Di Wu rushed out of the bathroom, grabbing Mai Zijian with both hands.
The voice in his mind became clear.
【Analyzing Host Composition. The system will bind to the host based on host composition!】
Oh? There's such a good thing!?
Di Wu couldn't help but narrow his eyes. My composition?
If I had to say, it should be the Demon King, right!? The kind of invincible character setting like Tendou Souji, right?
【Host Composition: Comedy: 66.6%】
【Unlocking the "King of Comedy" system! Countdown to next composition analysis: 30 days!】
【To save the LPL, go become the King of Comedy!】
Two voices echoed in his mind.
What the hell? King of... Comedy?
What kind of system is this? Why does it sound so... unreasonable? He had heard of many character settings before, like Peerless Genius, Thunder Lord, but what does King of Comedy mean in esports? I'm not an actor!
【Ding! Scanning host's basic abilities.】
【Name: Di Wu】
【Position: Mid】
【Abilities:
Reaction: B (0%)
Hand Speed: A (0%)
Game Sense: A+ (0%)
Farming: B (0%)
Damage: B (0%)
Laning: B (0%)
Teamfighting: C (0%)】
【Champion Pool: Sylas (Lv. 3), Galio (Lv. 2), Karma (Lv. 2), Nautilus (Lv. 2), Lulu (Lv. 2), Lissandra (Lv. 2), Taliyah (Lv. 1), Ryze (Lv. 1)】(Max Level: 7)(Level 4: Proficient in professional play; Level 5: Can carry in professional play; Level 6: Potential ban on the professional stage; Level 7: Signature champion on the professional stage)
【Comedy Points: 0】
【Evaluation: A Deadweight!】
Are you cursing me again? This is called being a team player!!!
Di Wu pouted in dissatisfaction at the system's evaluation. There were always people who mistook a team player for deadweight. Faker also plays Galio. Can you say Faker is deadweight too?
After this complaint, the system hurriedly changed its final evaluation.
【Evaluation: Little Punk!】
Don't call me Little Punk! Bastard, I don't want to become a Big Idiot like Icon!
"I'm a deadweight! I'm a deadweight!"
Di Wu silently recited in his heart, and the evaluation finally changed back to "A Deadweight!"
But since he had obtained a system, no matter what... it counted as a cheat! And it wasn't like there was no room to turn things around. At least after a month, he could undergo composition analysis again.
Then he'd temporarily be the King of Comedy for a month!
His own champion pool... as expected, not playing competitively for too long caused regression, huh? He hadn't played in a match for over half a year. During this time, he had already shown signs of decline, playing CSGO every day.
As expected, he should still return to that arena!
"I'm going! I'm going!"
PDD and Mai Zijian exchanged a glance. Had this kid... finally gone mad? Because he had eaten too much crowd control in Summoner's Rift.
Had he finally, finally broken?
"Little Di! It's fine, it's fine!" Looking at Di Wu's appearance, PDD couldn't help but feel a few more pangs of guilt. Back then, he was the one who had gone to Di Wu's home to bring the kid back. He had originally wanted to send the kid to play professionally in the LPL, but instead caused the kid to develop psychological problems: "If you don't want to play professionally, then don't. I'll bring you along to stream and farm cash!"
"Stream and farm cash? Am I that kind of person?" Di Wu changed his attitude: "My dream is to represent the LPL at the World Championship and ascend to the highest stage!"
"I want to win. This is my fundamental principle as a professional player."
"I want to be Faker's opponent! I want to accomplish what all the predecessors before me failed to do!!!"
Now that he had a system, Di Wu's tone of voice was completely different.
Mai Zijian blinked. He couldn't believe that the confident teenager before him, who wanted to represent the LPL in competition, was the same person who had just said, "LPL? Even dogs wouldn't play there!"
No, seriously, what did you eat in the bathroom just now? Why are you doing such a 180?
"LPL? Dogs don't play it, but I do! I'll play in the LPL!!" Di Wu patted his chest with a solemn vow.
Mai Zijian glanced at PDD upon seeing this. PDD also pressed his lips together. He didn't understand how Di Wu's attitude could have changed so drastically after just one trip to the bathroom.
