Chapter 7. A Moment of Desire
2023.09.07.
Beneath the moonlight streaming through the window, the man's large body was fully revealed.
Sleek collarbones, a broad and firm chest, a torso so thick it couldn't be fully embraced with two arms, and a rigidly sculpted abdomen without a single flaw.
It was the unequivocal body of a man.
Blair stared at his body with eyes that seemed to be looking at something unfamiliar.
She had seen this body countless times in her past life, so why did it feel so strangely new?
'Is it... because of his expression?'
Unlike in her past life where he feigned love, in this life, his blue eyes were filled solely with desire.
At this moment, Blair finally understood what it meant to be overwhelmed by someone's gaze.
Tension made her muscles taut. Her heart pounded rapidly. Even though he was merely looking at her, she felt as if she would be devoured alive.
Suddenly, she became afraid of the man wearing a stranger's face. Yet, contradictorily, a tingling heat began to rise from deep within her core.
Even though she had returned to a body that did not know him, it still remembered the pleasure he had given her in her past life.
Having crossed the threshold of death to return to the past, only to find herself reacting to him once more—it was a miserable realization. Unable to control her own body, Blair decided it was better not to look at him at all.
Seeing his wife stubbornly turn her head away, Herdin's brows drew together.
She had been the one fearlessly prattling on about marital duties and whatnot, yet now that she was actually laid on the bed, she looked as if she might cry.
"Like this, it doesn't seem like a 'good relationship', but rather like I'm a bastard violating my wife."
At that, Blair flinched. Soon after, her gaze reluctantly returned. It seemed she had no intention of voiding that strange clause in their contract.
As if he had been waiting for this, Herdin pressed his lips over hers.
"Haah..."
With her retreat blocked by the bedsheets, the kiss grew even deeper and more persistent. A pained moan slipped through Blair's gritted teeth.
Herdin released Blair's panting lips and trailed down to her pale neck.
A sweet fragrance emanated from the woman's skin. It smelled like flowers, or perhaps like fruit.
Intoxicated by the scent, he traced his lips down her neck and along her rounded shoulders before tearing away the obstructive nightgown slip. The flimsy garment ripped easily.
Beneath it, her slender body was revealed. It was far more beautiful than he had guessed from her silhouette.
Startled by the cold air brushing her bare skin, Blair hastily tried to cover herself, but Herdin easily stopped her.
He savored the woman in his embrace. Her skin was as soft as fresh cream—yet no matter how much he rolled it on his tongue, it did not melt away.
Blair pushed against his unyielding, solid shoulders and whimpered.
"This, things like this... I don't like it."
She knew he was acting out of consideration for her.
But she hated it because his actions overlapped with the man from her past life.
Afraid that she might arbitrarily mistake his touch, his warmth, for love once again.
"Just... just do it. Please."
But rather than pulling away, he snatched Blair's waist as she kept trying to retreat, pulling her firmly against him.
"Ah!"
Herdin soon realized she was lying. Seeing her trembling legs, one corner of his mouth tilted upward.
"I don't know about that. It seems like *here* likes it."
Ignoring Blair's resistance, he focused on making her body adapt to him. The resistance clenching around his fingers was quite fierce.
At her reaction, his lower abdomen tightened as a heavy ache began to spread.
His desire, already swollen to its limit, urged him to do as she said and just take her, but he clenched his jaw and suppressed his urges.
Of course, this woman would be beautiful even in tears.
Imagining that sight, perhaps giving in to his desires and simply taking his fill, just as she had said, would be far more arousing. But if he did, this fragile woman would likely shatter from the strain.
He could not lose a crucial witness to 'that' incident, swept away by a momentary lapse of desire. That was out of the question.
Eventually, judging that Blair was ready, Herdin climbed over her and settled into position.
Blinking her hazy eyes, Blair suddenly snapped back to reality at the sight of the massive shadow looming over her.
As she met his fervent blue eyes gazing down at her, she felt a searing heat. It was the same presence that had been asserting itself, impossible to ignore, since earlier.
Their first night together in her past life had been sweet, but simultaneously painful. Part of it was because it was her first time, but even setting that aside, his sheer size had been overwhelmingly unmanageable.
Remembering the pain of that moment, Blair's body instinctively went rigid.
Noticing this, Herdin wrapped her legs around his waist and murmured low.
"Relax. It's fine."
The naive Blair of her past life had believed those words, but the Blair of this life knew better.
A lie.
