# 140
140. Met the Count Again (9)
Everyone lives a life of penance. A man wandering the slums once said, 'People have no choice but to live by sacrificing others.' Others took his words as a joke, but I resonated with them to some extent. Because even in my beggarly life, someone's sacrifice followed.
The lower class tramples and sacrifices those among themselves, while the upper class tramples and sacrifices even more people. That might be why people strive to live a more upright life.
And just as my life was, Vincent must have lived such a life as well.
Worrying about how to live, getting hurt, aching from someone's sacrifice, yet struggling within it all to find happiness.
Regardless of gender and status, I thought we all live the same life. Though the direction and depth of our lives may all be different, we all live in the present for our own happiness, and for the happiness of the precious people beside us.
Then I felt a sense of kinship with Vincent.
"Why do you keep crying?"
I asked while wiping the face that couldn't stop crying. Then Vincent grabbed my hand and rubbed his cheek against it.
"Because I'm anxious."
"Anxious about what?"
"I'm so glad I'm not alone. That's why I'm anxious."
I don't know how many times that low resonance touched his lips. Vincent leaned into me and acted as spoiled as he wanted. The sight of a large person clinging to someone smaller than himself felt unfamiliar yet pleasant, because I knew he was truly finding relief through me.
I now understand what it means to find someone lovely. I thought he was lovely for leaning on insignificant me. I wanted to embrace him back while tightly hugging his back. I held him fully in my arms and tried to respond to his heart.
Morning had broken before I knew it. The sunlight streaming through the window was strong. That's why it was warm. I sat blankly and watched the sun rising outside the window. The rays of light striking across the floor were so dazzling I squinted one eye. I raised a hand to block the light. On the bare skin untouched by the light, the cool morning air made my body shiver.
At that moment, my body suddenly fell backward. The arm wrapped around my waist gained strength, and my body was pulled into a large embrace. Our legs tangled, and where our bodies touched, warmth was breathed into me. But my nose and mouth were pressed against his chest, making it hard to breathe. When I twisted my body, a voice heavy with drowsiness came.
"Sleep a little more..."
He mumbled while rubbing his lips against my hair. I should get up. I blinked my eyes and then, hearing his even breathing, moved my body to barely free my nose and mouth. I exhaled and rested my chin on his shoulder. I forcibly held on as my body kept growing languid and my mind kept going blank.
"The sun is already up outside. You need to get up."
"...It's fine."
"I'm not fine."
When I squirmed to escape his embrace, he hugged me tighter and rubbed his face against my head. This isn't the time for this. It was already close to breakfast time. If I don't appear, the nanny might find it strange. So I heaved my body again and succeeded in escaping his embrace, but I ended up losing my direction. My freed body rolled right off the bed.
My body hit the floor with a thud. It hurt, but I couldn't even touch it with my hands. The sheet that had been covering me as I rolled in bed was wrapped around my entire body. As I wriggled with my body rolled up in the sheet like a caterpillar, Vincent soon poked his head out from the bed. He scratched his disheveled back of the head and asked.
"What are you doing?"
"Please help me up."
When I finally asked for help, Vincent blinked with a dazed face and reached out his hand. He lifted my sheet-wrapped body as is, then flopped back down on the bed. I had my left cheek pressed against his chest before I came to my senses again.
"Let's sleep a little more. Okay?"
"No. It's already breakfast time."
"Hungry?"
"Not me, I need to take care of the young master."
The nanny must be preparing in my stead since I overslept, but I still couldn't stay like this. Unable to find the edge of the sheet, I tried folding and unfolding my body to regain my freedom. However, that movement was blocked because Vincent hugged me and rolled over.
"Argh!"
My body was pressed under him. It was suffocating, but he showed no intention of letting go.
"You're heavy."
"Try to bear it."
"I don't want to. I can't breathe, so please get up."
"No."
"Master."
When I called him like scolding a whining child, Vincent suddenly rose. With one hand propped on the bed, his face looking down at me showed signs of dissatisfaction.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I didn't know well, but hearing it now, it bothers me."
"Bothers you about what?"
"Call me by my name."
I was flustered by the unexpected suggestion.
"Call me quickly."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I can't."
To dare utter his name was something I couldn't even imagine. I shook my head vigorously and refused his suggestion. Then Vincent looked at me disapprovingly and started pressing me.
"I'll allow it, so call me. I want to hear it."
"I said I can't. More importantly, could you untangle this?"
"Don't tell me you don't know my name?"
"If not, it would be nice if you could move aside. You're in the way."
"Do you really not know?"
The conversation wasn't getting through. Vincent narrowed his eyes. Seeing his shocked face as if I truly didn't know his name, a sigh escaped me naturally.
"I know it."
"Then call me."
"I refuse."
Since it seemed he wouldn't untangle the sheet wrapped around me or move aside, I turned my body sideways. I thought the sheet would come loose if I rolled around on the bed, so I tensed my body, but Vincent suddenly pounced on me. Grabbing my shoulders, he brought his face close.
"Paula."
His husky, sleep-laden voice sounded unfamiliar. Feeling inexplicably twisted up inside, I tried to subtly slip away, but he caught me again and pulled me back. Dry lips touched my ear.
"Paula, Paula, Paula—"
"St—stop calling me that."
