I gazed at his hechang cloak fluttering in the wind, lined with thick black-gray squirrel fur, its outer layer a bamboo-green feather gauze.
His bearing was graceful, his splendor peerless.
My heart ached with sourness, both joyful and wounded.
Though I knew full well there had to be another reason for his marriage, there was, after all, still the matter of saving my life.
Thinking of this, my chest surged. I asked him, “Is it worth it? This is a matter for a lifetime. To marry someone you do not like and face her day and night—what joy is there in that?” After asking, my heart sank, and I hurriedly added, “Do you… like Miss Ma?”
Having blurted it all out in one breath, my heart pounded wildly. I was so ashamed I wished I could immediately find a crack in the ground and crawl into it.
Yet I did not regret it. I only stared at him with wide eyes, my face burning red.
The Second Young Master first looked astonished, then smiled warmly. “I have only heard of her and have never met her, so there is no question of liking or disliking. I am the eldest son in the family; establishing a household is an important duty. Among the noble young ladies Mother has taken a fancy to, their character and appearance are all much the same. So long as she is virtuous and gentle, that is enough.”
“That is enough?” I lowered my eyes and murmured.
“What are you thinking about?”
A pain struck my forehead. I looked up and saw a smile at the corner of his mouth as he made as if to flick me again. I tilted my head away and retreated several steps.
Only then did I suddenly realize I had misunderstood. My heart emptied at once, filled with an indescribable disappointment and chill. My body, too, felt terribly cold. Something cool touched my face, and only then did I realize snow had begun to fall at some point.
“It’s snowing,” he said with a bright laugh.
His voice was clear and warm, piercing through the cold. I drew a breath and smiled as well. “In weather like this, one ought to sit by the brazier and admire the snow. Why are we standing here in the cold wind? Let’s hurry back.”
I dipped in a curtsy and turned to leave, when I heard him say, “Come. I’ll take you somewhere nice.”
I smiled. “We should go back! Third Miss…”
“Seeing as a heavy snow is about to fall, Third Sister will have no use for you. Once we return to the capital after a while, you won’t be able to see the scenery of Yangzhou anymore.”
“We’re going out of the residence?” Though I was astonished, I felt a faint anticipation.
“Don’t worry. We’ll use the side gate and have Fuming make arrangements ahead of time. No one will know.”
“All right. I’ll go!”
There is no banquet in the world that does not come to an end. Once he returned to the capital and married, there would never again be such moments together.
Besides, ever since I had come to the Cao residence, I had spent my days cautious and careful. This grand mansion of carved railings and jade-like steps was like my cage. If I could leave for even a moment, then I could be free for that moment.
We left the Cao residence in a small sedan chair.
After turning into another street, the Second Young Master lifted a corner of the curtain. Large snowflakes immediately poured in with the cold wind. He called for the chair to stop, then turned back and smiled at me. “Are you afraid of the cold?”
I smiled and shook my head.
“How about we go on horseback? The sedan chair is too slow.”
I put on my hood and said boldly, “Why not?”
“You don’t know how to ride. Shall we share one steed?”
I said, “Why so much nonsense? Hurry and get out of the chair!”
He laughed twice, helped me down from the sedan chair, then pulled me onto the horse, letting me sit behind him. He also instructed Fuming to wait at a nearby teahouse. With a cry of “Hyah!” the red horse beneath us galloped away.
It was not until noon that we returned to the Cao residence.
We still returned by sedan chair. After circling to a quiet path, I got out first. Through the curtain, he said, “Be careful, the road is slippery. Don’t forget to drink some ginger soup when you get back to drive out the chill.”
I answered, then walked quickly away into the wind and snow.
After more than a dozen steps, I looked back. All was a vast whiteness, flying snow and misty vapor. Only a faint shadow of the sedan chair remained.
When I returned to Cao Yingshan’s courtyard, it was utterly quiet. The maids and servant women had all hidden indoors.
I had just reached my own room when a young maid ran over and said, “Sister, where did you go? Miss has been looking everywhere for you.”
I had no choice but to hurriedly change my shoes, socks, and clothes, then hang the Second Young Master’s cloak in the wardrobe before going over.
Cao Yingshan was eating hot pot in the warm chamber. She waved at me repeatedly to come over and said, “I haven’t seen a trace of you all morning. I saw the pattern embroidered on your handkerchief was pretty and wanted you to teach me. It’s rare that I had some free time, yet I couldn’t find you no matter how I looked!”
