# 138
138. Met the Count Again (7)
"But what brings you here? And in the middle of the night, no less."
The moon was hidden behind clouds today. Noticing that my question carried worry about what would happen if she wandered alone at such a late hour and suffered a seizure, Vincent scowled.
"I told you before, nothing happens just because I walk alone at night."
"Is that so."
"It wasn't even alone. I was on my way back from walking Joelli to her room."
Come to think of it, Joelli had gone out earlier today. Not for her usual walk, but an actual outing. I had been curious seeing her get into a carriage visible through the window while walking with her nanny in the corridor, and the nanny told me she was going out, which surprised me. Perhaps because it was the first time I'd seen her go out since coming here, I'd wondered where she was headed—so Vincent must have accompanied her.
"You seem more worried than I am."
Concern seeped from his gaze as he examined my face. I brushed a hand across one cheek. Did I really look that unwell?
"You're the one who should be explaining what you're doing out at this hour."
"I came out to get some water because I was thirsty."
"I believe there were instructions not to leave your room recklessly at night."
"……I was just going to drink some water and go right back."
Vincent sent me a most displeased look at my words, but I pretended not to notice.
Now my turbulent mind had calmed somewhat. Then my behavior from moments ago came to mind. Thinking about it now, anyone who saw me would have wondered what on earth I was doing. I got scared alone, startled myself alone, screamed alone, and ran away alone.
It was fortunate that the person who found me was Vincent. If it had been someone else, rumors might have spread the next day about a crazy woman. A sudden feeling of embarrassment welled up.
"The night air is chilly, so let's get up."
"Yes."
The desire to drink water had suddenly vanished. I rose with the intention of just returning to my room, but a lingering tremor remained in my body. I grabbed my slenderly trembling arm. I could feel Vincent's gaze sweeping over me. I tried hard to smile and pretend nothing was wrong, but he had already noticed my trembling.
Vincent took off the jacket he was wearing.
"I'm fine."
I waved my hand in refusal but couldn't stop him. It wasn't even that cold……. In the end, I had to stand awkwardly with his jacket draped over my shoulders.
"Since we're already out, shall we get some fresh air?"
"At this hour?"
When I asked back, Vincent nodded.
"You're the one who said I shouldn't go out carelessly."
"Who's going to say anything when I'm doing as I please in my own mansion?"
I let out a hollow laugh at his shameless words.
Vincent took the lead and walked down the corridor. I followed him and glanced back. I unnecessarily gave the iron railing a look but soon confirmed again that no one was there and turned my head back. Perhaps it was because of the lamplight, or perhaps because Vincent was with me, the dark corridor no longer felt frightening.
I thought he wanted to simply stroll around the mansion when he suggested getting some fresh air, but Vincent left the mansion grounds and headed toward the entrance of the forest. Just as I was about to call out to him in bewilderment while following behind, Vincent stopped walking. His silent gaze into the forest seemed strange.
"What's wrong?"
When I asked, Vincent looked back at me and suddenly extended his hand. I stared at the hand held out before me with a puzzled look.
"Take my hand."
What was he talking about now? I thought I'd heard wrong again. So I stood there unable to react right away, and Vincent flicked his hand once.
"I said take my hand."
"Why the sudden hand-holding?"
I asked, barely coming to my senses.
"I used to hold your hand often before."
"That's true, but is there a reason we need to hold hands right now?"
"It's too dark around here."
"……?"
It had been dark since we were at the mansion. Perhaps because the moon was peeking slightly through the clouds, it was brighter outside than at the mansion, but the forest was just as dark. But what did the darkness have to do with asking me to hold his hand?
"What if you have a seizure while walking in the forest?"
"No, you just said earlier that walking alone at night was fine."
I retorted in disbelief. He had looked so disapproving when I explained why I was out at night, and now what was this?
"I got scared because someone screamed and claimed they saw a ghost. And seizures can happen suddenly. If I suddenly collapse while walking through that dark forest, will you take responsibility?"
I had screamed, but I never said I saw a ghost. Seizures could indeed happen suddenly, but from his attitude, he showed no signs of being afraid of the dark. I looked at him coldly at what sounded like nonsense to anyone, but Vincent paid no mind and merely flicked his fingers again.
"Hurry up and take my hand, then lead the way."
"I don't know the way."
"I'll tell you, so don't worry."
Well then. Just as he wanted, I clasped hands with him and led the way into the forest.
The dense forest was as dark as the mansion. The light from the lamp Vincent carried behind me illuminated the path, but it didn't dispel the dreary atmosphere. Moreover, the rustling sounds from who-knows-where and the hooting of owls heightened that atmosphere even more. Thanks to that, I couldn't count how many times I'd flinched. Honestly, the forest was too scary for a light breeze.
"Go right."
But Vincent merely guided the way in a calm voice. I swallowed dryly and walked as he directed. I gripped our joined hands tightly—it must have hurt, but he didn't let go. The warmth transmitted through our hands made me feel that I wasn't alone. At that, my startled heart seemed to soothe somewhat.
