Episode 191: Secret -6
“Whew—”
Soft wisps of steam.
Kim Ji-woo stepped out of the bathroom, steam wafting from her damp hair.
Having just finished a bath, her cheeks were flushed red, and she looked both languid and comfortably refreshed.
“Hmm-hmm.”
A rather pleasant end to the day, perhaps.
Humming a little tune, Kim Ji-woo sat down in front of a small vanity.
She pushed her damp hair back with a headband, peered into the mirror, and carefully applied toner and lotion.
And next, hmm.
I feel like I’ll be going to bed late tonight for some reason, so maybe I should do a sheet mask.
She opened a drawer, pulled out one of the masks she’d stocked up on, tore open the package, neatly unfolded the mask inside, and stuck it onto her face.
It was a shame she never had anyone to show her masking routine to, but if she had to name a private source of pride—
it would be the fact that she still hadn’t found a mask that fit her face perfectly.
Once fully unfolded, it always covered her entire face and still had some left over.
What? Did she only buy the large ones on purpose?
W-well, who knows? Ah, probably not?
*Ahem.*
Anyway.
If she was going to sleep, she had to wait about fifteen minutes before taking the mask off.
About to lie down and scroll on her phone, Kim Ji-woo shook her head and opened the second drawer instead.
“Oh dear. It’s been a while since I used this.”
What she pulled out was a diary.
She’d resolved to write in it often, only to abandon it the very next day; it had already been over a month since she’d last written. So what?
You write when you want to.
Besides, it was a well-known law that you wrote best when you truly wanted to.
What meaning was there in filling it with trivial content out of a sense of obligation?
“Let’s see.”
And so, occasionally opening her diary around the time she’d nearly forgotten her last entry, the first thing she always did was reread her past entries.
What was the most recent one?
Ah, right.
It was this day.
The day I went to watch a match with Ji-an and an uninvited guest.
“…Heh.”
Reading the entry word for word, a smile naturally spread across Kim Ji-woo’s lips.
*Grin, grin.*
That day, the uninvited guest who’d suddenly shown up nearly ruined my whole mood, but Ji-an shut him down cold so I felt a little better.
Right.
Ji-an is super shy and gets uncomfortable around people she’s just met.
And on top of that, this guy was chattering away beside us.
He kept talking incessantly so of course it was annoying.
Even while our team was playing, at that.
He seemed to think he was pretty hot stuff and tried to make a move just because of his face. No way, no way.
Ji-an has really high standards.
Since she’s been looking at my face since we were kids.
“…Pfft.”
As if amused by herself, Kim Ji-woo made a raspberry sound and turned the page.
She wrote today’s date on the blank white page.
Weather: clear and warm.
Title…… hmm.
Shall I call it “Secret”?
I think that sounds nice.
*Click, click.*
Pen in hand, she began to write today’s entry.
—Title: Secret
School ended early today, so I came home and lazed around until I ended up taking a nap.
The other day, that is, the day I wrote the previous entry.
I had so much fun that day that I went to bed late, and I suffered from sleep schedule problems for a while because of it, so I’m a little worried it might happen again T_T…
Anyway, that’s not important; I think I’ve been a bit busy lately.
I have to prepare for final written exams and practical exams.
Classes don’t last long, but it feels like I’m only getting busier.
Honestly, I can hardly believe it.
That it’s already been nearly two years since I came to study abroad. Of course, there are still several months left.
Leaving Korea, leaving Mom and Dad’s side, tossing and turning with worry and crying feels like it was just the day before yesterday, and yet it’s already been two years.
Thanks to that, though I’m still lacking in many ways, my Italian has improved a lot, and I think I’ve gotten pretty good at cooking thanks to studying hard.
Hm, honestly, I think I improved at cooking more because of Ji-an than from what I learned at school.
I ended up using Ji-an’s kitchen like it was my own, haha;; Well, anyway, it’s a win-win for both of us, right? Right, right.
