“···”
Rustle.
In the pure white sunlight streaming through the curtains, my eyes gently flutter open.
···It’s quiet.
Not a sound can be heard in the room; only the faint chirping of birds from outside the window drifts in.
A peaceful morning··· though the angle of the sunlight feels a bit high to be called that.
Both body and mind feel refreshed.
Up—!
At that cool, refreshing sensation, I bolt upright.
To feel such peace and refreshment upon waking?
It means something’s wrong.
I hurriedly fumble around, grab my phone, and check the time to see why the alarm didn’t go off.
Then, soon after.
Checking the date, I shake my head and let out a sigh.
June 3, 2024, 12:24 PM
···Right.
The season ended yesterday.
So today is my day off.
“Whew···”
Letting out a sigh, I lie back down on the bed.
And with my arms folded behind my head, I stare blankly at the ceiling.
It’s over.
And with a happy ending, at that.
Honestly, yesterday feels like it was all a dream, so it hasn’t really sunk in, but seeing how stiff my leg muscles are, it seems it wasn’t a dream.
A sigh of relief escapes me.
Come to think of it, it’s amazing.
The fact that I only opened my eyes at eleven o’clock.
Of course, I did go to bed quite late yesterday.
No matter when I fell asleep, I’d always wake up at seven, no matter what.
Today I slept five hours longer than that.
When was the last time I slept this long and woke up this refreshed?
Even if I quietly grope through my memories, nothing comes to mind; if I had to guess, it must have been an incredibly long time ago.
At the very least.
After I lied to Jiu, I had never woken up this refreshed.
You’d have to go back to before then.
Whether it was a rest day or not, it was all the same.
Just in case, I always set an alarm, but there weren’t many times I actually woke up to it.
Most of the time, I woke up before it.
I just thought my body rhythm was set that way and my eyes opened automatically.
But now I see that I too have a body that can sleep deeply if I want to.
Why had I been waking up as if chased even when I wanted to sleep more?
Well, the season is over now.
It must be because my mind is at ease.
But there’s probably another reason why my heart feels even lighter and my chest even clearer.
It’s because now there’s no reason for my lie to be found out.
Because, now.
It might be weird for me to say this myself, but now that story··· is no longer a lie.
Since it’s no longer a lie, there’s no fear of being caught.
Was having a clear conscience, nothing to feel guilty about, always this comforting?
If I had known this, I wouldn’t have lied in the first place.
My heart is so light, I feel like I could fly.
It feels like I’ve set down a heavy burden I’d been carrying for 365 days.
But I can’t deny that it was thanks to that lie that I was able to come this far.
If I hadn’t bought into that misunderstanding myself back then.
Would I really have made it to Fiorentina’s first team, played in the Champions League, played for a team called Manchester City, and won the Treble—that triple crown?
“···”
My head shakes on its own.
I wouldn’t have.
Absolutely.
It would have been absolutely impossible.
Nor do I think I can agree with the notion that I could have done it eventually, even if it had taken far more time.
Why? Because I’ve seen it around me all too often.
Kids who would do well if they just set their minds to studying, but can’t because they don’t.
Players who have the talent to become good if only they were a bit more diligent, but can’t stop fooling around.
Maybe talent, rather than the thing itself.
The power to make someone set their mind to it.
Motivation is just as important, perhaps even more so, is what I think.
Because no matter how much talent you have, it’s useless if you don’t use it.
My time in Torino was the basis for that thought.
There, I was merely breathing and eating day by day, only physically alive; it was a state where you could hardly say I was actually living.
Because there was no motivation whatsoever.
Thinking about it now, it seems foolish.
But back then, I truly didn’t even feel like trying hard to overcome my difficulties.
Everything just felt unfair and listless.
So every day must have felt completely meaningless.
Did I start changing bit by bit because I suddenly gained a talent I never had?
I don’t think so.
Talent isn’t something that suddenly appears overnight.