As soon as I heard this, I knew she wanted to embroider something for Young Master Fan. I said, “This servant heard the plum blossoms had bloomed, so I went to cut a few branches to put in vases in Miss’s room. Who knew the snow would fall heavier and heavier? I could only take shelter under a pavilion and was delayed. Once the little maid brings the plum blossoms over later, this servant will teach you to embroider plum blossoms.”
Cao Yingshan watched me the entire time I spoke, then leaned closer curiously. “What are you so happy about? You’ve been smiling the whole time!”
After returning to my room, I looked into the bronze mirror at the face reflected within.
My eyes were bright, my cheeks flushed crimson, and the corners of my lips kept curving upward.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I thought of what had happened outside with the Second Young Master that morning…
He had taken me on horseback to Slender West Lake.
In a teahouse deep within a bamboo grove, he and I sat by the window.
Outside the window was a stretch of West Lake water. Heavy snow whirled wildly, the sky vast and misty as smoke. All around was silent; only the occasional crackle of the fire could be heard.
The scenery before me absorbed me so completely that only after a long while did I realize the two of us had not spoken a single word since coming in. Returning to myself, I hurriedly looked at him.
He, too, was gazing outside. Sensing my eyes on him, he turned his head, sighed softly, and leaned lazily against the couch. “When I first came to Yangzhou, I often came here. Such beautiful scenery—after this, I fear it will be difficult to see it again.”
I poured him a cup of tea and said, “The Cao family’s ancestral home is here. Even if you go to the capital, there will always be chances to return.”
He smiled faintly, sat upright, and lifted the teacup to drink slowly. After a long silence, he suddenly said, “This trip to the capital is also because my father has secured an official post for me. With my temperament, I used to want only to be an idle man, fishing by the lake with good friends in summer, and sitting by the brazier to admire the snow in winter.”
I listened intently, always feeling that he at this moment was different from his usual self, that the words he spoke now were unlike the words he usually said. This person before me now was the true him.
But when he reached this point, he said no more. He only drew out a faint smile and recited aloud, “Grape wine in luminous cups; just as one would drink, the pipa urges from horseback. If I lie drunk upon the battlefield, do not laugh, my lord. Since ancient times, how many who went to war have ever returned?”
I sat there dazed, admiring his bearing, grieving for his melancholy, moved by his sincerity. Softly, I said, “Can one become drunk on tea as well? Why are you telling me all this? Why… are you so good to me?”
After asking, my face began to burn. Was I still unwilling to give up? Did I insist on asking until everything was perfectly clear?
He poured me a cup of tea and poured one for himself as well. He touched his cup to the side of mine, as if substituting tea for wine, and said, “Because you are not as dull and stiff as those noble young ladies.”
My brows lifted, and just as I was about to retort, he smiled and said, “See, I told you that you are different from them. You can’t bear the slightest loss. Do you still remember the first time we met? You had already turned to leave, but then suddenly came back and opened your mouth to ask me for wine. Your courage was quite something. Later, when I learned you belonged to our household, I thought it was truly wonderful. You are clever, your words are interesting, and your temperament suits mine very well. Naturally, I had to protect you.”
After he finished speaking, he lifted his cup and sipped his tea in an easy, leisurely manner.
From that moment on, there was a faint smile at the corner of my mouth.
So it was true. He treated me as a kindred spirit. He helped me and looked after me only because he was generous and kind by nature, only because he appreciated me. It had nothing to do with romance; it was only sincere regard.
I felt I had been relieved of a burden, and so I chatted freely with him.
From trifles within the residence to amusing tales from ancient and modern times, from the bustling capital to the delicacies of our hometowns, from zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting to worthies of past and present. We were even more like kindred spirits.
When we were about to leave, I stepped down from the tea platform and, ignoring his attempts to stop me, knelt on the floor. “Second Young Master, I do not wish to go to the capital. Although my contract of sale is a lifelong bond, so even if my family comes to find me in the future, Third Miss may not be willing to release me, if I stay here, there is at least still hope. Please help Juanyun once more, Second Young Master. Let me stay here to watch over the Cao residence. If my wish is granted, Juanyun will set up a Buddhist tablet for Second Young Master and burn incense and recite scriptures every day to pray for your blessings, longevity, and peace.”
“All right.” I had only just finished speaking when he agreed readily.
The next day, after I had served Cao Yingshan breakfast, a servant woman came in and said, “Miss Duo’er, your family has come to see you. They’re waiting at the corner gate.”