(1) How is there even a woman like that?
2018.08.02.
Outside the enormous window that occupied an entire wall, an exotic landscape stretched out.
Lush, deep-green trees native to tropical regions. The emerald sea visible in the distance and the dazzling sun.
But more radiant than the beautiful nature spread before my eyes was the pink light surrounding me.
So deep and brilliant it could only be described as pink—a pure pink light for which no other word existed.
And so I knew this was a dream.
Because there was no way a pink light surrounding me could exist in my life.
But.
Even so.
I held onto hope.
That it wasn't a dream. That it was reality. That a pink light existed for me too.
When I lowered my head, I saw a large hand that had been holding mine tightly from some time ago.
Our hands—his and mine—firmly interlaced, as if to never let go no matter what happened.
Our hands too were enveloped in the pink light.
As I quietly gazed down at that lovely pink I was seeing for the first time in my life, I spotted a small black dot shyly nestled beneath his thumb.
Even that dot was more precious to me than anything else in the world.
+++
The world is filled with colors.
Dense buildings, running cars, and people moving without rest.
In my left eye, unshielded by a lens, people's colors were reflected plainly.
The colors they emitted revealed their emotions completely.
The diverse emotions radiating from people brilliantly filled the streets.
Doyeon walked quickly with her head bowed deeply.
Today the workload had been unusually heavy. It had been a mistake to come out without her contact lens because her eyes were tired.
The festival of colors she encountered after a long time made her stomach churn.
After passing through the crowded area and turning into an alley lined with luxury villas, the nausea subsided.
It wasn't that she particularly hated people, but when she wasn't wearing her lens, being mixed among them was torturous.
'Let's hurry home. If I go in and hug Rubin tight, I'll feel better.'
The villa where Doyeon lived drew near.
In front of the villa, a large blue lump was visible.
At first, she thought someone had illegally dumped trash.
Only when she drew closer did she realize the blue lump was a person.
It had been a long time since she had seen such deep blue, so Doyeon stopped and quietly looked down at the blue lump.
The blue human was leaning against the streetlamp beside the villa. No, should she say collapsed?
With his disheveled hair, unshaven beard, and dirty clothes, he looked like a homeless man.
'He looks quite young.'
Doyeon crouched down in front of the man.
Thinking herself a fool for being unable to let go of her lingering attachment, she reached her hand toward the man.
She had dreamed a long time ago.
A dream of holding hands tightly with a man who had a dot beneath his thumb.
The dream had been so vivid that even years later, it hadn't faded.
She knew it was just a dream, and perhaps it was nothing more than what people called a 'dog dream.'
But she couldn't let go of her hope.
She couldn't abandon the foolish hope that someday she too would be surrounded by pink light with a man who had a dot beneath his thumb.
She took the man's left hand and checked beneath his thumb. It was clean.
'This man isn't the one either.'
Of course he wasn't.
Because love couldn't possibly sprout with a homeless man collapsed on the street.
She wasn't particularly disappointed.
The moment she let go of the man's hand, quietly stood up, and took one step toward the villa—
"What the hell? Someone's collapsed here and you're just going to leave without helping?"
A deep, low voice cut through the darkness.
It was a good voice.
Doyeon stopped and turned around.
The man she had thought was asleep opened his eyes and was staring at Doyeon.
Even in the darkness, the man's black pupils were clearly visible.
The oily yet sharp eyes hidden beneath his long hair looked incredibly arrogant yet sad.
"What a cold world."
The man added.
Doyeon quietly looked down at the man and asked.
"Would you like me to help?"
"I don't need help. I'm hungry. Starving."
"Are you asking for food?"
"Yeah."
Doyeon turned around.
"That's called receiving help. Follow me. I'll at least feed you."
+++
Doyeon lived on the top floor of a luxury villa.
The duplex house boasted a spacious living room and a magnificent view visible through the large windows.
But the best thing among them all was—
"Woof woof!"
The sleek and magnificent Doberman firmly guarding the front door.
"Rubin."
Doyeon smiled and hugged Rubin.
Rubin wagged his tail and nestled into Doyeon, but didn't withdraw his sharp gaze from the unfamiliar man.
The man was frozen in front of the front door.
"What are you doing? Aren't you coming in?"
Doyeon turned around.
The man's face had gone pale.
"Are you scared of dogs?"
"That's not on the level of a dog. It's like a black panther."
"He won't bite. As long as you don't do anything bad to me."
"I thought you brought a strange man in without a care, but you had such a bodyguard."
"That too. I have a hobby of picking up abandoned animals, you see. Like right now."
"By that, do you mean I'm an animal?"
"At the moment, you don't look very human. Don't worry and come in. I'll feed you and dress you well, then put you up for adoption to a good person."
