Hainer's face was turned away from the moon, so his expression was difficult to make out. For some reason, the moment Anette heard his voice, strength drained from her legs.
Hainer firmly grasped Anette's swaying arms and steadied her. Once she had roughly regained her balance, he led her toward the shore.
Anette stood on the sand and carefully looked up at Hainer.
Shadows lined the side of his tall nose on his face, reflected in the moonlight. The sight was pale and beautiful, like a perfectly sculpted statue.
His jaw tensed as it met Anette's gaze. His gray eyes lowered as if sinking beneath the surface. Anette spoke as though muttering.
"You're late. I thought you'd come to get me earlier."
"Put on your shoes and get your things. Right now."
Hainer commanded with a completely rigid face. She nodded faintly and tried to move, then faltered. A belated pain throbbed from her foot.
She must have stepped on something wrong; blood was seeping out. Anette wondered whether to ask him to bring her shoes. Though it was a trivial request, she found it hard to speak up.
Watching her, Hainer let out a somewhat irritable sigh.
"Stay right there."
Hainer walked to where her things were and picked up her shoes and a paper bag. Anette absently took the paper bag thrust in front of her.
The next moment, her body was swept up. Anette let out a short scream and clutched his coat. Hainer held her with one arm under her bottom and the other behind her knees.
"I can walk...!"
Anette cried out in confusion, but he didn't answer. The hem of her dress, heavy with seawater, dampened Hainer's clothes through.
"It's not so bad that I can't walk. Hainer, put me down."
No matter how many times Anette said it, he didn't even pretend to hear. She eventually gave up and relaxed her body.
Hainer carried Anette in one arm, the shoes in his other hand, and quickly left the beach. The moisture slowly dried in the cold sea breeze.
Hainer had arrived at a nearby hotel. Even at the hotel entrance, he showed no intention of putting her down. Anette tried to twist free.
"Put me down for real now. I'll put on my shoes...."
"Stay still."
He cut off Anette's words with a gloomy voice.
Hainer's mood seemed extremely low. Anette looked at his neck, faint veins standing out, and felt puzzled.
'Is he angry because I ran away... Why?'
She hadn't expected him to be angry. She had thought Hainer would simply send an attendant to bring her back immediately, warn her with a few words, and lock her in her room.
'This time, I might really end up in a mental hospital.'
While Anette calmly anticipated what was to come, Hainer strode into the hotel.
Once under the bright lights, Anette buried her face in his chest. She was afraid someone might recognize her.
Hainer's uniquely heavy scent grew thick and sudden. Anette stayed still with her nose pressed into his embrace. She could feel his body stiffening faintly.
He would hate it, but it couldn't be helped. He was the one who had refused her request to be put down. If he disliked the closeness, he could simply let her go.
However, Hainer only tightened his lips slightly and did not put her down.
Having received a key for a vacant room from the front desk, Hainer boarded the elevator. They exchanged no words at all until they reached the room.
As soon as they entered the room, Hainer roughly threw the shoes aside. He also snatched the paper bag Anette had been holding and put it down as if tossing it. Her handbag, which had been inside the paper bag, slid halfway out.
Hainer frowned at the black handbag.
"What if someone had stolen it? Why did you leave that on the sand?"
"...You're right."
She hadn't thought of it. It was foolish, but true. Anette had never once considered that someone might 'steal' her belongings.
Stealing others' things was an extremely uncultured, vulgar act. She had never imagined such behavior. She lacked nothing, so there was nothing to steal.
Furthermore, Anette always had attendants with her. Naturally, they watched her luggage. It wasn't something she needed to worry about.
While Anette was immersed in this new realization and shock, Hainer carried her toward the bathroom.
He pushed the tin bathtub against the wall, then set Anette down inside it. Anette stood leaning against the wall, her injured foot slightly raised.
"...I'll wash myself."
At that, Hainer stared at her face blankly for a moment. Then he turned sharply and left the bathroom. He left the door open.
Anette hesitated briefly, then rolled up her skirt and washed only her legs and feet.
