Episode 4 — Sleep
“Sleep.”
His words could only be understood as referring to an act beyond a mere promise. With her ragged breathing, her dangerously racing heart, and her heavily swollen desire, she couldn’t conceive of any other meaning for that word.
“You promised….”
But before Jian could finish, he crashed his lips against hers once more.
“Don’t worry.”
He raised his hand and fastened the buttons of her blouse that had come undone without her noticing.
“Keep them fastened. So I can’t see….”
His pupils, which never looked downward for a single moment, boiled with heat.
“It’s dangerous on the bed, so turn around.”
His fingers threaded through hers. She allowed him to lead her obediently toward the bed.
When she lay down first, he lay beside her and embraced her from behind. Every time his hot breath touched her nape, it felt like her heart was sinking.
“I didn’t know my heart could beat like this.”
His low voice reverberated through her chest.
“Ignore me and sleep. I won’t do anything at all.”
“How can I sleep when you’re stuck to me like this?”
“Let me at least do this. Only when there’s no distance between us will I stop thinking about touching other places.”
As his head pressed flush against her back, a tingling sensation ran down her spine.
“You said you had the confidence to hold back?”
“Yeah. But it’s harder than I thought.”
His moist lips sucked at her nape over and over. The desire she’d forced down collided with soft flesh, letting out a strange sound.
Jian wondered how many times this man had spoken such tempting words to keep himself from crossing the line.
He had a striking appearance that would make anyone passing by turn back for a second look. She didn’t know what he did for a living, but he clearly possessed considerable wealth, and his skilled, relaxed demeanor made her want to be deceived despite herself.
It couldn’t be his first time doing something like this. Yet apart from her attraction to him, she didn’t want to be regarded as just a one-night stand, nor did she want to be recklessly swayed by a man she’d just met.
When her thoughts reached that point, a hollow laugh burst from her.
“Why are you laughing?”
“It’s funny… me.”
“What is?”
“I came here wanting to break free, and it’s laughable that I can’t bring myself to go all the way.”
The man buried his head in her nape and spoke in a low voice.
“It’s fine. Just do whatever you want.”
Jian quietly listened to his breathing, then turned her body to face him. The red wound on his lip reminded her of the taste of blood when they’d kissed and of his shirt that had been carelessly unbuttoned.
He must have needed a refuge today just as desperately as she did. So all they had to do was faithfully fulfill their roles as one night’s refuge for each other.
“Can you still… hold back?”
The man’s hazy gaze shook dangerously.
“Yeah.”
Jian wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed her tongue between his slightly parted lips. As she gently sucked and soothed the sensation tracing along his mucous membrane and meeting the tip of his tongue, sweet moans and lascivious textures flowed down her throat. She stirred their heated breaths and rubbed obscenely against deep places.
The man, who had been quietly accepting the intruder, could no longer endure the stimulation and gripped her hair. Between their twisted heads, red flesh began to intertwine obscenely.
“Haah….”
Between their recklessly tangled legs, sopping wet desires met with a lewd squelch. Every time their pressed-together bodies moved, moans flowed from mouths impossible to tell apart. Unfulfilled longing desperately sought an outlet.
The night was long.
* * *
When thin sunlight gently settled on her face, Jian opened her eyes with difficulty. The clock already pointed to nine.
*To think I could sleep in.*
Ever since high school, her wake-up time had always been five-thirty. After entering high school, unable to receive any decent private tutoring aside from internet lectures, she had maintained first place only by waking earlier and sleeping later than everyone else.
Even after going abroad to study, she had never slept more than four hours a day, and after returning to Korea, the habit persisted. But perhaps because she had spent the entire dawn tense, resisting temptation, she had overslept.
As she tossed to get up, the man’s languid voice clung to her from behind.
“Where are you going?”
“Checkout time is soon.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“I have to work.”
As Jian sat up, the arm that had been holding her slowly loosened. Perhaps because he hadn’t slept at all, his eyes were full of fatigue. Watching his eyelids slowly open and close, Jian spoke.
“You’re really pretty.”
He slightly furrowed his brow.
“What do you mean, pretty? You mean I look like a woman?”
It certainly wasn’t a delicate face. He had a pretty-boy feel reminiscent of a beautiful youth, yet there was a masculine beauty that made it difficult to call him simply gentle-looking.
“They say a young, pretty man is the best…. I just felt like ‘handsome’ wasn’t enough, so I said that. If your face didn’t look like this, I wouldn’t have followed you here.”
At Jian’s words, the man smiled faintly.
“Nice.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face at the boundary where her waist met her hips. Unresolved desire filled the room, the air taut with the sense that something could happen at any moment.
“Eat before you go.”
“No. If I stay with you any longer, I’ll cross the line.”
“Why can’t you cross it?”
She looked back at his shirt, which had come undone at the buttons.
