EP.41 Even a Dog Is No Exception
"Tirkanjaka trainee!"
I called out to the vampire who was about to leave. She tilted her parasol slightly and turned only her head to look at me.
"What is it."
"It was just a dog barking. Don't let it bother you too much. I'll help you."
"Bother me? Hoh. Setting aside whether or not I am bothered, what do you mean you can help?"
Better to overwrite the memory entirely than to fuss over it clumsily. Tsk, this. Covering for a regressor is tough.
I promptly reached out and took the vampire's hand. It was so small and slender that I felt I could hide it within my palm. While the vampire flinched, I gently wrapped my hand around hers.
"What are you doing?"
What am I doing? I held your hand.
But that's probably not the answer the vampire wanted. Those words were a reproach for rudely grabbing a lady's hand. Though in this case, the "lady" was more like an aged one.
Anyway, rather than making excuses here.
"Your hand is cool."
"Cool?"
"Yes. Like the shade of a tree you stumble upon in summer, a temperature that feels just right. It seems like it would stay refreshing even if I held it for a long time."
A line that might be a bit cheesy. Taking advantage of the vampire's momentary speechlessness, I pulled her hand. She could have shaken it off, but her confused heart couldn't find its bearings. My hand became a guidepost for her lost heart. The vampire followed my hand without resistance.
With one hand pulling the vampire, I stretched out my other hand to Aji. Aji, who had been wary of the approaching vampire, looked at me and lifted her head.
"Hey. Aji."
"Grr... woof."
"You little rascal. Calm down. Are you salt? You're not going to die just from touching a bit of water, so why are you so upset?"
"Woof?"
"Cheer up! Paw!"
"Woof!"
Aji immediately raised her paw. I chuckled and tickled Aji's chin. And slowly, I pulled the vampire's hand closer. Aji's paw and the vampire's hand grew closer and closer.
'No way. You're trying to make me touch the King of Dogs? Such a childish thought.'
The vampire, realizing what I was trying to do, hesitated. Her hand didn't move. She was afraid of touching. It wasn't because she was worried about being attacked. Aji was the King of Dogs who only accepted humans. That's why the vampire had never been welcomed by any dog. When the vampire walked through a village, dogs either barked fiercely or whimpered and ran away. Thus, encounters between vampires and dogs always ended in unilateral rejection.
"It's okay. My dog doesn't bite."
I gently guided her. After a moment of hesitation, the vampire relaxed as if giving in. And Aji didn't refuse me, so. I pulled the two hands closer until they overlapped.
Of course, nothing dramatic happened just because they touched. The vampire didn't shed tears of emotion, and Aji didn't particularly bare her teeth. Setting aside the fact that vampires can't cry and Aji can't be hostile to humans, what had just happened was simply that trivial.
I pointed that out to the vampire.
"A dog barking or avoiding someone's hand is an everyday thing. Normally, if someone's a stranger, a suspicious dog will bark first. So from now on, don't read too much into it and think that just because a dog is a little afraid of you, the King of Dogs is your enemy or you're not human."
And then I turned to glare at Aji. Aji was looking at me with big, bright eyes.
"Aji, you too. Don't just bark at people. Tsk! Do you know who this is?"
"Woof?"
"You try living as long as she has. Her age is like dust, the more you eat, the more it clings to every nook and cranny. Sadly, that's unavoidable. But if you bark at her just because her age shows a little in her mannerisms, how do you think she feels? Ow! Why do you hit me again!"
"That's the price for your insolence. You rude brat."
The vampire snorted.
"You're several times more insolent than the King of Dogs or Shei. You're wrong from the start, thinking I'd be upset over something so trivial."
"If you're not upset, then don't hit me!"
"You don't watch your words, so why should I have to watch my actions?"
This time, the vampire reached out her hand. Her fern-like hand flicked my forehead. Something lightly touched my forehead. It didn't hurt at all. It was just a little cold.
The vampire smiled pleasantly and took her hand away.
"And regardless of what you say, I have no intention of attending to the King of Dogs. If I'm around, the King of Dogs will run wild mercilessly. I'd rather not wrestle with a violently resisting beast king."