Anyway, the fact that it’s already been nearly two years means that time has flown by that quickly.
Hm, honestly, even though it was for my dream and for the chance to see Ji-an… it’s true that I worried a lot right up until I decided.
But once I actually came, there were so many fun things that those worries seemed laughable.
Of course, I missed Mom, Dad, and my older sisters a lot, but I never really felt lonely.
I video-called them almost every day, and also… because Ji-an and Ji-an’s father take such good care of me?
Honestly, I think I spent more time at Ji-an’s house than at my boarding house… hehe.
Anyway, I think that’s why time passed in the blink of an eye.
It was a really fun two years.
I’ve had so many experiences I never imagined after coming here.
Well, for example, going around here and there to watch soccer. Going to an awards ceremony wearing a dress that didn’t suit me because of Ji-an. Along the way, I cried and laughed too.
Honestly, maybe it felt even more fun because the three years before that were a little boring.
From second year of middle school to first year of high school.
Those three years felt like almost six.
So when the opportunity to study abroad came, I worried, but in the end, I decided to go.
Right.
Now that I think about it, I really did worry a lot.
Somehow, a spot opened up in Florence, where Ji-an was, and I thought, this is it! But—
just because I went didn’t mean I could stick close to Ji-an like old times.
I’m just a student, but Ji-an wasn’t anymore, so I worried needlessly on my own about whether she’d make time for me like before.
Since Ji-an was someone who would become busy.
But when I actually got here, somehow, things went back to the old days again.
We hadn’t seen each other in three years, but about a week? No, honestly, I don’t think it even took two days.
To get back to feeling like we’d just seen each other yesterday.
Was Ji-an perhaps a little worried about me?
In a way, Ji-an is my study-abroad senior.
She might have tried to spend time with me because she knows how hard it is to be alone.
So I’m thankful.
It’s a bit cringey to say thanks to a friend, so I didn’t say it.
But I really am thankful.
Hm, yeah.
Thanks, f—
“…Whew.”
She had written just the f of “friend,” as if some emotion had deepened.
Kim Ji-woo let out a sigh, her face still flushed, trying to cool her head.
…Anyway, if I’m going to write, I should do it in the evening. Writing in my diary late at night seems dangerous.
I get too emotional.
“…”
Not knowing exactly why, she somehow felt like she might cry, so she quickly fanned her face with her hands.
I feel great today, so why is this happening?
I don’t know.
I should hurry up and finish writing so I can lie down in bed.
—Hm, yeah.
Thanks, my friend.
Anyway!!!
Well, she takes such good care of me that I feel almost sorry, so I tried to do what I could too, you know.
Of course, to amazing Ji-an, the things I did probably weren’t much, but I did what I could.
Ugh. Jeez.
Now that I think about it, this Ji-an has really grown up.
When I first found her in the corner of the classroom, I used to worry whether this kid could survive this harsh world alone.
And now that kid has become world-class. World-class.
So honestly… I haven’t even told Mom or my sisters about this.
As Ji-an gets more and more famous and amazing, it’s somehow hard to think of her like before.
Ah! Of course, Ji-an hasn’t changed.
But what do you call it? The surrounding circumstances? Position? As those changed—
she got really busy, so I couldn’t call her out to hang out like before or drag her around somewhere by force.
I can’t do that stuff. Not anymore.
Actually, at first I wanted to brag that she was my close friend, but at some point, I stopped feeling that way.
Going around saying I’m her friend somehow… feels like I’d be a nuisance to Ji-an?
Precisely… ah, I don’t know. Just roughly understand. It’s my diary anyway; why do I have to explain?
The feeling I’m feeling right now! That feeling!
*Sigh.*
Anyway, I guess I got that feeling for no reason.
The feeling of watching Ji-an’s back as she opens the door and heads out into the world, from inside the house through a window?
It’s a good thing, but… somehow I feel like she won’t come back… because the world has more fun things than home.