Those words were a blatant lie. A sweet whisper of a demon trying to let her guard down so he could devour her.
Nevertheless, even knowing his true nature, she couldn't bring herself to push away this cruel and beautiful demon.
As Blair hesitated, neither relaxing nor pushing him away, Herdin kissed her again, pressing his body even closer against hers.
From that highly deliberate action, Blair's body flushed with heat. Noticing this, Herdin slowly but mercilessly joined his body with hers.
At the unfamiliar pain, Blair reflexively pulled her hips back. But Herdin's arm wrapped around her waist, dragging her back toward him.
Deeper, even deeper.
Herdin gritted his teeth and exhaled a ragged breath. Simply waiting for her to adjust like this had already pushed his patience to its absolute limit.
Though the very woman driving him mad didn't seem to have the slightest clue just how much restraint he was exercising.
Tossing aside all the drivel about a "good relationship" she had just spouted from her own lips, he wanted to release his desire that was on the verge of exploding.
Ultimately, Herdin lost his rationality and began to thrust into Blair. Her vision fading into dizziness, Blair bit her lip.
But gradually, this unfamiliar yet familiar act awakened sensations her body had forgotten, but her subconscious remembered.
Blair could barely catch her breath against that dizzying sensation. Seeing her like this, Herdin furrowed his brows.
"Breathe, Blair."
A ragged voice, scratching at his throat, rang in Blair's ear. Yet, contrary to his concerned words, his movements grew even more vigorous.
As her consciousness faded into dizziness, Blair instinctively clung to him. Even though she knew the demon tormenting her was him, she had no choice but to hold him tight.
In this moment, in this world, only the two of them existed.
Having finally reached his peak, Herdin cooled the heat of his body and admired the woman who lay exhausted in his embrace.
The woman who had completely taken him in was beautiful.
Her face was objectively beautiful, and he didn't disagree, but it was a truth that hadn't particularly stirred him before.
Yet at this moment, that fact struck him anew.
Her pale figure, looking as if crafted from moonlight; her moist, violet eyes; her lips, flushed red from being bitten so much; even her whimpering voice calling his name—it was all enchanting.
...Truly, damn it all.
Enough to momentarily forget whose daughter she was.
A surge of disgust rose within him at his own state. Yet, his thirst for this woman remained unquenched. He couldn't stop.
This feeling was merely a momentary desire.
If he held her until this night passed, this nonsensical thinking would surely stop. Like snow melting away this night.
With that thought, Herdin embraced her once more.
"...Herdin?"
Blinking her hazy eyes, Blair belatedly grasped the situation and struggled, but it was in vain.
Herdin felt a strange sense of satisfaction at the sight of the woman clinging to him once again.
His solid, massive body became a prison that confined her, devouring her like a ravenous beast.
Throughout the long winter night, without a moment of rest.
Buried in the bottomless mire of overwhelming pleasure, Blair endlessly repeated a single thought to herself.
Don't forget, Blair.
He does not love you.
* * *
"Uhh..."
Feeling the sunlight flickering by her eyes, Blair forced her heavy eyelids open.
As her hazy vision cleared, the view of an unfamiliar yet familiar room came into focus.
It was the room of the Duchess of Delmark, where she had stayed before returning to the past.
The moment she saw the scenery, she almost mistook it for a dream about returning to the past, but seeing the child's dolls and belongings that usually cluttered the room gone made it feel real.
Moreover, the throbbing, dull ache echoing throughout her entire body proved that the second first night she spent with him last night was no dream.
'My memories remain, but my body has returned to the past, so this is only natural.'
Just like the first time she spent a night with him—no, her body felt even heavier and sorer than back then.
Tormented by the mercilessly dizzying pleasure, she had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion, yet even then, Herdin had not let her go. He acted as though he was safeguarding something entrusted to him.
Blair’s last memory, as she repeatedly drifted in and out of a fainting sleep, was of the break of dawn—his broad back retreating as he left her exhausted, sleeping form behind.
It was only after seeing that back that Blair finally understood.
'So this was your true intention.'
The man from her past life who stayed by her side until morning had been so desperate to extract the truth from her.
And how naive she had been to believe it.
The true intentions she had finally confronted, only after miraculously returning to the past, were far colder and more bitter than she had imagined.
But she was rather relieved. She wouldn't have to feel guilty about using him for her own purposes.
Having calmly reined in her emotions, Blair forced her heavy, aching body upright and pulled the bell rope.