Part One.
There was a person who, while not as much as Lee Han, lived each day in anguish no less than he.
“...”
She couldn’t even let out a sigh. She simply gazed at the world blankly, her vision blurred.
Thud.
And so, unconsciously, she arrived at the hospital again.
‘Han.’
His face came to mind.
How was he doing by now? As always, at the hospital threshold, she came to her senses and turned her steps around. And today was no different.
Swoosh.
The world blurred again.
She stepped forward without a single thought, stopping in front of a crosswalk. She had been staring blankly ahead, then reflexively moved at the signs of people moving.
Thud.
Then, a tremendous roar came from the side.
Hooonk—
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Date Posted: 14.01.28 23:02
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The sound tore through her eardrums. Slowly turning her head to check, a massive truck filled her pupils. The not-so-large front bumper gradually grew bigger. ‘What...?’
For a moment, she couldn’t understand the situation. In a slowed world, Choi Jieun racked her brain for a long while before finally comprehending.
‘Ah, the truck is going to...’
In that instant, memories of her time with Lee Han surged up rapidly and vanished.
Thud.
At the same time, Choi Jieun’s body flew through the air like a broken kite.
Her arms and legs, fallen to the ground, were bent grotesquely.
“Kyaaaaaah!”
Along with the screams around her, the space was dyed in darkness. The world... stopped.
It was lunchtime, and Lee Han, having returned to his hospital room, leaned against the headboard and waited for his food to arrive.
Squeak.
The door opened just then, and a lady handed him the food. She set the tray right in front of Lee Han and placed rice, soup, and three side dishes on it.
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“Enjoy your meal.”
The lady left those words and exited the hospital room. Left alone, Lee Han slowly reached out and gripped his spoon.
Creak.
And he scooped up a spoonful of rice and put it in his mouth.
Clack.
He set down the spoon and picked up side dishes with his chopsticks. The pupils of Lee Han, who forced the food into his mouth bit by bit, were so resolute that it invoked the illusion of a battle against an enemy with his life on the line. Eat, he had to eat. Currently, Lee Han’s physical condition was a mess. For now, he had to replenish his energy while eating. Only then could he build muscle through rehabilitation therapy. He chewed the food in his mouth dozens, no, hundreds of times. He chewed as much as possible so as not to burden his intestines. At the same time, it was also a method to increase nutrient absorption. Lee Han, having fought that battle for about 20 minutes, set down his spoon.
“Hoo.”
Shortly after, the lady came and cleared away the food and tray. Lee Han spent an hour sitting propped against the wall.
Swoosh.
Deeming that he had digested enough, Lee Han got into his wheelchair. And instead of operating it by pressing the buttons, he rolled the wheels directly with his hands.
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Squeak, squeak.
Passing through the hallway and boarding the elevator, he pressed the button for the basement first floor. Shortly after, the doors opened, and Lee Han, still rolling the wheels with his hands, entered the rehabilitation center.
“You came again?”
“Yes.”
“It’s not good to overdo it.”
“I haven’t even started.”
Lee Han’s gaze was resolute and deep. That depth was like the deep sea, evoking the unknown of what might exist within. “Hoo, alright. Come this way.”
The therapist guided Lee Han. It was the place with the bars, same as the morning.
“Shall I help you?”
Lee Han answered, shaking his head.
“I’ll do it alone, so you may go.”
“No. I’ll stay.”
Lee Han looked at her briefly before turning his gaze away. And to wage battle once more, he slowly reached out and grabbed the bar.
A short while later.
Having finished his rehabilitation training, he came outside the building for a moment. And sitting on a bench, he watched the people passing by.
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Vrrrm.
Then, a vibration was felt from his chest.
Swoosh.
It was a call from a close friend. Lee Han hesitated for a moment before pressing the call button.
“Yeah.”
(Han?)
“Yeah.”
(Hey, did you hear the news?)
“What news?”
(It’s Jieun...)
The friend’s voice trembled subtly. This friend couldn’t be made to tremble by just any occurrence around him. He was so insensitive, and moreover, so cold toward matters unrelated to himself that one might think him inhuman.
“What happened?”
The anxious Lee Han asked roughly.
(She died.)
“...”
For a moment, he couldn’t understand what those words meant.
“I didn’t hear that well.”
(I said Jieun died...)
Silence flowed.
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(She was in a traffic accident in front of Youngse Hospital...)
Youngse Hospital. It was where Lee Han was currently hospitalized. With that single phrase, he could guess the situation. She must have come to see him, couldn’t bring herself to enter, and turned back. And crossing the street, she had been in an accident. That thought passed in an instant, and along with it, his whole body began to tremble.
“Ah...”
It was hard to believe. No, he couldn’t believe it.
“Tell me it’s a joke.”
(Han...)
“Tell me it’s a joke!”
(I’m sorry...)
What was he sorry for? Those words made him lose his reason even more. Yet strangely, tears did not come. Because he couldn’t yet accept her death. However, he realized that her death was indeed a fact.
“Keuk, keukeukeuk.”
Perhaps that was why, laughter came instead. “Keukuk, kehahahahaha!”
