# 126
126. The Maid Stands Before the Secret (5)
That place instantly became a scene of reunion.
It was Joelli who sorted out the chaotic situation. Since there were many watching eyes, she suggested they go inside the mansion first to talk. The servants' attention was focused on them after hearing Alicia's cries.
Vincent, having gathered his senses, accepted her proposal, and so the three entered the reception room and did not come out for a long while.
When Robert woke from his sleep and began to fuss, the nursemaid returned to his room, and Audrey dismissed the gathered servants and tidied up the commotion.
Lennika, who had been constantly watching the situation, approached me and asked what was going on. I couldn't give her any answer. I didn't even know how to explain……
Lennika said that if there was some misunderstanding, she would clear it up, but I had no choice but to send her away.
'If you need my help, please tell me.'
Perhaps she noticed there was something hidden. Lennika, looking at my stiff face with a worried expression, said those words before leaving the mansion.
It was only when the sun had completely set and the moon rose in the dark night that Alicia came out of the room. Seeing her face flushed red, she must have cried terribly.
I grabbed Alicia's arm and pulled her outside. It felt like eyes and ears were everywhere in the mansion, so even going to my room made me uneasy. So I headed to an empty spot behind the mansion. Alicia followed along obediently as I dragged her.
"Y-you, what is the meaning of this!"
"What?"
"That's not it. You, that's not it."
I lowered my voice as much as possible, but I couldn't hide my confusion to the point of stuttering.
But Alicia herself casually swept her hair back with her hand as if nothing had happened. The moment I saw that composed face, I suddenly realized. Alicia knew I had worked here.
"How……."
"Ah, that. You didn't know you have nightmares every night? It was so loud I couldn't even sleep."
Until recently, Alicia would often get angry. Saying it was noisy, telling me to be quiet. When we lived in Filton, having separate rooms meant that rarely happened, but when we left that place and lived elsewhere, I heard such things often. When I woke up from a sound sleep, Alicia would vent all sorts of irritation at me with sunken eyes. So we tried to sleep keeping as much distance from each other as possible.
But coming here, we stayed in the same room. The room wasn't large, so the beds weren't far apart, and I would often wake up after being hit by a pillow Alicia threw for being too noisy. But at some point, yes, at some point that irritation subsided.
"You used to call out the names of dead children, and when you met again, you called out the names of strange men? At first I wondered if you'd taken up with some man. I really couldn't believe it, but when you said you'd fallen out of favor with your superiors and fled, I even wondered if you'd gotten involved with a man and been kicked out because of it. Then I found out while working here. Who the owner of the names you called out was. Why you got so angry at me for saying this place wasn't the Stella family or whatever."
"……."
"You, the place you were sold to for gold coins and worked——was here, wasn't it? As a servant of this mansion."
It felt like someone was gripping my throat. My airway tightened and my reason became paralyzed. Perhaps because my mind went completely blank, I couldn't hide my bewilderment.
"When…… since when did you know."
"From when I got close to other maids to find out information about Lord Vincent? At first I was doubtful. I heard the rumor that the Count of this mansion was looking for a servant, but I didn't believe it. A woman at that."
I'd heard something similar from Johnny. The rumor that the master here had gone mad over a woman. Johnny's voice echoed in my ears, saying it seemed like he was bringing her in as a servant of the mansion by offering strange conditions to find that woman.
"They say he hires people from outside to use as servants in this old mansion to find that woman. I wondered what kind of amazing woman she could be, so I looked into it, and would you believe it——that woman he's searching for looks exactly like me."
"What……?"
"Truthfully, I didn't think much of it until then, but carefully listening to what you say whenever you have nightmares, an thought occurred to me, even if I couldn't believe it."
Alicia sniffled with her red nose and snapped her fingers.
"What if the woman Lord Vincent is looking for is actually you."
That sight somehow seemed playful.
"If you are that woman, then the work you did after being sold to this mansion would have been serving him. That man, there was a rumor that he was once blind. But now his eyes are fine, so everyone seems to think it was a false rumor, but I think it's quite plausible. That's the only way it makes sense that he wouldn't recognize you."
"……."
"And I know you well. If it were you, you would never have told him about your ugly appearance when he was blind. Instead, you would have made him misunderstand you as someone else. Right?"
I tightly gripped my trembling hands together. The words coming from Alicia's mouth were terrifyingly sharp and accurate. Whether we wanted it or not, we couldn't help but know each other as well as the years we'd spent together. Listening to Alicia's words, I felt like I was sinking into an endless quagmire.
"But saying that appearance is the same as mine……."
Her words trailed off. It was the first time Alicia's voice sounded this frightening.
"Thank you, Sister. For going this far for me."
Alicia beamed. 'Thank you for pretending to be me. You must have hidden it quite thoroughly.' Alicia's face, smiling as if she'd experienced something ecstatic, shone with vitality, but to my eyes it looked terrifying. Only then did I realize that Alicia's quiet life in the mansion all this time had been for this moment.
I hadn't known what rumors followed him. Since coming here, I hadn't associated with anyone, and the only people I frequently conversed with were the nursemaid, Audrey, and occasionally Johnny. Unlike me, Alicia had often mingled with the other servants.