If there was a point where I started to change, it wasn’t talent, but my mindset.
The heart to want to do it.
To be exact, the feeling that I had to, but anyway.
For the first time, as I made up my own mind like that, I definitely changed.
I didn’t know it at the time, but looking back now, I was definitely changing.
Changing day by day, until I became who I am now.
Well, saying that makes me feel like I’m boasting and getting cocky, so it’s funny, but.
Isn’t it an objective fact that I’ve become a completely different being, incomparable to the person I used to be?
“···”
I subtly turn my head and look at the desk.
On the desk, a medal glinting in the sunlight catches my eye.
A Champions League winner’s medal.
That’s mine.
At this point, isn’t it okay for me to say things like “the current me”?
Pfft.
Smiling a cocky smile, I turn my head back.
Anyway, as I said.
What’s more important than given talent is the determination to use it, and the one who made me determined was Jiu.
In the end, it was Jiu who lifted me up to this point.
So I’m nothing but grateful.
I’m so grateful I don’t even know how to repay it.
This is like a debt of the heart; a gratitude that can’t be repaid with material gifts.
This··· is something I’ll have to repay for a lifetime.
Of course, whether I’ll be able to stay by Jiu’s side for a lifetime is something I don’t know.
Well, if Jiu says she doesn’t want me someday, it can’t be helped.
At the very least, I’ll try to repay her.
Whatever method it takes, in my own way.
“···”
Once, the captain—that is, Fiorentina’s captain Biraghi—said something like this.
That a man is a creature who can give his life to someone who recognizes his worth, or something like that.
Of course, it could be the same for women or men.
But I’m a man, so I can only speak from a man’s perspective.
Now I can deeply relate to those words.
I can give my life.
Because even when I doubted myself.
Jiu was the one who recognized my worth.
A small interest and trust from someone are things that hold truly great power—enough to change a person’s life.
Up—!
I spring up from bed, fold the blanket, get dressed, and leave the room.
After thinking this and that, I started missing Jiu.
The happiest thing at this moment isn’t that today is the day after winning the Treble.
It’s that if I want to see Jiu, I can see her right away.
Thud, thud, thud—!
In my haste, I go down the stairs making a racket, and the moment I do, an appetite-stimulating scent brushes my nose.
Arriving on the first floor, I see Jiu in the middle of cooking.
“What the. Why are you coming down so loudly. You’re up. You sure slept a long time.”
“Yeah.”
Jiu speaks without even turning her head, but I answer and stride over to her.
“Where’s Dad?”
“He went out in the car earlier.”
“Really?”
And I walk behind Jiu and hug her from behind while she’s cooking.
Then I feel her shoulders flinch.
“W-what are you doing.”
“What.”
“W-what do you mean, what. I’m asking what you’re doing.”
“Why. You don’t like it? Should I not?”
“······No, I mean··· it’s not that···”
I see Jiu’s ears burning red.
That sight is so cute.
I lower my head and lightly kiss her cheek.
The sensation on my lips is hot.
“···Hey.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you brush your teeth and wash your face?”
“Why, do I smell?”
“No, not that. Go wash up. Let’s eat.”
“Okay.”
Pfft. Laughing, I let go of her, and Jiu pouts and glances at me.
Leaving that sight behind, I giggle and head back to the second floor.
All the way up the stairs, and all the while squeezing toothpaste onto my toothbrush in the bathroom.
The smile refuses to leave my lips.
Oh my.
Even I think it’s a fascinating thing.
That I hugged Jiu without even washing up.
That means, now I too, to Jiu.
I must be ready to show her every side of myself.
*
That evening.
“Is Dad really not coming?”
“I have to come pick you up. If I go, I’ll definitely end up having a beer. You kids go have fun.”
Arriving in front of a fancy-looking building, I get out of the car awkwardly with Jiu at Dad’s words.
Both Jiu and I are dressed in unusually formal attire that we don’t usually wear.
“See you later.”
