# 152
152. Perhaps It Was All For This Moment (5)
"Paola. I can't just let this go. Vincent seemed to turn a blind eye even though he knew, but I'm not him. I have no intention of letting someone who deceived my friend slide."
"I'll, I'll talk to her. I'll try to persuade her properly!"
I desperately grabbed Ethan. Ethan's face turned stern.
"If you were that worried, you shouldn't have created this situation in the first place. There were multiple chances. Do you know how complacent you were?"
"Yes, I know very well. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry, but please give me just one more chance. I'll talk to her properly. She's, she's... my sister."
Someone might ask why she would do such a thing when she's my sister, but even so, Alicia was my only sister. I couldn't just stand by and watch. So, throwing aside all shame, I persuaded him to give me just one more chance.
Ethan appeared affectionate on the outside, but in reality, he was colder than anyone else. He might be endlessly tender to those he allowed his affection, but not to others.
My clasped hands trembled. I thought Ethan would say no. If he did, I was going to get down on my knees and beg. But contrary to my expectations, Ethan looked slightly surprised. His brown eyes wavered for a moment before he regained his composure and murmured softly, as if sighing.
"I understand."
Permission was granted unexpectedly.
"I'll give you one last chance. If your sister repents and quietly decides to leave this place, I won't bring this matter up again. But if she doesn't, I'll handle it my way. Understood?"
"Yes, I understand."
I answered bewilderedly while continuously observing Ethan. It was a situation where I should be grateful, but it felt strange that Ethan was suddenly showing such kindness. Was he going to change his mind later?
"Why are you looking at me like that."
"Honestly, I thought you would say no."
"I was originally going to say no. But... it's not that I can't understand those feelings."
Ethan's gaze, which had slightly averted from me, wandered in the air. What did that mean? When I scrutinized his face again to see through his hidden thoughts, Ethan sent me an annoyed glance as if saying 'what, why.' The one who needs something always loses. I backed down first.
"Thank you for giving me a chance."
"Enough. I don't want to receive thanks."
Ethan sighed again and wiped his face with dry hands. Having committed a wrong, I lowered my head and watched his mood.
"Rather than that, tell me about what happened with Vincent. Did Vincent say anything when he recognized you?"
Ethan asked lightly, as if trying to refresh the heavy atmosphere. I recalled everything from the day Vincent recognized me until now. No, he said he knew who I was even before that, so I tried to remember from that time too. Come to think of it, there were quite a few things.
"He just... asked why I left. We had a good talk."
Actually, it was ambiguous to say we had a good talk. When Vincent acknowledged me, I was trying to run away. I decided to keep this to myself because I felt Ethan would pour out a bunch of nagging if I told him. Besides, there were other things right now... Then, with a sudden thought, I looked at Ethan seriously.
"You knew as well, didn't you, Ethan? That the Master was looking for me."
At that, Ethan's eyes widened before he slightly turned his head.
"Ah— well. I heard the rumors."
"It seems like he's been looking for me even until now."
"I see."
He didn't look particularly surprised. So Ethan already knew too. Rather than hearing it directly from Vincent, he probably vaguely guessed from hearing the rumors. I continued speaking hesitantly.
"Then do you know why the Master was looking for me?"
"Hmm. What did he say was the reason? Because he missed you?"
"Don't tease me."
"I don't know what you mean."
Whether he truly didn't know or was pretending not to know. I fidgeted with my clasped hands, hesitating before parting my lips.
"He said he... likes me."
I thought an immediate reaction of disbelief would come back. But when I glanced at Ethan, he was a bit surprised but didn't shout about how absurd it was. As the surprise gradually faded from his face, a serious expression emerged.
"I see."
Again, Ethan didn't say much. His unexpectedly calm response actually flustered me.
"Aren't you going to say anything?"
"Not particularly. I was surprised, though."
"I thought you'd say it was nonsense."
Ethan didn't deny it. But I wasn't hurt. Until recently, it was something I couldn't even have imagined. Even now, as I said these words, I felt unnecessarily cautious, and a sense of inexplicable guilt weighed heavy on my heart as if I had committed something wrong. Was I even allowed to agonize over this? Hesitation spread like ripples.
"Actually, I had vaguely expected it. When I heard that rumor, I thought it was ambiguous to say he was simply looking to find out whether you were alive or dead. From Vincent's perspective, he might look for you once, but I also wondered why he would deliberately dig up something that had already passed. If that was the reason, I can understand it to some extent."
"...Is it really wrong after all?"
I added gloomily. Ethan, looking at me, continued in a calm tone.
"It's a difficult matter, but there are many more absurd and difficult things in the world. Compared to that, this might not be such a big deal. It's just a man loving a woman."
Just a man loving a woman. Hearing it put that way made me feel inexplicably embarrassed. I scratched the back of my neck.
"What do you want to do, Paola?"
The question I had circled back to and asked myself time and again flowed from Ethan's lips. What do I want to do? That agonizing question still remained an unsolved problem in my mind. My promise to Vincent that I wouldn't leave here immediately was sincere, but beyond that, I still couldn't provide any answer.
