Now for the next story.
President Donald, who has been escalating his remarks against allied nations day after day, signed a tariff executive order yesterday for the first time.
At a briefing with reporters that day, the White House spokesperson said, “Our allies’ exploitation of America has gone too far,” and that “trade must be reciprocal.” The first target was Canada, a core pillar of the U.S. alliance system, and under this tariff order, a blanket 25% tariff has been imposed on all goods.
In response, the Canadian Prime Minister’s Office expressed regret in very strong terms.
Prime Minister Trudeau held an emergency press conference that day, stating, “Canada-U.S. trade is already sufficiently reciprocal,” and “I am concerned that this White House decision may shake the one-hundred-year military alliance between our two countries.” Unfazed, President Donald posted on social media, “This all ends if Canada becomes America’s 51st state,” causing the controversy to spread even further.
Among experts as well, the prevailing reaction to the White House tariff order is that it was “unexpected.”
Canada is a member of Five Eyes and a pillar of the Anglosphere alliance, and due to its geopolitical characteristics, it is a bordering nation on which the United States relies even more heavily than Britain. In fact, most U.S. border states have maintained a close symbiotic relationship with Canada, building power plants there and receiving energy supplies.
Accordingly, the renowned American think tank Walls evaluated the White House decision as “a decision utterly impossible to understand.” In a report released that day, the director of Walls criticized it harshly, saying, “If trade between the two countries collapses, the United States will also suffer immense damage,” and calling it “the stupidest decision made in the twenty-first century.”
Strong criticism is also pouring in from academia and experts.
Professor Calvin of Harvard University’s Department of Economics strongly criticized the government on his social media, saying, “It was an utterly ignorant measure, devoid of even a basic understanding of economics,” and “Tariffs imposed by the U.S. government are taxes that must be borne by the American people, and in no respect do they align with the national interest.”
Wall Street’s reaction has been even more intense.
On the day President Donald’s tariff order was decided, the Nasdaq plunged as much as 8% intraday, collapsing below the 17,000 mark in a single day.
In an anonymous interview, a JP official commented, “The scariest part is that Canada is being made an example of,” and “If even a core Anglosphere ally is being hit with a 25% tariff, it will be even harsher for other countries.”
As for the White House plan to revive manufacturing by moving global factories to the United States, the official said, “It is a policy that could ruin the country before President Donald’s term is even over,” and stated, “For the time being, we have no plans to invest in the United States.”
Despite these concerns from all sectors, however, the White House maintains that it will uphold the executive order.
Regarding the Nasdaq’s 8% plunge, President Donald said, “As expected, the Baidon administration was truly incompetent,” and “Anyone criticizing me right now is highly likely to be a Chinese spy. I intend to give Canada the opportunity to become America’s 51st state.”
In response, unprecedented anti-American demonstrations and movements to use domestic products are taking place in Canada’s capital, Ottawa, and in Toronto.
More details...
*
-Crazy bastard!
-Does this make any sense?!
-My pension! My retirement!
-Bring back the shattered Nasdaq!
-You’re telling me the people really elected that man themselves?!
Marx said it. Capitalism inevitably leads to imperialism... If so, had he already foreseen this eccentric man a hundred years ago?
“Make America Great Again!”
The Nasdaq, which had crashed to 17,000, collapsed below the 16,000 mark overnight once again, but the White House did not relent.
On the contrary, it continued offering Canada the honor of becoming the 51st state. At this point, if they just sent in the army, it would be Germany’s annexation of Austria.
But the “51st state chance” was not given to everyone.
To Mexico, which was hit with the same tariffs and protested, the White House absolutely did not offer a proposal to become the 51st state.
Why...? Back in the days of westward expansion, they had loved Mexican land so much, so why would they not even make the offer now?
Apparently, Mexico no longer seemed desirable.
“...”
Watching the Nasdaq plunge to 15,000 over the course of three days, I let out a bitter laugh.
At last week’s risk meeting, I had used sheer stubborn insistence to dispose of 100 trillion won in pension fund assets, but I did not feel particularly good about it.
It would be our turn soon. I knew very well just how absurd a bill the United States would hand us.
This time, too, they would seize on agricultural products as a pretext to slap tariffs on our automobiles and demand an outrageous level of investment in America.
You might think investing in America would be an opportunity to make a lot of money, but the problem was that this was not that kind of investment. The investment in America that Donald wanted was, in effect, extortion: immediately funding projects designated by the U.S. government, and if profits were generated, offering 90% of them up to the U.S. government.
We would have to use 500 trillion won—equivalent to one year of the Korean government’s budget—as seed money for American companies, and we would have no rights to the profits... So even if I had prevented a 100 trillion won investment loss for the pension fund, there was no way I could feel good.
“Team Leader Lee! I knew I could trust you!”
Whether he knew what I was feeling or not, Department Head Oh came to my office with an excited expression.
“This guy really is a lunatic. The Nasdaq crashed again yesterday. At this rate, even 15,000 will collapse soon. Damn it, if I’d known this would happen, I should’ve cashed out completely like Warren.”
“...”
“Anyway, thanks to you, at least we disposed of 100 trillion. The division head is calling for us urgently. Let’s discuss how to respond to the market going forward.”
I answered.
“We should buy.”
“What?”