"Little Di? Actually, you don't have to force yourself. I'm not short of this bit of cash." PDD was already somewhat frightened.
Back then, he had solemnly promised Di Wu's mother that he would help Di Wu achieve greatness and glory. Now look—professional play had truly driven the kid to mental illness.
【Ding!】
【Teacher Piao has no confidence in the host. You must do something to let Teacher Piao know that this time, using the most resolute method, you are determined to go out and play professionally!】
Oh?
So it was a quest-based system? Good, good, good! It seemed like doing things would grant rewards. Then he'd let Teacher Piao see his resolve!
Di Wu couldn't help but clench both fists!
【Quest Issued: Use a cigarette butt to burn Teacher Piao's butt, letting him know your determination to go play professionally!】
???
Bastard! What kind of joke is this? What does this have to do with expressing one's determination to go play professionally?
What kind of person is Teacher Piao? He's my Bole, my master, my beloved kin who stood by my side last year when the entire internet was flaming me!
How could he do something so excessive as to burn Teacher Piao's butt with a cigarette butt?
【Quest Reward: Comedy Points x100, Proficiency Point *1, Random Peak PDD Champion Pool *1】
But then again, Teacher Piao had burned his own mouth with a cigarette butt before. Burning his butt or something should be fine, right?
Sorry, Teacher Piao. This is all for the LPL. Everything is for our region!
Di Wu instantly turned into black-and-white like in a manga, his expression complex yet resolute.
"Toward Teacher Piao's butt... use 'Fire Punch'!"
"Ugh!"
Teacher Piao suddenly felt heat in his lower body. It wasn't the familiar chill down his spine.
But with the heat in his lower body, Teacher Piao thought he had wet his pants.
"Ahem! Alright then, it's decided. I'll bring the manager over tomorrow to discuss the contract!"
Mai Zijian had no other choice now. He could only grit his teeth and nod. At least Gnik was still a player with match experience.
Actually, many insiders were still quite optimistic about him. Last year, it was really because Krystal was a bit too "humorous."
"Coach Mai, take care, don't bother seeing yourself out!!!"
Di Wu closed the door and turned back coldly to look at Teacher Piao.
"You—"
"What's wrong? Little Di, don't scare me!"
Teacher Piao subconsciously retreated two steps. Isn't this my house? Why did Di Wu have the expression of a pervert?
I haven't even taken off my glasses to say "let me see," so why is he looking at me like that instead?
"It's fine, it's fine, Teacher Piao. You should be starting today's stream soon! I'll go to my room to pack my things. This time, I must go to the LPL!"
Di Wu nodded forcefully, as if he had steeled some kind of resolve.
To become stronger, he had to burn Teacher Piao's butt!
PDD was also somewhat relieved to see this: "Ah, it's good that you can think things through! Last year was nothing. Being flamed by so many people means people were paying attention to you. Just play better this year."
Hmm?
PDD inexplicably touched the back of his neck. There was no chilly feeling. So why did his butt always feel hot? Did he poop his pants? No!
PDD touched his crotch again and sniffed. No smell? Could it be that he had already reached...
...the age where he couldn't hold it in?
He simply gave Di Wu a few instructions, then sat down at his computer and started streaming.
Di Wu began searching the entire house for cigarettes. He didn't smoke himself, so he could only go to Teacher Piao's room to look for some. Teacher Piao happened to be streaming. But after rummaging through boxes and cabinets...
Di Wu realized something extremely serious!
Whether it was because he was afraid of burning his mouth with a cigarette butt, or he was really quitting smoking, Teacher Piao had been vaping recently. There weren't any combustible cigarettes left in his house.
"This is bad, this is bad! My professional career has fallen into its greatest crisis!!!"
"Yang Fan, save me!!"
"Achoo!!!"
Krystal, who had just returned to his sister's place, let out a sneeze.
"Aiyo, which little sister is thinking of me again? Too bad, bro has already retired. Bro's legend will only live on forever in their memories!" Krystal grinned, revealing a brilliant smile: "Damn, why don't I team up with Di Wu and start an 'Eating Strike' brothers duo or something! The hype would be high too. Gotta think of a way to do some streaming!"
......