I Han, who had been spacing out blankly for a moment, slowly raised his upper body. His pupils were red like those of a murderer, and from them, various emotions including killing intent sprouted up like bamboo shoots after rain. Walk. And... kill. Swish.
After a long, long wandering, he finally reached his resolve.
He dragged his disobedient legs with difficulty. Moving as if crawling sideways, I Han climbed onto his wheelchair, left the hospital room behind, and crossed the corridor. Then he boarded the elevator and descended to the basement. I Han raised his head and looked at the sign pointing to Basement Level 1.
I Han, head lowered, slipped through the gap in the open door. Squeak, creeeak.
After moving forward for several minutes, adjusting the wheelchair with the button, his desired destination came into view. When I Han reached out his hand, the door opened automatically with a sound. Upon entering, the physical therapist at the entrance approached I Han.
"Welcome. Is this your first time here?"
I Han nodded at her question.
"Could you tell me your name?" "I Han."
The physical therapist went to the computer and entered the name I Han. Then, looking at the information that came up, her eyes sparkled.
"It's been quite a while since the rehabilitation order came down, hasn't it?"
I Han nodded instead of answering.
"Anyway, it's good you came. It's always hardest at first, but once you start, you'll get better little by little."
I Han hoped so too. No, he had to. He had come all the way here, gritting his teeth, in order to walk, and in order to run again.
"This way, please."
I Han adjusted his wheelchair and followed behind her. There were two bars by the wall, and at a glance, they clearly looked like devices for holding onto and standing up.
"First, you have to stand up. It will probably be difficult at first. But try holding these bars and practicing within a range that doesn't strain you too much."
"Let's do that."
"I'll be right here. If you want help, I'll help you; if not, I'll just watch."
I Han nodded. He hadn't said he wanted help, so it was a sign for her to stay as she was.
"Huu." I Han moved to where the bars were and stretched out his hand to grab them. The cold feeling of metal flowed through his palm. Soon he exerted strength and struggled to stand up from the wheelchair. Clench.
But his body wouldn't move as he wished.
Damn it...
He had been lying down all this time, and his cast had been removed ten days ago. The feeling when he first saw his emaciated legs, nothing but skin and bone, was beyond words. Even now, his legs were still nothing but skin and bone. Every time he saw those legs several times a day, I Han questioned whether he could really walk again with these legs. That soon turned into rage toward An Onho and led to mental deterioration and convulsions. When a nurse found I Han like that and administered a sedative, he would spend the day in a daze. But today was different. For the first time, he got into a wheelchair and pushed his body to the Rehabilitation Center through sheer will.
Move, please...!
I Han gritted his molars. He strained so hard that his whole body trembled faintly. He barely managed to raise his body, but there was no strength in his legs at all. He was enduring solely with the strength of his arms. However, because he had been lying down for over three months, his upper body had withered away to skin and bone as well. It was only natural, since he hadn't eaten properly either. He could no longer hold onto the bars. "Urgh."
I Han sat back down in the wheelchair with all his might.
"Haa, haa." He let out rough breaths. He hadn't accomplished a single thing properly, yet his breathing had grown ragged.
Suddenly, his current appearance seemed so absurd. His present state was so wretched that a self-deprecating smile formed on its own. He was too wretched to cry, too pitiful to be angry. He missed her too much; it all felt laughable. Jieun...
A faint longing flashed through I Han's pupils. But she had already left. I Han shook his head and brushed the thoughts aside.
"Huu."
Having regained his composure, I Han grabbed the bars with both hands again. And once more, he rose from the wheelchair. His body shook and trembled. If he relaxed the strength in his hands even a little, it felt like he would collapse back into his seat. That wasn't the problem, but what frightened him was the vague fear that his leg bones might shatter again in the process. Because of the wretchedness that made them seem like they would break apart with the slightest exertion, I Han sank back into the wheelchair without achieving anything once again. It was scary. It was terrifying. That he might fall, and that he might collapse again. However, more desperate than that was the fact that he couldn't walk. That he couldn't run. The fact that he could no longer feel the burning heat of his heart frightened him more and more. "Haa."
The long sigh calmed his heart.
Truly, it was miraculous. This trivial, meaningless action calmed his chaotic mind like a lie. It gave him the strength and courage to stand up once more. It gave him the hope that if he took one step, one step at a time, someday he would be able to endure even after relaxing his grip. Clench.
In order to walk.
In order to run.