And honestly, I joke around all the time, but Ji-an really is an amazing person.
No matter where you look, there’s nothing to say but amazing.
I still don’t know soccer very well, but the more I learn little by little, the more I can’t help but think Ji-an is amazing.
It’s absurd to wish that such an amazing friend would keep playing only with me like old times.
Even knowing that, I somehow couldn’t help feeling wistful for no reason.
But you know.
I was feeling that way, but today Ji-an did this.
She suddenly started talking about our elementary school graduation—ah, right, this came up because we were talking about the completion ceremony.
Right, right! Ji-an said she’d come to my completion ceremony!!!
No, no, so.
While talking about graduation, she started talking about her first and second choice for middle school, then said she’d actually lied back then.
She’d written Maeil Middle, the same as me, as her first choice.
She’d told me back then that she’d written Hwayeong Middle as her first choice, so I’d thought that was the case.
She’d said she was going there because she’d go to the same school as the soccer club kids, but she confessed that she’d actually written Maeil Middle as her first choice because I was her only friend.
Hahahahahahaha Ah, really, it’s so freaking cute even thinking about it again.
She talked about it like she was revealing some huge secret; I thought I’d die laughing.
Anyway, so I teased her, asking if she’d followed me all the way to middle school, what was so great about me, but she suddenly sighed and said something.
She said even so, I was the first to talk to her, and even though I was a bit violent, she could tell I was looking out for her, so she was grateful.
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my.
Even as I write this, my hands and feet are curling up in embarrassment.
She said she was sincerely grateful, and she’s still grateful now, but I didn’t know what to do.
Not knowing how to react, I just joked around saying, “I was violent!?” or something.
Maybe because she’s been busy and has a lot on her mind lately, my jokes didn’t really land.
She kept being serious.
She said even if we end up living apart while working hard at our own things, let’s keep being friends.
She said she’s not good at making new friends, but she can’t have zero friends, so she’s asking me to be her friend.
So I said okay.
It’s none other than Lady Ji-an asking me to stay friends; what reason would I have to refuse?
I somehow felt like I’m still Ji-an’s closest friend, so I felt good too.
Thanks to that, I went home in a good mood, but on the way, I started thinking.
But why did she suddenly say that? I wondered.
I mean, it was pretty out of the blue.
She’s not the type to say that kind of thing, either.
So after thinking it over carefully, a thought crossed my mind.
“Let’s keep being friends from now on” means… well, literally, fri—
—ends. That’s what she means, right?
Nothing else.
Thinking that, I felt a strange sting for some reason? Hahaha. I almost feel like she drew a line instead.
Of course, Ji-an might not have been thinking that deeply when she said it!!!
Anyway, of course, of course.
We have to keep being friends like now going forward, obv.
If I just stick by Ji-an’s side, think of all the crumbs that’d fall my way… just kidding!
Anyway.
Hm… how should I wrap this up?
Ah, I don’t know.
End of today’s entry!—
*Clack!*
Finishing her entry, Kim Ji-woo closed the diary and put it back inside the drawer.
“Whew…”
Then, beyond the vanity, she gazed at the night sky outside the window.
Perhaps because the moon hung especially large tonight, it was bright, and yet the light didn’t feel as bright as the sun.
“…”
*Hmm.*
These days, I’m thinking more.
The completion ceremony isn’t far off, and I worry a lot about what to do after that.
I have many worries in various ways, but there are also many fun things every day.
These days, my feelings come and go like waves, like today.
In that mood, Kim Ji-woo stared blankly out the window for a long while.
“…Ah!”
Suddenly checking the time, she hurriedly peeled the sheet mask clinging to her face and clicked her tongue.
I saw on YouTube that leaving this on for more than twenty minutes is actually bad for your skin.
“I’m doomed, I’m doomed, I’m doomed.”
Before she knew it, over thirty minutes had already flown by.