“When I do things, I think about dozens of possibilities and risks. No matter how intense the impulse, it’s not enough to ignore all of them.”
“You don’t know my number, my name, my age—anything. What danger could I possibly pose to you?”
“…….”
“You said you hold back well. Nothing will happen just from eating.”
There had never been a time when her beginnings and endings weren’t clear. After breaking up with men she’d dated, she had never once called them, nor had she ever answered their calls. If she thought it wasn’t meant to be, it was over, and if she thought it was over, she never looked back. Yet his gaze was something she simply couldn’t shake off.
“Then don’t go out. Let’s eat in the room and part ways here.”
The man slowly raised himself up and smiled.
“You’re surprisingly easy to indulge when someone gets clingy.”
When she came out after showering, the room service she’d ordered had arrived. Jian sat in a chair and said calmly.
“You paid for the room yesterday, so I’ll buy the food.”
“It’s fine. I clung to you and forced you to stay.”
“I didn’t stay against my will. I’m not passive enough to be dragged around by anyone.”
An unreadable laugh slipped through the man’s lips.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because I like it insanely….”
The man leaned back in his chair and lifted a cup. His lips parted slightly, just as they had when he kissed her last night, and liquid flowed inside. His unusually prominent Adam’s apple moved up and down greatly.
Staring blankly at the sight, Jian felt her lower abdomen growing hot once again.
“Aren’t you eating?”
“I’m good.”
“You’re not eating?”
“Yeah. I don’t usually eat breakfast.”
“Then why did you order?”
“If I’d said I wasn’t eating, you would have just left.”
She couldn’t understand him at all. Impulsively kissing a woman he’d just met was one thing, but waiting on the street for over an hour in the cold, then coming to a hotel without crossing the line—on top of all that, now he was struggling desperately to hold onto her a little longer, like lovers in a passionate love.
As if reading her thoughts, he stared straight at Jian.
“You think I do this with just any woman?”
“…….”
“You think it wouldn’t have mattered if the woman who entered that alley yesterday was someone other than you.”
“Isn’t that right?”
“What about you? Would you have kissed him if it had been another man instead of me?”
“…….”
The man’s quiet gaze dug sharply into Jian’s heart.
“It was impulsive, that’s true. But impulses don’t happen with just anyone.”
“So what are you trying to say?”
“You’re sexy. To the point that I want to touch you like crazy even now…. I want to kiss you, hold you, sleep with you. But if it were only that, I wouldn’t have waited in that alley for over an hour.”
“…….”
“I like how you act aggressively to protect yourself. I like your tone and gaze that look down on people, and how you’re sometimes dangerously honest is insanely sexy. That’s why I waited for you.”
She had been criticized her whole life for not being docile. Why don’t you smooth things over, why do you sharpen your edges like that—her parents, her friends, and her colleagues had all condemned her. Yet to a man who said he liked that, she was dangerously shaken. She began to fear that this man she’d met only yesterday might come to mean something in her life.
“I hate submissive and dependent women. My mother is like that, and that’s why she’s suffered her whole life.”
“We agreed not to talk about personal things.”
“If I don’t say at least this much, you’ll think you’re just one of many women.”
Jian set down the spoon she was holding.
“I’m going.”
The man’s eyebrows arched greatly, but she deliberately ignored him. Developing feelings was worse than simply mixing bodies as one-night stand partners. Her few dating experiences had left her with nothing but the worst memories. Men who approached her thinking she was remarkable eventually all demanded she become ordinary. They couldn’t understand her pouring time into research like a madwoman, and some even demanded she quit her job.
As Jian stood up to pack her bag, the man grabbed her wrist.
“What the hell is the problem? Do you hate that you’re not just one of many women?”
“I don’t do relationships. I’ve tried a few times, but I’ve never once not regretted it.”
“I’m not asking that of you. I just told you how I feel.”
“If we’re not going to date and not going to sleep together, there’s no reason for us to share this space.”
“…….”
“Sorry. I’m really cowardly and selfish. So right now, I’m running away to protect myself.”
Jian escaped the hotel room with her jacket and bag in hand. Her heart was beating fast. She pressed the elevator button and waited anxiously for it to open. If she delayed even a little, it felt as though the desire tightening between her legs, the inexplicable pull, the sticky lingering attachment would snatch her by the nape.
Finally, the elevator doors opened. Jian stepped inside and hurriedly pressed the close button. But just before the doors shut, a hand with bulging veins abruptly shot in and held them.
She couldn’t say a word and simply looked at the man before her.
“My name is Kim Jaehui.”
As if suppressing emotions on the verge of exploding, his voice was low.
“Sorry for breaking the promise not to tell.”
“…….”
“Go now.”
As his body, which had leaned in as if to invade, retreated, the elevator doors closed. His seething gaze never left her until the very moment the doors shut.