# 130
130. The Maid Stands Before the Secret (9)
"What's wrong with you?"
"Come with me. Okay?"
"Stop spouting nonsense and let go."
"Alicia."
"Let go!"
Alicia shook off my hand and immediately turned around. I urgently grabbed her and stopped her. Alicia glared at me fiercely, but I didn't care.
I couldn't just leave Alicia like this. It was as obvious as looking at a fire what would happen if she went back now. There was no such thing as an eternal secret in the world. No matter how much you hide it and cover it with lies, it was bound to be discovered someday.
Moreover, the opponent was a noble. They might be deceived for now, but it wouldn't last long. Just like the man and woman who died suspicious deaths without even letting out a scream, there was no guarantee that Alicia wouldn't end up the same way.
What Alicia did was outrageous, but I couldn't just pretend not to know she was in danger.
"Please listen to me. What you did will be discovered anyway. Rather, run away like this, meet another man, or whatever, and start over. That's better."
"So that's why you even brought a bag to suggest we run away together?"
Alicia's sharp eyes darted to the bag in my hand. I shrank back and subtly hid the bag behind my back. Seeing that, Alicia let out a scoff. She had realized that my promise to listen to her was a lie.
She was right. From the beginning, I had no intention of listening to Alicia. What Alicia wanted was an unattainable dream. I only came here to run away with Alicia.
"What changes if we run away?"
"At least you can live."
"With nothing to our names, struggling in poverty, and begging others?"
"Yes."
"I don't want that. I can't live like that."
Her firm voice rejected my feelings. Alicia twisted the arm I was holding. I tightened my grip and held on.
A brief struggle ensued. As we grappled and shoved, Alicia pushed me hard and tried to leave, but I barely caught my balance and blocked her. I couldn't understand Alicia's stubbornness even in this situation.
"Why? Why can't you live like that? Everyone lives like that."
"What does it matter to me how other people live! I'm telling you I can't live like that!"
"You could die like this!"
I finally couldn't hold back and yelled. My booming voice mixed with the wind and echoed back to me. I caught my rough breath. Alicia paused for a moment, panting heavily as she glared at me.
I calmed my excited emotions a little before continuing.
"I'm not saying this for nothing. If those people find out you lied, they will never let you go. So..."
"Do you know what pisses me off the most?"
Cutting off my words, Alicia sneered. I closed my mouth and looked at Alicia, who was brimming with venom.
"That you're genuinely worried about me."
"……."
Her malicious words pierced sharply through my heart. My face stiffened involuntarily, but Alicia didn't stop her sneering.
"Who are you to worry about me? What does it matter to you whether I live or die?"
"You're my sister."
"I never asked you to treat me like a sister, nor did I ever ask you to worry about me. I'll take care of myself, so mind your own business and find a way to survive. Anyway, I only followed you here because you said you'd listen to me, so keep your promise. This actually works out better. Don't cling to me annoyingly later and just get lost like this."
"Do you really have to say it like that?"
Why does she always act so coldly like this? Even when I say something nice, she distorts it, and when I worry about her, she hurls insults first. Alicia was always like that to me. No matter what I did, she was always busy spitting out hurtful words first.
"Is it wrong for me to worry about you?"
"It makes me feel sick, so stop doing things you normally don't do."
"Alicia!"
"Get out of the way!"
Alicia shoved me hard, causing me to finally let go of her arm. Leaving me falling on my backside onto the ground, Alicia ran back the way she came. I urgently chased Alicia's retreating figure with my eyes. The distance had already widened too much to catch her.
I was angry.
"I don't care anymore. Do whatever you want!"
I shouted loud enough for Alicia to hear and picked up the bag that had fallen on the ground. Then I got up and ran into the forest on the opposite side.
That's it. Let's end it all. Just throw everything away and live my own life. I was tired of watching my back, fearing someone might kill me, and I wanted to stop trembling in anxiety that Alicia's deeds would be discovered. I didn't want to hear any more of Alicia's words, which only showed irritation without understanding my concern. I did enough. Running, I comforted myself with those thoughts.
As I ran, pushing through the bushes, I saw the exit leading out of the forest. Before I knew it, the moon had risen in the sky. I was afraid I had come to a strange place, but fortunately, the surroundings were familiar.