If I had left this place after my original employment period ended, Alicia would have revealed who she was when the time was right. Just as I had lived under a fake identity, Alicia would have assumed mine.
The lies I had stacked layer upon layer to hide myself crumbled and tightened around my throat. The truly foolish one was me. I was the one living here without a single thought.
"……Does that man believe you?"
"More or less? There are parts we remember differently, but I told him I lied. If I deceived him about my appearance anyway, what else couldn't I lie about? When it comes up later, just play along appropriately."
"He'll figure out you're not me soon."
"He doesn't even know what you look like properly, so how could he figure it out?"
"There are people who've seen my face."
Why did Vincent try to find me based on his memories? Not knowing that it was a lie. But thinking about it, he had quickly become estranged from Violet, and had also grown distant from Ethan over the Lucas incident, so there would have been no one to tell him my true appearance.
Moreover, since he only stayed in the annex, there were hardly any servants who knew me. Of the two who did know, one suddenly disappeared, and he himself had expelled the other or sent them elsewhere. The remaining servants also kept quiet about the unsettling atmosphere, so he would have had even less way of knowing.
Even so, I couldn't let him continue mistaking Alicia for me. Because there were people who knew my face regardless. Lennika who had just visited knew me, and there was Ethan, and Violet. Furthermore, it wasn't just the outward appearance that was the problem. This was a lie that would eventually be exposed.
"Everything will be found out. This was an absurd thing from the start."
"Who knows? That woman who came during the day was just here to deliver flowers temporarily anyway. Ah, or maybe that man called Count Christopher?"
"Y-yeah."
"Hmm."
Alicia seemed to think for a moment, then clapped her hands together.
"How about saying you asked me for a favor? Saying you had no confidence to appear before the master, so you begged me to pretend to be you and I took your place."
"What?"
"You leave here right now. And what if we say you died in an accident on your way out? Yes, that would be good!"
Alicia made a joyful expression as if she had found an exit in a maze. I couldn't understand a single word Alicia was saying.
"A overturned carriage would be good, or running into bandits wouldn't be bad either. Or, well, having an accident while staying somewhere else. If it was a sudden accident and the body couldn't be found, that would be clean."
What was she talking about? Was she telling me to become a dead person? Was Alicia really saying this to me? I couldn't keep up with Alicia's words. Alicia kept clapping her hands, delighted as if it were truly a brilliant idea.
"……You're crazy."
"Don't worry. I'm not telling you to actually die. Go far away and hide and live. You wanted to leave here anyway, right? That would be perfect. You like living off others, so just live like a beggar like before. I'll serve him well by his side."
"Y-you even know what you're saying?"
"Why? Are you getting greedy now?"
"What?"
"You do it often. Acting worried in front of people while taking care of your own interests behind their backs. You did that to the other girls, and now you're trying to do it to me?"
"Alicia!"
"You've been pretending to feel sorry for the dead ones since before, haven't you? Do you know how funny it was whenever I saw you do that? You acted affectionate and sympathetic on the outside, but you knew exactly what they were going through. You knew but pretended not to. And then you acted sorry, pretended to feel guilty, shed all sorts of disgusting hypocrisy. Aren't you the crazy one?"
"……."
"You're the bitch who survived by devouring the other sisters."
The area under my eyes stung. My clasped hands trembled even more violently. How could you. How could you say that!
"How can you say such things! How could you!"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"You, your sisters died like that and you don't care at all?"
"Just because we were born from the same mother, does that mean I have to hurt and pity them equally? It was their fate, do I have to worry about that too? Then they should've been born as pretty as me."
'Then they would have lived longer. Though I wonder if they would have been as pretty as me even then.' Alicia laughed with her face contorted to its limits. That sight seemed distant.
"Stop changing the subject and do as I say. Got it?"
"……No."
"What? No?"
"Yeah, no. I can't. I can't do as you say."
I couldn't understand Alicia at all.
I had tried to understand. Even though we were in a relationship where we could only hate and disparage each other, she was my only remaining blood relative. The only sister left in place of the siblings who had departed without leaving a trace. I truly hoped that at least Alicia wouldn't meet such a miserable death. That was sincere. That was why I hoped Alicia would live even slightly properly, but why…… why did we always end up in this kind of relationship.
"Why are you always like this! Why do you always take other people's sacrifices for granted! Why can you only live like this!"
"Hah. What did I do?"
"It's all of our fault. Not just me, but because of us. We sacrificed those children. We survived by devouring them!"
"I never asked for that! If they hated it so much, they should have run away!"
"They couldn't!"
"No, they could have. They just didn't. You must be sick of playing the saint. If you feel so sorry for them, then go join them."
"What?"
"You wanted to die anyway but kept living on stubbornly. Take this chance and join them. I'll give you a proper funeral."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah. I'm serious."
Alicia glared at me fiercely, and I shot back just as sharply without backing down. It was a moment when the malice we held for each other was fully revealed. The knife-edge wind blew fiercely. A heavy silence struck my skin.