Chapter 74. I Thought I'd Go Crazy
2023.11.13.
Blair's eyes shook violently upon seeing that face.
"……Marina?"
A maid of the Empress's Palace who used to play card games together with Esmeralda, laughing and chatting.
Why……?
Blair wanted to ask, but the maid who had lost her balance plunged headfirst into the sofa armrest. Crimson blood streamed from the corner where her head had struck.
"Ah……. Ah……."
Blair stared at the candelabra in her hand and the bleeding Marina with trembling eyes.
An eleven-year-old princess was too young to know what death was. Not knowing the weight of death, she had only learned that killing was simply a bad thing, without understanding how heavy that sin truly was.
But in that moment, it hit her with cruel clarity. What it meant to take a life.
'But, Marina was trying to kill Her Majesty the Empress…….'
Blair justified herself as she staggered backward, her body seeming ready to collapse at any moment.
She wanted to flee this hell immediately, but her body wouldn't obey. The acrid smoke choked her breath.
Then suddenly, she remembered that she had to save Esmeralda.
Blair stepped up onto the table and approached Esmeralda, who was hanging from the ceiling.
"……Your Majesty."
Even when called, she didn't stir.
Tears fell pattering from Blair's vacant eyes as she looked up at her.
"No. No……"
She wanted to untie the cloth wrapped around Esmeralda's neck right away, but the ceiling was too high for a child.
"Help me……. Please, someone……"
Blair hugged Esmeralda's legs amidst the flames and wailed.
She had killed someone to save Esmeralda. It felt like everything would be alright if only Esmeralda would hold her and tell her it was okay, that it wasn't her fault.
But Esmeralda was dead, and Blair was left trapped alone in this hell.
'If only I had woken up a little sooner. If only I had come out of the closet a little faster……'
Then couldn't she have saved Her Majesty the Empress?
'My hesitation, my fear…… that's what failed to save Her Majesty.'
Because I was weak.
Because I was a powerless child.
Because I…… Your Majesty.
"Hah, ugh……"
Blair, who had been crying, stopped weeping.
She could no longer breathe. Her lungs felt as though she had inhaled the flames themselves, and once she exhaled, she couldn't draw in another breath.
Gradually her consciousness grew hazy and strength drained from her body. Blair collapsed onto the table. Amidst the inferno that seemed ready to devour everything, Blair blinked vacantly.
'I can't breathe……'
At that moment, instinct overriding everything else moved the child.
Blair clung to her fading consciousness and made it out to the corridor. It too was already filled with dense smoke.
Squeezing the last remaining air from her lungs, she walked down the corridor. The already long hallway felt like an infinite track.
"Haa……"
Blair, who finally expelled her final breath, collapsed right there in the corridor. Her consciousness gradually blurred and her heavy eyelids fell shut.
As she closed her eyes, Blair prayed.
Please, let this be a dream.
When she woke up, that everything from this night would be as if it never happened…….
* * *
The ducal residence was turned upside down.
The duchess, who had hastily departed for the imperial palace at dawn, had suddenly been kidnapped, only to return cradled in Herdin's arms.
With blood on her head and soot covering her entire body—a miserable sight.
After laying Blair on the bed, Herdin watched the maids busily wipe her down and change her clothes, then stepped out into the corridor.
The attending physician who had just arrived hastily bowed to Herdin before entering Blair's room.
The noise, everything that made up this situation, somehow felt distant.
As he closed his eyes in irritation against the throbbing headache and leaned against the wall, he sensed someone approaching.
"Your Grace. Are you uninjured?"
It was Mason.
Somehow, his question—prioritizing his own safety even in this situation—struck him as absurd.
"As you can see."
"The Madam…… will be alright."
Mason had carefully chosen his words after a long pause. Herdin fell silent for a moment before giving a meaningless response.
"……I suppose she will be."
She had to be.
As Mason stood silently by Herdin's side, hurried footsteps approached.
It was Ruth, who had gone to the temple to fetch a priest, and Miella following behind him.
Herdin's gaze turned icy cold at the sight of her.
"Hello, Your Grace."
The woman offered her greeting with her characteristic innocent face, as though she had completely forgotten their previous conversation. Even though that conversation couldn't have been pleasant for her either.
Of all the many priests at the temple, it had to be this woman. What an exquisite coincidence.
"I heard the duchess was severely injured. May I examine her condition?"
However, there was no time to wait for another priest to be brought.
Herdin led Miella into Blair's bedroom.
With all the soot and blood wiped away, Blair wore a peaceful face that could almost make her appear to be sleeping, but they couldn't let their guard down.