"...I don't need to be put up for adoption."
"Oh, really? You seem like you can't even feed yourself, so you'd be better off being adopted instead of being stubborn. That way you won't collapse in front of someone's house and create a nuisance."
"You must hear a lot that you speak very harshly."
"I guess you're not hungry enough to die yet. You still have the energy to evaluate me."
Doyeon let go of Rubin, whom she had been holding, stood up, and faced the man.
Doyeon stared at the man's face and spoke.
"If you're less hungry, would you leave?"
The man furrowed his brow.
Though he was making an angry expression, Doyeon wasn't the least bit scared of him.
The man was still a vivid blue.
A person who was truly angry wasn't this color.
This man was simply trying with all his might to suppress other emotions.
Because he didn't want to acknowledge his blue. Because he wanted to end his despair now.
That was it.
Doyeon's eyes could see the colors of emotions.
To be precise, Doyeon's left eye could see the colors of emotions.
It had been that way since the accident 25 years ago.
Blue was the color of despair. The color of a person whose hope had vanished.
The vivid blue surrounding the man's entire body—that pure blue with no gap for any other color to seep in—made it impossible to leave him alone.
No matter how much humans failed, they harbored a small hope in their hearts.
That was why even those who had despaired carried a light sky blue. Like Doyeon.
But the blue surrounding the man wasn't light in the slightest.
There was no space anywhere for white to mix in.
As Doyeon stared intently, the man's expression softened.
"I."
The man let out a deep sigh.
"I'm hungry. Starving."
"Okay, then. Take off your shoes and come in."
"Yeah."
The man obediently took off his shoes and came inside.
Rubin growled lowly at the unfamiliar visitor.
The man flinched and pressed himself against the wall.
"He really doesn't bite?"
"As long as you don't bother me."
"I think he's bothering you plenty right now."
"I'm glad you're self-aware. Rubin, don't bite. I picked him up."
When Doyeon patted Rubin's head and spoke, Rubin stopped growling.
But his vigilant gaze remained fixed on the man.
The man followed Doyeon to the kitchen, flinching along the way.
"Sit."
Doyeon said, pointing to a dining chair.
"Yeah."
The man obediently sat down.
"You listen well. Good boy."
"Don't treat me like a dog."
"My, you've got quite the pride for someone who came begging for food."
"You really speak harshly."
"But your behavior is quite good, isn't it?"
"Yeah, well. The behavior."
Doyeon gave a faint smile.
"You're honest. Wait a moment. I'll change and then cook for you."
"Yeah."
As she left the kitchen leaving the man behind, he urgently called out to Doyeon.
"Hey!"
"Hmm?"
"You, you're not taking him with you?"
The man asked, pointing at Rubin, who was sitting upright beside him and glaring.
At the man's terrified face, Doyeon felt a small laugh escape.
So even someone so steeped in despair could still feel fear.
"Yeah, he needs to keep watch. I don't know you well, so who knows what you might do."
"Ah, that's a very sound point."
Doyeon left the man's answer behind and went into her room.
The claim that she would change clothes was an excuse.
Doyeon took out a lens case from her bag.
Inside the lens case was a pitch-black lens.
The pitch-black lens had no hole drilled through it to see the outside.
The lens served only to cover Doyeon's left pupil.
Doyeon did not want to see the world with the left pupil that saw the colors of emotions.
She was tired of getting hurt by witnessing the honest emotions of those she faced.
When she put the lens with the black circle in her left eye, the world turned colorless.
In exchange for her left pupil gaining the ability to see the colors of emotions, her right pupil had lost its color.
The world reflected in her right pupil was composed of black, gray, and white.
The colorless world was far better than seeing the dazzling colors of emotions.
+++
"How many days has it been since you ate?"
Doyeon asked.
" dunno. Four, five days? Or a week? I don't know."
"Really? Then you should eat porridge. I heard it's not good for rice to suddenly enter an empty stomach."
Doyeon tied on an apron and took out frozen rice from the freezer.
One piece of life wisdom learned from living alone.
If you portion out rice, freeze it, and microwave it, it tastes almost as good as freshly cooked rice.
While the rice was spinning in the microwave, she took out some minced beef she had bought yesterday.
She finely chopped onions and carrots, put them in a pot, added the minced beef, and stir-fried them together, then added the microwaved rice and a cup of water and boiled it.
The kitchen filled with a savory smell.
When the porridge was done, Doyeon moved the pot itself to the dining table.
She took out bowls, placed spoons, and brought a ladle.
While Doyeon did all of this, the man sat quietly watching her.
Doyeon ladled porridge into a bowl, placed it before the man, and also served herself.
