Episode 203: Because I Like You -1
“So, what are you going to do now?”
“Me? Hmm. I wonder?”
Furtively.
I glance at Jiwoo and ask, and she shrugs.
“I don’t really know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I need to think about it more. I have time until this year.”
It’s about the future.
About my career path.
From what I’d heard, Jiwoo seemed to have quite a few options.
Preparing to enter university back in Korea, or studying more here. Or starting work somewhere.
She’d actually been worrying about this for quite a while, and since it was such an important issue,
she still didn’t seem to have made a decision.
“What about you?”
“…Me?”
Jiwoo asks back.
“You have to decide too, don’t you?”
“Hmm… That’s right.”
“What are you going to do?”
“…I guess I’ll have to talk about it now.”
Of course, I was in the same boat.
Nothing was decided yet.
Starting today, I had decided to talk about new things.
I was going to talk things over when the agent came by in the afternoon. I didn’t know why, but
I could tell from his texts that he seemed quite excited.
From what I’d heard, as soon as the transfer window opened, the fax machine was practically on fire.
It seemed inquiries had come in from all over wanting to talk.
Well, for me, I was confused whether that was good or bad.
What was certain was that the hardest things were waiting for me from now on.
Worrying among countless choices.
And deciding.
If it were the past, I might have run away.
Not knowing what to do, I probably would have left everything to the agent.
Just like coming to Italy hadn’t been my decision.
But not now.
Going through various things, I had learned one thing.
That perhaps the choice itself might not be the most important thing.
Whatever choice I made, from then on, doing my absolute best.
Wouldn’t that be the most important thing?
Because if I did that, the choice I made would eventually become the best choice.
It meant doing my best made the best.
Well, perhaps that was just my own rationalization to make myself feel a little better.
Anyway, that’s what I think.
Vrrr, vrrr.
Feeling the vibration from my pocket, I take out my phone.
It’s a call from the agent.
It was time to talk.
*
“May I ask one thing first?”
“Yes.”
“If you choose to transfer, what would be your top priority condition?”
At the agent’s question, for a moment I fall into the delusion that I’m being interviewed by a reporter, then return to normal.
A very direct question comes right from the start, so I’m a bit flustered, but this is the time to talk about these things.
“If it’s priority…”
“If we’re talking about conditions players consider, there are roughly these. Money! Living environment! Whether you’re a starter! The team’s vision!”
If it’s that matter, I’ve already thought about it.
It’s an if, but if.
If I go to another team… there’s only one most important thing.
“The transfer fee.”
“Huh? The transfer fee?”
I nod, and the agent makes an expression that he hadn’t quite expected this.
Then he asks carefully.
“Um, you do know what the concept of a transfer fee is, right?”
“…Isn’t it money the buying team pays the selling team?”
“Ah, yes! Simply put, that’s right! Then, you also know that the transfer fee goes entirely to the club?”
“Yes.”
In the first place,
if I were to leave the team called Fiorentina, there would be only one reason.
That is money.
But that wasn’t talking about money going into my account.
The money I needed was just… enough to buy Jiwoo an expensive meal sometimes, enough to pay for a house to live with Dad.
That much was enough.
I already had more than enough money; it piled up every week.
But… it didn’t seem to be the case for our team.
The money I’m talking about is our team’s story.
“Hmm, I see! Actually, the transfer fee is called by the parent club, and it’s decided at almost the final stage… but anyway, then we’ll have to narrow it down to rich clubs!”
The agent nods, rummages through his files, takes out sheets of paper one by one, and places them on the table.
“Rich clubs, or clubs that can spend a lot and have the will to do so…”
And then after a moment, he flips through those papers one by one and calls out names.
“Real Madrid. Barcelona. Paris Saint-Germain. Bayern Munich. Manchester United. Manchester City. Chelsea. Arsenal. Newcastle United. These would be the so-called big spenders!”
…Quite a dazzling lineup.
It feels unrealistic that those teams would call for me, but thanks to Mateo, I’ve already passed the stage of denying objective facts.
I nod calmly and ask.
“If it’s those kinds of teams… how much of a transfer fee could they pay?”
“Well, I don’t know. Even if I estimate it, the margin of error is too wide. Since we didn’t set a buyout clause in the last contract, the selling club can name its price. Still, if we base it on recent transfer trends and estimate…”
Somewhat complicated explanations pour out of the agent’s mouth, hard for me to understand.
I listen while nodding moderately, and if I summarize roughly, it seems to be this:
That a transfer fee of at least 150 billion won would be generated.
But since it’s too astronomical an amount for me to grasp, I wait for the explanation to end and ask.
“Then anyway… is that enough money for the team to operate with some leeway?”
“Well, of course! Actually, it depends on the team’s will and direction, so I can’t guarantee that, but anyway, it’s definitely an enormous amount of money for a club the size of Fiorentina!”
Hmm.
If it’s enormous… that’s enough.
As I’m nodding, the agent asks.
“You seem very concerned. About the club’s financial situation.”
“…Yes.”
“It’s something to worry about! In the end, it’s a worry born from loving the team. Whether staying helps the team, or leaving helps the team. These cases are the hardest. It would be easier if you were dissatisfied with the team!”
Certainly, rather than worrying alone, sharing worries with an expert eases the mind.