Divine power could perfectly heal external injuries, but it could not cure diseases.
If it were simple burns, divine power could treat them, but if her already damaged lungs had developed an illness, treatment would be impossible.
She was a woman who had already suffered major damage to her respiratory system from the accident ten years ago.
If her lungs developed problems again this time, it might truly threaten her life.
Miella approached Blair first and used her divine power. However, for some reason, the wounds were healing extremely slowly.
'What?'
The moment a faint magic circle appeared around Blair's collarbone, the physician who had been waiting his turn behind dropped his medical bag.
"Oh my, I apologize."
While Miella failed to see the magic circle due to the distraction, Blair's wounds were healed.
Miella, having finished the treatment, stepped back. From here on, it was the domain of medicine.
"May I stay and examine the duchess's condition a bit more closely? There might be remaining burns."
At Miella's suggestion as she withdrew from Blair, Herdin gave a slight nod to indicate his permission.
A short while later, the physician who had finished his examination reported on Blair's condition.
"Fortunately, the head injury appears to be only a mild concussion. It would be best for her to rest for a few days."
"And her respiratory system?"
"It doesn't seem her respiratory system took significant damage either, so you can ease your worries on that front."
The physician bowed to Herdin before quietly leaving the room.
Only the sleeping Blair, Herdin, and Miella remained in the room.
Herdin recalled Miella's words from earlier and turned to look at her. He met her worried eyes that had been watching him.
"Are you alright, Your Grace?"
Herdin let out a scoff.
If someone else had asked, it would have sounded like a simple greeting or concern, but knowing this woman's meddlesome nature, it didn't sit well with him.
"Shouldn't treating the critical patient come first?"
"But, the madam has finished her urgent treatment, so now you could tend to your own body—"
"Priestess."
Herdin cut off Miella before she could finish. Unconcealable irritation laced his voice.
"Treat my wife first. Everything else comes after."
At Herdin's resolute attitude, Miella reluctantly approached Blair and examined her body.
"Fortunately, there don't seem to be any remaining burns."
"I will properly compensate you for coming so urgently. You can have it sent to the temple, or if you prefer it in your own name, that's fine too."
"No, that's not necessary. I'm merely carrying out what the gods will."
Miella waved her hands, saying she didn't need compensation.
Just as Herdin was about to evaluate her as a genuine servant of the divine after all, Miella asked.
"But…… how did the duchess end up like this?"
The woman crossed the line with an innocent face.
He didn't know if she was truly innocent or cunningly feigning innocence, but either way, it was a curiosity he didn't welcome.
Herdin scoffed. But it was fleeting. As if he had never smiled at all, the smile vanished from his face, leaving only a cold gaze.
"Priestess."
He leaned slightly toward Miella and met her eyes. Rather than feeling flustered by the proximity, Miella found that gaze chilling.
"Haven't you heard the saying that what you see and hear in someone else's home shouldn't be spoken of outside?"
His voice that followed as well.
"Surely you learned that. During your days as a novice priestess."
Even though he wasn't raising his voice, even though his words weren't threatening, her body shrank back, overwhelmed by that severity.
Herdin, who had been staring at her, raised his head again and looked down at her as he spoke.
"You must be busy, so you may leave now."
Miella looked at him with frightened eyes before averting her gaze and speaking.
"……I was impertinent."
After finishing her bow, Miella promptly left the bedroom. Finally, only Herdin and Blair remained in the room.
Herdin erased his sharp demeanor from earlier and approached the sleeping Blair, sitting in the chair beside the bed. Only then did the tension release and a deep sigh escape him.
Whether it was his imagination or not, Blair's expression seemed considerably more at ease than before.
The sight of her so peaceful after turning the entire ducal residence upside down amused him, and a faint laugh escaped. Then suddenly, when the memory from the forest villa moments ago surfaced, anger surged within him.
The moment he arrived at the villa following Blair's traces.
His mind went blank the instant he saw the villa engulfed in flames. His head was filled with nothing but that face.
The face that had chosen to die trapped in a closet, unable to escape the memories summoned by hypnosis.
The figure who, even freezing to death, couldn't bring herself to light the lighter in the end.
Because that face of hers came to mind—the one that had rejoiced like a child over a single roasted marshmallow.
……I thought I'd go crazy.
Even knowing that Blair might have already escaped the villa and fled, he threw himself into the burning building.
There were no memories after that. He couldn't recall what state of mind he'd been in, or how he had found Blair inside the flame-engulfed villa.
His senses returned the moment he faced her amidst the flames.