Despite saying he was hungry, the man didn't pick up his spoon.
"What are you doing? You said you were hungry."
"I should eat after you do. You're the owner of the house."
The man's unexpectedly well-mannered behavior secretly surprised her.
"Okay, then."
When Doyeon picked up her spoon and took the first bite, the man picked up his spoon too.
"I will eat well."
Even in this situation, the man gave a meal greeting before moving his spoon.
As if truly starving, the man hastily blew on the hot porridge and ate earnestly.
He was going to burn his tongue like that.
She was worried but left him be.
He wasn't a child; he could handle it.
The man, having emptied a bowl of porridge in an instant, spoke.
"I burned my tongue."
"...I thought you might."
"It stings."
"You should eat more slowly."
"It was delicious. And I was hungry too. Can I have another bowl?"
"You can eat all of it. Slowly."
"Yeah."
The man ladled more porridge, and this time he moved his spoon more leisurely than before.
Doyeon ate her porridge while observing the man's behavior.
Judging by his actions, he didn't seem like an ordinary homeless man.
The way he observed meal etiquette, and the way he ate cleanly without spilling.
He seemed to have received a solid upbringing.
She became interested in this man who had been collapsed on the street in the guise of a homeless man, his entire body dyed with deep blue emotion.
"Hey, what's your name?"
At Doyeon's question, the man raised his head.
"If you don't have one, should I give you one?"
"I have one. A name."
"What is it?"
"Juwon. Hyeon Juwon. And you?"
"Gang Doyeon. How old are you?"
"Twenty-eight. And you?"
"Thirty."
Juwon narrowed his brow.
"Thirty? You look much younger than me."
"I was born with a baby face. Jealous?"
"...Why would I be jealous of that?"
"Because people are jealous of youth."
"In reality, I'm younger than you, so what."
"Right, youngster. Then shall I call you noona instead of 'you'? If not, nuni or master is fine too."
In that instant, Juwon's pupils shook.
Even though her left eye was covered, the sorrow contained in Juwon's pupils was conveyed wholly, making the area near her left chest throb with pain.
Which of the words she had just spoken had triggered the man's sorrow?
Doyeon was bewildered.
"...Noona."
Juwon, head bowed, muttered in a small voice and gave a bitter smile.
Noona.
Yes, it seemed that title had touched Juwon's sorrow.
"Okay, noona. I'll call you noona."
+++
As the hunger that had felt fatal subsided, Juwon could look around the house.
A duplex in a luxury villa. In the spacious living room was a staircase leading to the second floor, and a chandelier hung from the high ceiling.
In the center of the living room was a brown leather sofa with scratch marks here and there. Probably the work of the dog.
One wall of the living room had a display cabinet, and inside were variously shaped ornaments made of silver.
They looked expensive enough to fetch quite a bit of money if sold.
"Nice house. You must be quite capable."
"No. My dad's rich."
"Ahh."
"Look around. I'll be right back; I'm going out for a moment."
He had thought she would kick him out after the meal, but Doyeon went out leaving only Juwon (well, to be exact, Rubin too) behind.
Left alone in a stranger's house, Juwon bowed his head and let out a deep sigh.
He was a sinful body.
To think he could still wolf down food even in this situation.
Pathetic.
Rubin was lying in front of Juwon, looking up at him.
It might have been his imagination, but the black pupils directed at Juwon seemed to have lost the wariness from before.
"Your owner is really peculiar. Bringing a strange man into her house. Is she fearless, or does she trust you that much?"
Rubin yawned as if uninterested.
"And why am I here doing this."
Juwon let out another deep sigh.
Not long after, Doyeon returned.
Doyeon was holding a convenience store bag.
"I bought a razor, underwear, and a toothbrush. Go in and wash up."
"Wash up?"
"I told you. I'll feed you and dress you well, then put you up for adoption to a good person."
"I don't need that."
As Juwon pushed aside the convenience store bag held out to him and spoke—
"Grrrr."
Rubin wrinkled his snout and growled.
"If I don't follow noona's orders, is that dog going to bite me?"
"Maybe."
"I'm terrified to death."
He meant it.
If he had known this, he wouldn't have asked this woman for food.
No, if it hadn't been this woman, no one would have given food to Juwon with his beggarly appearance.
If washing up was the price of the meal, he had no choice but to wash up.
Juwon reluctantly picked up the convenience store bag and stood.
"Wash up thoroughly. Every nook and cranny. Shave your beard clean too. You need to look good to meet a good owner."
Doyeon said to Juwon's back as he entered the bathroom.
Juwon closed the bathroom door without answering.
Entering the spacious bathroom with a bathtub, Juwon locked the door and muttered.
"How is there even a woman like that?"
#dark