Episode 88. My Baby
2023.11.27.
Even with the morning sickness symptoms I had been inwardly waiting for, I couldn't simply rejoice. The moment I realized that fact, my heart sank.
'Not yet... it's not time yet...'
At the very least, it was a relief that it wasn't yet to the point of nausea.
"Oh, right. My lady, His Excellency asked me to give you medicine to nourish your body..."
Melly, who had been entering the bedroom together, opened her mouth as if remembering something, then looked at Blair with questioning eyes as she suddenly stopped in her tracks.
"My lady? What's wrong?"
Lina, who had been preparing the meal in the room, also approached quickly upon hearing Melly's voice.
"Are you unwell somewhere, my lady?"
"No, I'm fine. I just felt a bit dizzy for a moment."
Blair hastily waved her hands, but Lina and Melly's eyes filled with even more worry.
"Shall I call the attending physician?"
"It's not to that extent. I think I stayed in the hot water for too long."
Blair firmly grabbed Lina's hand, who looked ready to rush out to call the physician at any moment.
Fortunately, Lina didn't go to call the physician. Instead, she held Blair's hand with worried eyes.
"It seems like your body has weakened a lot recently. You should eat hearty meals, and how about taking a walk with me after you finish?"
At Lina's overprotectiveness, Blair chuckled and nodded.
"Yes, let's do that."
"Then please call me if you need anything."
After Lina and Melly left, Blair was finally alone in the room.
Blair approached the table where Lina had prepared the meal. The closer she got, the stronger the buttery smell from the bread became, and her appetite disappeared.
Blair moved the bread and soup—the sources of the smell—far away and came back to sit at the table. Then she carefully placed her hand on her lower abdomen.
"......Baby."
Her voice calling the child in her womb trembled slightly. So did the hand stroking her belly.
'Is this child really Ashiel?'
She had tried her best to recreate the same circumstances and timing as when Ashiel was conceived in her previous life, but she couldn't be certain.
But if she would only know for sure after giving birth anyway, she had no choice but to believe this child was Ashiel.
When she thought that Ashiel had come back through a long time to find her again, tears welled up.
After returning to the past, there had been many difficult things.
From the beginning of this contract marriage, to the things that happened while uncovering the truth of the incident from ten years ago, to the fingers pointing at her due to the rumors currently spreading.
But what made her endure every moment she wanted to give up was the will to meet Ashiel again no matter what.
She was happy that the fruit of persisting so tenaciously had finally taken its place safely in her womb.
"In this life, I will never, ever leave you alone."
I'll stay by your side until you no longer need your mother's help.
Thinking that she was no longer alone, her weakened heart grew a bit stronger. Because she had to become strong to protect the child in her womb.
Blair quietly stroked her belly for a long time like that.
* * *
After finishing her meal and returning from a walk in the back garden with Lina, Baroness Shionel was waiting for her.
"Have you been well, madam?"
She had been called to make a dress to wear to the Founding Day celebration in half a month.
"Thanks to you. Have you been well too?"
"Of course. With you calling for me like this whenever you remember, how could I not be well?"
Baroness Shionel laughed with her characteristic high-pitched voice, covering her mouth with a fan.
"Anyway, are you just returning from a walk?"
"Yes, the weather has been nice lately."
"That's wonderful! A healthy model makes the clothes stand out even more."
She skillfully led the conversation while spreading out the fabrics she had prepared in front of Blair.
There was no way she, as the empire's most popular fashion designer, wouldn't know about the rumors spreading throughout the capital, yet she didn't carelessly mention them.
Though she seemed lighthearted at a glance, her way of navigating the world, which wasn't as simple as her behavior suggested, was truly professional.
Thanks to that, Blair could comfortably choose the fabric for the dress and discuss the design.
A short while later, Blair, having finished the conversation, stood up first.
"I'm counting on you again this time."
"Of course. Please trust and leave it to me. I'll visit again in a few days after finishing the fitting."
When Baroness Shionel also rose from her seat, her assistants began efficiently packing up the fabrics they had brought.
Just as Blair was about to leave the reception room first, leaving that scene behind, one of Baroness Shionel's assistants approached her.
She handed Blair a catalog.
"Madam. This is a catalog compiling the new items that came out this time. Please take a look when you have time."
"Ah, thank you."
