The room was utterly still, making the agony in my back feel all the more unbearable.
The sunlight was lovely, shining through the window onto my face.
I was dazed with pain. In my muddled haze, it seemed as though I were lying on the daybed in my mother’s room, while Mother kept watch over me and chatted idly with Auntie Zhao…
Such simple, happy days were already so distant they seemed like a dream.
A pang shot through my back, and two streams of tears swiftly slipped into my hair at the temples.
“Mother—” I closed my eyes and called out indistinctly.
A vague thought gradually took shape in my mind. I could not go on living like this, as a slave and a maidservant.
Several knocks sounded outside the door. I answered, but my voice was too soft. The person outside knocked a few more times, then simply pushed the door open and came in.
A delicate-looking maidservant entered, closed the door behind her, and sat down beside my bed. In a low voice, she said, “Second Young Master told me to bring you medicine. This salve is excellent for dissolving clotted blood and dispersing bruises, much better than what outside doctors prescribe. Have someone apply it for you morning and night, and in a few days the wounds will scab over.”
In a hoarse voice, I said, “Thank you.”
She said, “If you want to thank someone, you should thank our Second Young Master. This time, it was all thanks to him pleading for you. Otherwise, after thirty lashes, even if you didn’t die, you’d be crippled. Our Second Young Master is famous for having a warm heart—he helps everyone, saves everyone. Who doesn’t know who this whipping was really meant for? You look like a clever one, so I’ll say a few words to you: from now on, you’d best learn to see clearly who is a real tiger, and who is merely a paper tiger.”
She got up and left, and I was alone once more.
Of course I knew that Madam Cao, who appeared amiable and detached, was the true tiger of the Cao residence. But I had no desire to curry favor with her.
As for Concubine You and Cao Yingshan, those two paper tigers who were fierce in appearance but weak within, they were even less reliable.
I had been beaten until my skin split and my flesh tore, and was carried back to the courtyard.
Cao Yingshan stood far away and said, “What a fine play of framing someone and killing the chicken to scare the monkeys. Just look how badly she’s been beaten. Find her a doctor and get some medicine prescribed.” After that, she paid me no more attention.
By the time I could move freely again, half a month had already passed.
The trident maples in the courtyard were red as fire, and the red leaves covering the ground looked as if a crimson carpet had been laid down.
For several days in a row, Second Young Master had come to this grove of maple trees to paint.
So as not to disturb his refined pleasure, very few people came here.
I followed a secluded path and turned into the maple grove. After looking around to make sure there was no one else nearby, I finally walked over.
Though my steps were very light, the fallen leaves beneath my feet had long since become crisp and dry; the moment I stepped on them, they made a loud crunch.
“Who’s there? What are you doing? If you’ve no business here, go stand aside! Can’t you see Young Master is painting?”
The pageboy standing behind Second Young Master called out from afar.
I was still some distance from them. If I answered now, and my voice was too soft, they would not hear me; if it was too loud, I feared others might hear. For a moment, I could neither advance nor retreat.
While I was hesitating, Second Young Master poked his head out from behind the easel, gave a soft exclamation of surprise, and said in a clear voice, “Red leaves and a green skirt—exquisite beyond compare! May I trouble the young lady not to move for a moment? I will paint you into the picture.”
I could only stand there quietly. My feet had gone numb by the time I finally saw him set down his brush and say, “Come have a look as well.”
He had been staring at the painting paper the whole time. It was only when I reached his side that he turned his head. When he saw clearly that it was me, his eyes immediately lit up, and he smiled. “It’s you? Are your injuries healed? I’m ashamed! I made you stand so long. Was it too much for you?”
I smiled. “I’m only a servant who does labor. How could I be so delicate? Thank you for your concern, Second Young Master. This servant’s injuries have long since healed.”
He was slightly startled, then laughed with open good humor. Perhaps he had remembered what he himself had said that rainy night, and that I had actually remembered it so clearly. Pleased, he asked, “What brings you here?”
I twisted my handkerchief between both hands and glanced at the pageboy. Second Young Master pondered for a moment, then lightly raised his hand, and the pageboy silently went to keep watch in the distance.
“Now you can speak, can’t you?”
I took out the sachet I had spent several days making and held it up in both hands. “I noticed that whenever Second Young Master goes out, you always carry a wine flask. You must drink often. In that case, there must be times when you are drunk and have a headache. If you smell this refreshing sachet, it should ease it greatly.”
He took it from my hands. His slightly cool fingers brushed over my palm, and then he held it beneath his nose and smelled it. With approval, he said, “Mm, the scent is clean and refreshing. I can only make out the fragrance of mint. What else is in it?”
I smiled faintly. “Mint is the main ingredient, with crape myrtle, gardenia, and plectranthus as supplements. These flowers and herbs are all planted in the courtyard. In winter, if some wintersweet is added, the effect will be even better.”
“It is rare for you to have such a clever, thoughtful mind. The embroidery on this sachet is elegant as well. I like it very much. Then I won’t stand on ceremony. Thank you.”
I bent my knees and knelt. Just as I was about to kowtow, he stopped me. “What are you doing? If you have something to say, stand up and say it.”
I remained kneeling and said, “I only hate that aside from making this little trinket for Second Young Master, I have nothing else to offer. You saved my life. Though this servant will never forget such kindness even when my teeth fall out, I have no way to repay it.”