Being like this made me feel as if I'd returned to five years ago. Because Vincent couldn't see, I had to hold his hand like this and lead the way. At first, Vincent had hated even stepping out of his room, but at some point, he quietly walked with our hands clasped together. As I felt like I'd returned to those days, even the cold air of the forest felt nostalgic.
As I walked the path Vincent guided, I soon reached the end of the forest. Emerging from the woods, the annex came into view right ahead. The stone walls were still entwined with tree trunks like vines, giving the appearance of a place long untended.
So getting fresh air meant going to the annex. While I quietly gazed up at the annex, Vincent led me toward its front door.
However, the door handle was wrapped in chains. Vincent rummaged through his pants pocket, took out a key, and inserted it into the padlock hanging in the middle of the chain. Soon, with a click, the chain and padlock fell away, and Vincent opened the door.
Creaking open with a metallic sound, the inside of the annex was cloaked in an eerie atmosphere. There was no sign of human presence—not even a trace of warmth. Vincent walked forward, lighting the way with the lamp. Led by him, I moved my feet while continuously glancing around.
It really hadn't been used for a long time; ornaments and furniture lay abandoned, covered in cloth. Even the sound of the wind echoed frighteningly inside the annex.
Vincent, who had gone up the stairs, headed for the room he used to occupy. Upon entering, the room was exactly as it had been five years ago. The bed placed in one corner and the window occupying the opposite wall came into familiar view.
Vincent, who entered first, opened the glass cover of the lamp he carried and lit the lamp sitting on the bedside table. Then, he familiarly lit the lamps placed here and there on the floor, table, and by the door in turn, before closing the cover and setting the lamp back under the bedside table.
"Come here."
Vincent called me, extending his hand. As I approached and our hands met, he led me as I was and sat me down on the bed. Even the creaking sound of the bed was familiar to my ears.
"Fortunately, the moon isn't hidden here."
True to his words, the moon had risen vividly beyond the window. I took in the clear moonlight. As I did, I felt Vincent watching me.
"It's been five years since you last came here, right?"
"Yes."
I nodded slightly and looked around the room again. I hadn't noticed it five years ago, but looking now, there was nothing in the room except the necessary furniture.
Joelli's room was decorated splendidly with curtains, rugs on the floor, potted plants, and ornaments, but this place showed no such signs. It was as bleak as could be, as if reflecting him who needed nothing five years ago. The only difference from back then was that the objects once scattered messily across the floor were now gone.
"You don't use this room anymore, I take it?"
"No. Because there's no need to use it anymore."
I see. Since he had used this as a space to hide in the past, there was no reason to stay here now that he was better. At that, a slightly bitter feeling arose.
"Still, I do visit here occasionally like this."
"Really?"
I had thought this room seemed remarkably clean compared to the hall and corridors. Perhaps because he visits occasionally, it seemed this room alone was being maintained periodically. I smiled slightly, thinking he was keeping this as a cherished memory, and Vincent smiled back, looking beyond the window.
"Sitting here like this makes me feel like I'm not alone, which I like."
"……."
His low voice created a small resonance. His face gazing at the moon bore a soft smile.
"Not being able to see was a terribly frightening thing, but it made me feel like I wasn't alone. It felt like you would open the door at any moment and come in to nag me. When I was afraid, it felt like you would hold my hand and take the lead, and if I said I was scared, you'd tell me that was understandable. Thinking that you would always be by my side like that made being in the darkness no longer frightening."
"……."
"It was because you were there that I could find courage."
I hadn't expected to hear such words from him. I hadn't known I'd share this kind of conversation with him. How could I not be happy that Vincent was acknowledging the efforts I'd made, thinking I was doing my best five years ago?
I was someone who lacked confidence in everything. I had no courage to step forward, and I was desperate to hide myself with long bangs and a thoroughly hunched posture. It was an oppressed life. The first time I stepped forward and voiced my own opinions was when I stayed here five years ago. Perhaps it was because I met someone even more withdrawn than me, wishing for death. While staying here with him, I learned that I could be someone who gave courage to another. I came to realize that I could leave a deep impression on someone like this.
My nose tingled with emotions surging up. The slight touch of fingertips breathed in warm warmth, just like when holding hands. That warmth seemed to fill the hollow emptiness in my chest completely.
Five years had passed, but I faced him in this room like this. Sitting side by side, reminiscing about the past felt like a dream. But even if it was a dream, it was fine.
"Did you miss me?"
I voiced the question Ethan had once asked. Then Vincent let out a soft laugh.
"What about you? Did you miss me?"
Did I miss Vincent? That answer had been decided from the moment I spoke with Ethan.
"I did miss you. I worried a lot, too."
When I answered honestly, Vincent made a pleased expression.
"Me too."
Moonlight densely illuminated Vincent's face. Emerald eyes tinged with gentle light captured me and sparkled. That face, now vibrant again and able to smile brightly, I will never forget until the day I die.