Calling a name a lot doesn't wear it out, but I couldn't bear the ticklish feeling. When I gently scolded him, Vincent leaned his face diagonally against my shoulder and said.
"You call me too."
The emerald eyes, now free of drowsiness, blinked. Seeing his face full of anticipation as if he really wanted to hear it, my resolve gradually crumbled. I darted my eyes around, hesitated, and then slowly parted my lips.
"...Lord Vincent."
After uttering it out loud, I felt extremely embarrassed. Suddenly the room felt stiflingly hot. I laughed awkwardly and turned my head, looking for a mouse hole to hide in. Whether he didn't know my feelings or was pretending not to, Vincent's voice came.
"Your face got really red."
"G-get away from me!"
He brought his face even closer, trying to see my reddened face, and I squirmed to avoid him. But with my body and path blocked, avoiding him was impossible. He was giggling and examining my face, which made me want to die of annoyance. So I resisted more persistently, squirming, and before I knew it, I had reached the edge of the bed.
When I pulled my body backward with all my might, I suddenly dropped down. The sheet finally came loose after I hit the back of my head on the floor. I pressed my finally freed arms against the floor and lifted my upper body. Then I grabbed my hurting back of the head and groaned.
"Ahaha!"
Suddenly laughter rang out. Vincent was lying on the bed laughing. It felt like my face was turning red again. I sat on the floor and glared at him fiercely.
"You did that on purpose to tease me, didn't you?"
"No, no."
Vincent waved his hand and sat up. He even had tears from laughing too much, so any rebuttal wouldn't take effect. This time I looked at him with utmost disapproval. Then Vincent lowered his hand that was wiping tears and smiled joyfully.
"Call me that from now on."
"...I'll think about it."
Seeing his innocent face, I couldn't bring myself to say no again. When I answered with diminished resolve, his laughter rang out again. He definitely did this intentionally.
When we went outside the annex, the morning air was quite fresh. I took a deep breath of the fresh air and stretched. Then, holding hands with Vincent, we headed into the forest.
Unlike the night, the forest scenery seen in the morning felt different. The lush trees and grass that put the eyes at ease, and the birdsong approached pleasantly. I tilted my head back, looked up at the clear sky visible through the trees, and enjoyed a short walk.
When we arrived at the mansion in the forest, it was already bustling with servants who had started their morning. I glanced at him and let go of his hand. Vincent looked back at me.
"Why."
"Go quickly before anyone sees."
Even though our relationship had changed, I couldn't ignore the eyes around us. If I appeared holding his hand in the morning, anyone would find it strange. I still wasn't confident. So I pushed him slightly, but Vincent immediately took on a slouched posture.
"I said go quickly."
"Why should I go?"
"Because if someone sees us like this, they'll think it's strange..."
"They could think I came to have breakfast with Robert."
That... could be true. It definitely wasn't a completely strange situation. But... entering together still didn't seem right.
"Then I'll go through the back door, and Master should enter through the front door. Understood?"
"I told you to call me Vincent."
"This isn't the time for that."
If we kept this up, someone might take interest. I pushed him toward the front door and created distance. Then I hid my body in the bushes and headed for the back door. I quickened my steps as quietly as possible, worried my footsteps might be heard. But Vincent was following behind me.
"Why are you following me? I told you to enter through the front door."
"I don't want to."
What? This wasn't the time to be stubborn. I was worried to death that someone might see us at any moment, but Vincent had a face that said he didn't care at all, which was frustrating. I looked around the fortunately still empty surroundings and told him.
"Go away. Keep your distance."
"I said I don't want to."
"Why don't you want to?"
"Because I don't want to be far from you."
I said this isn't the time for this. I waved both hands as if to hide my reddening face and backed away. I tried to create distance by moving myself, but Vincent, noticing my intention, scrunched his face and strode forward, grabbing one of my wrists.
"This isn't the time for this!"
"Come to think of it, I don't think I've heard it from you."
The topic suddenly changed. I stopped resisting and stared blankly at him. What was he talking about?
"I haven't heard what you think of me."
"What's that all of a sudden... Why do you want to hear that?"
"It's natural to be curious about the heart of someone you like."
I couldn't hide my fluster at his sudden words. No, why, now, that, that thing. My face ended up dyed red again. I couldn't understand his words or why this situation had suddenly come about, so I stuttered.
At that moment, a maid came out of the back door. The woman, who had been walking while tying her apron, stopped when she saw me and Vincent standing there holding my wrist. Then she opened her eyes wide and repeatedly looked back and forth between me and Vincent.
"Uh..."
Seeing her pointing at Vincent with her hand, it seemed she knew who he was. I flusteredly yanked my hand out of his grip. Just then, the woman's finger was moving past Vincent toward me. I pointed my finger between her and Vincent.
"Uh! Over there!"
At my words, the two people's faces turned toward the empty area outside the bushes. Taking that opportunity, I nimbly slipped into the mansion. Worried Vincent might follow, I quickly walked down the hallway and went up the stairs. I was about to head to Robert's room but stopped short.
Since I had only come out briefly last night to drink water, I was still in my nightclothes. I looked down at my attire with a thin skirt fluttering and pressed my forehead. This was clearly a look that anyone would misunderstand.