My heart suddenly skipped a beat. Was it Xing’er? Or someone sent by Father and Mother to fetch me?
Second Young Master had said earlier that if Xing’er was truly in Gaoyou County, the trip would only take a few days. Perhaps the search had not gone smoothly, for there had been no news all this time.
On the other hand, Young Master Fan had gone to Hangzhou on official business and had taken the opportunity to help me search for my family’s whereabouts. He had set out early and had been gone for over a month now. It was not impossible that he was returning.
My mind raced, and I felt such unbearable excitement that my back involuntarily straightened. Soon, I thought, I would be able to cast off my servile status and return to my normal life!
"Miss." Suppressing my excitement, I turned to Cao Yingshan with a bright smile.
I looked straight at her, as though I were leaving right this moment, and that once I left, the two of us would never meet again. For a moment, I actually felt some reluctance to part.
Perhaps my gaze was too bold and direct, different from my usual meek and downcast manner, which displeased Cao Yingshan.
She glanced at me sideways and said idly, "Look at you, acting so smug. Anyone would think royalty had arrived. Need I mention that when your family ran into rebel soldiers, how many died? How much of your belongings could possibly remain? Even if you didn’t lose a single coin, you’re still just a minor household. What is there to be so pleased about?"
I lowered my eyes and smiled. "What you say is true. The Cao residence is a grand estate, a magnificence I could never have imagined before. We are human, not grass or trees—how can we be without feeling? This servant is simply happy to be able to see my family."
Only then did Cao Yingshan wave her hand. "Alright, alright. Go."
I hurried toward the side gate, calculating in my heart:
In the future, if my family came to redeem me, Cao Yingshan likely wouldn’t let me go. When that time came, I would beg Second Young Master to plead on my behalf. If that still didn’t work, I would beg Young Master Fan. Cao Yingshan always listened to Young Master Fan.
The thought finished turning, and I realized with a start that I had long harbored such a plan in my heart: Find Young Master Fan! Ask him to step in!
But this was no trivial matter. How could I be certain he would help me? Thinking of this, I suddenly felt disheartened.
Yet again, his cold face surfaced in my mind, and the warmth that had leaked through his eyes when he looked at me. Intuitively, I felt he would.
Thinking, running, I looked up and discovered I had already reached the side gate.
Beneath the cover of accumulated snow, a small black-lacquered door stood half-open.
A page boy came forward to greet me, smiling. "Your brother has arrived. He just reached Yangzhou City and rushed over to see you. Second Young Master is tied up with some matters, or else he would have come to take a look as well."
I gasped lightly and first took out my handkerchief. Unfolding it revealed the monthly wages I had saved: five taels, ten strings, and five hundred copper coins.
I was about to take out a dozen or so copper coins for the page boy, but when he saw it, he retreated repeatedly. "Please put that away quickly, Miss. Second Young Master has already given me a reward. Your brother has been standing outside for quite a while now. Hurry and go see him."
Since he refused, I didn’t press the matter. Alas! My purse was too shallow for me to be generous.
Moreover, Xing’er had been found first. Later, to find the rest of my family, there would be many times when I would need silver!
Reaching out to push the side gate open, I saw Xing’er dressed in a dark green fitted outfit, anxiously peering into the Cao residence. When he saw me emerge, his eyes lit up, and he spread his arms and rushed toward me. "Young Miss!"
He knocked me off balance, then immediately hugged me tightly. I couldn’t see his face, but I knew he was crying, whimpering and sobbing as he called out to me, "Young Miss, Young Miss..."
I couldn’t help shedding tears either, but hearing him weep and snivel, I also couldn’t help wanting to laugh. I had thought he would have grown some, but I hadn’t expected him to still be such a crybaby.
I raised my arm to wipe my eyes, pushed him away, and pulled him to stand aside with me.
Xing’er had grown taller and was now as tall as I was. The weariness of travel lingered at his brows and the corners of his eyes, yet it somehow added a bit of heroic steadiness to his demeanor.
His eyes red, he looked me up and down, then down and up again. After a long while, he said, "Young Miss, how did you become someone else’s servant?" Then, lowering his head, he added, "How can you endure it? You were so precious at home. How can you serve others?"
"I’m doing perfectly fine, aren’t I? I’m asking you—before I entered the Cao household, I found a wandering doctor to treat your injuries. He said once you were healed, you would come to the Cao residence to see me. What happened afterward? How did you end up in Gaoyou?"
Xing’er didn’t answer me. His gaze fell upon my hands, frostbitten and chapped. He reached out to cup my hands in his to warm them, but his hands were far colder than mine. He realized this too, blew on them, and then let go.
I touched his clothes. "Why are you dressed so thinly? In a moment, I’ll give you silver so you can buy a thick cotton-padded coat."
He smiled and shook his head. "I’m not cold."
After a pause, he continued, "The roast chicken we ate on Young Miss’s birthday was stolen by me. I thought no one would know, but I was still found out in the end... Later, I gave you the banknote my mother left me, and then I knew nothing more. Occasionally I would come to for a moment, but I never saw you again. I only saw a man’s face. He fed me medicine and spoke to me, but I didn’t understand what he was saying. Then, later, I heard a great clamor in the streets that lasted a very long time, and then there was silence again. When I woke up, I found myself lying in a dilapidated temple. It was three traveling performers from the jianghu who saved me. I searched all over Yangzhou City for a long time but couldn’t find Young Miss anywhere, so I had no choice but to go out and make a living with them."