At the agent’s empathy that seems to pierce into my heart, I nod helplessly.
There’s only one thing I need to judge.
Which side would help the team more.
Other things… perhaps aren’t that important.
“For now, there’s still plenty of time, so let’s think about it more! One thing is certain: in any situation, you hold all the leverage! Still, since I am your agent and helper, let me tell you something!”
I look at the agent.
The agent’s advice is worth heeding.
“It’s hard to raise a whale in a fishbowl. No matter how much the whale likes the fishbowl, and no matter how much the keeper likes the whale! We can’t help but think about realistic difficulties, that’s what I’m saying!”
…Hmm.
I felt like I could understand exactly what he meant.
∙∙∙
“Did you talk things over?”
“Well… yeah.”
Around the time the sunset was settling magnificently.
I’m walking down the street with Jiwoo.
Dad said he’d eat dinner out and come back, so we were heading to a nearby restaurant to eat out too.
Since we were going where Jiwoo wanted to go, she seemed to be in a good mood, but I wasn’t so at ease.
Because I hadn’t finished my worries yet.
“What, that lukewarm answer means it wasn’t nothing?”
I shrug at Jiwoo’s question.
Around lunchtime, I had another meeting with the club alongside the agent.
The second meeting following the last one.
But there wasn’t much difference.
Between the first proposal the club had put out and the second proposal.
The club explained that the proposal they had made last time was already the best they could do, so more was impossible.
Well… I hadn’t been hoping for more than that either.
Rather, sitting across from the club had felt uncomfortable.
In my heart… I had wanted to say that even this much wasn’t necessary.
But I didn’t sign the renewal contract.
The reason… well.
A little, no, quite a lot.
Was it because the desperate appearance of the club officials had rather felt like a reason I shouldn’t sign?
“You got here right on time.”
“…Yeah.”
Before we knew it, we had arrived at the restaurant, and we walk up a gentle hill.
Going up, a staff member greets us, and we’re guided to a seat overlooking the river flowing below and the city.
Here, this is where I came with Jiwoo last time.
I think we took pictures together too.
“Shall I order?”
“Yeah.”
This is what’s good about going around with Jiwoo.
She reduces unnecessary worries, so to speak.
Well, of course, choosing a menu isn’t an unnecessary worry.
Anyway, unlike me, Jiwoo is decisive, so I just have to follow her.
And I’ve never really regretted following Jiwoo.
“Ah, nice. Every time I see this place, I’m amazed.”
Jiwoo looks at the cityscape spread out wide.
And I look at Jiwoo’s side profile like that.
Jiwoo, who always eliminated my worries, yet now she can’t do that.
Perhaps my worries are dragging on because of Jiwoo.
If it weren’t for Jiwoo, I might have already made my decision.
Because I had felt things since the season entered its latter half.
But… I couldn’t help but care about Jiwoo.
Because in any sense, Jiwoo is an important friend to me.
If it weren’t for Jiwoo, I might still not have adapted to this place.
And I might not have felt this city like my home.
No, not that I might have, but the probability that I would have is much higher.
“…”
Following Jiwoo’s gaze, I shift my eyes to the cityscape too.
And stay silent for a moment.
Various thoughts flash through my mind.
Then at a sudden thought, without shifting my gaze, I speak.
“…Hey.”
“Hmm?”
“Do you know how to cook all Italian food now?”
Perhaps it was a somewhat out-of-the-blue question, because the answer comes after a moment.
“I can cook most things, right? I have a certificate now too?”
…Hmm.
“…Then what about other countries’ cuisines?”
“What’s with this all of a sudden.”
“I’m just asking because I’m curious.”
“What is it. Hmm. I still have a lot to learn. Well, there’s French cuisine, Spanish cuisine. They all look similar but there are slight differences. Just like Korean, Chinese, and Japanese food are all different.”
I see.
Even someone as skilled as Jiwoo still has a lot to learn.
“…Do you want to learn more?”
“Of course, naturally? I don’t think I’m perfect yet.”
“Hmm… so that’s why you’re still worrying?”
“Well, yeah?”
At Jiwoo’s answer, I try nodding while still looking at the city.
At the same time, I feel my mouth twitching, my muscles flinching.
There’s actually something else I really want to ask.
It’s hard to bring that question out of my mouth.
I thought I had improved a lot at expressing my thoughts compared to before.
If I’m still like this, I wonder how foolish I was in the past.
I should just ask.
Am I the only one giving it meaning for no reason?
It’s just a question.
“…”
Why does this require such great courage?
To pull out the question I really want to ask from inside, I take a deep breath.
And trying to mix my sincerity into the breath I exhale…
I end up missing the timing due to a server who appeared.
“Your food is here—”
…I don’t know.
I sigh and look at the cityscape again.
It’s beautiful scenery.
Even just looking at it like this, it’s beautiful scenery that makes me not want to leave at all.
But the agent’s words resonated deeply with me.
Sometimes because you love someone, there are times you must find a different path for each other.
However, no matter what.
There exists someone for whom the words “I leave because I love you” simply don’t work.
There is someone I want to be with no matter what happens.
“Wow, I’m drooling just looking at it. Let’s eat, quickly. I’m starving.”
“…Yeah.”
The sight of Jiwoo looking happier than ever in front of food entered my eyes.