I wanted to be careful. I wanted to agonize and think enough to give him an answer, just as he had honestly shown me his heart. It might be the answer he hoped for, or it might not, but at the very least, I didn't want to unconditionally deny and cast away the feelings he was showing me anymore.
"Don't think too complicatedly. In the end, what matters is each other's feelings. Try choosing as your heart leads. Thinking about the aftermath can wait until then."
"Yes..."
Actually, it wasn't something where I could afford not to think about the aftermath, but I knew well that Ethan was being considerate of me. Grateful for that consideration, I smiled.
Having finished his business, Ethan turned the doorknob and opened the door. But as he stepped out of the room, he suddenly stopped. Following behind him, I turned my head to where Ethan's gaze was directed and widened my eyes. There stood Vincent, unexpectedly.
Vincent looked Ethan and me, who was coming out from behind, up and down in turn. Ethan asked in disbelief.
"What are you doing there?"
"That's what I should be asking you. In there, alone together."
Vincent gestured toward the room door with his chin. His latter words carried an unexpected weight. Ethan, who had glanced back at me standing behind him, looked at Vincent again with narrowed eyes.
"What were you two talking about alone."
"Did you come looking for me to ask that?"
"Because it seemed like you would have said something pointless."
"What pointless thing? How would you know what I was going to say?"
Somehow the conversation was going sideways. Grumbling, Ethan stopped talking and waved his hand. Enough, do whatever you want. Ethan turned around as if making such a gesture. I was still standing in the doorway, looking back and forth between Ethan and Vincent in a panic.
Vincent, who glanced at me once, walked toward Ethan and suddenly smacked the back of his head.
"Argh!"
Ethan turned around, rubbing the back of his head where he was hit, looking bewildered. At Ethan's expression asking what on earth that was for, Vincent replied casually.
"Because you were annoying."
"What?"
"You already knew everything when you came to the mansion last time."
At those words, Ethan's pouting lips withdrew. Vincent's gaze turned icy. It was too late to deny it. Ethan panicked and trailed off.
"Th-at... well, you see..."
"Enough."
"Hey, enough my foot. Wait. I have something to say."
As Vincent turned away, Ethan reached out the hand that had been on the back of his head and desperately grabbed him. I could sense Ethan wracking his brain, probably thinking he needed to make some excuse at least. Meanwhile, Vincent strode over to me, draped his arm over my shoulder, and looked back at Ethan with a parting shot.
"I'm not playing with you anymore."
I looked up at the back of Vincent's head as if looking at the most childish child in the world. But the one dragging me along was a full-grown adult. For such an adult to spout the absurd line about not playing with someone anymore. Even though he had his back turned, I could vividly picture Ethan's dumbfounded face upon hearing those words.
I wondered why he made such a childish remark, so unlike him, but perhaps he was trying to lightly resolve the fact that Ethan had known my identity but hadn't told him. It would be unsatisfying to just pretend not to know, but it would also be awkward to seriously interrogate him. Of course, that was just my guess.
"Still, please play with Ethan again later when you feel better."
I offered my advice seriously. After all, it was related to me, so I wanted to resolve it nicely. I knew well that Ethan hadn't told Vincent about my identity for my sake, so I didn't want their relationship to sour over that.
"You seem close with Ethan."
"Well. We've known each other since I was in the annex."
"You look very close for that. Very, very close."
I felt like I'd heard something similar before. I scratched the back of my neck vigorously. Surely he wasn't trying to say he was unhappy about me being close with Ethan? This too was an unfamiliar emotion to me, but I thought, surely not. Vincent being jealous of Ethan... that was absolutely absurd.
"We're not that close. Ethan is much closer to you, Master, than someone like me."
I brushed off those needless thoughts and replied lightly. But Vincent suddenly stopped walking and looked back at me. He looked extremely angry.
"What do you mean 'someone like you'?"
His voice, squeezed out as if grinding his teeth, was terrifying. Somehow the spark flew in a different direction. I didn't expect him to get angry over something I said casually. I gauged his mood before slightly bowing my head.
"I'm sorry. It was a slip of the tongue."
"I don't want to hear it even if it was a slip. Don't say that again."
"Yes... I'm sorry."
He looked displeased even with my apology, but he didn't get angrier. I changed the subject as if to shift the mood.
"By the way, have you met with Lady Violet again?"
"Not yet."
"I see. You met with Lord Robert earlier. The two of them seemed to have missed each other a lot—they were hugging and happy."
"I suppose so. It's good that they were happy."
Despite his words, his voice was still sullen. I hurriedly brought up another topic.
"But Lady Violet's personality seems to have changed a bit. Should I say she's become more lively?"
Actually, saying she became more lively was an understatement—her rough language was quite shocking. Still, I chose my words out of politeness, but Vincent added casually.
"That was always her personality."
"S-she was always like that. I didn't know."
Then does that mean she hid her true personality when I met her 5 years ago?