It was an immensely refreshing laugh. If only it weren’t for the wretched sorrow embedded within.
It was the day her funeral was held.
“...”
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Lee Han did not go. By now, he could accept her death. But precisely because of that, he could do nothing at all. Already, several days had passed without Lee Han moving.
“You must eat.”
The lady who brought him food tried to speak to him, but Lee Han remained silent and unresponsive.
With cloudy pupils, blankly, he spent a day as if it were a minute.
One minute passed, two minutes passed... ten minutes passed. No, thinking that much time had passed, when he came to his senses, ten days had somehow gone by.
‘How futile.’
There had been two reasons to live.
That he could run, and that she existed. Yet those two things had vanished in an instant. His legs were ruined, and she was dead.
‘There is nothing left.’
Even death came to mind now.
A devil whispered. ‘Die. There is no need to live. Since the world has abandoned me, let me abandon the world too.’
He reached an all-too-simple conclusion. He arrived at an extremely natural result.
Death crossed anyone’s mind.
Lee Han raised his body.
Swoosh.
If someone hadn’t entered just then, he might have thrown himself toward the window like this.
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It was her diary.
Lee Han read the diary his friend had brought with trembling hands.
“Ah...”
He had been a fool.
He had truly been a fool.
“Jieun, Jieun...!”
Tears soaked his chest.
Flowing down his cheeks, they shattered even his heart. The truth of her, who had put on a false act of suggesting they break up for his sake, was written in that diary. The sincerity of how she missed him so much but wished for Lee Han to stand again was heartbreakingly dissolved within. Stories of how she had come to the hospital front so often but returned without mustering courage, and of how she fell asleep sobbing alone at night, and of wandering the places they had been together while longing for old memories...
“Eu, euueok...”
He didn’t want to cry.
Knowing the foolishness of himself who had only realized her sincerity too late, he didn’t want to resolve it with tears now. If he poured out sorrow with these tears and spat it out, he feared the longing for her that he had kept deep in his heart would blur, so he didn’t want to shed them.
Clench.
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So he clenched his fist.
He squeezed out nonexistent strength, endeavoring not to cry. Though tears welled up, Lee Han ultimately did not let a single drop fall. He would cherish that wretched sorrow forever. Even if that unbearable longing remained as pain and tormented him, he would make even that a driving force for life.
[Please... run again. For me.]
Looking at that last single sentence, Lee Han vowed.
“For you...”
Harboring only her, the one person he had loved, in his heart.
“I will live.”
From that day, many things changed.
How much time had passed? A month? Perhaps two months, or maybe even more. But Lee Han did not pay attention to the flow of time. He had checked the time of that day but not the date. He simply looked objectively at the fact that his physical condition was improving bit by bit and devoted himself to rehabilitation therapy only. To run again. No, even before that, it was for a single person. For her, who had asked him to run for herself,
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Lee Han lived the present. He endured a hellish day thinking only of her last will.
Creak.
Lee Han, having gripped the bar and stood up, let go.
“Hoo.”
His legs, which had been nothing but skin and bones, had a bit of flesh and muscle attached now. With that strength, Lee Han could stand. But the endlessly tingling pain made him furrow his brow involuntarily. Since he had heard from the doctor that there was no problem, Lee Han bit his molars and took a step forward. It’s okay. It won’t break. I can endure.
Lee Han, who had taken a difficult step, did not stop there and moved forward once again.
Swoosh.
Having gone back and forth over that distance of about 5 meters roughly five times, Lee Han finally stopped in place. Strictly speaking, it was only 25 meters. But it had taken him 1 hour and 35 minutes to move that distance. Seated in his wheelchair, Lee Han took out a notebook and scribbled something with a pencil. Yesterday, it had taken 1 hour and 37 minutes. Today, 1 hour and 35 minutes.
Little by little, the time was decreasing. Let’s aim for 1 hour and 33 minutes tomorrow.
He mustn’t rush too much. But he couldn’t be too relaxed either. Appropriately, when all flows meshed together perfectly, the physical body exhibited its greatest strength.
Squeak, squeak.
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Pushing the wheelchair wheels with his hands and leaving the rehabilitation center, Lee Han headed to his hospital room. And climbing onto the bed, he leaned his back against it and massaged his legs. Having massaged them like that for about 20 minutes, Lee Han took out the dumbbells placed beneath the bed.
Creak.
When he gripped the handle of the dumbbell tightly, the muscles in his arm twitched. To build these muscles, he had exercised with dumbbells in every spare moment without missing a day.
“Hoo-eup, hoo.”
Then, the door opened and food came in.
“Training again?”
Lee Han had grown a bit closer to the lady now. Lee Han smiled faintly and nodded.
“Yeah, I have to move quickly. Here, eat lots.”
“Thank you.”
“No need for thanks, it’s just what I’m paid to do.”
As always, the lady set the tray and placed the food on it before leaving the hospital room. Lee Han stared at the prepared rice, soup, and side dishes for a moment before soon picking up his spoon.
‘I hope you’re doing well.’
Embracing her who came to mind unbidden through pain.
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