brothers with large age gaps, she had no one she could call a friend. She was born late, you see. Moreover, since the young lady strangely lacked an eye for people from a young age, she was severely overprotected because of that. Her naive personality also played a part."
With that, he briefly told me about the incidents she had gone through from meeting strange people. As I listened to his story, my face increasingly crumpled. Even for someone with poor luck with people, it was hard to believe how lacking hers could be—she had lived a life of being taken advantage of. I empathized with the explanation that it was due to her personality of easily trusting and following others. I recalled the incident at the salon last time.
"She tends to be quite clingy. You may sometimes speak sternly to her."
Philip smiled amiably. It was the first time I'd seen him smile. His face watching Edria looking around the flower bed by the road revealed affection. It was distinctly different from his usual stiff behavior toward Edria. Had he always been secretly watching her with such warmth?
I also looked at Edria following his gaze. As if sensing my gaze, Edria turned this way. Soon, smiling broadly, she approached me and naturally took my hand.
"Pola, next time let's go sightseeing in the city together. I know a really delicious dessert shop. A place only I know about."
"Alright."
When I answered readily, she let out a puff of laughter. Swinging our clasped hands, we took steps forward. It was a walk to enjoy on a sunny day.
Walking hand in hand with me, Edria rattled off a list of things she wanted to do together in the future. The plans were quite detailed, as if she had been thinking about them for a long time. It would take years to do all of that. I quietly listened to her plans and eventually let out a laugh. Seeing her looking like the happiest person in the world, I couldn't help but laugh along.
That was how we became friends.
***
Yellow blossoms swayed gently. I looked up at the clear sky. A cool breeze that blew just at the right moment pleasantly scattered my hair. After savoring the wind for a moment, I lowered my head. There lay a small tombstone. I traced the name Lucas engraved on the tombstone with my hand.
"You've finally come."
I'm sorry, I didn't have the courage. I whispered that inwardly. It took a long time before I could come see Lucas.
I never had the courage each time. Ethan said he'd go see Lucas with me whenever I wanted. Each time, I made the excuse of being busy adapting and vaguely answered with 'later.'
I was afraid to go see Lucas. I knew he was dead, but I didn't want to confirm it directly. I still dream of you. I remember you. I felt as if he might be alive and breathing somewhere.
As time passed like that, today I came to see Lucas. As promised at some point, Ethan came with me. I set down the flowers I had brought in my arms before Lucas. Hoping the fragrance of the flowers would soothe his loneliness.
Ethan, standing behind me, looked at Lucas with a faint smile.
"I've been a bit busy lately."
He spoke as if making an excuse for visiting after such a long time. It also seemed like he was awkwardly checking, afraid Lucas might be disappointed—asking if he couldn't even find time to see his little brother despite being busy. Ethan scratched the back of his head vigorously.
"I don't know why there's so much to do. When I watched from Father's shadow, it looked easy enough, but when I actually try to do it, there are so many annoying things. Thanks to that, I'm busy without a moment to breathe. I even find myself wishing I had another body. I learned that being the head of a household is not something anyone should do."
Ethan shook his head as if he'd had enough. I burst into laughter, recalling him venting his complaints while looking at the pile of documents on his desk.
"Don't worry about her. I'm treating her very well."
"Hmm, passably?"
When I added that, Ethan shot me a sullen glare.
"You should say you're glad to have such a good older brother at times like that."
"I'm glad. Very, very much."
I quickly corrected my words. I had recently realized one thing—accommodating Ethan's moods made things easier later. Noticing my intention, Ethan looked at me with disapproval. I pretended not to notice and looked back at Lucas.
"I'm getting quite used to this life now."
"Adjusting very well. Even made a friend."
Ethan said something cheeky. I glared at his smiling face. Even now, recalling his reaction when I said I'd become friends with Edria made me cringe.
When I told him I'd become friends with Edria, Ethan clapped his hands and gave me an overly enthusiastic congratulation. Seeing him not ask for a reason despite my hesitant expression, unlike usual, I caught on that he had secretly hoped for this. On top of that, upon returning to the mansion, I had to stop him from insisting on throwing a congratulatory banquet. It was clear his goal was to tease me rather than actually holding one. Naturally, the banquet didn't happen.
"Miss Edria is quite amusing."
Of course you'd think so. After that, I mulled over his atrocities in my mind once more.