"I wasn't really expecting labor from Tirkanjaka trainee anyway. Don't you know me? As you can see, if there's one thing I excel at, it's impeccable manners."
"...?"
'Aha. So manners as I know them must have disappeared in this era. I thought these kids were exceptionally rude, but if times have changed, then it could be.'
What kind of absurd misunderstanding is this? I'm rude? That's strange. Where in the world is there someone who respects seniority and hierarchy as well as I do?
"Anyway, to summarize everyone's positions: First, I need to wash Aji. Shei trainee disapproves of a dirty man other than herself washing Aji. Tirkanjaka trainee, you leave the work to us. The end?"
"Woof! Me! I don't want to wash!"
"You shut up!"
"Whine."
"Listen up, everyone. This is a secret plan to solve everything at once."
I said with grave determination.
"Now, first. I will wash Aji... only 'a part' of her."
"A part?"
I explained my plan to those who were puzzled.
"Originally, I wanted to wash her whole body, but since Shei trainee opposes it so much, I have no choice. Instead, I'll thoroughly wash Aji's paws, feet, and hair... the parts with fur, until there's no more loose fur or dust to come off."
First, my biggest goal is to remove Aji's fur and dust. If that's guaranteed, I can compromise on the rest.
"Then, Shei trainee, who wants to touch Aji's whole body, can wipe the rest. I'll turn a blind eye to her fulfilling her personal desires. Tell her to wash on her own. Unlike Shei trainee, my goal is purely hygiene and cleanliness, so as long as she uses water and soap properly, I don't really care what she does with Aji. Though it is a bit annoying."
"Don't slander me! I have no intention of doing anything with Aji either!"
Ignoring the regressor's protest, I continued.
"And Tirkanjaka trainee, please supervise Shei trainee and me from a neutral perspective. I'm one thing, but who knows what Shei trainee, with her head full of demons, might do."
"I said I won't do it!"
"Well, what can I do? According to Shei trainee, regardless of will or inner thoughts, the moment a man touches a woman's body, lewd thoughts arise. I want to be virtuous, so I'll give up. Instead, I'll pass this opportunity to Shei trainee."
"Stop slandering me! I...!"
Perhaps upset by the continuous teasing, the regressor jumped up and shouted.
"I said I like men!"
Well, of course. She's a woman.
But unlike me, the vampire was greatly shocked.
"Wha...what? A man, likes men?"
At the shocking coming-out of someone she considered a disciple, the vampire's eyes widened. So surprised was she that, without even having high blood pressure, she instinctively grabbed the back of her neck. After staggering for a moment, the vampire waved her hand.
"It's, it's fine. The world is wide, and times have changed. That could happen."
"Ah, no. Wait. Tirkanjaka. This is..."
"I understand. I do understand, but... can you step back for a moment?"
The regressor, who had finally been cut off by the vampire, made a dumb expression, then soon glared at me, fuming. I don't know why she's glaring at me like an enemy when she self-destructed on her own.
Anyway, no one rejected my proposal.
"Woof! Woof! Me! I don't want to wash!"
No one rejected my proposal. 3:0. Passed unanimously.
Aji kept barking something, but dogs don't have voting rights. If she's unhappy, she can go get an ID card, change the law, and come back. Of course, if she brings a dog ID card and calls it an ID, she'll be sent straight to the doghouse.
With public support, I immediately began washing Aji.
"Whine, whine..."
Aji stretched her arms out with all her might and turned her head away as if she couldn't bear to look. She seemed to want to tear her hands away, covered in water and soap bubbles, if she could. Regardless, I firmly poured water on Aji's paws and scraped them with laundry soap. Every time, Aji shut her eyes tight and whimpered as if having a nightmare.
"Ugh. Look at this dirty water. It gives me chills to think she's been walking around with these paws."
Water mixed with golden fur and black grime flows down the drain. I am infinitely grateful to the Earth Mother Goddess who accepts even this dirty water.
Aji is a dog. Though she wears a human shell, what dwells in her body are dog traits. She doesn't sweat a drop from her body, but her palms and soles have sweat glands, so they get damp quickly when she runs around. On top of that, sweat, fur, and dust clumped together into an indescribable mess. I almost scraped Aji's soft paw pads. Even when Aji fidgeted as if ticklish, I forced her paws open and wiped them. It was an act closer to laundering or scrubbing than bathing. Sweat beaded on my forehead, but for the sake of Tantalus's hygiene, I could never compromise on this.