“So that’s what this is about. Get up quickly. I merely moved my lips in front of Mother. If we’re talking about effort, it was far less than what you spent making this sachet.”
Seeing that I still would not rise, he shook his head, turned, and went to take up the easel, as if he would leave if I did not get up.
I hurriedly stood and blocked his way. “Before this servant entered the Cao family, I had a younger brother in the city. He was injured. We agreed that once his injuries improved, he would come see me, but he still hasn’t appeared. I truly am worried, yet I cannot leave. I would like to ask Second Young Master to help me look for him.”
He said, “I thought it was something serious. Just tell me your brother’s name and how old he is. As long as he is in Yangzhou, it will take at most half a month, or at least a few days, to help you find him.”
A wave of delighted surprise went through me, as if I would be able to see Xing’er at any moment. My heart surged so violently that my nose stung. “Thank you. He… is called Xing’er. He is eleven years old, thin and small. His face… his face…” Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the painting paper, and pointed at it excitedly. “May I draw him?”
“Of course. That would be best.”
I sat down and quickly drew a portrait of Xing’er’s face.
Second Young Master held it in his hand. “The technique is simple yet lifelike, and you drew it quickly as well. I never imagined you painted so well.”
“Second Young Master overpraises me. Before you, it is nothing but a petty trick.”
“You are far too modest. Very well, don’t worry. As soon as there is news, I will inform you.” Only when I saw him carefully put away Xing’er’s portrait did I let out a breath of relief.
“Oh, right. What is your name? We have met several times, yet I still do not know what you are called,” he asked.
I thought for a moment, then said, “My original name was Lin Juanyun. Third Miss thought it unpleasant to hear and changed my name to Duo’er.”
He sighed. “That is certainly Third Sister’s style. Juanyun—unmoved by favor or disgrace, watching the flowers before the courtyard bloom and wither; indifferent to staying or leaving, gazing at the clouds in the sky as they unfurl and drift. What does your family do? An ordinary household could not come up with such a fine name.”
I thought of the origin of my name. When my father resolved to leave home and cultivate the Dao, he left behind one boy’s name and one girl’s name. At that time, his heart was detached and transcendent, and he regarded the mortal world as nothing. Thus, the girl’s name was Juanyun—rolling clouds.
It was never a name into which love had been poured.
Now my whole family had fled disaster, wandering homeless and adrift… How could such things be explained clearly?
I said lightly, “We were merely an ordinary family of commoners from the countryside.”
As we were saying farewell, I remembered something else and hurriedly asked him, “May I ask how Second Young Master persuaded Madam to spare me the remaining twenty lashes?”
He said, “In the past two years, the political situation at court has been turbulent. That is why, apart from my father, our whole family left the capital and came to Yangzhou to live. Outwardly, we say that because my father intends to resign from office and retire into idleness, he had the family move here ahead of time. In truth, it was still to avoid disaster, so we must act all the more discreetly. I told Mother that there was a household in the capital where, during an investigation, many corpses of servants were dug up in the courtyard, and because of that, their crimes were judged even more severely. A little girl like you, if beaten thirty lashes by those servants, would surely lose her life. Once I said that, how could my mother not let you go?”
Five days passed, and still there was no news from Second Young Master. I could not help growing anxious.
Just as my thoughts were running wild, Second Young Master’s personal pageboy, Fu Ming, called out to me when no one was around. He said, “We still haven’t found him, but reliable people have already been entrusted with the search. Second Young Master was afraid you would worry, so he told me to come and inform you.”
Xing’er had not been found, and I was very disappointed. But Second Young Master had specially sent someone over simply because he feared I might be anxious. That thoughtfulness was especially moving.
A few more days passed. I was carrying a basket of newly issued apricots from the storeroom, walking along out of breath.
Suddenly, several men emerged from behind the artificial hill. I hurriedly tried to avoid them, but then I heard Second Young Master’s voice. “I knew you went to collect things. I’ve been waiting for you for quite a while.”
I set down the basket of apricots and looked up. I saw Second Young Master standing shoulder to shoulder with a tall, powerfully built young man, each with two attendants behind them.
Compared with the gentle and elegant Second Young Master, this unfamiliar man seemed to be his complete opposite. His figure was straight and upright, his resolute face slightly dark and rough. Even without comparing him to Second Young Master, anyone in Yangzhou City chosen at random would have fairer, softer skin than he did. He seemed to have been battered by wind and sand for many years, not like a local.
His gaze was cold and stern. He glanced at me indifferently, then turned to Second Young Master with a smile. “No wonder you’ve been so concerned, practically wishing I would sign a military pledge for you. So it was for the sake of a beautiful maid.”
My face darkened. Second Young Master also hurriedly said, “Brother Fan, you must not speak carelessly. Miss Lin is a maid in my third sister’s room. She and I have merely met a few times and exchanged a few words. Her younger brother is missing, so she entrusted me with finding him. Since I agreed, I must keep my promise and do my utmost. Only then will I not betray the saying that a gentleman’s word cannot be overtaken even by a team of four horses.”
“Mm, I understand. Consider it my impertinence.” His voice was steady and crisp.
After he finished speaking, he said to me, “Last month, in the city’s inns, restaurants, shops along the street, and among wandering beggars, there were all people who said they had seen your younger brother. Whenever he met someone, he would ask whether they had seen a girl of twelve or thirteen, with big eyes and a small mouth, who was especially pretty?”