I listened carefully and thought to myself, "It seems that wandering doctor kept his word; it’s just that some unexpected event occurred during that time, which is why he and Xing’er were separated."
I said, "Thanks to those three kind-hearted people, we are able to reunite. We must go and thank them properly another day." Then, I told him how I had come to serve in the Cao household.
Speaking, I took out that packet of silver and handed it to Xing’er. "Xing’er, go to Hangzhou and look for my family. I know this silver isn’t enough, but spend it frugally. Don’t rush on the road either. If you run out of silver, write me a letter, and I’ll send you more. If you truly can’t wait, don’t you dare steal again—find work as a day laborer at inns or taverns to earn your way forward. It will be hard, but once we’re home, all that hardship will have been worth it!"
Xing’er merely lowered his head and gently stroked my hand, nodding once for every sentence I spoke.
We spoke a while longer, then Xing’er left. I watched his figure disappear before returning.
When I re-entered the Cao residence, my mood was even heavier than before.
Fortunately, Cao Yingshan had gone to see her mother, so I could have a moment of solitude.
But sitting in my room, my heart still knew no peace. I paced back and forth until I saw a sheet of rice paper spread on the table. I walked over and began writing.
I was engrossed in writing when a little maidservant knocked and entered, saying, "Someone from Second Young Master’s courtyard said they brought some small trinkets for our Miss from outside. Though the items aren’t valuable, they are delicate, and they need a careful person to go fetch them. They specified that Sister should go."
I put on my cloak and walked listlessly in the direction of Second Young Master’s courtyard.
Passing by a rockery, I suddenly heard a voice: "Miss Lin."
I turned to look and was surprised to see Young Master Fan walking toward me with an indifferent expression.
Behind him followed a boy dressed as a page boy. Though his head was lowered, after two steps I recognized that it was Xing’er!
I stared at Young Master Fan in shock. He stopped a few steps in front of me, looked back at Xing’er, and said in a cold voice, "He was going to sever two of his own fingers so he could redeem you and then take you to Hangzhou to find your family."
I stood blankly for a moment before realizing what he was saying. I hurried forward and picked up one of Xing’er’s hands—intact and unharmed—then picked up the other. Still fine.
"Why?" I was frantic inside, but my voice remained soft and restrained. "Who was going to sever your fingers? How could you possibly redeem me?"
Xing’er dropped straight to his knees before me and choked out, "Young Miss."
I looked at him in alarm and suspicion.
"The ones who saved Xing’er were three traveling performers from the jianghu, none of them very old, led by a girl called Meng Ni’er."
I slowly turned to look at Young Master Fan, my expression calm, gazing steadily at him.
At first, he met my gaze, but he quickly lowered his eyes. His lips pressed tightly together. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and he spoke again in a deep voice:
"After Xing’er was saved by them, he swore an oath to follow Meng Ni’er for the rest of his life. For as long as he lived, he would sell his life to her. I happened to return today and went to a teahouse to drink tea. I saw someone going upstairs whose face greatly resembled the younger brother in your portrait, so I followed him upstairs and overheard their conversation. From what I gathered, they seem to have come into some wealth. Xing’er wanted to take a share of it to redeem you. He said that after he escorted you to Hangzhou and found your family, he would return to Meng Ni’er and the others. He was just about to sever two fingers as proof when I stopped him."
After listening to him finish, I grabbed Xing’er and pulled him a few steps to the side, lowering my voice. "I won’t allow you to sell your life to that Meng girl or whoever she is! You are a family-born servant of our house—you belong to the Lin Family in this life! You don’t need to redeem me either. This Young Master Fan went to Hangzhou and looked for my parents. Soon, both of us will be able to go back!"
Xing’er sobbed, "Young Miss, the Lin Family is gone! The Lin Family is already gone! We can never go back!"
I glared at him in anger.
Young Master Fan’s voice rose by my ear. "...I found your family’s ancestral home, but it has already been occupied by refugees, filthy and dilapidated beyond description. I made inquiries in many places, but no one has seen your family. Based on my speculation, not long after you set out on your move, you encountered rebel soldiers. You and Xing’er escaped from the scene. Your family was likely plundered by the rebel soldiers. The road to Hangzhou is long, and with the world in chaos, they have probably long since been scattered to who knows where."
Tears fell from my eyes one after another. I looked at Xing’er through a blur. We could never go back.
"If your family’s whereabouts are unknown and their fates uncertain, it may not necessarily be a good thing for a young woman like you to buy out your contract and leave. It would be more stable to remain in the Cao household," Young Master Fan said.
His voice seemed distant yet near, clear yet indistinct. I even suspected that it was not him speaking, but words from my own heart.
I wiped my eyes, took Xing’er’s hand, and smiled. "It’s all right, Xing’er. I’m doing very well in the Cao household. The food and provisions are even better than what we had at home. As for you, I won’t let you sell your life to anyone. Some day, ask that Meng Ni’er to meet me. I’ll ask her what it would take to repay her life-saving kindness. I receive two taels of silver in monthly wages. If I give her all of it, how could she be unwilling?"