Dad’s car zooms off, and we awkwardly look at each other before moving our steps toward the building.
It’s a splendid restaurant-like establishment occupying an entire building, with a red carpet at the entrance and guards visible at the door.
No matter who looks, it feels like a place no ordinary person can enter.
“Welcome! Please come in!”
“···Thank you.”
But we’re not just anyone.
Just by showing our faces, we receive an embarrassingly courteous escort inside.
Walking past the entrance, classical music flows from within.
“···But is it really okay for me to go in too?”
“I told you it is.”
“I just wondered if it’s okay for me to tag along···”
Jiu looks up at me and asks, and instead of answering, I tightly hold her hand.
Of course it’s okay, what are you talking about.
The reason we came here today was to attend a party.
Well, call it an end-of-season party.
It’s a kind of celebration for successfully finishing all competitions and matches.
Attending a crowded party dressed like this isn’t really our style, but.
They said all team members must attend, so I came with a happy heart, since I had to anyway.
“Oh, Jian!”
“Jian’s here?”
“You came, Jian!”
“You look sharp today.”
Passing through the hallway and entering, a hall opens up before us, and under somewhat dim lighting, men holding glasses start greeting us.
“Ah, yes.”
At first, I was slightly flustered because I didn’t recognize them, but they were my teammates.
Since I only ever see them in training gear or uniforms.
Seeing them all dressed up, they’re so handsome it makes me momentarily uneasy.
What if Jiu’s standards rise because of all these good-looking people?
“Yo, bro! You came! Have a drink!”
Standing there a bit awkwardly, someone throws an arm around my shoulder and shoves a glass at me.
It’s Grealish.
They say he’s the best partier among us, and he already looks a bit tipsy.
“Why, can’t you drink?”
“Ah, no. I’ll take it for now.”
“Right. A day like today calls for a drink. You’re not a minor. Actually, even if you were, it wouldn’t matter. Haha!”
···Why wouldn’t it matter?
Well, anyway.
It’s been a year since I turned eighteen.
I take the glass Grealish offers.
And when I look beside me, Jiu has an expression full of curiosity, seemingly inwardly intrigued.
“Huh? Who’s this? Your sibling? Older sister?”
Only now noticing Jiu, Grealish asks with wide eyes.
Then the other teammates’ attention instantly focuses, and I answer while holding Jiu’s hand.
“She’s my girlfriend.”
“Oh, really? Wow, you’re something.”
“···What is?”
“You acted all innocent, but you’re doing everything on the side. Where’d you find such a beauty?”
I don’t know what innocent act he’s talking about.
Grealish looks at me with his mouth agape.
Making an expression that says this is more amazing than when I scored the penalty in yesterday’s final.
···Meanwhile, Jiu is giggling, taking it as praise for her.
Anyway, Grealish brings another glass and hands it to Jiu, saying,
“Just kidding. I’ve heard about you. Jian said you were incredibly cute and pretty, and it’s true.”
“···Did he?”
“Yeah. I asked if he wanted me to introduce him to a girl, and he got all serious. Said he had someone he liked, and that she was the prettiest in the world. Now I see why he got serious. With a girlfriend like this, you don’t need anything else.”
Jiu giggles at Grealish’s flowery way with words.
Then Jiu pokes my side and asks, unable to hide her smile.
“Did you really go around saying that?”
“···”
“You dummy. Why would you go around saying that.”
···For someone scolding me, she was practically grinning from ear to ear.
“Hey, wait a minute.”
“Hm?”
Anyway.
I take Grealish aside for a moment and speak quietly.
“···Thank you.”
“For what?”
“I never said anything like that.”
“Is that important? As long as the person hearing it feels good.”
Grealish says with a laugh.
Seeing that, I can’t help but laugh too.
“Is there anything you need?”
“Need? Next year, feed me assists. How about it?”
“···I’ll try.”
“Nice. Let’s party!”
I’m not sure if it’s a promise I can keep, but I should remember it for now.