Blair reached out and received the catalog. At that moment, the assistant slipped something beneath the catalog into her hand.
'......A note?'
While Blair blinked with questioning eyes, the assistant hurriedly moved away.
The assistant had secretly given her the note, covering her hand with the catalog so that even Lina and Melly beside her couldn't see. If so, she couldn't open it here.
'Don't tell me, this note......'
There was one person she guessed might have sent this.
"I'm going to rest for a bit, so go attend to your duties."
After returning to her room, Blair sent away even Lina and Melly, then took out the note she had received from Baroness Shionel's assistant earlier.
When she unfolded the note, the contents written in familiar handwriting caught her eye.
[I have something urgent to discuss with you in person, but the security at the ducal residence has been so strict that I couldn't contact you. Even the maid who always delivers your messages was under surveillance, making it difficult to approach.]
Herdin hadn't simply prohibited her from going out and strengthened the ducal residence's security; he seemed to have thoroughly blocked all external contact itself.
Only then did she understand why she hadn't heard from Mikhail for a while.
[Before arranging a meeting, there is something I would like to ask first.
Is the plan and determination you initially spoke of still valid?]
The 'plan and determination' Mikhail was asking about probably referred to what she had said when she first visited the guild.
Causing a scandal, abandoning her current name and status, and leaving the ducal house.
[If that plan hasn't changed, I will naturally help you.
On the day I visit with the fitted dress from Baroness Shionel, please send a reply through the assistant who handed you this note. I will be waiting.]
After reading the entire note, Blair took a flower from the nearby vase, then shoved the note into the fireplace and poured water over it until it became soggy.
Then she stirred the paper with a poker until it was unrecognizable.
'I wanted to attend the trial if possible for Her Majesty the Empress, but......'
Now that morning sickness had even begun, she had to consider the worst-case scenario.
Blair's eyes, as she put the flowers back into the empty vase, were calm as if she had organized all her thoughts.
* * *
Before dinner time, Herdin, having returned home, finished bathing and visited Blair's room.
It had become his routine to return to the mansion after finishing outside work, hold Blair, and have dinner together in the bedroom when evening came.
However, contrary to his plan, Blair was fast asleep.
It was disappointing that his plan had been disrupted, but the night was long, so he could understand a brief rest.
Knowing full well who was responsible for making her tired day and night lately, he couldn't help but feel a bit guilty.
Herdin quietly sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at the sleeping Blair.
Everything had been going smoothly.
He had collected all the evidence that would reveal the truth behind the empress palace fire incident from ten years ago.
'Now, the only thing left is......'
Herdin's gaze shifted to Blair's flat stomach covered by the blanket.
If only he could create a bond that no one could use to tear her away from him, so that she would remain by his side.
If only that could happen, it felt like all the anxiety remaining at his feet would disappear.
Herdin covered Blair's stomach with his large hand and stroked it, but ultimately unable to contain his surging desire, he leaned his body toward her.
The desire that had taken her endlessly for a while couldn't even wait for that brief moment of peacefulness.
The moment his selfish lips were about to swallow her defenseless lips—
Her tightly closed eyelids trembled subtly, and Blair slowly opened her eyes.
"......Ah."
Startled by his face right in front of her as soon as she opened her eyes, Blair's eyes widened.
But the culprit caught right before committing the act wasn't startled at all; instead, he brazenly swallowed her lips straight away.
His lips, repeatedly pressing and releasing, tangled more deeply and persistently. Soon, his hand naturally moved up to her stomach.
At that moment, Blair, who had been passively responding to his kiss, shyly avoided him.
Herdin, who had keenly noticed, lifted his lips and looked at her, and Blair answered mumblingly.
"......I don't think my body is well."
As she said that, Blair's hand hidden under the blanket was wrapped around her lower abdomen as if protecting it.
During early pregnancy, the probability of miscarriage is high.
Now that she knew she was pregnant, she had to avoid physical intimacy with him as much as possible.
Herdin's eyes narrowed as he looked at Blair like that.
"Have you been examined? Did you take medicine?"
"It's not to that extent. Just...... I'm a bit tired. I want to rest."
Blair equivocated like that while watching his reaction. Fortunately, Herdin didn't inquire further and withdrew.
Just as Blair, relieved, was about to close her eyes again in peace, Herdin's words dropped her heart.
"But this month, it seems you haven't had your period yet."