The sight of me silently wiping away all the filth was truly holy. The regressor who accused me of being impure will see this and reflect. A heartless touch that has no trace of lust, purely for the sake of cleanliness...
"...How lewd."
"Huh?"
Wait. What did I just hear?
I looked up to see the vampire covering her eyes with one hand as if she couldn't bear to watch.
"To paw so lewdly at the hands of a moaning maiden. It's shameful. What else could it be but lewd?"
I forgot. The vampire is an old fogey with a sense of ethics from 12 centuries ago. To this vampire, even a man and woman holding hands has a lewd meaning!
"No. Setting aside why holding hands is lewd, she's a dog, you know."
"That's why I'm just watching instead of using force to punish you. But still, lewd is lewd... How dreadful. Shei wasn't worrying for nothing after all."
"Crazy."
At this rate, she'll say interlocking fingers is the same as overlapping bodies. I ignored her and focused on laundering Aji.
During the washing, every time my soapy fingers dug into Aji's thick fur or between her toes, I had to hear sighs of "Ahem," "Umm," "Tsk."
It's tragic. I just want to live cleanly, but I'm being called lewd while washing a dog's paws. If I had actually done something lewd, I wouldn't feel so wronged. Even being scolded by a mother-in-law for poor housework might be less sad than this.
"They say among the abnormal, the normal person becomes abnormal..."
I lamented while washing Aji's paws. For some reason, the regressor and the vampire nodded as if they agreed. I'm about to burst.
'That man. He's skilled at handling Aji and Tirkanjaka.'
The King of Dogs, now washing her head, with soap bubbles all over her hands and feet. Though she had tilted her head back and covered her forehead with a towel, she kept her eyes and mouth shut in case water splashed. The vampire was fiddling with her own hair and muttering things like "How dreadful."
The regressor quietly watched them and fell into thought.
'Aji and Tirkanjaka don't fundamentally hate humans. They are beings who cannot exist without humans. But.'
But in the previous round.
The vampire was destined to lead a blood army and march toward the Holy See, only to be defeated... The regressor had stepped in a beat early, thwarted the vampires' uprising, and succeeded in making them allies, but she couldn't resolve the deep-seated resentment.
Aji became a monster that tore into humans with claws and teeth. She didn't confirm her final fate, but she must have died somewhere on the battlefield. Back then, the regressor slaughtered countless beasts, beastmen, and the mastermind behind the plan.
Compared to how they are now, it's a change that defies common sense.
'What on earth happened to them in the previous round? No.'
The regressor's eyes turned to the man washing Aji. His words and actions are too light for an instructor, and he's ambiguous as a strong guy, but he's an unfathomable figure. An outsider who suddenly appeared in Tantalus, and the only one who wasn't there when Tantalus collapsed.
'That man. What on earth did he do to them?'
She can't be sure because she doesn't know the future. The regressor pursued the past, but history changed the moment she entered this place.
'Originally, I intended to eliminate all variables, but that man was stronger than expected. So I changed my plan to keep an eye on what he does... But I've already interfered, so I don't know if this is the true history. It's been derailed too much. All that's left is to piece together clues from before the regression.'
The regressor's gaze turned downward. The rooftop with the water tank, the highest place in Tantalus. To pinpoint him, still holding his breath down below.
'The witness who watched all this inside Tantalus... the immortal. When will he open his eyes? If I can match the timing of his awakening with his testimony, I might find out something.'
After rinsing repeatedly, the soap bubbles disappear from Aji's body. Her glossy brownish-gold fur shines even under the dim light. When I roughly dried her, Aji shook her head. Water droplets from her fur splashed everywhere, and the man hit by the shower got angry.
It's a pastoral and peaceful scene. The vampire is stable, and Aji is healthy. If this daily life continues, those who were once fragments of the apocalypse will walk out of Tantalus just like this, in peace...
Though it can't be, but it would be nice if it did.
The regressor snapped out of her thoughts.
And at the same time, my eyes, which had been peeking at that memory, also sank.