“We had one round of bargain sales, so now we should buy.”
“...You’re saying we should purchase? In this market?”
“These tariffs were never going to last long from the beginning. The Nasdaq is practically the retirement fund of the American people, so even the Donald administration won’t be able to hold out for long.”
“No, does that even make sense? The White House signed it last week.”
“It will be suspended. If the Nasdaq crashes any further, an impeachment vote will be brought up in the Republican Party.”
If my memory was correct, the executive order was suspended in about a week.
“Even so, does that make any sense...? The Donald administration has only just begun. That means this kind of threat will be lurking for the next four years. Isn’t buying now way too hasty?”
“The first time is hard, but is the second time hard too? Once the White House backs down this time, the market won’t react no matter what bizarre stunt Donald pulls. We should just consider it one strong vaccination shot.”
Department Head Oh still looked as if he could not understand.
Of course he would. The fact that the White House had signed something like this was nonsense in itself, and now I was saying they would reverse it in less than a week. It had to be impossible to believe.
On top of that, during this panic sell-off, it was almost entirely institutions and foreign investors who had dumped their holdings. For a model investor, it was unimaginable for market conditions to flip back and forth like a hotteok on a griddle.
“Are you serious? Are you really that certain?”
“Yes. We need to diligently scoop them up now. Not gradual purchases, but a full purchase.”
“That’s absurd!”
“We have to value invest. America’s financial capital is more powerful than the president. The White House will yield.”
Even as I said that, I felt ashamed of myself.
In truth, this was not value investing. This was the textbook example of shit-value investing that would have the public cursing up a storm.
“Not gradual purchases, but buying everything? No, no! No matter how I look at it, this makes no sense! Team Leader Lee, I’ll acknowledge your selling timing this time, but I absolutely cannot agree with your buying timing. I’m telling you, Donald still has four years left in his term.”
With his investment principles of twenty years shattered, Department Head Oh suffered as if he were coughing blood.
The dot-com bubble, subprime... Even for him, who had experienced all manner of ups and downs, this problem seemed difficult.
But I did not have much time. Once again, I had no choice but to pull out the cheat key.
“Department Head, this is Changcheng Fund’s return for this month. They say they invested in inverse products and the like due to various political risks, and their returns are excellent. They really are skilled people... aren’t they?”
“No, you really...”
“That same Changcheng Fund has closed its short position and turned back to a long position. There are many predictions in and around Washington that Donald will suspend the tariff order, and Changcheng sees that as the likely outcome.”
“Haa...”
Department Head Oh pressed his fingers to his temples and sank into a chair.
“I really must be at the age to retire. Since when did the stock market become a ladder lottery?”
I smiled bitterly.
As he said, recent global market conditions had rendered financial reports meaningless. Most markets were moving not according to economics, but according to political logic. Wars and tariffs that, from an economic standpoint, should never be able to happen...
Regrettably, however, I had no time to comfort him.
“Department Head, actually, that isn’t what matters right now. We have a bigger assignment left.”
“A bigger assignment?”
“After North America and South America are done, next comes Europe and East Asia. A delegation to the United States will be formed soon, and we have to prepare our response as well.”
“...What?”
“Japan began negotiations with the U.S. first, and an absurd tribute estimate came out. But it won’t be any different for Korea.”
“You mean investment funds for the U.S.?”
“Yes. If the same estimate comes out, our government will ultimately have no choice but to use pension fund money. So we need to start explaining our position to the government now.”
As the old saying goes, even if a farmer dies, he dies with his seed grain beneath his head.
Whatever else happened, we could never let the seed money of our companies be taken by the United States of America.
*
“I am not a Baidon man.”
The main conference room of the U.S. Department of Commerce.
It was the day of the farewell ceremony for Deputy Secretary Thomas, who had been fired a week earlier.
Having received the sudden notice of dismissal, he had barely been able to pack his things before vacating his office, and naturally, this was not good for the morale of the staff.
If you said anything different from government policy, you would be branded as a predecessor’s man and buried along with him. Even if the policy was obviously wrong.
“So I ask this of you all. We are bureaucrats. We must never represent the interests of any particular faction. According to your assigned duties! According to your responsibilities! According to your conscience! I hope you will quietly fulfill your roles. Thank you.”
Thunderous applause erupted in the conference room.
It was already being proven that Donald’s tariff order was wrong. In less than a week, the Nasdaq was heading into the basement.
After smoothly finishing the farewell ceremony, Thomas stopped by his office and packed his last belongings.
Looking at the empty office, tears welled up in his eyes once again.
“Wh-who...?”
At that moment, unidentified shadows suddenly descended upon his office.
“Ah, please don’t be alarmed, Deputy Secretary. I’m Chief of Staff Taley from the White House.”
“Hmph, how amusing. What is it? Did you come to watch whether I packed up properly or not? Go explain it clearly to the White House. I emptied the room cleanly!”
“That is not it... There was a message His Excellency the President absolutely insisted I deliver.”
Chief Taley scratched his head with an awkward expression.
“The White House has decided to suspend the executive order. For the time being, he will approach tariffs cautiously.”
“What? Are you playing games with me right now?!”
“I’m sorry it turned out this way... And so, His Excellency made a special request.”
Chief Taley said in a barely audible voice.
“You are hired...”