The annex where I had worked five years ago came into view.
I had wanted to visit at least once if I had the chance. However, the appearance of the annex was a little different from my memories. Thin tree trunks crept up the stone walls, coiling around them like vines, and perhaps because it hadn't been cleaned for a long time, dirt-like substances crumbled down when I touched the wall. The noise made by dry leaves falling from the trees and sweeping across the ground was dreary. From somewhere, the howling sound of the wind echoed.
Touching the rough wall, I headed for the forest behind the annex. Because I had lost my way, quite some time had been delayed. At a glance, the forest was so dark that I couldn't see ahead. There was a risk of losing my way, but the fortunate thing was that I still had memories of this place.
I entered the forest behind the annex, tracing my past memories. This time too, I headed towards the bushes where there was no path. Walking in the direction where the bushes were particularly overgrown, I felt around the surrounding trees one by one with my hands. How much time had passed like that? On a certain tree, I felt the stamped mark of the seal I had been looking for so desperately.
Tracing that texture, I headed inward little by little. Walking through the dark forest was not easy. My clothes got caught on branches, and I almost tripped over stones several times. The wind was blowing particularly strong today, constantly blocking my vision. Still, after walking non-stop, I arrived at a space surrounded by trees.
Seeing it for the first time in a long while, the place was exactly as I remembered. Still mysterious and quiet.
And I caught sight of a rusty iron door hidden by the bushes. The iron chains wrapped around the door creaked and swayed in the wind.
I readjusted my grip on the bag's handle and slowly walked towards the iron door. Every step I took felt exceptionally heavy because this very moment was my true last time here. If I leave like this, I will never return here again.
Come to think of it, I couldn't even say goodbye to the others. Everyone will be so surprised if I suddenly disappear. Won't Robert look for me? The wet nurse will be worried too. I'm not sure about Audrey, but Joely might just brush it off. When Ethan comes to the mansion again, he'll probably be very surprised. And Vincent... will he come looking for me again?
I still couldn't believe that he had looked for me. Perhaps he looked for me for not such a good reason. This too was understandable. Thinking of it as the end, even the difficult memories faded beautifully, creating a sense of regret.
'It's really the end now.'
Reaching the iron door, I stopped for a moment and looked around. All I could see were trees and lush overgrown grass, but I still wanted to capture this final moment in my eyes. Five years ago, I was in such a rush to leave that I didn't have the luxury, but given the time now, I engraved it deeply in my mind so I could remember this place for a long time.
After looking around thoroughly enough, I looked back at the iron door. And it was the moment I grabbed the iron door to bid farewell to this place. The branches covering the iron door shook in the wind. Through the gap, a white ribbon tied there caught my eye.
As if bewitched, I reached out and untied it. The fluttering ribbon in the wind tangled around my wrist. My gaze couldn't fall away from that ribbon.
It was a familiar object. The rounded edges were worn, and its original color had become a bit dull, but I could tell at a glance that it was once cherished. I traced the fabric down with my thumb, then paused when I saw the flower pattern embroidered on the edge.
'There's a pattern here.'
'It's pretty, right? It's a violet.'
It was a joke Violet made when she gifted me the ribbon. I found out later that she had a habit of embroidering flowers of her namesake on her belongings. So this was definitely the hair ribbon I had traded for bread a long time ago.
Why is this here...?
At that moment, a rustling sound came from behind me. I quickly turned around. Someone pushed through the bushes and revealed themselves.
"How..."
Why, why are you here right now?
The howling wind struck my entire body. The ribbon in my hand fluttered wildly, trying to slip away. I gripped it tightly and looked at the man before me.
At him. At Vincent.
"Because I thought you would come."
Unlike me, who was frozen in surprise, Vincent calmly answered the question I couldn't properly bring myself to ask. His composed face didn't feel like reality.
"You and I are the only ones who know about this place."
Golden hair fluttered wildly in the wind. The wind was cold. He was wearing a gown, but his attire was far too thin. However, as if he had no interest in such things, Vincent's gaze was fixed solely on me. He scanned me slowly, as if trying to engrave me into his mind.
"I finally found you."
Then he let out a soft laugh.
"Paula."
What clearly came from his mouth was my 'real' name.