Seeing the open door, it seemed he meant for her to do exactly that. Besides, there didn't seem to be hot water, so a bath would have been difficult anyway.
The blood clotted with sand washed away in the water. The wound was deeper than she'd thought. Once her eyes confirmed it, the forgotten pain rushed back. Anette forced herself to look away from the wound.
Outside, at the room entrance, she heard Hainer talking to someone. It seemed to be his attendant. Anette hurriedly wiped the moisture away with a towel.
When she came out of the bathroom, Hainer had already lit a kerosene stove and even laid out a first aid kit. He gestured with his eyes for her to come and sit.
As Anette carefully sat on the bed, Hainer examined the wound on her foot with a silent face. The hand wrapped around her foot felt unusually large and hot.
For some reason, Anette found this situation unbearably embarrassing.
Though they were husband and wife, they had never once properly faced each other's bodies. It was merely her foot, but the shame was no different.
Hainer's face remained stiff. After disinfecting the wound and applying medicine, the series of actions as he wrapped the bandage looked familiar, like an old habit.
As he tied the knot in the bandage, Hainer spoke in a frigid voice.
"What on earth were you thinking."
"..."
"Was coming to a place like this so important that you had to shake off your attendants?"
"..."
"Why, did you arrange to meet Anse and Stetter here?"
Hainer knelt on the floor with one knee, looking up at her with anger-filled eyes. Yet there was no strength in the hand holding her small foot.
"...A place like this."
Anette quietly opened her mouth.
"That's right. Just a place like this."
Their clashing gazes created small ripples in the air. Anette tilted her head.
"I wondered why I should need your permission to come to just a place like this. That's what I thought."
"Permission or not, have you forgotten you are the Commander's wife? Are you in your right mind, wandering around without attendants?"
"That's why I asked for a divorce. Because I don't want to be the Commander's wife anymore."
"So, this was an act of rebellion to ask for a divorce?"
"It's not necessarily that. I just wanted to see the sea...."
Hainer let out a hollow breath and lowered her foot to the floor.
"Well, it didn't look like you came simply to see it."
"..."
"Were you planning to go for a swim in the sea at this hour?"
"Th-that...!"
Anette opened her mouth without thought, but couldn't think of a suitable answer. She eventually closed her mouth again.
Anette herself didn't truly know why she had done it. She hadn't necessarily planned to drown and die there. But if asked whether she had wanted to live... she didn't know that either.
"...I just wanted to dip my feet in."
After some thought, Anette simply answered that way. She felt no need to explain her current feelings, her state of mind, or her jumbled thoughts to him.
Hainer twisted one corner of his mouth upward with an expression of inscrutable determination.
"I suppose so."
He spoke slowly, as if convincing himself.
"You have so many fears. You're afraid of the dark, afraid of heights... afraid of the water."
Anette looked at him silently. Hainer's words were half right and half wrong.
She still had many fears. But the examples Hainer mentioned were things of the past.
Anette was no longer afraid of the dark. Now she preferred dark places to bright ones. Places where no one could see her.
She was no longer afraid of heights, either. Seeing how she had gone into the water earlier without much hesitation, she must no longer fear the water.
What Anette feared now was of a slightly different kind.
"You're afraid of every trivial thing... yet you don't worry about what might happen to you without attendants. I've always hated you at times like this."
"..."
"That naivety of yours—incapable of even considering that someone might steal your things."
"..."
"The world has changed, but you are the same. Nothing has changed, annoyingly so. You are exactly that disgusting woman from back then."
Hainer finished each word as if chewing and spitting them out. Even after pouring everything out, his face looked not the least bit relieved.
It must be quite an old emotion, Anette thought blankly. One side of her chest ached as if hollowed out, yet her mind was calm as if broken.
Anette thought it over anew. How long had his hatred lasted? Exactly since when? From the moment they first saw each other? Or even before they knew of each other's existence?
"...Hainer."
And really.
"You must have found me laughable."
What in the world had he been thinking as he watched my love?